How many?

[Sarah_GG]

Inspired by a number of recent threads I'm interested to know... how many on here do share their crossdressing with their wife/partner/SO?

If your SO knows, did she know from the outset? If she did, what sort of age bracket do you fall into?

Do you have fun with the shared knowledge, ie shared dressing up times, talking about clothes and transgenderism in general? Have you read the same books on the subject and talked about them?

If you've decided to 'tell' your SO during your time together, have you regretted it? What are the good and bad bits about your CDing being out between you?

For those who've been 'caught' did your relationship survive?

I'm also interested to know roughly how many - and what age - of those who don't want to share their CDing with their partners (for whatever reason) and are perfectly happy with their own status quo?

[BiancaEstrella]

I'm 26 and single right now. Dating, but nothing serious with anyone...

I do plan to disclose that I cross-dress if I feel that something substantial is developing. I don't see that as necessary in the casual stages. If a woman is going to walk out, I at least want it to be before we get in too deep. I understand that there are women who may otherwise see me as a man full of endearing qualities, but couldn't accept that there's a woman very much within me, who occasionally shows herself off.

A more prominent fear I have is that I'll meet a woman who accepts it initially, but loses her warmth about it over time.

My last serious relationship ended before I accepted/realized that I am/should be a cross-dresser.

[DAVIDA]

Hi Sarah!
Yes, my wife, Jean, has known since the day I asked her to marry me!
All she said at the time was, "so"!
She sees me dressed every day. I mean, I don't feel the need to go all out with the wig and make-up, but I wear the clothes every day.
She has gone to Southern Comfort with me and has been with me every time that I have ventured out dressed.
She has bought several things for me over the years.
BTW, this December will be 20 years married!

OH YEAH! I was 35 and Jean is a few +1 years older than me!

[Samantha Girl]

Me and my girl Cat have been together for over 6 years. We are engaged to be married. She is 32, I am 34.

When we started going out I did not tell her. However it's more complicated then that. I had ocassionally played around with aspects of crossdressing and bisexuality by myself on and off for a few years, but nothing much. For years, very ocassionally and kinda outta nowhere I would play around with my hair with hairspray (HUGE turn on for me), maybe borrow one of my sister's pairs of tights, fishnets or whatever and maybe play with some adult toys, that's it, maybe twice a year. No makeup, no "clothes", no shoes, etc. I'd do it and completely forget about it. Before I met Cat it started to happen more often, but it didn't really "progress". Once we got together it almost completely disappeared. Around 05-06 I started growing my hair long which I had always wanted to. One day I looked in the mirror with my longer hair and thought about what I used to do with my hair messing around and my brain went "You could do a lot more girly stuff with your hair now!" Suddenly the progression sorta went into overdrive. It also helped that I was unemployed for 6 months, lots of free time Problem is I had never really thought through the behaviour, but I started to as things progressed and I began to realize how much I LOVED it!

So now I started buying clothes online and boots & shoes, eventually having full outfits and makeup. I also started taking pictures of myself dressed up and videos too. During this time I started to feel terribly guilty because I was hiding it from Cat. Also I hadn't really accepted who I was yet, I still felt a tremendous amount of shame about cross dressing and told NO ONE! I was deathly afraid to tell Cat, fearing rejection and the possibility of losing her. So we had been together long enough, completely in love, where I began thinking about popping the question. However I felt like I couldn't because she didn't know the whole me...

I am an artist and I have a sketchbook journal that I write and sketch my painting/art ideas in and also functions as my diary of innermost thoughts. I had a seperate hidden one for my CDing thoughts. Cat is the only person on Earth I allow to read the sketchbook/journal. I decided I'd force the issue. I wrote in there that I had this big secret that I was afraid to tell her, wrote a whole page without mentioning what it was. Explaining that's why I hadn't popped the question yet and at the end in big letters I put so Cat if you read this ask me "What's the BIG secret?" A few weeks later we were driving back from a roadtrip/vacation weekend in upstate NY and she goes what's the big secret...

Thought I was going to die right then & there! I told her, she had many questions and was very accepting, thoughtful and loving about it while still having concerns. When we got home she wanted to see my stash of girly stuff and I dressed up for her and we made love Over the coming weeks she was, rightfully so, feeling a bit betrayed that I had hid this for so long. She worked it out and forgave me and our life has progressed in a very positive way ever since. There are the ocassional small problems, but nothing major. Overall it's been amazing. Yes I know as Penny stated before me, I am VERY LUCKY! Many of you know this firsthand since Cat, studying to be a social worker, has been working on a study of us crossdressers for school that many of you were kind enough to participate in. So we obviously have talked extensively about this subject. She's come a long way She helps with my makeup sometimes, we've gone out a lot with me dressed up, especially now that we live outside Portland. I have absolutely no reason to feel regretful for coming out to her.

P.S. Sorry my post's so long! I am not a very succinct person with my words, you'll learn that!

[CallMeMeg]

I'm 56, and have been married for 21 years (and, no, I don't remember breaking three mirrors).

My wife knew before we were married and never really liked it but tolerated it because she thinks she was the one who first got me interested in crossdressing (she wasn't ~ she was about 25 years too late for that!).

[kaitlin]

Hi Sarah, When my wife and I first started being friends, about 8 years ago, we talked about everything and I do mean everything! When I told her about my likes for fem things she bought me a cute lacy pair of panties to wear for her! (we havent even had sex then) Anyway, she bought them I wore them on our first date, long story short we have been married for 3 1/2 years now and she loves her "Kaitlin" time! She is super supportive and our life is WONDERFUL!! Biggest thing and the best thing we did was to live 100% on an "open and honest" policy! No lies, no cover ups, means no problems! Luvs Kaitlin

[melissacd]

I am a fifty something individual who came out to their spouse 15 years after starting the relationship. She did not take it well and never wanted to discuss or deal with it. For 10 years after that it was the white elephant in the room that caused the relationship to go in to a tail spin and eventually end. While cross dressing was not the single cause of the split it was the catalyst that affected communication which in turn created many other problems that eventually made being together no longer an option.

We split in 2007.

The last two years I have been in a relationship with a woman who accepts, who sees me dressed up all the time, who shops with me, shares the dressing experience with me - the total opposite of my experience from my 25 year relationship. While I did not tell her right from the start I did tell her about this shortly after we met and while she was surprised she was also open to the whole thing.

The challenge that I have in the current relationship is that I want to dress 7/24 (something that I was up front with her from the beginning might be a possibility) and she does not want that. She is fine with me dressing much of the time but not all of the time. That is the new challenge that I must weigh carefully and decide upon.

[Jay Cee]

Told my girlfriend shortly after we started seeing each other that I had some "gender issues". She was pretty cool with it. When I finally broke down and wanted to buy some clothes, she went with me on a 3hr+ tour of stores and malls. Pretty cool!

Btw, I'm in my early 40's, she's in her late 30's.

[Amanduhrob]

Inspired by a number of recent threads I'm interested to know... how many on here do share their crossdressing with their wife/partner/SO?
I don't share, per say, she doesn't wear make up

If your SO knows, did she know from the outset? If she did, what sort of age bracket do you fall into?
I told her while in the getting to know each other stage
Do you have fun with the shared knowledge, ie shared dressing up times, talking about clothes and transgenderism in general? Have you read the same books on the subject and talked about them?
Not really, she doesn't mind if I dress in front of her, but she doesn't participate, and she's both bisexual, and a female dominant, we live in a poly household with another female switch
If you've decided to 'tell' your SO during your time together, have you regretted it? What are the good and bad bits about your CDing being out between you? I don't regret it one bit, and I'm allowed to dress as I like, as long as I don't stay enfemme full time

For those who've been 'caught' did your relationship survive?

I'm also interested to know roughly how many - and what age - of those who don't want to share their CDing with their partners (for whatever reason) and are perfectly happy with their own status quo?

I hope this answers your questions, I'm 42.

[DonniDarkness]

Here we go

how many on here do share their crossdressing with their wife/partner/SO?

I share my cding with my wife.

If your SO knows, did she know from the outset? If she did, what sort of age bracket do you fall into?

My wife knew about my desires to wear girls clothes about a year into dating, we have this December been married for 9 years, at the time when i first told her we were in our very early 20's, we are currently in the 25-35 age group.

Do you have fun with the shared knowledge, ie shared dressing up times, talking about clothes and transgenderism in general? Have you read the same books on the subject and talked about them?

We have fun talking about TG stuff, shopping, and everything else that involves each of our interests. No Secrets. She loves to read and i do too but i dont think either of us have read the first book on TG life/problems

If you've decided to 'tell' your SO during your time together, have you regretted it? What are the good and bad bits about your CDing being out between you?

N/A, she always known, but i would never regret being honest no matter her reaction.

For those who've been 'caught' did your relationship survive?

N/A

I'm also interested to know roughly how many - and what age - of those who don't want to share their CDing with their partners (for whatever reason) and are perfectly happy with their own status quo?

N/A

[BRANDYJ]

The first person that ever knew anything about my crossdressing was the woman that became my second wife. I was about 25 at the time. I remember how scared I was to tell her. At first it did not go over to well. It took her some days to even ask me the usual questions about wanting a sex change, are you gay etc. In a short time she was comfortable enough to accept it and slowly came around to even enjoy it. We shared 10 years together until she died of cancer in 1984. Next was my third wife. I was about 38. It was a little easier to tell her then my past wife. She took it as, " so? what's the big deal". Like my past wife, she enjoyed some aspects of it with me. It was never an issue in our nearly 19 years of marriage. My present SO knew day one since we met on a alternate lifestyle dating site and she saw pictures of me in drab as well as fem. She loves for me to dress as her maid and do the housework.
There is no way I'd ever hide who I am from a woman I am in love with. If I thought a woman may not accept who I am when it comes to crossdressing, I'd end any and all romantic interest in her. It would not wok out well if I had to hide. It could be a painful thing to be discovered in a lie and hiding. Painful for her and for me.
I feel very blessed to have a woman that accepts me the way I am and loves me as much as I love her. I fully appreciate her as well as respect and adore her.

[suchacutie]

My wife and I discovered Tina together after 32 years of marriage. They are girlfriends and my wife has been teaching Tina how to be a girl, how to act as a girlfriend, and everything else. We discuss Tina when I am male and they discuss me when Tina comes to visit. I was 55 when we discovered Tina and it's our shared adventure to find out just who Tina is, since it's clear Tina has been a part of me forever, just not identified as such. The bottom line is that I understand my wife ever so much more from our discussions about growing up as a girl, about being a woman, and then allowing Tina to become a unique being. My wife gets to (along with me) find out parts of me neither of us knew existed. It's a tremendously winning situation!

me and Tina!

[Yvonne York]

Inspired by a number of recent threads I'm interested to know... how many on here do share their crossdressing with their wife/partner/SO?

If your SO knows, did she know from the outset? If she did, what sort of age bracket do you fall into?

Do you have fun with the shared knowledge, ie shared dressing up times, talking about clothes and transgenderism in general? Have you read the same books on the subject and talked about them?

If you've decided to 'tell' your SO during your time together, have you regretted it? What are the good and bad bits about your CDing being out between you?

For those who've been 'caught' did your relationship survive?

I'm also interested to know roughly how many - and what age - of those who don't want to share their CDing with their partners (for whatever reason) and are perfectly happy with their own status quo?

Yes my wife knows and encourages, we share dressing up times and talk about clothes but not TG issues. She encouraged me to rediscover dressing, and had no idea that it was something I had enjoyed years before.

[bobbijo]

I am 61 have been married 40 years. I did not tell my wife about my crossdressing before marriage. shortly after we were married she asked me to wear her panties. We progressed from that to me wearing panties all the time till now I am underdressed 24/7 and completly dressed on weekends and vacations.

[AKAMichelle]

Currently I am age 50 and heading for a divorce. She caught me dressed 24 years ago but I lied my way out of it. I finally told her 2.5 years ago. Telling her didn't go very well but I have few regrets about telling her.

[Emily Ann Brown]

NO...the relationship of 38 years do not survive after being discovered. But my new relationship is solid..she was told from day one.

Em

[kayegirl]

My late wife knew about my dressing before we were married, I was 23 she was 20.
Occasionaly we did share dressing up time, but never really talked about it.
Regret her knowing, NEVER, regret not talking about it more All of the time.
Caught several times, and yes our relationship did survive, we were just 10 weeks short of our 35th wedding anniversary when that dammed cancer took her life.

[Sarah_GG]

Wow. Thank you for answering my questions. I see generally that those who have told their partners have no regrets, even the ones who went on to separate have cited other issues as being the catalyst for the split.

A more prominent fear I have is that I'll meet a woman who accepts it initially, but loses her warmth about it over time.

This is a real fear. As couples take each other for granted and take on the stresses of life, crossdressing can become a scapegoat for other problems, either real or perceived. Sometimes the CDer takes any criticism as being about the crossdressing when really it might just be because you didn't take out the rubbish or forgot her birthday.

The only problems we have ever had as a result were MY problems with coming to accept it. :/

And yes, I know exactly how fortunate I am.

Congratulations Penny. I guess from your age group this is what I'd hope to see. And you're not alone with struggling with self-acceptance.

Hi Sarah!
Yes, my wife, Jean, has known since the day I asked her to marry me!
All she said at the time was, "so"!
She sees me dressed every day. I mean, I don't feel the need to go all out with the wig and make-up, but I wear the clothes every day.
She has gone to Southern Comfort with me and has been with me every time that I have ventured out dressed.
She has bought several things for me over the years.
BTW, this December will be 20 years married!

That's great. On the rare occasion that we're out and about together we have a great time - it usually involves dancing and always dressing up. Those are things that most GGs would love to do regularly but when things are concealed, sadly don't get the chance.

Thought I was going to die right then & there! I told her, she had many questions and was very accepting, thoughtful and loving about it while still having concerns. When we got home she wanted to see my stash of girly stuff and I dressed up for her and we made love Over the coming weeks she was, rightfully so, feeling a bit betrayed that I had hid this for so long.... I have absolutely no reason to feel regretful for coming out to her.

Thank you for the post. I'm glad it's all going well for you.

I'm 56, and have been married for 21 years (and, no, I don't remember breaking three mirrors).

My wife knew before we were married and never really liked it but tolerated it because she thinks she was the one who first got me interested in crossdressing (she wasn't ~ she was about 25 years too late for that!).

I think there is more fun involved for the SO if you can go out and about together and make friends with other like-minded couples. I'm sure you're just joking when you imply you've had 21 years of 'bad luck'?!

...our life is WONDERFUL!! Biggest thing and the best thing we did was to live 100% on an "open and honest" policy! No lies, no cover ups, means no problems! Luvs Kaitlin

Congratulations!

The challenge that I have in the current relationship is that I want to dress 7/24 (something that I was up front with her from the beginning might be a possibility) and she does not want that. She is fine with me dressing much of the time but not all of the time. That is the new challenge that I must weigh carefully and decide upon.

This is something that many GGs worry about. What will happen in the future, will I lose my man altogether, will he want to transition etc etc. I don't think anyone can truly know the answer to that - some will and some won't. Personally I've decided I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Right now we have a very happy relationship. One of us could die, have a stroke, an accident... whatever. We just enjoy the moment and for now don't see any issues arising. It is helped that we regularly have the dialogue and I know where my SOs thinking is. Good luck.

Told my girlfriend shortly after we started seeing each other that I had some "gender issues". She was pretty cool with it. When I finally broke down and wanted to buy some clothes, she went with me on a 3hr+ tour of stores and malls. Pretty cool!

Btw, I'm in my early 40's, she's in her late 30's.

Great! Shopping can be fun. I've never shopped as much as I have since I met my SO. I also love walking in the rain across the countryside with the dog and insist that we get as much of that as we do shopping!

I hope this answers your questions, I'm 42.

Thank you

Here we go

Thank you

There is no way I'd ever hide who I am from a woman I am in love with. If I thought a woman may not accept who I am when it comes to crossdressing, I'd end any and all romantic interest in her. It would not work out well if I had to hide.

I agree. I truly feel for everyone who's had to hide any part of who they are to their partner for whatever reason.

My wife and I discovered Tina together after 32 years of marriage.

A late starter! Thank you for your response.

Yes my wife knows and encourages, we share dressing up times and talk about clothes but not TG issues. She encouraged me to rediscover dressing, and had no idea that it was something I had enjoyed years before.

Would you encourage your wife to come here and chat to other GGs and embrace things further?

I am 61 have been married 40 years. I did not tell my wife about my crossdressing before marriage. shortly after we were married she asked me to wear her panties. We progressed from that to me wearing panties all the time till now I am underdressed 24/7 and completly dressed on weekends and vacations.

And you're both still very happy!

Currently I am age 50 and heading for a divorce. She caught me dressed 24 years ago but I lied my way out of it. I finally told her 2.5 years ago. Telling her didn't go very well but I have few regrets about telling her.

I'm sorry it didn't work you for you. I know none of us can turn the clocks back, but at 50 you've still got plenty of fun ahead.

NO...the relationship of 38 years do not survive after being discovered. But my new relationship is solid..she was told from day one.

Em

I'm sorry that crossdressing was the catalyst for the breakdown of your marriage. Having been straight from day one with the new relationship, are you finding it easier to express your true self?

My late wife knew about my dressing before we were married, I was 23 she was 20.
Occasionaly we did share dressing up time, but never really talked about it.
Regret her knowing, NEVER, regret not talking about it more All of the time.
Caught several times, and yes our relationship did survive, we were just 10 weeks short of our 35th wedding anniversary when that dammed cancer took her life.

I'm sorry Kaye. Thank you for your response.

[Kim_Bitzflick]

Yes she knows. I'm 44.

She knew as soon as I recognized it. When I was younger I had a fascination with girl's panties when I was 12 to 14 but it went away (or so I thought). After we had been married about 14 years, it came back in full force. At that time I was totally honest with her. Do I regret telling her? No. Honesty is the best policy & she knows I will tell her what is on my mind.

Shared knowledge. WE don't have fun with it. She accepts that it is part of me but doesn't encourage or discourage it. Her statement is that she is "like an ostrich." She keeps her head buried in the sand hoping it will go away. BUT she will still go out with me sometimes.

Inspired by a number of recent threads I'm interested to know... how many on here do share their crossdressing with their wife/partner/SO?

If your SO knows, did she know from the outset? If she did, what sort of age bracket do you fall into?

Do you have fun with the shared knowledge, ie shared dressing up times, talking about clothes and transgenderism in general? Have you read the same books on the subject and talked about them?

If you've decided to 'tell' your SO during your time together, have you regretted it? What are the good and bad bits about your CDing being out between you?

For those who've been 'caught' did your relationship survive?

I'm also interested to know roughly how many - and what age - of those who don't want to share their CDing with their partners (for whatever reason) and are perfectly happy with their own status quo?

[kimdl93]

My wife knows and has known since we first met....really about 4 months after we started dating. She was 29 and I was 33 at the time. We've been married for ten years and its been good. Now that her kids and mine are grown, I can dress pretty much full time at home and we have a lot of fun as girl friends. I honestly think she likes me better and accepts me as something more than just a guy who wears women's clothes. The good bits far outweigh the bad.

[KarenCDFL]

I told my wife of fifteen years way before we married. It took her awhile to get used to the idea and now all these years later she is completely accepting and very comfortable with it. There are times when we have girls nights together and times where its just me.

I probably dress more now because she tells me that I "need to dress" for various reasons.

[JessiRed]

I told my wife about me when things first started getting serious for us. Roughly 2-3 months into the relationship.

She is totally supportive and actually loves it. She's kinda bi and has said many times she never would have been able to marry a "normal" guy and that I'm perfect for her.

I was 26 and she was 29 when we met.

[Samantha Kelsey]

Hi,

After seperating from my ex five years ago while working for a friend I met a lovely woman named Katy. We were both the same age, mid fifties. For a few months we would bump into each other at my friends house. We gradually started talking and sooner or later we talked about me being a CD. I should point out that at this time we had no idea that we would end up as partners. Anyway as we talked she told me that she knew about me being CD and she was always wanting to know more.

Over the next couple of months we became good friends and would go to each others house for dinner. She got to see Samantha in this time. After few more months we started a relationship. On our first date it was Samantha who she met and Samantha who stayed the night.

Well, five years later and living together Samantha is still very much with us (more than I am) and Katy loves us both as much. She is also a member of this site Katy Dee.
Samantha.

.

[Laura Evans]

I told my SO (fiance) early in our relationship to give her the opportunity to back out before the relationship deepened, I was tired of living a lie with the significant people in my life (previously married). Her response was "Oh! Is that all? I don't care." I am 62 and she is 42.

We have shopped together and she has purchased clothing and jewelry for me. I dress often when we are together. She has 4 children two know and two don't so when the two that don't know are around I won't dress. At bed time, however, I usually do.

We do share a-lot and talk a-lot about clothing, jewelry, CD'ing in general. When she comes across something on the subject she usually shares it with me. She often taunts me with comments such as: "I bet you would like to wear such and such." usually related to something a woman is wearing.

In the previous relationships in which I was caught it ended in divorce but not from the CD'ing although it did not help. I did not come out to them primarily because I was not accepting of myself, felt guilt and shame.

[JulieC]

As with everything, I shared this with my wife and continued to do so.

She knew a few months into our relationship. It was no big deal to her. A couple of days later, she bought me pantyhose. Later on, crossdressing rapidly expanded for me. It didn't go well at first, but we eventually worked it out well.

We haven't read any books on the subject, but otherwise yes we frequently discuss crossdressing, and have some fun with the topic in general.

The only bad bit was when my crossdressing rapidly expanded to include many other items than just (mainly) pantyhose. That was a rocky road at first. I don't know that I ever regretted telling her.

The good bits are that it continues the depth of relationship that we have. Everything is shared, and everything is open. We have very strong communication skills, and this emphasizes that.

The only 'problem' we have now is that while my wife wishes I didn't, I still feel guilty being dressed in front of her sometimes. It is slowly getting better.

I was never caught by anyone other than my mother, my wife included.

I was in my early 30s when I told my wife, and we've been married since (now in 40s).