Are You Two Different People?

[Niki-]

... I'm not talking split personalities here.

Crossdresser, tranny, whatever you label you've placed on yourself, when it's "her" time, do you find that you are conscious about the way you behave and present yourself, or does your sub-conscious kick in and it's a natural uninhibited change in how you behave and present yourself?

... or is there no change at all from guy to girl mode?

Walking, talking, mannerisms, etc is not what I'm curious about. Think more along the lines of personality.

For me personally, I think Niki and "him" share some traits, but are definitely two different people. He is quiet/shy while taking everything in, but once comfortable opens up, and holds conversations. But not a guy who enters a room, commanding attention and acting like an idiot. "Niki" is still quiet/shy, but gets attention in a room without seeking it and is more like a guys girl... the one of a couple girls in a group of guys that is quite feminine, but can definitely take care of herself and drink the boys under the table.

I find it interesting that there's things "he" wouldn't do, but Niki would do in a heartbeat.

Just curious if this is less common, 50/50, or more common amongst us as it has come up in conversation a few times with friends.

[sherib]

Although I'm in the closet and my wife dosen't approve of participate she said my personality change when I'm in my female mode. Sometimes I can feel the change, sometimes it just feels right.

[Ashley_Marie]

Once upon a time I could see a change in my personality, now I think both Gabrielle and him have merged into one person and when I get dressed it ends up just feeling right.

[holly_n_ok]

Totally seperate and different people. I act and feel so different when Im Holly. In boy mode I never look at other guys or have feeling of wanting to be with one but holly has had those thoughts. I love both and could never choose just being one.

[Rachel Morley]

My personality is pretty much the same whether I'm in girl mode or guy mode. My friends tell me that they think I'm "quiet". I suppose I am, I know I don't like being the center of attention. I know you were not referring to walking, talking, mannerisms, etc .. but for the record, they're about the same too. I don't "become someone else" when I'm dressed, I'm just presenting and feeling more feminine than usual.

[Mikaela]

Same as you Niki, not split personalities, but more like left brain/right brain. Anyone who has done any sort of art will know the perceptual differences. That's the sort of shift I experience. In fact, I think Mikaela may be that right side trying to get me to do artistic and creative things again.

[Jason+]

Just one of me here as well. A number of girls have mentioned the "switch" in how they feel or who they are attracted to or behave when they are dressed vs. drab, but I don't seem to have one of those. My thought processes and mannerisms have always tended towards the effeminate side anyways.

[linnea]

I don't think that my personality is different in either mode.

[docrobbysherry]

Except in the way we look. In that way;

We r COMPLETELY different!

[Sophiewouldbenice]

Lol, so I just erased my long answer:

I would say in male mod, I am more emotionless and hard at the first view (sometimes a leak of self-conscious, or I am angry). Also I expect better behaviour of others and do normally tell them otherwise. I am doing martial arts and I really do like fighting - not on the street
Often trying to be a strong man, but in the last years this changed a little bit ^^

I had for 3 years long permed hair, then sometimes dyed eye lashes, thinner eye brows, or diagonal bangs, a hairless body and more girly styled hair. So there is really a change, depending on my mood, I also did wear woman cloth, for everyone to see (one time). But thats good, also the insecurity in facing others, who crossdress or are gay changed. In past I thought to be to open minded for every one the see, would reveal my own crossdressing - now I ve alos some gay friends and it becomes fine - ok a little strange feelings stays, but I know, that they are more self
-conscious than me - so some day, this last insecurity will also vanish.

In fem mod, I try to focus on softness and I recognized, that I am much more self-conscious, while walking outside, only it it two times, where others were. I really did not care about laughing, which of course happened. It was a walk through a touristic region of Berlin. Somehow, I hoped, s.o. would talk to me - unfortunaltey only almost every prostitude did like: Come over you buggered ... - well one was really nice, despite I declined her services - damn she was a prostitude, she was the nicest person this night.

By the way, I saw some crossdressers at the train station, and one looked really insecure (I way there as a boy), I just wanted to be nice and asked him, why he is so insecure, just wantes to add, that he looked nice and so on. But he was really offending and chased me away in a verbal way.

Well, now the text is long again with some short off-topic parts ^^

[NathalieX66]

Nope.

I just have to walk differently while in heels, hopefully the right way, as to not appear as Stompy the Elephant.

[AKAMichelle]

I still have some male mannerisms as they were pointed out to me last night but it seems very natural to be Michelle

[Shelby]

Prior to cding, I have been acting in theater productions since I was 13. When you are on stage, you are trying to recall the next line, next location to move to or the next mannerism to project all the while being in character. It is like having 2 minds in 1 body. There was a great episode on Star Trek Voyager when the Doctor inhabited the body of Seven of Nine. He controlled her every action and word, but she was very aware of what he was doing to her and she chewed him out later for even eating cheesecake.

When I dress as Shelby, I am still very much in control of what she does, but I let her character shine through more. She is perhaps more reserved then my male persona only because I am comfortable with who I am as a guy. As I do more outings as Shelby, she will get more comfortable and be more confident and capable of being her own person.

Shelby

[Inna]

No way I am just one single person who....... wait a minute, who is there? Hellooooo! I swear I heard someone. Well as I was saying, I........... this is very strange, I have the feeling someone else is in the room, I smell a female, Hm, and a pretty female at that. There, in the closet, quick, she is hiding! What the heck are you doing here woman? you want what? save me!!!? who are you? my guardian angel! well I knew it was true but I didn't know they made you so fine up there. so you want to save me from what? The monster underneath my bed? wait the second, I'll have a look. What are you doing under my bad, man? Just checking my mattress for lint? Really!!!!? No I need the truth right now!!!!!!!!!! So you are the bloke who runs the show. What show? my pretend I am alive show?!!!!! Wow, that is a lot of news for a day................ Wait, who is that behind the curtain?

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Without sounding too crazy. Me and my male side are 2 different entities that occupy the same space. We share a lot in common but also have very different opinions, and behaviors.

[PretzelGirl]

I am one that can't comprehend two different people. I am me dressed or not. Now I will express myself more dressed because I am more comfortable with myself when dressed. But those are expressions I am stifling in homme mode as opposed to not even feeling them.

[sandra-leigh]

I am me dressed or not. Now I will express myself more dressed because I am more comfortable with myself when dressed.

That's part of the reason I tend to go by my male name even when fully dressed. Where does "he" end and "she" begin?

I wear women's clothes nearly all the time including at work. I wear earrings and long hair and bras and blouses and tights and leggings to work (yeah, all at the same time some days ) If my boss is away (and thus not likely to wander in to my office) I sometimes wear forms at work. When I walk, the changing reflection of light off of my tops at the level of my natural bust highlights that that I have breast development even though it isn't enough to show up when I'm standing still.

Does "she" only start when I put on a wig, or am I only "she" when I wear something unmistakable like a skirt? Where is the line in the sand?

I'm not saying that I don't feel different when I go out in public in a skirt or dress: I do, and it feels good and feels peaceful, and it feels like for a while I've stopped lying: "Look world, there is no maybe about it, I am this way!"

[pernille d]

i am also one the same personality wise .nothing different there .

but i can tell you that pernille does pay more attention to looking smart than in drab+ she has an amazing confidence compaired to male mode, .maybe i am wrong or maybe right but i do think we all change a little bit from mode to another but thr foundations of personallity remain in both modes.

[Crissy Kay]

I sort of feel like two different people at times. When I"m all dressed up as "Crissy" I feel rather fem, and happy too. In male mode, I feel like a regular guy, into my male hobbies, gun stuff, etc. Still, I must admit, if I don"t get my "Crissy" time in, I feel all bummed out for some reason that I cannot explain!!!

[Lisa Renee]

I feel more relaxed in fem mode and I have been told I do things different and seem to be a lot different

[Kate Simmons]

More or less, I guess Hon. Just don't tell the IRS, okay?

[StaceyJane]

I'm the same person whowever I'm dressed. It's always me.

[Barbara Dugan]

I am basically the same just in femme I dont need to act like in male mode

[Annaliese2010]

... I'm not talking split personalities here... For me personally, I think Niki and "him" share some traits, but are definitely two different people....I find it interesting that there's things "he" wouldn't do, but Niki would do in a heartbeat...

No not "split personality" for me - cuz I think thats a rare psych disorder where someone can suddenly become a different personality & is out of control crazy.

For me I would say there are two separate highly developed personalities that have more differences than commonalities. They co-exist but never co-express. When I am ON he does not go away, is aware to some degree, but like in the basement celler (god, that sounds creepier than it is, believe me, lol...). In other words his personality is not alive, its hibernating, frozen out. It's only MY personality, my thoughts feelings tastes desires interests and just all the ways I am and things I say and do that predominate. I am me. I am real. I live I think I feel I desire I plan I reflect I learn I grow I have fun I live life I...experience the world and other people from this my private perspective.

I pre-exist. I'm not invented, designed, imagined, constructed scripted or acted. It's just as much a mystery to me where I come from as it is for him. All I can say is I come from someplace deeply subjective. The root origin of me is below anything I do, how I behave, dress, think or feel... It is more fundamental, elemental, mysterious, someplace far away... beyond the wind... beyond the rain... "Somewhere ohh ver the rainbow, skys are blue.." Oops! LOL

[Teri Jean]

Niki, first off may I say you look great? Okay I did. LOL Now I am me and that person is the wonderful woman who has so many experiances that most women do not have but also they have more than I will ever have. I think we carry all those lifes experiances and what we do with them has a lot to do as how we are treated and viewed.

When I started my transition at work the guys I worked with were concerned as to who was going to do my work. I do building repair work for a university. Wall to wall, roof to foundations; so there is those jobs that are physical. I think over the past year they have changed their minds as to what I am willing to do and in some ways above and beyond their expectations.

So being one's self and building upon our list of experiances can make one more desireable and sought after.