Wearing female clothes while as a man

[Pythos]

I very often wear "feminine" clothing as a male. There is no question I am male.

Yesterday I was able to wear my spandex jeans for work, due to the heat we were having around here made wearing jeans really uncomfortable. I move about in my new job and the jeans were just dragging against my legs, not to mention despite the fact they fit they kept needing to be tugged up.

So I asked my boss (who knows me even before I got the job, I was a regular customer, and the machine I am using to post this is one of his creations), if I could wear my leggings, to which he said "of course".

So yesterday I wore my SDJs. It felt great, and I had to adjust them I think maybe 3 times. They moved with me opposed to against me, and that was nice.

I have also gone out skirted, but my look is usually a bit softer when I do that, just in case I need to "pass just barely" as a female.

Then of course there are the times I go out in androgynous mode But to too many that is a foreign concept.

[Tracy X Cruz]

I will say that some of us have a lot of trouble passing... but to let that stop us would be crime.

I started by wearing 5" heeled boots with my normal drab clothes... though to be honest even my drab is anything but as I have a "style" of hawaiian shirts (usually bright blues) and Bondage pants(you know those baggyish pants with chains or straps, usually with colored accents) which had blue on them. So switching from knee high "combat" type boots to high heels wasn't a huge jump for people around me and I did get some looks and comments but I got things like "wow those are amazing" and "I can't even walk in heels that high" and stuff like that.

Next step for me was wearing skirts and blouses... I have had friends over while wearing stuff, no other real change besides skirts, blouses, occasionally my heels and I don't get much in the way of comments, things just keep going like nothing was different. I don't pass, too much hair(working on it) tall, broad, and a little over weight(all in my stomach >.<) but I will not let that stop me from dressing how I want. I have even (twice now) gone out dressed in heels, skirt, and blouse. Both times I was with my girlfriend(SO) which really helped me feel strong. But nothing else done really(no makeup, still have hair, etc), wore some thigh high stockings but otherwise I was a guy in a skirt, and no one made a big deal out of it so It was great!

I say do what you want, where what you want. I do suggest getting a friend who knows to go with you cause having my SO with me or friends has made a huge difference in my confidence level, but otherwise experiment try things, and see what feels right for you!

[KlaireLarnia]

Thanks for all the views and positive experiences. I am quite surprised that this is more common than I realised and obviously not as much of a deal either.

My plan was to test the water with shoes as they are less obvious as people tend to look forward and not down, so it is the body that is seen more than the feet - but if it went well then I may venture into other things.

I sadly have no one I can do this with. My wife is a no-no as she is mostly against it and I am not going to try and push her into accepting something she has not for the last 5 years. None of my friends know I do this and at this time - that is how I want it. Sadly I am also limited at work. Despite working in an office of around 10 women and 1 other man, I would not be happy dressing in any way noticeably there. I would rather keep work/social/private apart at this time in my life.

I would love to wear Bras more as I am (thanks to getting fat) getting man-boobs sadly so there may come a use for wearing them oddly. But at work I am in an office in jeans and a t-shirt. While I can partially hide the signs of a bra with a racer-back clip to pull the straps into the middle of my back, I cannot mask the rest easily. So again at work I am extremely limited, and changing clothes to drive home is not practical due to the open carpark outside work and living on a busy street. So at the moment is only business trips I could dress up for.

I have a few other thoughts but I will post these in a separate topic later on.

I am very grateful for all the replies so far, and as I said amazed at them too. It is encouraging to know I am not alone in this and that what I am planning is something many have thought of and done. It makes me feel more comfortable and happy that my thoughts are not excessive or bazaar.

One last thing. ReineD: I understand your points and you are absolutely right in regards to peoples views and engrained belifs on things. But as I said, I have never wanted to pass as a female and while it may be easier to do what I want if I make the effort - it would go against my current views and desires. Maybe there will be a time I may have to do this, but as it stands - that time is not now. But thank you for being honest and showing me something which rightly needs to be considered.

Thanks
Klaire

[Michaella]

I very much enjoy stretching the boundaries of what a male can wear. I have also worn traditionally "female" items when presenting as male. I've worn nail polish, frilly blouses, high heel boots, and even skirts (not all at the same time) as a male, and it's never created a problem. I was careful to select the sort of places I would go to do this. And I wear earrings all the time, sometimes more elaborate femme-styles, and usually wear nylons.

Of late I have also tried presenting as a woman. Quoting Satrana, above:
"When I am in my house I make zero effort to blend in, I just wear whatever combination of male or female clothes I like. But in public I still go with the makeup and wig and forms. Why? Because the more I conform to the gender norm, the more the people I interact with are at ease. Secondly the makeup and hair disguises my male self so I am more self confident knowing my male persona is unrecognizable."

That's very much what I do these days, but I'm still interested in the gender bender approach too. I fully support your interest in it and hope it works out for you.

Michaella

[KlaireLarnia]

I very much enjoy stretching the boundaries of what a male can wear. I have also worn traditionally "female" items when presenting as male. I've worn nail polish, frilly blouses, high heel boots, and even skirts (not all at the same time) as a male, and it's never created a problem. I was careful to select the sort of places I would go to do this. And I wear earrings all the time, sometimes more elaborate femme-styles, and usually wear nylons.

I am not sure I could currently go that that sort of lengths. Earrings are out (not got pierced earrings and clip on earrings hurt too much for me). At the moment I am just looking at basic simple items which do not stand out too much but are comfortable to wear/cover as needs. Again I am also wary due to the places I may be seen and the type of people who may see me.

But again the reassurance that others have done and do it makes me feel a lot better about it all.

Klaire

[jjjjohanne]

I call it going out "androgenously enfemme". I first tried wearing woman's khaki pants, a woman's top, and Keds to the mall. No one noticed. I also went out in shorts with pantyhose. I was a man in all girls' clothes. No one ever noticed. Later I tried dark pantyhose. Then a few times, I tried a skirt with the outfit. No one ever confronted me. I would get disapproving looks. When what I was wearing was obvious (dark hose or a skirt) I would get long stares. Store clerks would treat me rather normally. The most negative reaction I ever got was some guy in the mall saw me and he told his friend who walked out to where he could see me and they laughed. I was 50 yards away from them or more. Once a couple girls working at a shop in the mall laughed at me as I walked by. A more friendly experience was when I was in a skirt and heels in a large clothing store. I was stepping onto an escalator when a woman asked me, "Was it a bet?" I turned to her and her female companion and said, "No." and smiled.

Going out in those outfits has no doubt injured my heart. That was SO stressful!

[Emma England]

You should ask every woman who wears pants the question "was it a bet?".

They won't have a clue what you are on about!

[sissystephanie]

My late wife passed away over 5 years ago. She was totally of my crossdressing and always did my wig and makeup when I was going to go out as Stephanie. Now that she is no longer here to do those things, I go out differently. I still dress totally enfemme, from the skin out! But I wear no wig or makeup. I am just me, a definite man, in a skirt or dress! I have been doing it since she passed, and have never had any problems. Sure, I do get some looks but I just ignore them. I do get compliments on my outfits, and have ladies ask me where I got my skirt or top!!

I also have no desire to be a woman, I am a male! I dress simply because I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothing. Been doing it for about 70 years so it is second nature to me!

[melissacd]

I no longer have any male clothes. I made a decision because of all that I had been through to get here that I had to a) make it worth it by changing my lifestyle completely, b) that I had to be true to myself and c) that I had to enjoy my life and to do that I had to get rid of the things that brought me down and one of the big areas was male clothing - so - poof - all gone and replaced by female clothing exclusively. I have not worn any male clothing for almost three years now and I feel so much better for it.

[banootcd]

mmm nice .. I had simler expriance like that excpt that I had an underwear under my jeans and when I was driving in the car I took the jeans off. that was nice experince to me.

overall, I love to wear langerie when I get the chance under my my men clothes when I ge out of home.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Klaire, 90% or more of the time I spend in women's clothes, I'm dressed as a man. In fact the only times in the past year since publicly coming out as a crossdresser that I did dress as a female, were to a specifically transgender event, and for a halloween costume. Otherwise I present as male.

The thing is, it really isn't something you can be skiddish about. I did it a couple of times before I was really ready for it and the experience was so heart racing and nervewracking that I didn't really enjoy myself, but now I almost forget what I'm wearing sometimes, or at least I would if I wasn't so happy about it. I am sort of reminded about what I have on every time I pass a woman wearing a skirt.

[Jason+]

Add 10 percent to Ryan and you will have me even when I am as dressed up as I get. I can understand the not wanting to conform part as well. Growing up I never seemed to meet the boy standard long before I knew what a CD was or that I might be one. Now that I am one, adding a wig, forms or more makeup than lipstick is just conforming to somebody else's expectations and doesn't feel true to me.

[davemcwish]

Klaire,

Im very grateful that you started this thread as I'm in the same position as a number of the subsequent posters. I have always thought that I was a bit different in that I desired 'clothes from the other side of the store' (as I call it) but have no desire at all to attempt to present as anything other than male. I'm very lucky as, like Tracy X Cruz have a SO that accepts who I am. Being Scottish it wasn't too difficult, once I got the courage, to start wearing plain skirts, of kilt length, and masculine shirts in public, I alternate with wearing jeans or leggings and I stay away from dresses and anything with flowers and/or frills. I only once had an experience of being mocked but that was in the evening at a local store by some kids - I just carried on walking into a shop and ignored them; this did unnerve me quite a bit but am ok now. I don't dress like this in front of family and friends though. All I would add is take your time and be confortable with what you wear.

[Kayleigh-Marie]

I'll shall say a few things...

Firstly...the first line of one of Madonna's songs:

Girls can wear jeans
And cut their hair short
Wear shirts and boots
'Cause it's OK to be a boy
But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
'Cause you think that being a girl is degrading
But secretly you'd love to know what it's like
Wouldn't you
What it feels like for a girl

I am surprised your partner isn't allowing you to dress up around her, most women are completely lenient, its the males who are the ones who mock.

There is no escaping the fact that each and everyone of us has a Male, a Female and a Child inside. The crossdressing, like with me is for comfort and my female side showing through

Read my signature below, my friend told me that and it so true

[Emma England]

Kayleigh, I agree with your signature.

There will always someone moaning, so you might as well do what you want to do.

[KlaireLarnia]

I am surprised your partner isn't allowing you to dress up around her, most women are completely lenient, its the males who are the ones who mock.

Not strictly true if you ask me. I actually think that a lot of women are against it due to the infringement on their world - but as men tend to be more aggressive and overpowering, a woman is more likely to tolerate something to keep the peace and life easier.

My wife is totally against it. It goes against almost every atom in her body (with exception of wearing womens knickers). That said she is of an eastern origin and upbringing so has a vastly different set of values to myself. She has also stated that she sees it as overstepping the boundaries between men and women. When I challenged her to why women can wear trousers, shirts - heck even mens clothes literally - her response was simply to shrug and say cause we can... Can't win that one can I?

I agree with you that all people have more than one side to our personalities. Some are more dominant than others. I see mine as a male and female. Sadly the male side is still a boy at heart and a sarcastic and silly one at that. It is a good mix but one which can be hard to balance at times.

Klaire

[Kayleigh-Marie]

Not strictly true if you ask me. I actually think that a lot of women are against it due to the infringement on their world - but as men tend to be more aggressive and overpowering, a woman is more likely to tolerate something to keep the peace and life easier.

Oh... well 100% of the women I told including my partner and sister are fine with it so thats where I got surprised. But yes different cultures see things differently.....

[Tracy X Cruz]

When I challenged her to why women can wear trousers, shirts - heck even mens clothes literally - her response was simply to shrug and say cause we can...

Ouch... that wounds me... I really don't like when people assume what the cultural norm is now is how it has to be and how it always has been. Women fought for so long and fought so hard for equal rights and the clothing in part is a sign of that. It used to be for them like it is for us now trying to wear a skirt. People who don't question... don't look at why... don't think about things from both sides hurt me physically... they don't make me angry really...

They make me sad.

[ReineD]

Women fought for so long and fought so hard for equal rights and the clothing in part is a sign of that. It used to be for them like it is for us now trying to wear a skirt.

As sad as it is, and I do agree that it is sad, there is a huge difference between your two examples. The percentage of women to the total population (say it is 50%), is much greater than the percentage of TGs, which I'm guessing is between a fraction of 1% and 5% depending on where you get the statistics.

If there were as many GMs wanting to wear women's clothes as there were GGs wanting to wear slacks, society would soon change its attitudes as well. It would have no choice.

[Tracy X Cruz]

If there were as many GMs wanting to wear women's clothes as there were GGs wanting to wear slacks, society would soon change its attitudes as well. It would have no choice.

I agree... I am not saying that it will change soon if at all... I think I was saying I would expect(ok actually would wish/hope)for a woman to understand a little bit more the reason why she is able to wear pants... that it wasn't always that way and have a little more understanding for man wanting equal treatment in clothing.

I am just sad that that isn't the case is all...

[ReineD]

I would expect(ok actually would wish/hope)for a woman to understand a little bit more the reason why she is able to wear pants... that it wasn't always that way and have a little more understanding for man wanting equal treatment in clothing.

I'm a supportive SO and I'm there. So are all the other supportive SOs, after having taken the time to learn about this. But how do we get the other 99% of society to join in, when they have no reasons to become aware since they don't have TGs in their families that would require them to become enlightened?

[shaq91]

I'm always in male mode lol. When i dress up i just put on a girls outfit & heels but i don't wear wigs or make up. I do paint my toes or put on lipstick sometimes though. I experimented with make up but i'm not really good with it.

[Satrana]

People who don't question... don't look at why...They make me sad.

You should not be sad. People may learn from their own experiences but we never learn from the experiences of others. To say that women should be understanding of our cause because of femininsim would be to suggest all men be anti-war due to the horrors of WWI and WWII. That does not work either.

All but the oldest female members here grew up with femininist goals already/mostly achieved and the use of male clothes a given. They have taken it for granted all their lives so there is no reason to expect them to empathisize with our demands. After all there is no obvious connection between feminism and transgenderism. One is a social movement the other is an individual need.

The sad truth is CDers are emerging out of the woodwork several decades too late to capitalize on the gender bending issues feminism created during the 60s, 70s and 80s. If feminist rights were being fought here and now then for sure many women would see the connection and the degree of understanding would be substantially higher.

Look at the hippie movement in the 60s - men with long hair and flowers behind their ear and wearing brightly colored smocks - that was an example of cis men gender blending taking feminine ideals to heart, also the glam rockers of the 70s. So there was an opportunity then for men to break free and mirror women in gender blending but that opportunity was lost because men still had to work to support their families and the competitive/macho workplace did not allow for such behavior. Men's single dominating role as family provider meant they could not follow in women's footsteps.

[ReineD]

Look at the hippie movement in the 60s - men with long hair and flowers behind their ear and wearing brightly colored smocks - that was an example of cis men gender blending taking feminine ideals to heart, also the glam rockers of the 70s.

You always make such interesting points!

But the difference as I understand it, between the 60's hippies, the 70's glam rockers, and TGs is that the hippies and glam rockers did not attempt to present as women. They were solid in their male identities and this is why their looks were accepted. Even within those groups, there were marked differences between female and male presentation.

I asked a question some years ago, would the TGs here buy skirts and dresses designed for men if they were widely available and accepted in our society. Most said no, because their goal was to present as women and not men. I wish I could find the thread.

Same with hair. My SO made an interesting point the other day. She said that if we lived in a society where it was customary for women to be bald and men to have long, flowing locks, the TGs would want to shave their heads.

Clothing styles change and who knows if in the future skirts for men will not be widely available. They are practical, especially in the summer. But if they ever do become popular, I doubt most members here would want to wear them. They'd instead opt for the skirt that women wear.

And if ever the gender gap in clothing should disappear entirely, if all the skirts and pants were to be made available for both genders in all the fabrics and colors, I think the TGs would find different aspects of themselves to change, in order to present more as women than men.

[DeeDee1974]

While I do enjoy fully transforming, most mornings I get as my male self, throw on panties and a skirt and take my dogs for a walk as a man in a skirt. I can feel very feminine without full makeup or a wig