How do you feel about being CD/TV

[gennee]

AMYTS:

I love being a crossdresser. It adds another dimension to my complexities as a human being. When I was questioning my gender identity, I though I might be bisexual. After counseling, I came away with a clear picture of what was going on inside of me. Trouble was headed off when I came out to myself as a TG/CD. Since that day, I have been at peace and feel no shame.
I have always liked stuff outside the normal boundaries. If someone speaks negatively about a CD, I take it as a complement because we are being true to ourselves as CDs. The struggles are valuable because, in the end, we will be better as people.


Gennee

[CJFMix]

I assume totally who and what I am .

Whenever I cross somebody who try to make me feel like
I'm a twisted freak : My reply is :

SO WHAT !!! Look somewhere else !!!

CD's & TV's are totally harmless & innoffensive .

We don't have to be shy to go public &

affirm what we are .

[Sara60]

I really enjoy being a cd. I like to let the feminine side out as much as I can to.

[Lana]

Ya know, years ago I was asked by a therapist if I heard voices and I told her I wasn't sure because I thought they just might be impersonating my own inner voice. She told me to come back when I was serious which was kinda strange being as I was there because I attempted suicide, methinks I was kinda serious, at least about that, but there ya go, go figure

[Tristen Cox]

Is there a little voice that argues with you?
Yes but that's just Tamara

Sorry I could better answer you when I get to replying to your thread in the TS section.

[Deborah]

Thank you all that answered. My main point was to see how many people were content with who they are or is there an inner conflict. Nothing else.
Thanks
Amy

[Katie Ashe]

I love CD'ing. It is a part of me. Someone the other day, said it is my choice to dress. I disagreed with her. Stealing is a choice, violence, hatered, cheating, crimes of passion, etc are choices. Transgender, CD'ing (for me), love, etc are not choices. they just are. When was the last time you choose to take a breath? How do I feel about CD'ing... it is like the air I breath, I wouldn't want to stop, nor could I. GOD for some dumb joke choose to wire me differently. And I'm thankfull for that. I am now more open to my needs, and have meet some really nice people, otherwise would never have meet.

Why try to control what you can't, harness it and use it to your advantage.

[Deborah]

Interesting Katie Ashe

I couldn't imagine what it would be like if i wasn't feminine in any way.
I would be a regular guy....ughh just depresses me thinking about it and can't even finish.


Edit...ok so i took a break. That was an interesting reaction. I pictured myself as a regular guy and it freaked me out lol. Weird.

[Krystal Lee]

Amy,
I can't say I hear voices but, I do talk to myself. I have thought and wondered about what I am, and why for most of my life. I have been dressing and had the desires as long as I can remember, I am talking three or four years old here. My mother took a picture of me in diapers and high heels, so things started very early with me.

Throughout the course of my life I have questioned and wondered why I was different from the other guys and finially decided God had played a joke and I got the best end of the deal.

Don't have the feelings of guilt anymore. All of us know that load of rubbish we carried around. Now my thoughts just say enjoy life, because it's too short for worry over wearing panties or not. ( sorry Tristen!)

Hope this helps you some. Hugs Krystal.

[suchacutie]

I'm very new to all of this, and there's never been a negative thought. I have no idea why it's exciting, but when I see my wife's smile when she talks to her girlfriend, my world lights up with that smile!

[Deanna2]

Hi Amy

I'm not sure that now is the right time to explain, explore or anything as I am near the end of a fourteen hour day with work still to be done before I go home. You did, however, ask for some comment, so I thought I would at least get back to you before too much time went by.

This is the sort of discussion we should have over coffee, wine or name your poison. My preference is a nice chilled dry white wine (from a fresh bottle with a spare in the fridge), but I'm at least an hour or so away from that.

You mentioned 'normal' in your opening post. My presumption on reading this is that there are other options apart from normal. The voices to which you refer also indicate that there are two sides or maybe more. To which side do we each lean?

I don't question this aspect of my being because wearing femme gear is what I enjoy immensely and I do it unambiguously. Now I'm starting to use big words and that can only be because I've too much coffee .

Let's talk again soon.

Luvya

[JayeEdgar]

Happy, good, comfortable, natural, at ease AND frustrated, confused, sad, anxious,depressed. Who among hasn't felt all these things? That's the maddening thing about cding. It is a very complicated thing; a lifestyle that requires more than a little effort at times. I've done it for so long; at so many levels, for many reasons it seems. I gave up wondering why a long time ago. I am a crossdresser and I accept that; I would be very unhappy if I could never do it again but I can't say that it's never caused me unhappiness either. I've gained a new perspective on it in the last couple years, thanks in large part to finding this forum and community. I feel it makes my life more interesting and ultimately, more rich and rewarding too. I am glad that this is what I am even though it has complicated my life. Hey, life is not a job for the faint-hearted (was gonna say "sissies", but, that doesn't sound right) and our lives as crossdressers sure isn't the easy road to take. That said, it's the road we're all on and like any travelers, we find rewards in the journey, not necessarily the destination. Olivia.

Beautifully stated, Olivia

Yes, I have those voices in my head.

One pushing me toward dressing--planning which combination of clothes I want to try this time; anticipating the sensuous feelings; and urging me to find a convenient opportunity, soon.

The other pulling me back--asking whether all the trouble is worth it; suggesting that a visit to the forum (in drab) would suffice; and restraining me from taking the initial steps.

Sometimes the first wins; sometimes, the second.

While I immensely enjoy dressing once I do it, I am still a little taken aback that I have such desires. Since I started late in life, I guess I am still trying to overcome a lifetime of taboos. [But, to complicate things even more, there is a part of my psyche which enjoys the liberation which comes from breaking the taboos and doing something which much of society would consider decadent and depraved]

Thanks for asking, Amy

[Deborah]

Hi Amy
You mentioned 'normal' in your opening post. My presumption on reading this is that there are other options apart from normal. The voices to which you refer also indicate that there are two sides or maybe more. To which side do we each lean?

I don't question this aspect of my being because wearing femme gear is what I enjoy immensely and I do it unambiguously. Now I'm starting to use big words and that can only be because I've too much coffee .

Luvya

What i meant by Normal was that i knew people may answer by saying "it feels normal" or "I know its not normal." Basically i'm wondering if mainstream (where you live here) or society in general has any influence on how you feel about yourself. Are you comfortable with it? or is there an inner conflict? (maybe because you listen to society and you as a person don't feel "Normal")

I wanted to leave out the "Normal" part and let people decide
1) Are you comfortable or
2) Is there inner conflict

No mention of categorizing. I look forward to your answer.

[Mary M]

i've purged a bunch of times, so i guess there is an argument in my head.

i didn't have this forum back then, though.

i've only been here a couple days and already feel more confident and comfortable in who i am and what i do.

ooxx

[Nicole_Lasmedias]

Before I accepted myself, the voice would make me guilty about crossdressing, you know the usual stuff. Now I've accepted myself, it can't make me guilty about that anymore. But that voice is really tricky...
Now, the voice makes me guilty if spend too much money on shoes or dresses...

[LaceLuvr]

nope no voices arguing with me here, i have in the past but only when alone & depressed or when i tried dating someone and wasn't able to share who I am with them.....BUT GUESS WHAT!!!!!!


i don't have that problem anymore my baby (LaceLuvr's GG aka "Silk") accepts me for myself and *poof* no more voices

[Lana]

What i meant by Normal was that i knew people may answer by saying "it feels normal" or "I know its not normal." Basically i'm wondering if mainstream (where you live here) or society in general has any influence on how you feel about yourself. Are you comfortable with it? or is there an inner conflict? (maybe because you listen to society and you as a person don't feel "Normal")

I wanted to leave out the "Normal" part and let people decide
1) Are you comfortable or
2) Is there inner conflict

No mention of categorizing. I look forward to your answer.

Nope I've never really been all too comfortable being a CD mainly because of the views of mainstream society, that and the fact that I'm about as ugly as ugly can get, even on a good day. I grew up thinking I was some sort of freak and after 40 years of negative reinforcement from society at large I pretty much believe that I am a freak to a great extent. Inner conflict? inner comflict you say? Oh yeah I gots loads and loads of inner conflict, pick a minute of the day and there's some sort of conflict going on up to and including continual thoughts of suicide, but that's just me and I'm as stable as a one legged table in a hurricane, but I'm used to it. I still think the voices in my head are impersonating my own inner voice so I tend to ignore my own thoughts as much as possbile.

[Angela Burke]

In younger years I wished I wasn't who I was but now I am quite happy and content with being a TV. It's turning into the best times of my life.

I don't hear any voices but I constantly feel my butt being kicked for not embracing Debbie twenty years earlier than I did.

Debbie

Debbie,

The last paragraph of your post should be carved in stone.

Love Angela XX

[Brianne_bc]

Today... knowing im in such great company im proud to be a CD... I may not be "out" to anyone other than my wife ... but im very proud to belong to our secret society....

[Angela Burke]

Today... knowing im in such great company im proud to be a CD... I may not be "out" to anyone other than my wife ... but im very proud to belong to our secret society....

No "secret society" here sister.
No way!

Love Angela XX

[Shaylynn]

I never heard any inner voices but I did have many questions about who I was mean to be. From a very young age I was interested in dressing feminine and being girly. Always love the feel of satin and lace. Sadly for a long time I always felt a certain amount of guilt too, I don't any more. Now I accept my femmy side and plan to enjoy it.

[MaylinJane]

I wanted to leave out the "Normal" part and let people decide
1) Are you comfortable or
2) Is there inner conflict
.

"There is no conflict," she says in her best James Earl Jones voice.

I've always been comfortable with who I am pretty much, however when I was younger I was more concerned with what others would think. I was more afraid of being judged and ridiculed. Perhaps also a fear that I was unworthy of or could not be loved. It was that fear that made me uncomfortable inside. As I became older and wiser, I came to the conclusion that what others thought of me was insignificant. All that really mattered was what I thought of me and that was enough.

May

[HaleyPink2000]

I have inner talking to myself that can be turned of with hypnosis.
But as for voices from someone else in there. Nahh! LOL

Ok to get a little serious.
I'd be a woman If I could be. I'd go have the surgery and go jump all the hoops to do so. But I am way inlove with my wife of 25 years. She and I have this understanding. I don't dress around the grand kids and all is fine with the world.

Would I wish to be diffrent? Yeah, I wish I was never born a Male.
After 54 years I feel it was a mistake on some part to not do something about it earlier in my life. I should never have married till I had the MTF surgery. Now for the rest of my life I'm going to dress, and be the best
Female I can. While still be a Man on the outside. If anything did ever happen to my wife. I'd spend every dime I have to get the surgery. No Problem.

I'm not gay or Bi. Very Hetro. But If I had to do it over again Woooooo
it would have been diffrent. I'd not a had to go to Viet Nam cause I'd a been in transition then.

Sorry Girls for rambling.

Haley

[Deborah]

If more people here quit rambling it would be a very boring forum.

Thanks for answering Haley and everyone.

[HaleyPink2000]

Amy I notice you and a few others like you are on here quite offten. Thats pretty cool you know!

I think many of us have some of the same thoughts and interests. as we seem to always be on the same threds together, LOL.

Thanks for this Thred hun again.

Haley