Thoughts Leading Upto GRS !!!!

[Felix]

Ok I'm nearly here I'm nearly at the begining of the end in many ways So things have happened extremely fast for me, I'm so lucky From my first appointment with the psych in Hull in September 2008 To now August 2010 and GRS September 18th 2010 exactly 2 years, well all but a week or so The count down has begun and as I reflect on everything I feel kinda strange like I'm looking from the outside in at my life upto this moment.
I have to admitt I'm a little nervous and as I tick the days off to my surgery the nerves well up then subside and then that calmness comes over me again like a feeling I just can't describe. The only thing that is playing on my mind is the fact that my chest is not complete but I know the nurses will be ace with it and will go with the flow I've thought of loads of ways round it and I'll,l be talking with my friend who has not had any chest surgery yet but has had his GRS I'm sure he will be able to give me sound advice on the matter.
So my friends thank you for supporting me these last 4 years yes 4 years its gone so fast and to be honest couldn't have done it with out you all Ladies and Gentlemen you have been wonderful and amazing!!!! I will add to this thread anymore thoughts regarding my surgery. Xx Felix

[Shelly Preston]

Felix you will be fine

Its only natural to be nervous
Focus on the fact this is what you have been working towards

[StaceyJane]

Good Luck Felix!

[Felix]

Thanx Shelly I know ya right and I am working towards the bigest day of my life

Thanx Stacey Jane xx Felix

[Ze]

Surgery is nerve-wracking, I know, but you're going to do great. Best of luck to you!

[7sisters]

Felix You've come a long way... it's only few more steps. Truly if there was proof needed of supportive families... this place has to be it.

[Felix]

Thanx Ze and yeah ya right there 7sisters and thanx Felix

[Andy66]

It really does seem like it happened fast. What a long strange trip it's been. I wonder when it's all over, will you be glad in a way that you were able to experience part of your life as a female? You know things that very few guys do, and you've been through so much.

[Felix]

Hi Andy and yeah I think I am proud of the fact that I did experience that part of me that was female. From it I was able to have my children and become a parent I think as I have fully embraced my masculinity and my male role I have also realized that those qualities society sees as inately female actually if you unwrap them they belong to us all although maybe in lesser or greater degrees I mean a lot of the time I feel like a mum and a dad all rolled into one but thats only i think because I was socialized to think in a certain way i.e a woman is the nurturer the man is the bread winner. In reality me as a parent I am all of those things. It doesnt matter if I'm a man or a woman, mother or father, I'm just a parent at the end of the day who is trying to do the best for their child. Hope this makes sense xx Felix

[Andy66]

It doesnt matter if I'm a man or a woman, mother or father, I'm just a parent at the end of the day who is trying to do the best for their child. Hope this makes sense

Makes perfect sense to me.

[Felix]

Thanx Andy

Well Peeps I got my final confirmation last night at 11.20 pm I will be admitted to the St John and Elizabeth Hospital on the 17th of September at 6pm and my surgery will be the following day the 18th.

My thoughts and feelings are mixed from excitement to anxiety although I know this is completely the right decision. I have emailed the nurse this morning to ask if I will be having the same revised procedure that my friend had as he was the first they have done this on and they said they would be doing 25 more. He had his at the end of June and they do two a week by the looks of things so that means fingers crossed I will get the same procedure. It used to be 4 ops now it should only be three as they have changed how they are doing it.

Nine to ten hours under the knife is quite a scary thought, my life definitely in their hands. My future as a fully functional male, in their hands. I pray to the Gods that this all goes to plan as I don't know how I will feel if it doesn't but it's a risk I'm willing to take to make me feel complete xx Felix

[nehapriya]

Hi, Im new to this. Im a male to female and a TO BE female very soon .

[pamela_a]

That sounds encouraging they may be able to do it in 3 Felix. 9 hours is a long time but I believe everything will work out just fine. How could it not be perfect for such a great guy as you? My best thoughs and wishes always to you Felix

[Felix]

Thanx Pamela xx

[7sisters]

I have tears in my eyes. I'm so emotional too Felix. You will be in my thoughts throughout the day. I just have not got words to describe how I am feeling right now.