Another Halloween Thread

[Robynts]

My wife (and I) belong to a dinner club that meets once a month (very conservative and very straight). October will be the Halloween get together and they are planning to go in costume (surely cowboys, Indians and pirates will the the sum total of their creativity). I would love to go as Robyn, but my wife is less than thrilled with Robyn going public around her friends.

My question is "Has anybody gone out as their femme self for Halloween with people they know but that do not know about their dressing?"

Have you been faced with any of these questions:
-- Where did you get these clothes that fit so well?
-- Where did you get shoes that fit?
-- Who did your makeup?
-- You look like you have done this before.

Any other questions Robyn needs to be prepared to lie about (oops, I mean answer)?

The whole concept of Robyn going out around her vanilla friends, even on Halloween, is going to be a hard sell.

Thanks for any thoughts or experiences you can share.

Robyn

[LitaKelley]

Wear a woman's halloween costume, that way it may not look like you're in the habit of crossdressing and it could be a "one time" thing

[NicoleScott]

Deception (closeted cd) is hard enough to pull off. Double deception (dressing up as a woman but not wanting people to think you're a cd, even when you are one) is even harder. I remember a group of people coming to the office in costume on Halloween. One was a guy dressed as a girl. Compliments everywhere. When the group left, everybody giggled and commented that the guy was TOO convincing, not the first time he had done this, makeup was TOO good, mannerisms perfect, etc etc. Hey, if you want to come out, come out. If not, I would not advise playing this double deception game, or you may risk coming out inadvertently.

[kimmy p]

Hi Robyn, I can give you MY answers to those questions. I dress fem almost every year at Halloween.
Have you been faced with any of these questions:
-- Where did you get these clothes that fit so well?-My wife and I are nearly the same size, so that has been a good answer. And I have told people that Being nearly the same size makes for a inexpensive costume. My wife has also made several of my costumes. If all else fails say that you scoured the thrift shops.
-- Where did you get shoes that fit?--Same place everyone else buys them. Gee, it might have been the most embarrassing part of you costume.
-- Who did your makeup?--Wife, friend, pro. You figured it out yourself from the internet. "Boy there are some weird websites out there"
-- You look like you have done this before.-- I practiced a couple of time earlier this month. If I'm going to do this I would like to do it right. It's real easy to look like a idiot and I didn't want that.

[AKAMichelle]

You can come up with a million excuses but the real question is are you willing to go out there dressed in that venue. It may end that even with all of the planning that you have outed yourself. Arched eyebrows, shaved legs or arms, no beard or anything else. It all comes down to they will be paying attention to you much closer after this. Some little tell that you don't even realize will be the one things that tells everyone you are a cd'er. Are you ready for that? I would do it in heartbeat but you must be prepared for the consequences of your decision.

[NV Susan]

[SIZE="4"]AKAMichelle hit the nail on the head with her reply!! I've done this same thing as you talk about a few times over the years on Halloween. Everything you plan for will not cover everything that you'll face. You must be good at thinking on your feet {with heals on}. I also found friends talked about my costume for a few days but I laughed it off and they soon quit. Do I think it was worth it.....Oh yes!!! I had a great time each time and might do it this year.
[/SIZE]

[Eve_WA]

Robyn,

From what I have read in previous threads, and pretty much agree, if you do it too well then there will be questions. Really well, and it will be hard to convince people otherwise, especially if you have changed your outward appearance (brows, nails, shaving, etc). So you have to balance pride and anonymity. For it to be 'just a costume' you may have to play down the skills of which we have worked so hard to acquire. Wear things that dont quite fit or work together... things Im not sure my pride would let me do... The higher the skills exhibited, the tougher the 'sell' that this is just a costume. I also tend to agree that it might be better to use a costume outfit, instead of clothes. Unless the clothes were to depict a 'costume' such as cowgirl, flapper, waitress, etc... Just going as a average everyday woman, say, isnt very costume-y and again can raise suspicions.


I completely understand the inner turmoil though. I have battled this one for a number of years now, and have determined that for now, that it is not a good idea for me. I have WAY too many outward traits and mannerisms that I am sure already raise suspicions. Im not quite ready to pound the last nail in the coffin... just yet. ...and Im not sure why either. I mean, if I were all that concerned, I wouldnt have the arched brows, long nails, dyed hair... or wear androgynous woman's cloths to work... In the end, its something you have to decide for yourself.

Good luck and have fun!

[Abbyru1]

I've done this. I just wore a nice dress and disn't appear to be anything other than a guy in a dress. Didn't try to pass or anything
that could be taken as "practiced". Worked pretty well. The only comment I got was from a GG who has been well blessed in the "rack" department who commented that my over done boobs " get in the way don't they?" Just enjoy the flow if you decide to go
in "costume".

[Sarah Doepner]

The biggest problem for me is wanting to do it right, knowing that if I do it would include hip and butt padding, cincher, breast forms, nicely done wig, proper makeup and then the costume. Any of the women I know would see past the costume in about 2 seconds and recognize the preparation and padding as part of a wardrobe, not part of the costume. So the only way to do it without being suspected of having lots of experience is to do it wrong or poorly. And that goes against the grain, doesn't it.

It's a catch 22 situation. Do it right and be discovered, do it wrong and not be satisfied.

[NicoleScott]

It's a catch 22 situation. Do it right and be discovered, do it wrong and not be satisfied.

Exactly. What people expect of a man in a woman's costume is a caricature of a woman, where feminine attributes are exaggerated for comic effect. What we try to do is to present as authentically feminine as possible. It's a conflict. We may think that Halloween is the best time for innocent dressup fun, but it may be the worst because it may cause others to look at you more closely to see if you really are a cd, not just a guy in costume.

[CallMeMeg]

I went to a Mardi Gras party as Meg five years ago. I'm writing about it now in my blog.

[tracylee]

I have to agree with alot of you on here...be careful of "outing yourself"...I got asked last year to be in a benefit to raise money and to dress up...my wife as precious as she is said "go for it"... I couldn't...We live in a small town and I would have wanted to look really good...that would have raised questions I think...

This morning my SO reminded me we had a "date" with TracyLee and we did in our bedroom behind closed doors... I'ld rather keep it that that way than to go through the gossip.....My two cents on this...

[oliviarub]

unless you want to be outed or have your dinner group be suspicious i would not do it.
go out wih your wife instead at a more appropriate venue.

[CharleneT]

uhmmmm... this may sound a little odd, but it could work for you and be fun at the same time. Go as Robin Hood. I know, I know, he was a man. BUT the Hollywood version was wearing tights, a tunic (short dress), slippers etc ... You could "tart" it up quite a bit. I did this many years ago in college as my way of dealing with the first time I went out dressed up. It was just an on campus dance, but it was costumes optional.

[JenniferR771]

But this is a major opportunity to go "over the top". Major outfit--one you cannot wear anywhere else. Lady GaGa--think about it. Cleopatra, Queen Victoria, Wedding gown. Hillary Clinton. Sarah Palin??!! Marilyn Monroe.

Just be prepared to say it was your wife's idea and she did all the prep. Or maybe you had a coupon for a costume shop--and all the gorilla suits were already rented.

Nicole is right! An exaggerated woman. Jewelry! Plenty of hair and makeup, nails, too.

[Sophie86]

I dressed last year as a Twilight fangirl. I tried to look gothy in black boots, fishnets, leather skirt, dark wig, and a Twilight t-shirt with Edward on the front. The makeup was an epic fail, but it was fun. I got a number of suggestive comments, but no direct accusations. I just treated it as a big laugh, and enjoyed myself. I was one of five guys who showed up at the party in drag. There was the Wicked Witch of the West, Dorothy, and the Joker in a nurse's uniform. But the worst moment of the night was when a tall "girl" walked in wearing a black mini and pumps with her makeup done perfectly and legs that were to die for. I turned bright green with envy. (Tickled the folks sitting next to me when I muttered "bitch" under my breath.)

SO... this year I plan to do it right! No nightmarish makeup, no costumey stuff. I'm going as the best looking girl I can be. Here's how I'll answer the questions:

-- Where did you get these clothes that fit so well?

I ordered them online. Where did you get your costume?

-- Where did you get shoes that fit?

Ordered them too. My wife's are just a little too tight. I wore her boots last year, and they killed my feet!

-- Who did your makeup?

I did! Does it look alright? Last year, it was a complete disaster!

-- You look like you have done this before.

Yep! This is my third Halloween in drag! The first time I was just a kid, and my older sister had to twist my arm to get me to do it. I tried it again last year, though, and had so much fun I thought I'd do it again.

Other questions that one might be asked, and my answers...

--So how did you get so good at walking in heels?

Pssh. These are nothing. I used to wear those metal stilts when I was finishing drywall, and sometimes I'd have to raise them up to 40". (If you've never worn stilts, just brag about your physical prowess. It's very manly.)

--Did you shave your legs?

Of course! It would've looked pretty dumb to go to all this trouble and have hairy legs showing through the hose. (When I was asked this question last year, I didn't bother to mention that I had been shaving them for the previous two months. If they had been paying attention, they would've known that already.)

--What are you, gay? (Cause there could always be that one rude drunk.)

Yes, I'm a lesbian.

[CharleneT]

. . .

--What are you, gay? (Cause there could always be that one rude drunk.)

Yes, I'm a lesbian.

I LOVE your answers, especially this one !!

[kimdl93]

Would your wife be more enthusiastic if you picked a different venue for your Halloween dress up? I'm not sure this is the right crowd.

[Alice B]

I've done it twice. The first time was to a halloween party at my son-in-law's. At first no one recognized me, but once they did everyone was cool with it. I was asked many similar questions and had fun with the answers. I am now out to the entire family. The second time was to a meeting of my professional photographers group. I was the guest speaker and we were having a costume contest. Everyone was floored and I won the contest. I was not questioned very much and had a lot of fun with presenting myself. It was the most gutsy thing I've ever done with respect to being Alice, but no one suspected that I was a cross dresser.

[DaphneGrey]

I would say if your wife is uncomfortable with the idea respect her wishes and don't do it. They are mutual friends and it is going to make her uncomfortable. You can always go to another party as robin some other time. I have dressed in many feminine costumes on Halloween but there have been years depending on where we are and who we are with where she Mrs D has said I would rather not this year. we need to respect our spouses boundries. halloween is a holiday and time to have fun with family and friends. Let her enjoy it too.

[Sophie86]

Would your wife be more enthusiastic if you picked a different venue for your Halloween dress up? I'm not sure this is the right crowd.

That's a good point. My previous post probably made me sound brave, but the truth is that probably at least a third, maybe half, of the people at the party I attended last year were gay or bi, so I was in a very friendly environment. If the party you're going to is going to be like a GOP convention, then you have to be prepared to be judged--unless your name is Guiliani--and you'll want to watch out for that guy in the bathroom with the wide stance...

[Robynts]

Thank you all for your comments and insights. I have concluded, based on your feedback, that going to the wife's dinner party as Robyn would not be a good idea, so I will leave Robyn in the closet for yet one more crossdresser national holiday (Halloween).