What would be your best match for a LTR ?

[Nadia-Maria]

That's not obvious to me that a standard GG is the best match for any "straight" MTF CD, while most RCDs I know are (or have been) married and have children.

An option often raised is that another TGirl might be the best match in a long term relationship (LTR). What do you think about this ?

What would be your (theoretical) best match, considering your own sexual preferences, and overlooking the fact you may already be committed in another LTR at the moment ?

My opinion about the questions above is you must - as a rule - find a very good complementarity in your partner, especially as far as sexuality is concerned.

A satisfying sexuality is in fact only part of any successful relationship, and what matters the most is choosing the right partner (Mr or Ms Right), however a very successful relationship requires to be based on excellent sexual relations.

If you are a gay RCD, I presume your best match would be a gay partner, or possibly any kind of male admirer.

If you are a bi RCD, I guess another TGirl (especially if bi themselves) might be the best match.

If you are a really 'straight' RCD - what is not so common as previously thought because many self-assessed 'straight' RCDs might be denying bi tendancies - I guess the best match would be a GG ! However that GG must be either bi or at least having FTM tendancies. Possibly a lesbian could do it too (?). Yet a 'straight' FTM TG might be a great match ...

Just curious about what you think about all this.

[ClaudiaDawn]

What is a RCD?

[Nadia-Maria]

RCD = regular crossdresser, someone who crossdresses more than occasionally.

[Danni Bear]

Nadia,
i can't and won't speak for my sisters on here. They are well able to speak their own minds.

I'm a mtf tg.totally hetro,mens bodies make me ill with the exception of my hubbies. He is a ftm tg. We were married in 1969,long before the cd/tg/ts,lesbian,gay dispute came about. It's all labels.Stereotypes

Who cares about labels,they are arbitary.People are who they are. Love them for them, don't examine them. If you love them. accept them,warts and all. You only get to live this life once. Make all of it grand and happy.

Danni

[Nadia-Maria]

I'm a mtf tg.totally hetro,(...). He is a ftm tg.
(...)
Who cares about labels,they are arbitary.

If you don't care about labels, why do you use them ?

Without any label that's very difficult to quickly provide precise information to someone you are not well acquainted with.

I may tell you "I like sports and mountains very much and I enjoyed my job too". Using labels this may become : " I am a solo alpinist and a retired engineer too".

That's trivial to complain about labels. That's better to use accurate definitions and to state to others which they are.

[Joanne f]

I think you may find it is one of those big secret things even bigger than being a CD and it would end up more like wanting to be in a straight marriage/relationship and have a "bi friend".
A bit like CDing wanting the best of both worlds

[noeleena]

Hi.
Interesting .

I will only say from my background & yes in some respects ill contridict my self because of the way i am.
i still would only marry a female / woman because i would still wont / need to have our own children. as we have done. Jos & i .
I know i would have married an other life long friend iv known 39 years if i had not married Jos 37 years ago. some times we ourselfs dont know the reason behind what we do or have done i can look back over 63 years ,

as im not a dresser or transvestite or transsexual it would not have any bearing on my life ,.because i was born both male & female & in how i think so for me there were things wired in my brain that have not changed in all of my life . so no detail going on there. or surprises im not going down the road of what ...IF.s ..
Oh for got , h r t really a non event brain wise any way . & lack of t .

So really i know im closer to women in how they think im closer in how i relate to them & i know some even here & on other forums im on wont agree im a woman from birth just not a full one or from the male side im a male & just not a full one ether so if you like , stuck in the middle. & yes i have fun being there as im,, now what word ,,really different . & people will wonder what am i . oh its cool.

To me you love a person for ...WHO...they are not what or not they are. i love Jos ,our sons, & daughter, & our grandkids & family, after that my or our friends who are close to us & do not judge me for being different.


Ill deal with who i am & really im happy being the way i am .

...noeleena...

[t-girlxsophie]

As a straight,regular Crossdresser,I need not go into great detail.I have my Ideal match,my Wife (GG) now maybe there is others that you could say are more suited I really don't know,but I have all I need from my relationship and that is the bottom line for me,I need know no more

[sissystephanie]

I am a totally regular CD, who is also totally male!! I was married for almost 50 years to a very supportive GG. Cancer took her 5 years ago. Now I have a supportive lady friend (GG). She is married so it will not go any further, but she does support my CD'ing. My life is fine the way it is!

[Barbara Dugan]

I am a Gay RCD ( well my therapist dont' totally agree with me on that)and usually I get more postive responses from Bi RCD but the true is that even feels good being considered...I dont' have any atraction to any GG or any other RCD. So I guess my best match will be a gay partner, or possibly any kind of male admirer but those are kind of hard to find

[Tasha McIntyre]

Very simple. I'm 100% hetero part time CDer, so my best match would be a 100% hetero GG who is OK with a CDing partner.

If she was a gorgeous 6ft tall blonde and athletic, that would be a bonus

[Toni_Lynn]

For me it has turned out to be my wife .. she is kind and loving, and needs to be loved in the same way that I too need to be loved. She has this wonderful way to see who I am as a person, no matter what I am wearing. I think that is why we clicked and why she accepted my CDing.

At one time I thought that ideal partner would be an FTM CDer. In some ways, that has come true, because I told my wife about it and we have fun wear she wears guys undies and such. But before I met my wife (and I shall quote heavily from another thread I wrote...)...Well, seeing as I wanted to meet a GG who was a CDer like me, I decided to cast my hopes and wishes and dreams to the fates. I created a girl named Amy who was an FTM CDer. The first story was a bit, naughty. It was written solely for sexual content. The second, though, was much more serious and had almost no sexual content at all. In a sense, I came to love my character. Its called The Way the Croissant Crumbles

http://www.fictionmania.tv/stories/r...73508371651236

I make my first appearance in the story here. Many of the events in Amy's life happened in mine.

In part 3, There's More To Love Than Boy Meets Girl, Amy and I meet. My part is told in third person. Again, not much in the way of anything naughty.

http://www.fictionmania.tv/stories/r...62957390461416

Then we get to part 4, Portrait of a Leg-End. This part was written within a month of meeting my wife. It was inspired by my visit to the places mentioned. When I went to the one place in the story, I actually did pray that the woman I had just met would be my real life Amy - and that is how it ended up for real!

http://www.fictionmania.tv/stories/r...52358408839208

I have considered writing two more parts -- one being a trip to Toronto, the other being our wedding. But -- I've been too busy enjoying the real thing!

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[HollyStorm]

Obviously there isn't a simple answer to this question so I can speak only for myself.

Its complicated for me. In a lot of ways I'm a straight male who is most romantically attracted to females. At the same time though, I have a strong desire to be treated like a female, especially in the bedroom and its difficult to find gg's who are willing to indulge this side of my persona.

I've had several very enjoyable, loving, but ultimately failed relationships with full-time mtf transexuals. I find most full-time ts girls to be even more feminine and beautiful than their genetic counterparts, and most can certainly be understanding of my Hollyness lol.

I've considered dating men, I think it could be an enjoyable sexual experience, but ultimately I can't develop feelings romantically towards a man. I'm just not interested in promiscuous casual sex at this point in my life.

Ultimately, I'd like to settle down with a MTF Transexual, a very naturally fem CD or perhaps a very tall bi gg. I consider myself queer, and I love inner city queer culture in general. I just wouldn't settle for having some vanilla life in the burbs where I have a wife that merely tolerates my fem side. Holly needs to be invited to the party.

[Alberta_Pat]

I too, am a straight male who dresses for comfort and enjoyment.

My Wife has lived both sides of the sexual spectrum, but only as a female.

While we are not completely sexually compatable, we have found our way together.

WE can both appreciate beauty in the "female" presentation. We can both appreciate the attractiveness of Gender Women and Men and discuss what we find appealing.

WE both "could" enter into a physical relationship with another person, but WE both chose not to.

I am honestly not attracted to any one else.

But back to the original question; I have had a couple of encounters with men, but have found it less than appealing. Should circumstances require, I would only entertain a relationship with a Woman who was compatable with me in ALL aspects.

[gemsay32]

This thread opened my mind a bit to the possibility of more diverse relationships than MTF RCD <-> FTM RCD.

As for me, I feel like i'm halfway to homosexuality, but never quite made it. Since I have 2 homosexual siblings, that seems reasonable to me (the more you have, the more likely you'll be homosexual too). I don't feel my feminine side is as strong as the one in MTF RCD's. I'm not sure where I fit, but maybe a female that's halfway to being a lesbian is close to the ideal. She might have some tendencies simiilar to FTM RCD, but she wouldn't have the strong interest in general male things (just sexual for her). I would think that lesbians have a lot in common with MTF RCD and gays with FTM RCD.

FTM RCD might psychologically be like gays (males). So I might look at a gay's psychology as similar to a females, but I could never get around the fact that I'm attracted to female bodies (not bi). So a relationship with a gay is unlikely.

There's also the issue of why aren't MTF RCD's gay? Because there's a spectrum that looks like this: Male -> Stunted Male (me) -> MTF RCD -> Bi? -> Gay Male. It's a psychological gradiant. It's not black/white. It's the black, grays and whites.

The reality is I really don't know for sure.

[gemsay32]

Obviously there isn't a simple answer to this question so I can speak only for myself.

Its complicated for me. In a lot of ways I'm a straight male who is most romantically attracted to females. At the same time though, I have a strong desire to be treated like a female, especially in the bedroom and its difficult to find gg's who are willing to indulge this side of my persona.

I've had several very enjoyable, loving, but ultimately failed relationships with full-time mtf transexuals. I find most full-time ts girls to be even more feminine and beautiful than their genetic counterparts, and most can certainly be understanding of my Hollyness lol.

I've considered dating men, I think it could be an enjoyable sexual experience, but ultimately I can't develop feelings romantically towards a man. I'm just not interested in promiscuous casual sex at this point in my life.

Ultimately, I'd like to settle down with a MTF Transexual, a very naturally fem CD or perhaps a very tall bi gg. I consider myself queer, and I love inner city queer culture in general. I just wouldn't settle for having some vanilla life in the burbs where I have a wife that merely tolerates my fem side. Holly needs to be invited to the party.

That made me laugh. You sound so determined

If a lesbian could get around you not naturally being female, who knows? There're Bi's out there. I don't think everything has to fit into our simple view of this world. Maybe we should another gender named Queer (no offense intended!).

[sometimes_miss]

It of course depends on your inherent sexuality. I find males repulsive, disrespectful, and untrustworthy. The scent of a male locker room makes me nauseous. So, despite my wanting to have the female role in a relationship, there is no hope for any male wanting to be my mate.

[suchacutie]

My ideal LTR is with a completely heterosexual GG who supports and enjoys both of my gendered selves, Tina as a girlfriend, and him as a "traditional" husband.

Exquisitely, that is the relationship I have.



tina

[kimdl93]

wow there are a lot of options. I would put myself in the bi category...and would definately consider a relationship with a MTF CD or a GG. I also think that bi GGs have the potential to be highly compatible partners for CDers...bi or straight. My wife, for example

[maya1love]

Hello. As a gay male cd, my ideal relationship would be with a masculine non-scene gay guy who likes feminine guys who dress. I know he's out there and I'm trying to find my baby!

[eluuzion]

hiya Nadia,

Good questions are always tough to answer… but I’ll give it a shot…

One thing that I have learned in life is that I could have avoided a lot of the emotional and financial upheaval of relationships, if I would have really understood that ageless warning we all hear from our parents during childhood…”Never play with “matches”…

I have not “dated” in years, probably to a great degree, because I have not resolved that question…which would certainly result in pressing this button…
http://www.dramabutton.com

I can’t describe who my ideal partner might be if I ever connect with one…

But I CAN tell you about a person in my past, after reflection years later, that I now believe would have been my ideal “match”.

I met her (GG) as a student of mine when I was a martial arts instructor in the Midwest. She was a natural artist in career and daily life. Curious, creative, open, energetic and genuinely filled with empathy and interest in everybody and everything around her. I convinced her to move to Colorado with me and start an art glass studio.

Our relationship became intimate, but “open”. She was “bi-sexual” with the emphasis on lesbian. I was totally “straight”, with only GG experiences and I had no CD interests at that time. Our relationship was shared to great degree with her exploring intimacies with her lesbian friends (which were my friends too). We frequently discussed gay, lesbian, CD and other types of lifestyles and sexual interests. She would have been an ideal match and would have totally supported the CD interests that I now have.

The business took off and we ended up with a large art glass lamp manufacturing company. If you live in the Midwest/East, you might own one of our shades, lol… Anyway, business got too big, she missed the MidWest and she left everything here behind. I think she is in Key West with a female partner now.

So, my answer is….Bi GG artist with preference for lesbian women open to CD.

Oh, and a PhD in gender psychotherapy would probably be a good thing for her to have, too….

HaveFun/BeHappy,

[tricia_uktv]

Isn't this simple? Its surely somebody you love, whatever shape, sex, colour or creed. Now I'm an RCD though my horizons have expanded,

Hugs,

[Ingrid1999]

My ideal would be an agressive/dominant GG. Without the bsdm stuff.

Most of my LTRs have been with GGs with bi tendencies, unfortunatly they have not been self secure and since I wasnt either, things never came together. Maybe a factor of youth.

I basically want to surrender or meet the woman half way, but I really am not into being a "top". Its fun sometimes, but I hate it when thats supposed to be my role. But men just dont do it for me, eventhough I have tried.

My heart beats and my breath gets short for that tomboy, or warrior goddesss, who grabs me by the hand and takes me away.

[docrobbysherry]

Most of us desire an LTR, so many of us end up married. Often to suit our partner and/or society! Even gays can get married now!

Unfortunately, many of us find that staying with ONE partner our entire lives may NOT be realistic! The divorce rate is what? Over 50% now? And many couples stay together even tho their "happy partnership" years have long passed.

Maybe it would more realistic for us to seek LTR "partners", rather than only one partner? Maybe LTR relationships would be healthier and last longer if partners stayed together because they WANTED to, not because they felt compelled to!
And, partners could separate for a time and return to each other as their needs and desires dictate.

I think this probably applies to everyone in our society. But may apply to CD/TG/TS/Gay/Bi even MORE! Because we have all the issues with our partners everyone else does, PLUS possibly a few extra ones!

That being said, I'm STILL looking for a GG for an LTR. Even tho I'm old, divorced, and plan to continue dressing!

Talk about someone being "unrealistic"!? Yeah, ME!!

[Vickie_CDTV]

A TV/TS relationship (MTF CD with post-op MTF TS) might sound like a good situation, but bear in mind some of the same issues that come up with a TV/GG relationship may come up in this situation as well.

Issues like risk of exposure (especially problematic if the TS is stealth), dressing in the bedroom, how much time/energy is spent on the dressing, do they go out together with him dressed, she may not want to be seen as a lesbian etc.


As an aside, "RCD" (or "RTV" more commonly) is an acronym that has been used/still is used in the UK, not just made up here.