Kids?

[halfman_halfamazing]

How many kids do you know and how many kids know about you?
Putting this thread up cuz I think it's interesting and I love kids on the trans subject.
My sister's goddaughter asked me a few months ago.. "are you a boy or a girl?" i told her boy. duh. Then she asked a bunch of other questions. Idr. But she always presses on about it. She even called me "Tio" which is uncle in spanish she also calls me Dennis instead of Denise which caught on a long time ago when my cousins and I decided to reverse our names into male and for some reason, (I can guess why though lol) mine stuck more than theirs did. Two weeks ago at a party she asked me again but said "You're a boy right?" I said yes. "Have you always been a boy?" I think I either said yes or kind of. "Doesn't look like it." and took offf. =) She's 11.

The next and newest! From today. Is my baby boy! Cousin Matthew, he's 7. Out of nowhere asked me "Are you boy or a girl?" but in more of a demanded crazed wtf help me out! I told him boy. He went "Nooooo". He'll come around lol

The last and actually the first is my best friends little brother. 13. He asked her why they call me Ron now instead of Denise. As soon as she told me that part I was omg that's the most adorable thing I've ever heard. She said she told him and he says, that he doesnt understand why theyre mom and dad dont let her hang out with them (they one of those..) because I'm the same person inside Ron or Denise. Of course I'm sh*tting myself about how smart, intelligent and adorable and wise this 13 year old kid is. If he can see so much how can others, like his parents not?

Have any of you had experiences with kids like this?

[Ze]

I actually kind of avoid children; the smaller, the more likely. They make me uncomfortable. They see right through people and voice it quite easily.

I can't handle that.

[halfman_halfamazing]

lol no they really make me feel more comfortable actually. kinda gotta brace yourself for their questions obviously but its better than adults who think things or talk about you behind their backs. kids are just straight up. i love that.

[Billijo49504]

Art Linkletter made it big with his "Kids say the Darned Things show. At least you can forgive little kids. But not stupid adults..BJ

[Thornton]

No little kids know about me. Also, I hardly ever come into contact with little kids. But when I do, I tell them I'm Spencer, and they tell me who they are, and we go fight invisible zombies or something...

[Lex]

My nieces and nephew did used to call be Uncle Alex for a while. It didn't stick when I started wearing skirts again. :P

My sister and I do face painting at my Mum's church come Christmas time. I generally confuse the children and their parents. One year a little girl asked me whether I was a boy or a girl. My answer, "Both!" She looked so terrified that my sister and I burst out laughing and it has become one of our many in jokes. Don't worry though, she wasn't too scared.

[Ze]

Me thinks Uncle Lex enjoys messing with small children's minds.

[Fab Karen]

Young children have not yet been exposed to complex ideas- they believe the world is black-&-white.
If you're honest in answering, one day you might help a TG child see they're ok.

[Lex]

Me thinks Uncle Lex enjoys messing with small children's minds.

Hehehe, my dislike of children makes me want to mess with their minds. XD That and all my natural instincts tend to be kinda mean.

[nehapriya]

I love kids and i wish to give birth 2 a baby girl which i cant coz im not a genetic female.its grt to have kids , feed them , i just love it

[WalT]

No kids know about me, but one time last semester a gay couple's little daughter (thinking 3 or 4) kept on labeling me a boy at Ross. They seemed a little embarrassed about that and wheeled their adorable kid away.

Can't remember what exactly she said either. Kinda reminds me when I had blue hair; any time I was around kids they're point at me and say "Mom/dad! Look at that girl with blue hair!" 'Course, that was a year ago when I was still coming to terms with being trans (and still had a fairly feminine gender expression).

[Faith_G]

I've had good experiences with kids. That's not to say that they don't ever read me, though. I've been asked "Are you a guy?" by a few kids but when I answer "No, I'm a girl" they accept that and move on.

My niece and nephews know about me, and my sisters say that the kids are OK with the idea. I'll see how it plays out in real life when I visit for Thanksgiving.

I hope I'm not stepping on any toes posting in here, if I am Ze can delete this with my blessing.

[AnonyMouse]

There's just my twelve-year-old brother. He's having a time getting his head around it, but yesterday he came up to me out of the blue and told me a joke that he came up with himself (his emphasis). It was about Luke and Leia (from Star Wars, natch) being born as the opposite sex... how they changed before maturing, he didn't know. Terrible joke, but I consider it a good sign.

[Kylie666]

I think a better question is "when having kids is it still ok to dress up?" I know me and my girlfriend ask this question a few times and never do i find a answer, She is ok with me dressing but does not want me dressing around the kids...If we ever have any. I am a little disappointed by this as i have been thinking that i may start CD'ing full time or even TG ='( Right now i am just trying to find myself and i'm not sure about whats going to happen.

[Gerrijerry]

I have no problem with the younger children. Yes they do seen to be confused and seen to sence there is something different about us. However when asked are you a boy or girl I say girl. When adults ask, It is more about them making thereself feel better or putting us down, then really trying to understand. oh there is alway an exception to that.
When asked by a child are you a boy or girl they are really trying to understand how to talk to you in the world they understand. When an adult says that to you mostly it is to make fun of us for being different.

[DanteDonovan]

I think a better question is "when having kids is it still ok to dress up?"

Yes, I can see where this is a bit challenging. I can understand the disappointment, but having children in this day and age is a tricky thing. I would say keep it around home, but not when around with the child. At least while they are younger and at the age they won't understand the reasons for it happening. Not the "they won't know what's going on so I can" but kids are innocent and "my daddy wears girl clothes (or what my mommy wears)" can get the child a world of hurt in school. Since most kids are raised since little of boys and girls things, they will at least understand that, and the child could suffer extreme. At 4 yrs old they could end up being picked on and ridiculed unjustly. Hell, recently a 13 yr old got his arm broken by bullies because he was a cheerleader.

I wouldn't say completely stop doing it, but maybe minimize it. Unfortunately, anyone's worlds and lifestyles have to drastically change once having a child to raise. Btw this is coming from someone who was picked on and beat up in middle school, as well as a bit of cast-out in high school with some. All this just because of what I wore. That alone made me have a bit of low self-esteem.

This definitely will have to be dealt with care though, mostly for your child's safety, because other kids can be very violent to some things, especially something that is still so taboo and just "not allowed" in the world. It is sad, and disappointing, but I think she is right in her thoughts because the child's literal safety is going to be involved in this. Don't hide it from them though, when they are old enough to truly understand, when they are groing and learning of things more extreme, and teaching about acceptance and such of races, religions, lifestyles, put that in there. Then over time maybe be a bit more of "yourself" at home. When the child is older, ask them if they'd mind going out with you if you dressed how you wish, and let them make the choice. They may love you and accept you, but still say "no". Not because of being ashamed necessarily, but still learning how to properly deal with it and other people around them. I say, once they move out, go all gung ho and tell them to deal, since by then they should be more mature. Or, just still try to respect their boundaries too.

Like, if you invite them somewhere, that means it's under your rules, and by accepting invitation, they deal. But if you are invited to an occasion by them, and they request you tone it down, then do so. Like I have lots of piercings and tats, I go to work I got to take them out and keep them covered. I'm in someone else's "house". My mom isn't necessarily liking my stuff(more tattoos than anything) so I keep more toned down when going over. She accepts I have them and that I'm mature to make my own decisions, but would just prefer I don't parade it around in front of her. Especially since none of them involve roses and birds lol. Or, I have a potty mouth and smoke, but I won't do it around children or my parents.

Yeah, kids are tough, but safety first. They say the "sticks and stones" thing still, but trust me, it's not true. When heard enough as a child, it starts growing on you and resonating, which is why something still so generally unaccepted in society, has to be dealt with very gently and thoughtfully when raising the child. Don't hide it from them, but try to keep yourself in check, because having your child victim of a hate crime in school(which is mostly where that crap happens since they're the closest to take it out on) is a big issue.

As far as TG, just have it complete before bringing in the child-lordy knows that the child going "my daddy grew bewbs" is just going to be damn awkward lol People will see lesbians, and that is more widely accepted, as well as parents loving each other is normal, and the child will see it as having 2 mommies. Still will have to watch how it goes, but don't think it will be as touchy an issue as CDing will be. Guess a lot of it is judgment calls. Just, no matter what , whether you like it or not, the child always comes first before yourself. Don't lose yourself along the way, but you might have to face possible having to put that part of you on "slow mo" for a few yrs when the child is in your presence, or with them in public.