How long did it take for you to fully accept yourself ?

[PretzelGirl]

If you mean acceptance in that I didn't struggle with who I was, then I never had a problem. I tried on some stuff as a teen and don't recall wondering about who I was. It was a little effort and then it went away. I started again in my early forties and still didn't have a problem with myself.

Now if you mean acceptance like "Hello World! Here I am!". Nah. Transitioned isn't in my plans at the time and I don't want to blast through everything. I will go out and have my fun, but that is all for now.

[Jaydee]

For me it is still a work in progress, at age 56. As a teen, I was very confused. I felt guilt and shame but couldn't stop. I thought it went away after I married, but it came back after 10 years. Some where in my late 30s, I just came to accept that I wasn't hurting anyone, and it wouldn't go away, but the guilt and fear of being found out persisted. I found this site about 3 years ago. I started realizing that I wasn't alone. Within the last year I came out to my wife. While she doesn't really accept it she tolerates it when she isn't around. About 10 months ago, I saw a therapist. He didn't have any answers either, but he helped me on the road to acceptance. I am who I am, I can't change it, so learn to live with it. It gets easier everyday.

Good luck to those who haven't traveled this far on their way to acceptance the road is bumpy, but worth the trip.

Jaydee

[Barbara Dugan]

I am 41 and I am just learning to accept and understand myself ...If I hadn't started to dress I would be probably on the limbo I spent most of my life

[NathalieX66]

I am 44.
10 years ago I was living in Massachusetts, and every wednesday at the Rainbow Lounge along the Merrimac River in Haverhill was trans night. I lived 2 miles away.

Guess what?? I never went.
I was in total denial and shame. Back then, I was too into the corproate image thing. Too many co-workers lived in the area, some were gay, and I did not want to be outed as a crossdresser at work.

Never again.

[patricia 402]

well patricia just turned the dreaded 50 and i have been who i am scince i was 7 and it still dependes on what day you ask me on how i feel but like all of us we are always still learning.and trying to fit in and be comfortable.with who we are.

[Nicole Erin]

I think one key to accepting yourself as a TG is when you can finally deal with your limitations. If you are a non-passing one, once you finally realise that passing is futile and so you set your goal to "acceptance". Even that one can be a far reach sometimes but it is easier to fool yourself into thinking people are accepting.

For me, I finally was able to accept myself recently when I realised I just don't have anything else to lose on count of being TG. Well sure I could still lose my health or life to someone truely bigoted but that is why I am careful everywhere and try to avoid hostile areas.

So this key to self-acceptance is -
realise you are probably never going to pass well enough to really live the part at any decent level. People might think at a glance but much more personal than that, nope.
If you have no spouse, no career, money, assets, friends, youth is slipping away, etc like my life, then you realise your lifestyle is pretty much paid for, might as well enjoy it. You have nothing else to lose anyways, why not masquerade in the gender you sorely long to be?

Suckilty enough, in most of life by the time you realise what great potential there is, you also realise the ship has sailed. It is like thru youth everyone says you are too young to do what you want and later you are too old. Like supposedly the ideal time to transition is before 18, well who the hell has the support and means as a teenager to do ANYthing they want?

[charlie]

After a life of dressing I finally just accepted who and what I am about 2 years ago. I'm 60 now, so that is a lot of denial and feeling strange about my actions.

[AllieSF]

In one way, I have had it easy since I am a very late starter and never had to deal with growing up with all this, the ignorance of others, my own ignorance, lack of the internet, et al. Being mature also gives us "Oldies and Goldies" the opportunity of avoiding a lot of the related issues. Plus, after "being there and doing that" for many years, it is sometimes easier for us to put our own priorities in order and better realize that we are born to die, so we should do as much as possible and be as happy as we can in between those two life points. So far I have no serious issues with this new life and actually love myself more (probably because I look so much better when dressed!).

[Danni Bear]

14 but then again it is still a work in progress.

[Newbridget]

I'm new to CDing but have been quick to accept myself en femme. I enjoy the discoveries I make about myself and the new and wonderful feelings that come over me as I slip into thigh highs and 5 inch heels. And I really enjoy dressing with and sharing the company of other CDs.

[TG_Nicole]

I'll let ya know when i find out. But i'm getting there.

[lori m crawford]

i onces thout than i fond the right lady an i thought i did but it did not happen so for me i am a long semes like i cant not find a women that likes me for me

[brit_cd]

I am 34 now. I started dressing at about 11 or so. I finally quit purging all my pics and clothes about 3 or 4 years ago. So i think at about age 30 or so i could look in a mirror and like myself dressed. Nobody besides friends online know i dress. Which of only 1 knows my real identity. We have become pretty good friends online and hope to meet in person sometime. So far sh( a cd also) is the only one who knows both sides of me.
The internet really helped since i have found so many others like me. And learned alot about dressing.
I think alot about telling my wife but do not want to risk losing her over it. So for now i keep it as a secret.

[Leyna]

Still waiting...

[DeeDeeB]

Knew at 5, accepted it at 55. I guess that's 50 years.

Dee

[Cassandra Lynn]

Not counting the frist 6 yrs of life, when i first did it, and not counting the past yr of acceptance, call it 40 yrs.
I like Toni Lynn spent many of my years in denial of CDing drunk, in fact it was after 2 days of detox and another 14 in treatment (22 total) that i was lying in bed and thinking about who and what i am. It happened right then, and the feelings were very strong.
Still struggling too much financially for full dressing and going out like i want, but it'll happen soon enough.
The way i look at it, i've spent most of my life fighting who i am, can't expect it all to happen overnight.
The important part is that i accept myself as TG, and it honestly feels great!
mj (Cassie)

[Charleen]

Still a work in progress. I lived 55 years in guilt and shame due to ignorance. This site opened my eyes and started the internal healing. I guess I'm at about 90% accepting at this point. I'm going to try going on vacation for 4 days enfemme the whole time.

[BiancaEstrella]

Put on my first pair of heels when I was 9. Actively did things (contact sports, military, briefly attended all-male college) to try to re-enhance my masculinity. Bought my first pair of heels when I was 19. At 24, I decided to embrace the fact that I like women's clothing. So I guess you could say it took 15 years.

[Cherie]

Took me a lot of years and heartbreak to finally realise who i am. Tried every thing to stop cding but thanks to a gg she has made me comfortable with who i am. Took me about 30 years for Cherie to emerge she is here to stay .My family allways came first now its Cheries turn.

[iloveps]

Its taken me about 3 or 4 years. Now i feel completely at ease with myself, although i am not completely at ease about how other people will feel about me. but i know that i am determined to enjoy this part of my life as much as i can.

[Cherie]

The older we get the easier it gets accepting but our looks are to old to make it look good

[suchacutie]

The first moment I ever dressed was for my wife, and after an initial intake of breath from her and telling how terrific my legs were she said, "We need to buy you a dress".

The shock wore off in about 3 seconds and that's all the doubt there was..

Tina was born!

[noeleena]

Hi,

Accepting of my self age 10 /11 yet saw details that did not add up as it was , never saw my self as a boy or girl ,tho like how girls looked,
as to dressing once in front of about 80 / 90 people & my mum , i forgot about that make up the whole works age 11 / 12 . then just live life as i was brought up till 12 years ago & it all changed well did it , not really it was im allowed to express my self as to who i am & have done & grown in a way that could not happen before, & for people they see me in a different way & as a woman. tho ....im ....still seeing my self as i did 53 years ago . yes iv changed lots, just my acceptance is the same.

...noeleena...

[KarenEdwards]

Good question and some interesting replies. Personally, I never "beat myself up" about being a crossdresser and somehow accepted it from the beginning as just being part of who I am. I did spend a lot of time researching and trying to understand it but that was more an intellectual exercise which had little to do with self-acceptance.

I've always been pretty comfortable in my own skin regardless of the clothing covering that skin, if that makes any sense.

[Karan]

not yet