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Thread: hey, how are my gay male crossdressers doing?

  1. #51
    Aspiring Member StarrOfDelite's Avatar
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    For years before I got divorced, I thought that I could function as an "Admirer" with other Crossdressers, and had myself convinced I was not interested in men when I was in drab myself. After four years of being on my own, without the need to hide my preferences from other family members, I am now admitting to myself that my true nature is to be the female partner irrespective of the clothes I'm wearing. I have found that I enjoy the physical act of sex as much whether I begin the encounter in men's or women's clothing. But, having said that I can also say that the emotional satisfaction is much more intense when I'm cross-dressed, and that I am much more concerned and appreciative of foreplay, kissing, massaging, and conversational intimacy when I'm interacting through my feminine side.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by maya1love View Post
    This is for all those that identify as mostly gay male crossdressers -- if you have gay male friends, do you feel differently from them? Do you think that, aside from your dressing, that you are like them? I have been feeling that I have some things in common with my gay male friends, but I feel separate from them. It's not about the "dressing" per se -- it's more about the absence of a feminine sensibility. I'm not sure how to describe it. My gay friends still think like men, whereas I don't, really. I can't get turned on being a man with another man (or with a woman, for that matter). I need to be feminine with a man. What is your experience?
    ABSOLUTELY. that's why it's so hard to find a man. and why i consider transitioning all the time.

  3. #53
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maya1love View Post
    Hi ladies:

    Glad to see this thread is still kicking around! I actually have been meaning to post another question here for awhile, so here goes...

    This is for all those that identify as mostly gay male crossdressers -- if you have gay male friends, do you feel differently from them? Do you think that, aside from your dressing, that you are like them? I have been feeling that I have some things in common with my gay male friends, but I feel separate from them. It's not about the "dressing" per se -- it's more about the absence of a feminine sensibility. I'm not sure how to describe it. My gay friends still think like men, whereas I don't, really. I can't get turned on being a man with another man (or with a woman, for that matter). I need to be feminine with a man. What is your experience?
    Every time I told my therapist the same thing she insist I may not be gay

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ View Post
    Every time I told my therapist the same thing she insist I may not be gay
    do you think she was trying to get you to see you might be trans and not gay?

  5. #55
    Oneesan Kinky with Ink's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maya1love View Post
    Hi ladies:

    Glad to see this thread is still kicking around! I actually have been meaning to post another question here for awhile, so here goes...

    This is for all those that identify as mostly gay male crossdressers -- if you have gay male friends, do you feel differently from them? Do you think that, aside from your dressing, that you are like them? I have been feeling that I have some things in common with my gay male friends, but I feel separate from them. It's not about the "dressing" per se -- it's more about the absence of a feminine sensibility. I'm not sure how to describe it. My gay friends still think like men, whereas I don't, really. I can't get turned on being a man with another man (or with a woman, for that matter). I need to be feminine with a man. What is your experience?
    Omg my point exactly! Even when in drab and having sex I still still see myself as the woman. I'm definately the submissive in all my relationships and fem inside and out of the bedroom. I feel as if the rest of my gay friends have some things in common with me but the fact that I'm just this fem seems to turn alot of potential boyfriends away. For the most part I'm still in the closet about the dressing but wayyyyy out about being gay. Gay guys can be really critical of trans people. At least with me being gay I can be as fem as I want and most people are just like..."oh he's gay it's excusable" vs the straight and bi cd'ers on this site. Hopefully I'll find the "one" someday...*sigh*
    Beware the pink fog..........oh what the hell enjoy it. I know I certainly am!

  6. #56
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CDastoria View Post
    do you think she was trying to get you to see you might be trans and not gay?
    Yes is exactly what she thinks...its funny but when we talk I always end up talking abut things that I normally dont

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ View Post
    Yes is exactly what she thinks...its funny but when we talk I always end up talking abut things that I normally dont
    And you disagree?

    Well, maybe we are ALL kidding ourselves? that we're not gay men but really straight women?

  8. #58
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by astoria View Post
    And you disagree?

    Well, maybe we are ALL kidding ourselves? that we're not gay men but really straight women?
    I kind of disagree but actually don't try to argue much about it.. I am starting to feel really comfortable on my current situation..

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    Quote Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ View Post
    I kind of disagree but actually don't try to argue much about it.. I am starting to feel really comfortable on my current situation..
    So has she said she'd start you on hormones if you wanted?

  10. #60
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CDastoria View Post
    So has she said she'd start you on hormones if you wanted?
    We talked about it, but my goal at the moment is to balance myself emotionally first to make the right decision.
    I already stopped the Testosterone replacement therapy and been feeling better

  11. #61
    Member maya1love's Avatar
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    Hi folks -- personally, I think that I am both like a gay man and like a straight woman, but I'm not really either one. If I really wanted to transition to become a woman, I would -- but I actually don't feel like it. I don't want boobs and a vagina. I like dressing up and feeling feminine -- but not all the time.

    This thread has really taught me alot! I really do feel different than your average gay man.

  12. #62
    Aspiring Member Desiree2bababe's Avatar
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    Been all too lonely here.........I miss my men! Forget about the gay guys, they want a man not a woman. You'd have better luck going to a straight bar, especially if it's a "brothers" bar.

  13. #63
    Member TommyII's Avatar
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    Ok I read it all and it caused some introspection on a new level for me. Wouldn't it be nice to have one person that loved all of the different me's. A guy to hang with (do guy things with), a girl to shop with, share clothes with, and cry with, but always be there for a supportive hug and snuggle. Now I'm not sure anymore if I want a girl or a guy. I just want to be loved and accepted no matter who I decide I am that day.

  14. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ View Post
    We talked about it, but my goal at the moment is to balance myself emotionally first to make the right decision.
    I already stopped the Testosterone replacement therapy and been feeling better
    Ahh...so you're leaving the possibility open.

    Quote Originally Posted by maya1love View Post
    I don't want boobs and a vagina. I like dressing up and feeling feminine -- but not all the time.
    See...now when I'm with a guy (or fantasizing myself) I *DO* fantasize about having boobs and a vagina. It's not just about the clothes. Hmmm....should that tell me something?
    But I, like you, don't dress up all the time. I'm just a normal gay guy without them.

  15. #65
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CDastoria View Post
    Ahh...so you're leaving the possibility open.



    See...now when I'm with a guy (or fantasizing myself) I *DO* fantasize about having boobs and a vagina. It's not just about the clothes. Hmmm....should that tell me something?
    But I, like you, don't dress up all the time. I'm just a normal gay guy without them.
    I feel the same, I've always wondered what would be to able to dress up all the time

  16. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ View Post
    I feel the same, I've always wondered what would be to able to dress up all the time
    Yeah but is it about the clothes or about the body?

    Like, when you're with men, do you have to have the clothes? or do you just fantasize about having a female body when you're with men?

  17. #67
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CDastoria View Post
    Yeah but is it about the clothes or about the body?

    Like, when you're with men, do you have to have the clothes? or do you just fantasize about having a female body when you're with men?
    I think is more a emotional level but also have necessary lust elements I think I don't need to have the clothes to have those feelings I fantasize with guys even when not dressed ..there is a guy at work that every time I see him I feel weak on my knees... I am a little ambigous about having a female body sometimes I feel I want to have it other times I feel that I dont need it to be myself

  18. #68
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    I think is about time to ask this question...Do you believe that the heterosexual crossdreser are more tolerant to gay people than the regular population ?
    Have you ever felt some kind of prejudice from other crossdressers for being gay?

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    Quote Originally Posted by BARBARA_MELENDEZ View Post
    I think is about time to ask this question...Do you believe that the heterosexual crossdreser are more tolerant to gay people than the regular population ?
    Have you ever felt some kind of prejudice from other crossdressers for being gay?
    I don't actually know any crossdressers in "real life", just ones I've interacted with online, but I have to say that I've never had any negative comments directed towards me when I tell them that I'm gay. On the other hand, I do know quite a few gay people, and have heard many negative comments directed towards those that crossdress.

    Having said that, I consider myself very fortunate that I'm in a relationship with a man who not only accepts my crossdressing but positively encourages it. He knew right from the start, and I did my best to try and paint it in a positive light, in the sense that it was something in which we could have a lot of fun with (and we do). He's a dominant man, so I think on one level it appeals to this sense of his masculinity.

    By the way, we recently got engaged, although no date has yet been set for a wedding (we're looking at dates for next summer). I have to say, I can't wait!!!

  20. #70
    Member maya1love's Avatar
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    Jenni, congratulations! Where did you meet your fella???

  21. #71
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    Thank you maya We met around 6 months ago now through a mutual friend. A group of us were out in London, and we just hit it off straight away. Spent the whole night chatting (and flirting), swapped phone-numbers and went out on our first date a few days later. And we've never looked back since. It's been a very intense relationship, in a very good way, and I just felt that he was "the one" from very early on in our relationship. Anyway, he proposed to me a couple of weeks ago, and needless to say I immediately accepted. I honestly couldn't be happier

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    Quote Originally Posted by jenni_xx View Post
    I don't actually know any crossdressers in "real life", just ones I've interacted with online, but I have to say that I've never had any negative comments directed towards me when I tell them that I'm gay. On the other hand, I do know quite a few gay people, and have heard many negative comments directed towards those that crossdress.

    Having said that, I consider myself very fortunate that I'm in a relationship with a man who not only accepts my crossdressing but positively encourages it. He knew right from the start, and I did my best to try and paint it in a positive light, in the sense that it was something in which we could have a lot of fun with (and we do). He's a dominant man, so I think on one level it appeals to this sense of his masculinity.

    By the way, we recently got engaged, although no date has yet been set for a wedding (we're looking at dates for next summer). I have to say, I can't wait!!!
    That's amazing! May I please ask you a few things?
    How did you present it to him? What was his reaction? Are you naturally fem and he naturally masc?

  23. #73
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    Hi astoria

    I told Danny (my hubby-to-be) the first time I met him. We had a long conversation about it, and he was genuinely interested in what I had to say (funnily enough, I did get asked if I wanted to be a woman full-time, although the "are you gay" question didn't have to be asked!!). He wasn't deterred by it at all, and on our first date he brought up the subject again. I told him that it's something that both of us could enjoy, and presented little details that I felt would appeal to him (the feel of satin/silk on skin, how good it feels to be scratched by long nails, those kind of things). And also how we could have fun playing with gender roles. I am quite fem (although not effeminate) in that I've quite a small build, and not at all tall (whereas Danny is 6ft 2), so even in heels I'm still looking up to him. And like I said previously, he is very masculine and dominant, and his sense of being the man is "reaffirmed" (for want of a better word) when I'm dressed. He plays up to it, and I have to say, I love that. I think (actually, I know) that he does to. We have a lot of fun with it, and although I wouldn't necessarily say it's a central component to our relationship, it's certainly a very active part of it.

  24. #74
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenni_xx View Post
    I don't actually know any crossdressers in "real life", just ones I've interacted with online, but I have to say that I've never had any negative comments directed towards me when I tell them that I'm gay. On the other hand, I do know quite a few gay people, and have heard many negative comments directed towards those that crossdress.

    Having said that, I consider myself very fortunate that I'm in a relationship with a man who not only accepts my crossdressing but positively encourages it. He knew right from the start, and I did my best to try and paint it in a positive light, in the sense that it was something in which we could have a lot of fun with (and we do). He's a dominant man, so I think on one level it appeals to this sense of his masculinity.

    By the way, we recently got engaged, although no date has yet been set for a wedding (we're looking at dates for next summer). I have to say, I can't wait!!!
    Congratulations Jenni those are great news

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    Jenni, I'm so happy for you. I guess dreams do come true after all! I love to have the same thing happen to me. Do you think that eventually, you'd like to transition?

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