Yes, I'm way too familiar with the post-crossdressing checklist
to make sure no "evidence" has been mistakenly left out.
My problem is that I check, re-check, then re-re check and
still think I left out something that could be found.
This, unfortunately, is one of the prices I must pay for my situation.
It's not ideal nor is it what I wish it would be.
Hoping for better times and less checking in the future!
I try to have a routine. Always put this here and that there so when it is time to clean, you know where to look. Like if you put your bra on a door knob, always use the same one. If you follow your own rules, you will have a better chance of covering your tracks.
SheriM
Like Shananigans said, if your wife finds stuff that ain't hers, her first thought will be that you had an afair. (tell me which scene is worse, you had an affiar, or you are a cd?) I know,, I've been htere, done that with my ex.... I was forced to come out to her, and after that we had sort of a don't ask don't tell arrangement. If she found somthing, she'd just say, "Umm I think you forgot to put somthing away"
If you come out to her, even if she wants this side of you kept out of her sight, then there won't be a problem....
Nicole Scott mentioned this already, but I have this problem with my press-on nails. I usually get done dressing and realize I only have nine nails on. And since I was all over the house, where could that one be?
Now, it really doesn't matter because my wife has known for over 10 years now, but she does make a little fuss when she finds something. "You have to be more careful," she warns me. Yeah, like someone else is going to be cleaning underneath our bed and find a nail and think that it belongs to me.
Well, that's my two cents.
Sherrie Lynn Pall
Sometimes I make sense and that frightens me.
Please don't let me be the last post on this thread
But it's a question of what came first, the chicken or the egg. It's harder for a GG to be open minded when she has years worth of hurt built up, which then turns into resentments, thinking that her husband doesn't love her as much as before (if she perceives the distance, like he can't wait for her to leave, he's mad or depressed all the time, he's sketchy about what he does when she's not there, or maybe she did find the blonde hair or an earring). So then the GG is not only angry about being lied to (which again tells her he didn't trust her and this is another breach in the couple's emotional intimacy), but she now feels that her husband's femme self is competition for his affection and loyalty. The wife feels that the husband prefers to be his femme self over being with her, based on years of sensing that he would have rather been elsewhere.Originally Posted by Shananigans
And on GG's general level of acceptance, we do get threads here from CDs who have told their wives with disastrous result and the threads get a lot of attention. But do we know what other issues are in their marriages, issues like the ones above? Or what do we know about their relationship skills in general and the level of trust and commitment between them?
But we also have hundreds of CDs whose wives know. They may have varying levels of acceptance, but they know and they're still married. There've been a few threads, pages and pages, of members here saying they are in happy marriages and their wives accept. Those threads just don't get as much attention as the sadder stories.
Reine
This is great advice. However, if you are hiding from a person with a suspicious mind, they will see the empty history and think you are up to something. (I would!) They may ask you about it. You could explain that clearing the history is protecting against hackers.
Or, you can use the private browsing feature that is in Internet Explorer and Firefox and only when you are visiting sites like this. That way your history will not be empty and won't contain anything that will bust you.
Very nicely said and so true.I know you came here for help to hide your tracks, but I just want to say how sad this is on many levels.
Sad for you because you can't express yourself.
Sad for your wife because she'll sense that something was up, if not now then in the future, even if she senses your unhappiness over not being able to dress. But she won't know what it is. If anything, she'll think it's another woman.
Sad for you both because now you might look forward to your wife leaving again, and she'll sense that too.
And the rift widens.
So after a period of time with the two of you becoming more and more distant over all of the unspoken "stuff", you may finally reach a point where you need to tell her because you won't be able to suppress it any longer, or she'll find your ever growing stash. And then it will be even harder to negotiate, since the marriage will have become distant.
Maybe I'm extrapolating too far in your case, but it's not an unfamiliar scenario around here. Sorry, I didn't mean to burst your bubble, but I just had to say it.
I'm glad you got to express yourself so much this month though.
Dana Ryan
Sounds like you were busy while she was away. To bad you could not just tell her before she finds out anyway. When wives find out on their own there is a huge problem of lying and being dishonest that falls on you. My wife still calls me a lier. Good luck. That said, you will have to check your body movements, tv programs and how you walk around her for awhile. I always get a bit more fem when I am away and dress more.
Charlie
I also suggest private browsing. I use Google Chrome and it works great. That means you will have some history. Angel.
Check those couch cushions again and rip those bed sheets off, you will be amazed what creeps down to the foot of the bed...
I was thinking the same thing. Reading all the responses just compounded that sadness. Not that anyone said anything wrong here, just had me feeling so sad for the people chained up in the closet of secrecy. It's like we're marked children of a lesser god, and have to take extreme precautions lest we are discovered. At the risk of invoking Godwin's law, it makes me think of Ann Frank, and all she endured.
I also note that one of the replies here noted the hell that was wrought by not coming out and being discovered. Plus, a number of replies noting being discovered by not being careful enough. There's another thread going on right now (Georgi) of a hell that was wrought by telling. I feel such despair in this; it's like no matter what happens, being a CDer is going to create hell.
And people think this is a choice?
Me too! Must have been WONDerful!I'm glad you got to express yourself so much this month though.
How about, honey I'm a crossdresser? Don't do what I did and wait 32 years to tell your SO/wife. It's been a LOT better since she knows, plus no more dragging my girl things from the crawl space. YEA!
Although there is no certain way to know how the SO will react, much of what you wrote has a very true ring to it. Well said.I know you came here for help to hide your tracks, but I just want to say how sad this is on many levels.
Sad for you because you can't express yourself.
Sad for your wife because she'll sense that something was up, if not now then in the future, even if she senses your unhappiness over not being able to dress. But she won't know what it is. If anything, she'll think it's another woman.
Sad for you both because now you might look forward to your wife leaving again, and she'll sense that too.
And the rift widens.
So after a period of time with the two of you becoming more and more distant over all of the unspoken "stuff", you may finally reach a point where you need to tell her because you won't be able to suppress it any longer, or she'll find your ever growing stash. And then it will be even harder to negotiate, since the marriage will have become distant.
Maybe I'm extrapolating too far in your case, but it's not an unfamiliar scenario around here. Sorry, I didn't mean to burst your bubble, but I just had to say it.
I'm glad you got to express yourself so much this month though.
This would be the biggest reason I would like to come out to my wife. I am paranoid that sometime she will find my stash or I will carelessly leave something behind--it's happened, but I was fortunate that she didn't discover it before I did. It would not be easy for me to explain, because I am fearful that she would not be accepting of my cding, or even more, I am more fearful that she would reject me.
Have you found your conscience or your self-respect yet?
It is very sad that so many men can not be honest with the women they married.
It is also very sad that so many women go ballistic when they find their partner is a crossdresser.
There is a saying about reaping what you sow.
Jenny
All I can say is - read Reine's post. Your cd-ing is most likely NOT going away, and she WILL find out. As hard as it will be, bring it up and discuss it on your terms, not under the cloud of dishonesty and deception. I can share with you the effects of 21 hrs of dishonesty in a marriage (I told my wife before we were married, but went underground thereafter, until recently)
If only I had the insight,or even the common sense to have a checklist,maybe I wouldn't have beeb caught out so many times LOL,my biggest faux pas was leaving Mascara traces or having "Panda Eyes".
It's so great that nowadays I don't have to worry about such things
We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire
========================================
A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a roseFacebook:Sophie Johnson
Seconded.I know you came here for help to hide your tracks, but I just want to say how sad this is on many levels.
Sad for you because you can't express yourself.
Sad for your wife because she'll sense that something was up, if not now then in the future, even if she senses your unhappiness over not being able to dress. But she won't know what it is. If anything, she'll think it's another woman.
Sad for you both because now you might look forward to your wife leaving again, and she'll sense that too.
And the rift widens.
So after a period of time with the two of you becoming more and more distant over all of the unspoken "stuff", you may finally reach a point where you need to tell her because you won't be able to suppress it any longer, or she'll find your ever growing stash. And then it will be even harder to negotiate, since the marriage will have become distant.
Maybe I'm extrapolating too far in your case, but it's not an unfamiliar scenario around here. Sorry, I didn't mean to burst your bubble, but I just had to say it.
I'm glad you got to express yourself so much this month though.
So, your wife found out and ended up being cool with it?
Or, was she not cool with it and you told her to go get lost?
Either way, win-win situation.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Sorry should have clarified.My first wife Detested my dressing,somehow we lasted 10 years before splitting
Am now in 2nd marriage and my wife knew I dressed from the beginning,Much better being upfront about it,she is a wonderful wife and very Supportive of my Dressing
Sophie xx
We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire
========================================
A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a rose
And watch for the sequins on the floorboard of your pickup truck, (I missed that.) Check for any tracce of glitter coming off a formal dress and landing on the carpet. Whoops. Long hairs on a hairbrush or bathroom carpet. Makeup on the collar of your t-shirts. Tiny residue of nail polish or glue on your fingers and toes. Clear your camera memory and spare memory chips. Hide those 400 pic cds, also thumb drives. Also clear your cell phone pics. And the numbers or your crossdressing buddies. And caller ID or history from Fredricks of Hollywood. And also the answering machine. for instance mine once said, "Your garment is ready for pickup at the JCPenny Catalog Desk."!!
all the people i have always loved, I have loved for who they are as a GG with a TV boy in my life whom i adore it breaks my heart you have to go threw all the paranoia and anxiety of getting caught and this goes for every post's like this
some one who loves you should love YOU not just the parts of you that you let them see
im sorry honey some day maybe shell hang your panties from the fan
"if i find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world."
-C.S Lewis
My down fall in the past had been fake finger nails, the tiny little ones that can't be used seem to slip away at times, also wig hair in the brushes or even on the back of computer chairs have a issue.
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