Are we narcissistic?

[yazooey]

Hey everyone,
I was just looking over my old posts and threads and reading through what I was thinking at that moment. It really made me a little embarrassed in that I am completely narcissistic. Now, as my male self I am further from my femme side in that I generally deflect attention from myself. Compliments make me feel a little uncomfortable so I quickly turn the compliment onto someone else.

Now when I start a thread to share with you all I don't come out and say, "Hey, look at me and tell me how I look." Rather, I post pictures to share myself with you all but eventually, I start to receive comments and sometimes compliments and I start to love the attention. I graciously accept compliments and then I start to check hourly to see who else has commented or complimented. I think that this is a rather ugly trait of "Natalie" That's my femme name by the way.

If I've ever rubbed anyone in the wrong way please accept my apologies. I do, however, love to look at everyone's pictures and I have to admit that I don't comment all the time. When I do comment I am pretty certain that I am always complimentary.

Does anyone else feel this way about their alter-ego femme side?

[Lauren415]

I know I am!

[Alice Torn]

Yes, for various reasons, I am a self centered narcissist. Baby of the family, but bullied and constantly put down by older brothers, at school, on jobs. I was forced to look at myself, forced to make adjustments, and that is not wrong. I am self-centered, but, do volunteer to assist others who are hurting. I have come to realize that even my good works, are too often ego-centered, to make me feel good about me. But, i suppose that is better, than deliberrately doing harm. No SO, or kids. Just me and my cats. Single folks do have a tough time, with this, and CDing throws another secret self into it. Channeling my self centeredness, into being the best person i can be, despite serious dysfunctions, and doing some good for others , and the Higher Power, is all one can do. Cding has made me better in some ways, but maybe more secretive and self centered, too.

[sandra-leigh]

I do not feel as much empathy for others as I aspire to, but I was told fairly firmly that I am not narcistic.

[kimdl93]

I'm sure I am somewhat nacissistic...but isn't almost everyone? Freud believed that some narcissism is an essential part of all of us from birth.[1] Andrew P. Morrison claims that, in adults, a reasonable amount of healthy narcissism allows the individual's perception of his(her) needs to be balanced in relation to others.(courtesy Wikipedia)

[Sarah Doepner]

Natalie,

I've worn out 3 mirrors in my attempt to find just the right outfit, hair and makeup. I stare at every photo wondering how everyone gets their best look. I am so superficial there's only one side to me at times. Enough about me, what do you think about me?

It is natural to be absorbed and interested in the process of this transformation we attempt. Is it narcissistic? Probably to a point, but at times it's an appreciation for the magic that gets done and how it changes our perception of that image we have been watching for years in the mirror. When it gets to the point where everthing you do is focused on your image and you let friends, family and other responsibilities fall to the wayside, then it's a problem. The rest of the time there isn't much wrong with looking for those comments and especially those compliments.

[carhill2mn]

I am very much like you. As a male I am not anxious to have my photo taken (an old man, you know) but when en femme I take lots of photos and share many. I much prefer looking at photos of my fem self!

[AKAMichelle]

I am in denial.

[sissystephanie]

I am ME, nothing more and nothing less!!

[Tara1967]

I also feel the same way. I get compliments as a man and it can sometimes embarass me. But as Tara I do seek approval from everyone on this site on my pics. I do feel very up lifted when I would get compliments on them. And it's not to hook up, but it's just getting the reassurances on the scale of passablity, and I think that passabilty is what we all want and we all do our best. Some CD's here look a lot better than I do for passing. I know that. I mean when we transform to being a woman, we look, act, and think like woman. So in that aspect, just like real women, we like compliments on our feminine looks. How is this dress or skirt, etc. But narcistic? Only unless we do the same when in man mode could we be somewhat narcistic. Just as one poster here talked of upbringing and of being bullied in school and at work and have always been put down by so many for so long, sometimes we reach out and desire that sense of belonging and acceptance and of being a peer. It's easy for so many in the world, but for some of us we have to ask for things.

[Christie ann]

yes, pretty much but really no more than any other person I have met

[Andrea Reynolds]

No. At least I don't believe I am. Sure, I try to be the girl I think I should be. I like attention. I do feel the spotlight was meant for me. However, I feel that my egotism blocks out any narcissistic tendencies. Andrea

[5150 Girl]

I'm quite self loathing in drab, But, yes, when dressed, I can be quite vain. Vanity is my gretest sin I think.
However, if I were to have the opritunity to be me more often, I think a lot of that vanity would subside.

[LitaKelley]

I am very much like you. As a male I am not anxious to have my photo taken (an old man, you know) but when en femme I take lots of photos and share many. I much prefer looking at photos of my fem self!

That sounds just like me, lol.. I HATE seeing myself in photos or in the mirror, but when en femme, oh my.. I just love seeing my pretty self.

[Kathryn Martin]

Narcissism is when you can't stop looking at yourself and are in love with yourself and your looks in an unhealthy way. It is not vanity which is more trying to be perfect in your looks and often when it gets out of hand to go to far with what you will do to achieve the look.

I am not narcissistic, I have much compassion and empathy for others and while I love who I am I am not unrealistic about myself and am not in love with myself.

I am vain, especially at this time of full tilt boogie exploration of becoming a woman in my outer expression. I know that will calm down as soon as I have found the right look for me and have found the right kind of clothes to express that.

What you describe is in my view an entirely natural trait of all TG/CD in that we in some ways desperately seek validation for our female presentation. I do not think that is either narcissistic or vain.

Interesting thread this

Kathryn

[Jenna Stunned]

Oh god yes. I'm a total narcissist. Only when I'm dressed though. Not that I think I'm all that but more because I like to see the transformation.

[Jay Cee]

In my male life, I shrug off compliments with self deprecating comments.

Here, online, oh..... I just soak in any and all compliments about my appearance. Or, I guess my legs, as that is all that I have shown.

[Barbara Dugan]

I try not to be.

[Pattie O]

"Ego Is Not A Dirty Word"-song from Skyhooks back in the 70's would sum it up I think.

[docrobbysherry]

If ANYONE says anything nice about how I look, I just KNOW they're LYING or WANT something!

But, Sherry!? That attention hoor? If she doesn't get compliments all the time, she's a screaming be-atch!

Oh! And PLEASE don't tell her I SAID THAT!

[Samantha Girl]

As others have said before me... In guy mode I shrink from compliments, even if they are well deserved. As an artist I receive a good amount of complimets on my artwork, and it makes me feel awesome, especially if it's of the more constructive kind. And yet I still shrink a bit even from art compliments, I rarely want to be anywhere near the center of attention.

I am somewhat narcissistic though in that I really like myself and am generally happy with who I am and my interests and how I behave myself. In terms of my Samantha time, I'm pretty much the same person however I present myself. Though I do seem to enjoy compliments more when I'm dressed up then in drab. I think that just goes to the fact that dressing up as a woman and trying to emulate women (I don't really try to pass, my style is too ****ty and outlandish for that) is HARD work! Doing my hair and makeup, shaving almost everything on my body, putting together a fun & stylish outfit and then actually going out en femme and receiving compliments is an awesome validation of the work I'm putting into this aspect of my life

BTW, picture compliments are always welcome! Makes a girl feel great... go look now!!! No wait, let me upload a new album first!

[Ashleythenewgirl]

Maybe it's a desire to improve hence the looking at ones self and soliciting comments. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with that. It's entirely possible to confuse that with narcissism. Trust me I have known my share of people who are narcissistic and they do not try to improve themselves in any way shape or form. It's different here.

[Starr]

of course.. what is wrong with that.. we love seeing the new us.

[TxKimberly]

You know if I have to apologize for that sort of thing, I'm going to be terribly busy AND I'm gonna wear the paint off of the letters on my keyboard. . .

[DonnaT]

Well, I like looking at my legs.