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Thread: hey, how are my gay male crossdressers doing?

  1. #1
    Member maya1love's Avatar
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    hey, how are my gay male crossdressers doing?

    I'm always interested in bringing my sub-sorority of gay male crossdressers together to talk about issues important to us. I was wondering if any of you ladies have been dating any guys recently.

    Dating continues to be very tricky for me. I like guys that are very straight looking, and I happen to be a softer gay male (who dresses). I was recently at a week long gay retreat with about 150 gay men. It was great, but I couldn't help feel left out because the straight looking guys seemed to be attracted to the other straight looking guys. (sigh) So, I came home, and put an ad on craigslist looking for a straight looking guy that likes fem guys who crossdress...seems like these guys are mostly bi, and would never commit to me openly...oh well...I would be curious to hear your experiences of late.

    ps. Let's keep this post on topic regarding gay male crossdressers and our dating experiences with men

  2. #2
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    I am on my part really struggling on the dating department. I can get sex any moment I want but those moments are short lived and most straight acting guys see you only as a sexual fantasy.
    What I really long is for a real stable relationship. I am think I am ready for one but everyday seem harder to reach

    I am sorry This thread is making me depressed
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 09-04-2010 at 12:23 PM. Reason: merged

  3. #3
    Member maya1love's Avatar
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    Don't be discouraged, Barbara! Although there are fewer men who like us and would be suitable partners for us, we only need one man. I seem to have discovered a way to weed out the good ones from the not so good ones. I think the problem that alot of TVs have is that because they are in the closet, they can't attract a suitable man. When I gained confidence to go out in the mainstream dressed, I was able to change my internet personal ads to say that I wanted to go out to dinner or a movie with a man dressed with no expectation of sex. If you have an ad that says that you are just looking for a nice evening with a man, and that you are confident out in public dressed up, you will attract a better crop of men.

  4. #4
    Junior Member msjessgill's Avatar
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    Hi,

    I have had some success in the dating department as of late. Especially this one guy I met, he and I find each others company to be warm, loving, and engaging. He is straight acting and is wonderful about what i do as well (dressing), and we have been out as a couple too!!

  5. #5
    Senior Member joannemarie barker's Avatar
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    I'm still umming and aaahing about my sexuality but there's one guy I know that gives me butterflies in my stomach everytime I see him.think he's straight though

  6. #6
    firesoul Byanca's Avatar
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    I have the same problem. I have my page on the main gay site, and I get lots of replays. But 99% is sex, sex and sex. To the point that I don't bother to replay much to what is coming in anymore. I will have to be more specific and clear. The last thing I am interested in is some shady hidden sex meeting because they live double lives. It's quite depressing at times.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member MiraM's Avatar
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    Looks as though I will be trying to get back into the dating scene again eventually. Unfortunately, there does not seem to be much in this area for Gays unless one wanted to go to Norfolk or Richmond...neither of which is an option for me. It looks like most 'dating' sites are geared towards hetero's or quick hookups, and Craig's list is all about 'straight' (sorry, but if you are a guy having sex with a guy you are not straight) guys wanting to get some on the side from a guy. Not sure what I am going to do once I am ready to start dating again. Oh well, there are other things to worry about first like finding a roommate so I don't wind up living in the woods.

  8. #8
    firesoul Byanca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alicia_Marie View Post
    (sorry, but if you are a guy having sex with a guy you are not straight)
    Well, I'm not a guy. But gay sites are full of bisexuals. Even straight ones looking for CD/TS etc. As long as they like different roles, I only do the woman part, then it's all good. But I expect most/all gay guys to pass me over. I also go to the gay pub. And both the males and females there look at me as different-and I guess I am(probably a hetero woman-slightly male looking). But they usually accept me, so then that's fine. I call it the safe house. I don't expect to find romance there, but I have in the past, with a bisexual one, that was fine with me being passive.
    Last edited by Byanca; 09-03-2010 at 07:03 PM.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member MiraM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Byanca View Post
    Well, I'm not a guy. But gay sites are full of bisexuals. Even straight ones looking for CD/TS etc. As long as they like different roles, I only do the woman part, then it's all good. But I expect most/all gay guys to pass me over. I also go to the gay pub. And both the males and females there look at me as different-and I guess I am(probably a hetero woman-slightly male looking). But they usually accept me, so then that's fine. I call it the safe house. I don't expect to find romance there, but I have in the past, with a bisexual one, that was fine with me being passive.
    I am refering to the people that post on Craig's list with things like "I'm straight but I want a guy to come over and do such and such with me..." Sorry, but these people are not straight.

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    That's sometimes an issue with us Gay CDs---lucky for Me that I'm not attracted to butch types except under very special narrow circumstances---give Me a femme guy, CD, or GG anytime
    [SIZE="4"][/SIZE]

  11. #11
    Junior Member Shayna2008's Avatar
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    I want to date a guy eventually. I find myself attracted to very masculine guys; I think 98% of the guys I consider are most likely straight though. I have much work to do as Shayna though as far as getting more comfortable going out but I'm in a position where this is much easier to do now plus I have CD girlfriends to go with too, so that will help definitely. Definitely noticing the guys though!

  12. #12
    Just the girl next door. Michelle_Tokyo's Avatar
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    It has been a bit hit and miss for me lately too I admit. Recently I thought I had a good thing going with a guy who said he was totally fine with my femininity but after catching my heart, it later turned out he wanted a more masculine partner. It took him 4 months and way too many romantic dates to get around to telling me so I cried a bit. But I cannot fault him really. I also like more masculine guys.

    I guess my first clue should have been when he said he did not mind. If guy wants me because of who I am that is great, but if he simply is tolerating one part of me that is not so fine.

    Before him though I had gone through a pretty long dry spell so I would have dated almost any man at that stage. Before him I was in a long and wonderful relationship with a guy that loved me to be his princess and then work and moving caused to need to end that time of joy. But I miss him a lot and I am trying to find a new guy to take his place.

    Michelle

  13. #13
    Member María José's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ View Post
    I can get sex any moment I want but those moments are short lived and most straight acting guys see you only as a sexual fantasy.

    I agree with Barbara.

    A few days ago I was as Mar*a José in a GLT Club. I danced all the night. A lot of boys looking at me, but only one danced and talked to me. Now and then I receive internet messages from boys in my area. But they always want a meeting in a diferent town where they live.

  14. #14
    Member maya1love's Avatar
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    Thanks for the replies!

    Hi msjessgill and michelle_tokyo: I was curious -- where did you meet your boyfriends?

    I would say personally that every guy I've dated (who I dated as a man with a man) and then later told that I like to dress, were supportive of me. Two of them even bought me lingerie on special occasions! Unfortunately, something wouldn't work out and we would usually break up for other reasons. So, I think gay men are mostly more accepting than straight women, in this department. I tell a gay man that I like to dress up, and he says "so what?"

    The question that I struggle with is whether I should "market" myself as a gay man, and then tell him the truth, or be up front about it. I think I am an advocate of the former. (And actually, the advice would be the same for heterosexual cds as well.)

  15. #15
    Just the girl next door. Michelle_Tokyo's Avatar
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    The most recent guy I met on a dating site. We emailed a bit and moved on to dating. He is really nice, but a little lacking in backbone.

    The guy I was with for a longer time I met at a social event in Singapore. That was our serendipity and I think that went a long way to making it as warm a relationship as it was. We started as two men and then Michelle came to play and she stayed. He was good about it telling me I needed to choose between one or the other and I opted for Michelle at home with him and when we went out for dinner. I think the main reason was not that he liked me being Michelle, but rather that he knew that that is me and asking me not to be me was not realistic. He is a sweet man for sure. I was and am convinced he loved me for me inside not outside.

    I am not sure about straight women having issues more often than gay guys though. In my experience gay men tend to want men to be men. Therein lies the attraction. I know I want my man to be all man so I know that it is logical he may want the same.

    When I am out with straight women they always seem to support me. I was having wine at a new wine bar the other day here and was out with a couple of gals. We were talking about whatever and one of the waiters was passing behind me when gave me a very warm hug and then kept doing his job. I was a bit taken with him and my galfriends noticed and encouraged me. They were poking fun at me all night after that, snapping my bra and gently chiding me to go get his number. I assure I will be doing that. Mmmm…….

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member PrettyFlowingGown's Avatar
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    I've gone through bisexuality, and told myself a year ago, I'll never go back, but recently I've had feelings towards males again. Theres a guy at our local rsl whos a barman. I was there on sunday with a girlfreind and she noticed i kept staring at him. She said "You've been looking at him a long time". I said "Yes, hes quite nice". She said "Have you still got some gay feelings". I said "I guess i have". I dont fancy men on a whole, especially ones with beards. moustaches, hasiry chests.....YOUCK!!! but I love a good clean young man.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]I love my gorgous flowing evening and ball gowns. I love swishing in them, and feeling how beautiful and shimmering they are. I love to feel like a princess. I love to be elegant, feminine and ladylike.

  17. #17
    Golden Girl Gina X's Avatar
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    I consider myself TV and not gay but when in TV mode I could easily make love to another TV but not someone who is openly gay, so what does this make me ??

    Love Ginax
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    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maya1love View Post
    Thanks for the replies!

    The question that I struggle with is whether I should "market" myself as a gay man, and then tell him the truth, or be up front about it. )
    Honesty is always the best policy. I think I'm right in assuming that you would prefer to date as TS/man rather than man/man... So maybe the thing is to look for men who are really interested in transexuals...there are a lot of them out there...rather than traditional gay men. I bet there are some very straight-looking gay (or sorta hetero) males who would find you to be the answer to their dreams!

  19. #19
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    Honesty is always the best policy. I think I'm right in assuming that you would prefer to date as TS/man rather than man/man... So maybe the thing is to look for men who are really interested in transexuals...there are a lot of them out there...rather than traditional gay men. I bet there are some very straight-looking gay (or sorta hetero) males who would find you to be the answer to their dreams!

    That would be an ideal situation but if you market yourself as a gay man they usually run the other way around...my problem lies that sometimes they think I am a transexual or a fulltime t-girl then they start asking questions like how real are your breasts or if you are still functional and I totally agree honestly is the best policy I always disclaim what I am

  20. #20
    Junior Member msjessgill's Avatar
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    I met my current boyfriend online and we have both been extremely happy!!

    Jessica

  21. #21
    Member maya1love's Avatar
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    I'm with Barbara on that one -- I don't think it's a good idea to market myself as a transsexual to guys, because then they expect me to be a woman all the time. There are the straight looking gay guys that like feminine gay men, but they are few and far between. Still, that's what I am looking for...

    Hey, had another question for you guys -- as gay men, do you find that you are gay acting? Do people know that you are gay from your interests, your voice, etc. I would say that I am in the middle in terms of my mannerisms. Most people know that I am gay pretty soon after meeting me. I am slight, soft looking, talk with a gayish voice and love Madonna and Cher. How about you guys?

  22. #22
    Senior Member joannemarie barker's Avatar
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    Not sure my habits and such out of girly mode are that fem really.I am attracted to some masculine men but I kinda like soft spoken effeminate guys,something about them that's really cute

  23. #23
    Just the girl next door. Michelle_Tokyo's Avatar
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    I guess I do act overtly gay to some extent, but not all the time. My eyebrows are super femme looking and I talk rather effeminately when with gals. Around guys that are straight though I tend to act more male. At the gym I dress with strappy women’s tanktops and tuck inside of my cycling shorts and have no hair below the neck so that is a pretty big hint. But my interests in conversation with women is pretty obvious, not so much with guys at work. Self-preservation.

  24. #24
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    I wax my eyebrows and I have been shaving my body for a long time but recently some guys at work noticed it and now the rummor started that I may be gay....I am not out at work because is not safe to do it but people with a normal gaydar can read me pretty esay

  25. #25
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    This is one of the best threads on this forum for me.

    I'm still trying to decide whether I am trans or just a gay male transvestite. The problem is that I live as a regular gay male but I'm not naturally femme or soft.
    Finding a gay male who would be into someone like me seems to be impossible. Someone like me usually attracts gay men who look for someone who is pretty masculine so I feel like it's a bit of a false exterior. Straight and bi men want me full time and gay men hate it. So I feel like I'm at a crossroads.

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