i was wondering what made you decide you wanted to be male ?
i was wondering what made you decide you wanted to be male ?
"A toy has no gender and no idea of whether a girl or boy is playing with it."
"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: 'Hello. Can't work today, still queer.'"
Nothing made me decide to want to be anything. I suppressed it horribly for almost twenty years until I couldn't run away from it anymore. Since then, I continue to try to come to terms with it. It's male or death; and I've always been a bit of a coward for the latter. Trying to stay in-between has made my struggles worse and more confusing.
Despite all the pain it's caused me, I still try to hold the hope that I've finally found the answer to why I haven't been happy all these years. To finally progress and be treated the way I should be treated might turn me around with a bit of effort.
Current theme song: I Think I Love You
Milhouse Van Houten + Dale Gribble + My Chemical Romance + Lars Lindstrom + Tweek = :Ze:
i have been feel like am male for a long time but never done anything about it until now
when i was young i wasn't allowed to express my male side of myself my mum would make me wear dresses and wouldn't let me play with boys toys like i wanted to
it has always been bubbling under the surface for a while
what made me decide to become male is the fact am unconformable in a womens body i hate the fact that i have boobs my body feels as if it is a strange thing that i have no control over
"A toy has no gender and no idea of whether a girl or boy is playing with it."
"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: 'Hello. Can't work today, still queer.'"
That's exactly it for me.Originally Posted by Angel21
Logistically speaking, I have absolutely no reason not to be female. My mother has always been very tolerant of my boyish behaviors, and I've grown up with the firm belief that it's perfectly acceptable for girls to be as "unfeminine" as they want. So I could just be a masculine woman, no problems.
Except that my brain just isn't compatible. When I looked in the mirror and tried to see myself as a girl, I just saw some ugly beast, or a guy in drag. When I went out dressed as a girl, I felt naked and insecure. When people talked about "(my birth name)" and how "she" was doing this and "she" was going to do that, it felt strange, like they were talking about some other person whom I was pretending to be.
So after thinking about it extensively, and taking one last go at actually being a girl, I decided to hang it all and be a boy. And I'm a lot happier for it.
What made me want to become male was the knowledge that it's possible, knowing that there are plenty of other guys out there who relate and have been where I am and survived, even thrived, gives me comfort and strength to face the reality of who I am.
I look at my future and there's only one path that leads to happiness, so it's a no-brainer.
If I was 60 it would still be the same, any life where I don't transition is a life where I'm split in two and existing in a half-living state.
[SIGPIC]http://smileyjungle.com/smilies/sporty4.gif[/SIGPIC]
Me too. When puberty hit, my boobs started growing and it was like they wouldn't stop. I hated them, I hated the girls at my school, I hated the gender roles that society forced upon everyone. But I think that it was mostly my boobs that pushed me over the edge and made me want to be male more than any other reason.
When I got a reduction, I slowly became more at terms with being percieved as female. It was funny, most people see boobs as the most female thing, people get implants to feel like 'more of a woman'. But I didn't feel comfortable with 'being a woman' until I got most of mine removed.
So I thought that I was a woman and would be happy as one. And now...I really want to CD and explore my male side again. I don't think I'll ever really be able to settle on either male or female, but that's something I can live with.
Come on goats, time to go home!
I just knew. At six years old I knew I wanted to be a boy. At sixteen I sat in class looking across at the girl with whom I was head over heels in love and thought, "I want her, and everyone else, to call me 'he'. That's what would be right." It clicked. It felt deep down comfortable.
just like Ze, i also suppressed my inner male energy for over 20 years... my recent discovery/gender crash has unlocked all kinds of feelings about it but i will not hijack this thread with my story... i have known since as early as 3 years old about hym and have also been discouraged all my life to explore hym. now i finally have the space in my life to do so.
you are not alone.
[SIZE="3"]~ Androgynous/FTM/Boi ~[/SIZE]
it's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved as someone you're not.
Areyan's Blog
"The fool who persists in his folly will become wise" - William Blake
I never wanted to become a man because quite simply I've always been one
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Me, Myself and Felix!!
For as long as I can remember, I've felt male. It's just taken a considerable number of years to cope and really realize this.
Here here Walt
What he said. Exactly the same for me.
Gentlemen,
If you will allow a TS woman to try and answer this.
It is not a decision that any make to be male or female. We are born as one or the other. The only decision that any of us have to make is how we get there. A F2M T.S. is a male all his life,his body may not show it but that does not change who he is. He fights the same battles as a F2M that a M2F does. The difference being that a F2M carries a lot more negative physical dangers usually than a M2F.
How they can carry thru the ridicule and torment that comes their way at times amazes me. Truly most are some of the bravest men you will ever be fortunate enough to meet.
Love
Danni
Hi Danni and wow that was a really nice comment to read about us FtMs
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Me, Myself and Felix!!
yes, i understand this... lol, when i started asking my father to call me his son after getting all my hair cut off at 7 and refusing to wear any girls' clothing, my mother went all out taking me to lingerie stores, buying me lots more dolls and basically pushing my natal gender at me to ensure i got over the "phase"... heh. i rather like lingerie these days, but not all the time lol. i hear everyone about the boobs thing... i'm almost a d cup now and i hate them... can't wait to get my binder and eventually, some type of surgery would be nice, even if it was a drastic reduction.
[SIZE="3"]~ Androgynous/FTM/Boi ~[/SIZE]
it's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved as someone you're not.
Areyan's Blog
"The fool who persists in his folly will become wise" - William Blake
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