My wife is totally OK with it. She was on edge 2 years ago but now is fine a very supportive. She bought me a FOUX diamond ring, Last year at the SCC I took my wedding band off as it was very male looking. Now I can wear my male ring plus this new addition and it looks like a wedding set, Very sweet!
"Originally Posted by Anne66"
It's store policy: whatever you're looking for, that's what they're out of. And the chances of finding it are in inverse proportion to how much you want it.
She knows, she tolerates, we shop together. Supportive and tolerant , but to a point. I don't push it.
Mine knows and is okay with complete dressing at home at any time......I get a frown here and there when wearing things out in public, but in those cases I make sure I don't wear whatever is concerning her.......Respect!!!
It's so great to read all these posts! Thanks for sharing everyone! You are awesome!
No... All my previous girl friends, seem to think the idea is disgusting when I bring up just the idea of it.
I seem to only ask out girls who think its wrong for a guy to want to wear anything females wear, dunno why....
Ironically, they all have no problem wanting to wear my boxers or no problem wearing mens t-shirts, but the slightest idea of me wanting to wear something a little girly makes them throw up in their mouths...
I honestly am ok with them wearing guy stuff if they want, but none of them seem to be as open minded as me. I always break off the relationship a month or two after that.
The wife knows, and tolrates it to the point that I stay in the closet.
I could never pass anyway so it workes out. She/WE have set a few guide lines, and it workes out. I underdress more than I use to, mostly from
this forum. Rader
I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I have a great girlfriend that I am totally honest with, and she is fully accepting and supportive.
I only dress at home (I'm non-pass), and even then, only when she knows I'm going to be femmed up. I never force it on her, and it seems to work out in our situation.
My wife knows of my crossdressing, and has since about 3 weeks into our relationship. She is also 100% supportive.
Girlfriend knows, she's been accepting. We don't do a ton together and she's very "put off" of acting together when I'm dressed, but that's a respectable boundary we've set so we go out as good friends rather.
I'm one of the lucky ones. My SO knows and does on occasion buy Nancie something nice. She also told her sister and she too thinks it is pretty cool. We are going to Vegas in Oct and they are already planning some outings. Planning on having a make over out there and trying to figure out when to sneak away and get it done and than surprise them and see what their reaction is.
Ah yes, the infamous "don't ask, don't tell" policy...Originally Posted by Tasha McIntyre
Don't you just love it when our SO's break their own rules in that regard and proceed to tear a strip off our hides over our crossdressing, thereby ensuring that we have just as bad a day as they are evidently having at that very moment....
gina has grown up ovr the years ,with much suport and love from my wife with just one simple rule ,all is ok between us just keep it private
I'm very lucky to be with someone who is absolutely supportive. I'm pretty sure it turns her on too. She will get sad sometimes when I don't have a clean skirt to wear out.
I love her dearly and told her right away about it. She had almost laughed at me for thinking she would have a problem with it.
Telling my (future) wife two months into the relationship was one of the smartest things I've done. She's extremely supportive, and if it were up to her, I'd be full time right now (I want to be some day, but don't think I'm quite ready for that yet).
I too am one of the fortunate ones. I decided to tell my girlfriend a couple years before we got married. It was the most terrifying thing I've ever done - but she accepted me and we worked through it.
We've been married for over 5 years now, and because we both work from home I spend one or two days a week in 'girl mode' and it's just no big deal.
I don't necessarily think she's attracted to me when I'm in girl mode, but she still loves me and accepts me. She gives me advice on all kinds of things, and earlier this year we both went and got our ears pierced.
I'm in the "tell her" camp solidly. Personally this whole "being transgender" thing isn't just like some flaw or something that you're hiding from your girlfriend - but goes to the very core of your identity. I just got to a point where I was tired of 'faking' that I was 100% man - and it changed my life for the positive.
For anyone who is thinking of getting married I would definitely recommend they tell her. If they don't, and you go ahead with the marriage - just know that it only gets harder the older you get. The regrets just build and build, and the sense of "deception" that the other partner might feel is potentially worse. If you deal with it early, then you have lots of time to talk through and educate yourselves through the process. I don't think I could be happy being married to someone who doesn't understand the real me.
For people that are already married I realize it's a tricky thing. Sometimes it takes years to come to a realization of who we are inside, and sometimes that means it doesn't happen until we're married. There's lots of advice on this forum about the pros and cons of coming out to a life partner.
For now my wife accepts me. If I were to transition I don't know if she'd still want to be married to me, but we'll cross that bridge when/if we come to it. For now we know that we make each other happy, and we're committed to making it work. If it's not viable in the future, I think we will still love and respect each other.
My Transgender Blog - the girl inside
I tried to raise the subject with my wife many years ago and got such a bad reaction that I have been afraid to go there since. I get the impression from time to time that she might suspect. Recently T had a minor accident and was unable to drive. I was pressed into bringing her to the mall. We spent three hours shopping (for her of course). Afterwards she told me how helpful I had been and how wonderful I was to have put up with being dragged through all those shops. I replied that I enjoyed myself and would be happy to do it again, any time. The look I got killed that moment.
I was married to my wife 9-10 years before I told her. Luckily for me, she is a complete gem. After she got beyond all of the "are you gay? are you going to be completely female in a few years' time?" questions, she's been very cool about it. Even scheduling dates (at home) with me dressed up, she genuinely enjoys spending time with both "me"s.
TBH I kind of knew that she would be accepting but I just didn't realise the level to which she would accept it.
Only boundaries we have is that she has to be cool with me dressing (indicated by either an Empress or an Emperor tarot card we have on a magnet on our fridge) at that particular time. Venturing out of my house? Well I'm not brave enough to do that yet, maybe in the future, but we'll probably have to agree on more stuff then...
It's been pretty cool though, I wish I'd accepted this part of myself a hell of a lot earlier.
my wife does not know ... but this sometimes make it fun when I CD in her clothes and I feel worry that she may catch me ...
The more you dress in her clothes, the more likely she will discover. Also, the fact you are dressing in her clothes will almost certainly make her reaction considerably WORSE than if you were wearing clothes you had bought for yourself. If ever you want acceptance from her, stop wearing her clothes.
Actually, my wife (girlfriend then) encouraged me to dress for the first time. We went out on Halloween several years ago. It was a fun and bizarre evening. I haven't gone out since (lack of opportunity), but I do wear thongs and pantie girdles most every day and tights in the winter. At home I will frequently wear bras and forms and often do errands underdressed as such on the weekends. However, as I've mentioned previously, you can hide a surprising amount of projection with bib overalls. Occasionally I will wear a dress at home, but not very often.
Anyway, not a problem (although the woman does like to feel me up when I'm dressed or underdressed...). Hmmm...
True. Also, it might feel fun at the time, but for me it's now something I'm quite embarrassed that I did, like the worse side of my CDing (i.e., the sneaky, creepy side). Feels a lot better for my psyche now that we have separate clothes and I'm not rooting around in her stuff...
My wife accepts this part of me but to be honest our marriage has been changed. Obviously I'm not the man she thought I was when we were married and it has caused her some pain in coming to terms with my transgenderism. It was and is difficult for her to accept but to her credit she has supported me through purchasing clothing for me, helping with makeup,and allowing me space in our closet for my female wardrobe. Still there is a noticeable lessening of physical intimacy and a kind of walking on eggshells aspect to our relationship. She worries about me going full time as a woman( a valid concern) and about what would happen to our lives with friends and family if I were to transition. I best describe it as a work in progress and a difficult but necessary part of my journey to fulfillment.
I am very blessed to have my wife, Angel, who accepts and supports my crossdressing. I told her years before we married (having learned from my first marriage!), and she went with me to triess meetings, took me on my first outing and set up times for my being dressed on our train trip to and at Niagara Falls during vacation.
That's not to say things have been perfect, but we have worked things out pretty well. I don't shave my legs both for her desire and because I don't really want to either. I only go out dressed during the cooler months when I can wear tights and long skirts.
I have also been blessed to not have to worry about people finding out. Due to my ex-wife's threats to tell everybody, I ended up telling everyone important in my life, at work and my family and I never lost a single friend or loved one. I think most people pretty much just say "Oh well, that's just Johnny(Joni)!
Joni
"Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan
No, my Wife does not know. Based on her comments she will not like my dressing. But I have to tell her, I can not continue to deceive her any more. I recommend that if you are going to commit to this gf you had better tell her now, you will regret it if you don't and I fully believe that at some time you will have to tell her. Better now then later when you have more to lose.
Rachel Lea
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