Searching for incriminating evidence.

[Jamsey]

My wife is coming back after being gone off and on for about a month on business and vacation.
I dressed more than I ever have in the past, and enjoyed it more too. Similar to many experiences I read about in other threads, the more I dressed the more I want too. My wife doesn't know I dress, and I know she would not approve.
So, I'm looking around the house to see that I did not leave anything around I shouldn't have.
No bras on a doorknob, no mascara on the vanity, no lipstick stained tissues in the trash cans, no panties on the ceiling fan, wait a moment, how did that get in there, no nighties in the sheets, you get the idea.
What else, based on your experiences, should I be looking for? Help me fight my sub-conscious desire to come out.

[AllieSF]

Just retrace your steps and try to remember what you have worn over this time period and make sure it is all there. if you used your wife's things, makeup, whatever, make sure it is back where she expects it to be. A good trick to use, is to have a defined procedure of how you dress, undress and put everything back in it's proper place. I keep certain regularly used items in bags, So I know what should be in each bag. I try to never leave anything out after I am done. I.e. everything goes back into hiding after each dressing moment. That way I am better conditioned to make sure nothing is left out. That being said, I have made and will continue to make those little forgetful mistakes. So far so good!

[Shananigans]

Don't forget to check the washer/dryer and hamper.

If I found some women's clothing laying around the house, my first thoughts wouldn't be, "He's a crossdresser."

[JaytoJillian]

I was busted by a lipstick-stained bottle of water placed in the recycling bin. empty ALL of the garbage/recycling. check for makeup smudges on light switches and other surfaces. Hair that is not yours or hers should be picked up. Web history is a must delete as well. Good luck, but think long and hard about coming clean. Take it from someone who is dealing with the hell that hiding and being found out has caused.

Cheers,



Jill

[gabe]

If you borrowed her stuff then make sure the adjustable straps are set back to the way they were. Good luck.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Been there and done that my Wife found an earring on
the floor next to the bed one time.

Orchid

[Jamsey]

just a note, I don't use any of my wife's clothes or make-up. We have completely different styles, plus, by not using any of her stuff I don't have to worry about that part being discovered.
Did find a couple wig hairs though. Must have missed them with the Hoover.

[renee k]

If she does the laundry, make sure there are no traces of makeup on your male clothes. You'd be surprised how much gets left on your skin after you wash it off. Just a thought.

Renee

[LizaPond]

Check and see if you had blotted your lips on a tissue or wipes make up and then trown it away. If you smoke look for butts with lip stick on them in the cans.
Liza

[Shananigans]

Jesus, are you people dating P.I.'s?

I would never just go rumbling through the trash or check to see if someone has been using my makeup.

[StaceyJane]

I know it's been mentioned but it was my computer that got me busted so check it again.

[PretzelGirl]

Wipe that smile off your face. That will certainly give you away. You were suppose to be miserable while she was gone.

[Nicole Erin]

Just retrace all steps several times, and don't try to make things look too clean unless clean is your nature...
I think just make sure all evidence is gone...
And make sure no one finds the bloody glove.

OH gyod one time when my wife was on vacation, I had wrote a story about some ex-girlfriend where I had greatly detailed some of my sexual fantasies...
I had left it in the dresser, didn't even think about it til one day at work, thank GOD she wasn't going thru anything cause I tell you, it was a story, like one of those things you think about but would never tell another human.

[brandie]

well if see loves you come clean,just be very slow dont over do it to stat
start with panties for a time, just to test the water and go from there
rember our holliday is just around the corner( halloween) that is the best time
to test the water

love
brandie

[Philipa Jane]

Shenanigans wrote
"Jesus, are you people dating P.I.'s?"

"I would never just go rumbling through the trash or check to see if someone has been using my makeup."

We should all remember that GGs have a built in b/s radar and have eyes like a hawk for when something is out of place in their domain.

The hardest part of dressing was the worry that I had not tidied up properly before I left the house. Which eventually led to my undoing and ultimately coming out to my wife.

Soooo much less stress when they know the items are yours and not some other woman's.
PJ

[ReineD]

I know you came here for help to hide your tracks, but I just want to say how sad this is on many levels.

Sad for you because you can't express yourself.

Sad for your wife because she'll sense that something was up, if not now then in the future, even if she senses your unhappiness over not being able to dress. But she won't know what it is. If anything, she'll think it's another woman.

Sad for you both because now you might look forward to your wife leaving again, and she'll sense that too.

And the rift widens.

So after a period of time with the two of you becoming more and more distant over all of the unspoken "stuff", you may finally reach a point where you need to tell her because you won't be able to suppress it any longer, or she'll find your ever growing stash. And then it will be even harder to negotiate, since the marriage will have become distant.

Maybe I'm extrapolating too far in your case, but it's not an unfamiliar scenario around here. Sorry, I didn't mean to burst your bubble, but I just had to say it.

I'm glad you got to express yourself so much this month though.

[Nichola]

Jesus, are you people dating P.I.'s?

I would never just go rumbling through the trash or check to see if someone has been using my makeup.

You brought a much needed smile to my face with this line!

But it does make you so paranoid when you have to dress in secret. One time I managed to explain away a blond wig hair as maybe its my sisters, even though she hadn't visited in months. The scariest time was when she spotted traces of glitter around my eyes. I just froze....then pathetically tried to explain it away as maybe its from a towel that she had used.

[Ashleythenewgirl]

I like the advice about the lipstick on the water bottle as I need to remember to wash my drinking glasses tonight!

[Chickhe]

hmmm... the check for lipstick on the glasses is good, but how are you going to explain the highlights in your hair, your shaved legs and hairless arms? Oh andwhy does the house smell like perfume? Watch out for stray long hairs on the bed... better vacuum everything. Not that I would lie if asked, but privacy is one thing and to protect it, I tend to put everything away as I go vs redecorating the house while everyone is away... one thing to consider is an early return or unexpected guest who might tell your wife about the bra sitting on the living room couch...for, example.

[Shananigans]

You brought a much needed smile to my face with this line!

But it does make you so paranoid when you have to dress in secret. One time I managed to explain away a blond wig hair as maybe its my sisters, even though she hadn't visited in months. The scariest time was when she spotted traces of glitter around my eyes. I just froze....then pathetically tried to explain it away as maybe its from a towel that she had used.

Uh oh. I would've been like, "Betch, I don't wear glitter."

Has anyone seen the movie Clueless? When Dionne finds part of a weave in the backseat of her boyfriend's car, and she says, "Speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain how this cheap K-Mart hair extension got into the backseat of your car."

This thread puts a whole new twist to that part of the movie.

(Yes, I can probably quote the entire Clueless movie. It was like a pre-req for my clique in high school. We had no lives, obviously).

Either way, I doubt most GG's are going to go looking for you wearing our clothes unless we Suspect you are wearing our clothes in the first place. Now, I might snoop around the place after I'd been gone a month and see what you've been up to. So, obviously don't have any foreign panties or makeup lying about. If I saw some blonde hairs laying around, I would not think you're wearing a wig. I'd probably ask what blonde bimbo has been all up in my house.

I mean, deleting computer history is a given. (I don't know why guys don't do this when they have stuff to hide...that's like the first thing we grill. Silly boys). Just go ahead and set your browser to delete history every time you exit out of it. Problem solved.

And, Reine, I mean, I agree it sucks that they're hiding this. But, after reading some of the GG's reactions on here. I can't really blame them. If you know with at least 90% certainty that your wife won't be accepting. What are ya gonna do?

[eluuzion]

hiya Jamsey

Do not touch or “borrow” ANY of her things.
Not clothes (they will “smell” like “you” afterwards, and you will “stretch” something)
Not shoes (same reasons as above)
And definitely not make-up, not even “once”. ( she will notice, plus it is unsanitary to “share” and can cause infections, particularly in the eyes).

Everybody has a “routine”, down to the exact position of the eyeliner pencil, etc. Just close your eyes and try to picture your bathroom or closet. You can probably recall the exact location of damn near everything. So could she.

As already noted, have a system where you do not have the opportunity to “scatter” things around. Everything you use immediately goes back to a single location, such as the bed or dresser top. If you are smart, you will count the total number of things you have “taken out”. When you are finished, count them again. This technique also allows quick “clean-up” if a “fire-drill” occurs. Don’t carry anything from that “base” location that you could “set down” someplace. (If you are not wearing it, leave it.) Having a trashcan next to that area is a must. Everything is thrown in there, not other trash cans.

Do not have more than one “stash” location. It increases the chances of mix-ups and misplacing things. Never hide anything at “eye level”. If possible use a different room (than your bedroom) and bathroom for crossdressing activities.

Walking on carpets in heels leaves indentations similar to wearing golf shoes in the house. Brushes, picks, etc always build up wig hair. Wig hairs fall out and stick to furniture, carpets and clothing. (so does make-up).

You can purchase a “driveway alert” for under $20. (wireless, motion activated battery powered transmitter goes “outside” and receiver/audio alert unit goes inside.) It will alert you to any unexpected surprise visits home that people seem to do from time to time.

There is a saying that “if you need to employ drug tests to know if somebody has a drug problem…you are not a good manager.” Partners develop a “sixth sense” with each other. You can “feel” when something is weird about your SO, too.

The first rule of gathering “evidence” of your partner’s deception or lies…is to say “nothing” so you can continue to observe. These days, even the most naïve’ people know how to install a keylogger or hidden camera to collect information when they are not home.

Bottom line is to just think about the quality of life you and your SO are living. (consciously or not). It really makes no sense for either party to be living their lives that way. (Physically or mentally). Life is too short.

But then, you already knew that, didn’t you…

[Pipi]

Watch your body language.

After I dressed a few days in a row during a vacation I was surprised how feminine my gestures where when I looked into the mirror of the aircraft head on my trip home. I even noticed that my walk had changed. I actually had to pay attention to walk like a man again!

Took me a day or two to get the girl out of my bones....

[erickka]

Just be like santa... Make a list and check it twice. I do the same thing when my wife will be coming home from a trip, and all has worked well so far.

[sonna]

if you bought anything burn or throw away the receipts. (that got me busted once)

[NicoleScott]

I'm sure Jamsey often contemplates coming out to her. But in consideration of all the pros, cons, benefits, drawbacks, rewards, and costs, has chosen not to at this time. How many times have we read "I told her, and she's divorcing me" posts? Some relationships require absolute sharing of every thought, and others allow ample room for privacy. Indeed, some relationships thrive on generous amount of physical and emotional separation. "Don't Ask Don't Tell" works for some. My first marriage ended when I told her.

Anyway, here are some things to consider:
I use fake nails and adhesive nail tabs. I made sure I counted ALL TEN tab backings and they were disposed of properly.

Check trash cans for anything that can get you busted. Change the can liners just to make sure.

Check the dryer lint filter for wig hairs and possible incriminating lint.

Check the vacuum cleaner. Specifically, the dirt container or bag AND the brushes, where wig hairs can be wrapped around.

Get your own stuff: clothes, makeup, and makeup removal products.

Account for everything.