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Thread: hey, how are my gay male crossdressers doing?

  1. #201
    Aspiring Member StarrOfDelite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Yes it is hard, it does take a lot of courage, and it can take a lifetime to cut through all the rationalization.

    So, I'll change it then to understanding ourselves enough about the important stuff to know where we want our lives to go.

    How's that?
    The Jury instruction about "Beyond Reasonable Doubt" in criminal cases goes something to the effect that it is that level of certainty which you would need to make an important decision in your own life. That one sounds very much like yours, right?

    As an aside which has nothing to do with nothing except my jangled brain channels, I once heard a judge analogize BRD as something like deciding to make an important, expensive purchase, which made me shiver as I contemplated jurors sending people to the gas chamber with the same degree of certainty with which they would choose between Ford, Chevy or Honda.

  2. #202
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    Being an older married CD who's wife has no clue and and went "cold" several years ago I've been bi-curious about other CD's in the same situation. I really enjoy playing golf and would love to meet someone with the same interest but how do you do it? I'D skip the bi-curious part just to meet someone who enjoys "heels and hose", plays golf and spend some time together dressed as our alter personalities. I'm not very hopefull and your all right in your posts, it's very frustrating.

  3. #203
    Aspiring Member StarrOfDelite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasCD810 View Post
    Being an older married CD who's wife has no clue and and went "cold" several years ago I've been bi-curious about other CD's in the same situation. I really enjoy playing golf and would love to meet someone with the same interest but how do you do it? I'D skip the bi-curious part just to meet someone who enjoys "heels and hose", plays golf and spend some time together dressed as our alter personalities. I'm not very hopefull and your all right in your posts, it's very frustrating.
    "North Texas" covers a whole lot of area, but if you're looking only for a friendly face to talk about CD'ing in general, I suggest you Google "Tri-Ess + Texas" and/or "GLBT + Support Group" and see what comes up. I would totally expect that there is a group in Lubbock, which is the home of a major university, and would guess that Amarillo and Midland/Odessa are also likely suspects.

  4. #204
    Member maya1love's Avatar
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    Hi everyone! Just thought I'd give all of you a quick update about me and the fellow that I'm dating. We are dating strong for two months! He's a really nice guy. We talk from time to time about my dressing and he has also seen pictures of me dressed. We have been intimate with me wearing some lingerie (that he bought me), but I have not fully dressed in front of him. He says that seeing me dressed fully will be something that will take time for him to get used to. Still, he does treat me like the girl in the relationship, and he enjoys courting me. It feels like a relationship that will come to a slow boil -- one where things will continue to evolve and get better over time. We shall see! I consider myself very lucky, and look forward to more closeness with him.
    Some boys just can't help acting like girls...

    My pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mayatoronto/

  5. #205
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    ^ I'm glad things are going well for you!

    But I continue to shake my head in amazement when I think of the similarities between GGs and gay men when it comes to accepting the CDing.
    Reine

  6. #206
    trans punk Badtranny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    ^ I'm glad things are going well for you!

    But I continue to shake my head in amazement when I think of the similarities between GGs and gay men when it comes to accepting the CDing.

    Oh Reine, it's totally similar.

    Gay men reject a feminine man because they aren't generally attracted to femininity and more importantly, they don't like the association. There has been a bit of a masculine backlash over the last couple of decades and a large segment of the population are actually embarrassed by the fems.

    A quick scan of Craigslist will show you the most familiar refrain in the personals ads; No Fats, No Fems.

    I've been with one or two of these muscle queens though and one thing I've come to believe is this; The feminine gay man is the truth.
    Last edited by Badtranny; 09-19-2011 at 09:22 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B
    At least there is social acceptance in being a drunk in our world. Hell I was good at it too.
    Melissa Hobbes
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  7. #207
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
    Gay men reject a feminine man because they aren't generally attracted to femininity and more importantly, they don't like the association.
    But you know why this is confusing? My SO & I have gone to many drag shows over the years in gay clubs. The DQs are just sooo popular! The pretty ones seem to have long lines of adoring men drooling over them, rushing up to the stage to put a dollar in her clothes as she dances. And these are gay guys, at least I took it they are gay because they are at a gay club and also they are openly affectionate with each other. And after the shows, these men just flock around the performers, some of whom I gather are TS since they've had implants (but still presumably have their male parts). But, gay men have always left my SO alone. The alt club in town was one of the first places she went to when she began to go out in public, and she was pretty well ignored by everyone. She wasn't looking to pair up with anyone, but just be social. Granted her image is not at all the same as a DQ; she dresses like a regular GG, not a fetish CD.

    Another question: what is the attitude among gay men over the more effeminate gay men who have the stereotypical mannerisms and who wear similar chothing as women ... the tight, tight pants, a lot of pink or bright colors, scarves, jewelry, etc. Is there a division among gay men in the say way there is in the TG community among TSs and CDs?

    Thanks in advance for your response!
    Reine

  8. #208
    Maya... I'm so happy for you and your guy! The fact that you've already integrated dressing into your relationship is HUGE. Kudos to you for being open, honest and forthright with him about who you are. And kudos for him to being willing to push his own ideas of what it means to be with the FULL you.

    Hopefully with lots of communication things will continue to progress.

    As you know, I've been with my guy for 20 years (yes... we were infants when we met ). If I had it to do all over again, I do it just like you're doing it now.

    So best of luck, and keep us posted.

    xoxo

    Christa

  9. #209
    Member maya1love's Avatar
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    Hi everyone:

    I had a question for all of you: As a gay man, are you out to your gay friends as a crossdresser? If not, why not? Do you feel that they would judge you? Gay men are usually seen as more accepting (and they generally are), but many of them may find it weird. I am out as a crossdresser to a few of my gay friends, and none of my straight friends. My gay friends are very nice about it, but we don't talk about it much (probably because I don't bring it up).
    Some boys just can't help acting like girls...

    My pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mayatoronto/

  10. #210
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    I'm surprised this thread had 9 pages, and I hadn't seen it yet... Weird... Anyways...

    Nothing for me. There's no gay or bi guys near me... or GGs apparently... I don't know any of you do it, S, B or G...

  11. #211
    trans punk Badtranny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Another question: what is the attitude among gay men over the more effeminate gay men who have the stereotypical mannerisms and who wear similar chothing as women ... the tight, tight pants, a lot of pink or bright colors, scarves, jewelry, etc. Is there a division among gay men in the say way there is in the TG community among TSs and CDs?
    Masculinity is the prize among the majority of gay men. They gay community is divided and subdivided many ways not the least of which is butch and fem. The most maligned subdivision are the femmy queens who represent every stereotype in the book. Your average masculine gay man is embarrassed by the queens because he feels like he's worked hard to be accepted as a regular guy who happens to be gay and he doesn't want some limp wristed fairy to set the gay image back 25 years.
    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B
    At least there is social acceptance in being a drunk in our world. Hell I was good at it too.
    Melissa Hobbes
    www.badtranny.com

  12. #212
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
    Masculinity is the prize among the majority of gay men. They gay community is divided and subdivided many ways not the least of which is butch and fem. The most maligned subdivision are the femmy queens who represent every stereotype in the book. Your average masculine gay man is embarrassed by the queens because he feels like he's worked hard to be accepted as a regular guy who happens to be gay and he doesn't want some limp wristed fairy to set the gay image back 25 years.
    In my opinion CDS at the very very least have a girly half where they like to dress up and be with a strong masculine man. The strength, warmth and protection. Feeling small and petite next to her man

  13. #213
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    Its my opinion that you are still at least bi Reine because you like your man in dresses, heels and acting girly. You only like feminine features and behavior.

  14. #214
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    ^ LOL, Sean, I saw in the index that you had posted here, so I came in with a smile on my face and a box of popcorn spinach ready to enjoy the fallout over whatever you had posted.

    ... and then saw that your post refers to me.

    So ... I can only respond by repeating an all too familiar refrain in this forum: I am what I am, however you want to define it.

    Attachment 167866
    Last edited by ReineD; 11-03-2011 at 07:37 PM. Reason: Added pic.
    Reine

  15. #215
    Member maya1love's Avatar
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    Hi folks...a gentle reminder to please stay on topic...

    I'd definitely like to hear from some of the other gay male crossdressers about whether they are out to their gay friends. I think it's important to distinguish between what the gay community as a whole thinks about crossdressers, and what your friends think about you being a crossdresser. The friends that I have told have been just fine -- no problem. It is me who is holding back. Maybe that will change.
    Some boys just can't help acting like girls...

    My pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mayatoronto/

  16. #216
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    I am not out to anybody close to me,not even to my gay brother.....I always ponder if I ever out myself it will be as gay or just a crossdresser or both

  17. #217
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maya1love View Post
    Hi folks...a gentle reminder to please stay on topic...
    Point well taken, lol. I was posting as a member. So now I guess I need to give myself a nuckle-rap as a mod.
    Reine

  18. #218
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    Quote Originally Posted by maya1love View Post
    I'd definitely like to hear from some of the other gay male crossdressers about whether they are out to their gay friends. I think it's important to distinguish between what the gay community as a whole thinks about crossdressers, and what your friends think about you being a crossdresser. The friends that I have told have been just fine -- no problem. It is me who is holding back. Maybe that will change.
    I am out to every one I know. Only people that don't know are those who haven't asked. Which is why it bugs me so much that I can't meet any one...

    EDIT: Slightly off topic, but I've always wondered this... We all know that occassionally there are GGs that are put off by the whole CD'ing thing... But does being out about being bisexual really send that strong or big of a red flag of some sort?

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