Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 65

Thread: Dressing and Divorce

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member janelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    951
    Yes, my marriage ended after 31+ years along with another 5 years of dating b4. We still are friends & go out to eat once in awhile, but my being me did it in.
    HUGS

  2. #27
    Member Tammy V's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    436
    I am so afraid to tell ym wife about my crossdressing, because in my heart I fell she will never accept it. My worst nightmare is her divorcing me (I could live with that) And telling my family (I would have a real hard time with that, elderly parents). I fell telling her would empower her by giving her information she can use against me. But on the other hand the need to dress and express my fem side is growing, so not sure where I will end up. I would like to have some money left for this expensive habit, but I can relate to the divorce breaking you.
    Good Luck

  3. #28
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    11,799
    more than half the marriages in the US end in divorce. Crossdressing would be a drop in the bucket compared to the many reasons. People grow apart. Things never stay the same. Some will work to save it most won't because of time and effort. I am sure some divorces are from the perception that the male is somehow not the male when crossdressed and that may very well be a hurdle a woman cannot cross. However, I agree with Clayfish, it would be the lowest denominator in the myriad of divorces posted here. It may be the reason stated, it may be the easy reason to start a divorce, but the majority will have deeper reasons especially when the CD has gone out of their way to NOT dress or push the issue. So for the 10% who are reasonably sure the divorce was due to clothing issues...OK. Most are not and many are at least equally the woman's fault as the man's. CDing is a highly visible and often humiliating part of some men and when the threat of exposure is made it just makes the divorce easier for the spouse. In the US most staes have no fault so this isn't really the issue but it makes a nice "reason" when the spouse is asked "What went wrong" and is easier to say than "We didn't get along anymore."
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  4. #29
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    1,013
    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    And yet, Carol, there are those who say you are wrong, that they know better than you what happened to your marriage. Seems a bit arrogant, don't you think?
    I have yet seen anyone say anything about being wrong, the correct answer would be highly unlikely .. With out the full story of the OP's relationship and how often crossdressing occured or not mention anything else about the way the OP lived her life on a daily bases (just underdressed hid all dressing or dressed 24/7 ).. Its hard to say but a great answer could be highly unlikely because of xdressing
    I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.

  5. #30
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    71
    Quote Originally Posted by Tammy V View Post
    I fell telling her would empower her by giving her information she can use against me.
    Tammy, If you are worried that you would be giving her power (ammunition). Doesn't this mean that you may already be on shaky ground. Do you feel the one you married is vendictive and looking for something to hang you out to dry with?

    What I have heard, is that the biggest reason most women (who are not genderphobic) get upset with the sudden knowledge that they are married to a crossdresser, is not because of the cross dressing, it's because of the lying and hiding. In most healthy minds a lie is the worst thing that can be exicuted especially in a marraige. In healthy marriages open communications and sharing of feelings are parramont to the well being of that marriage. Where do we go with this, when this isn't the case? We typically must live with hiding and lying for the rest of your life. Should the relationship mean anything to you or you can't handle the fall out of full disclosure you can't do anything. This is a choice that you must make and a choice you must live with. There is no having both. That is unless you believe in the miricle where one day your wife comes to you and says, "hey lets dress you up in my clothes". Maybe possible though, as Halloween is around the corner.

  6. #31
    Silver Haired Member Phyliss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    3,906
    38+ years of marriage, and no divorce. I'm alone now because of the last part of the marriage vows, "... until death do ye part"
    Yeah she "knew" and didn't like it, BUT it became a small part of me when it came to our relationship. The big picture always remained. We were committed to each other "for richer or poorer, better or worse, sickness and health..."

    We both understood the meanings of our vows, and weren't about to pitch 'em for a bit of unhappyness.
    Lead me NOT into temptation
    (I can find my own way)
    I HAVE WALKED THAT MILE IN HER HEELS
    CURTSY to all BOW to [SIZE="3"]NONE[/SIZE]


    http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...6284/event.png

  7. #32
    My name is Carol Julogden's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Suburbs of Chicago, IL USA
    Posts
    3,670
    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    And yet, Carol, there are those who say you are wrong, that they know better than you what happened to your marriage. Seems a bit arrogant, don't you think?
    Yes, a bit.

    Thanks,
    Carol
    My name is Carol.

  8. #33
    the happy camper
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,004
    I don't want to put words in her mouth, but I think Lucy's point is that it's not the act of crossdressing, but how the spouse interprets the crossdressing. What are the words that come into her head when she finds out?

    Pervert. Deviant. Gay. Queer. Fag. Girly-man. Weak. Submissive. Sissy. Limp-wristed wimp.

    That's how society judges us, and instead of relying on what she knows about her husband, she accepts society's verdict. She is afraid to stand by her man, because she doesn't want to be be hit by any of those awful words that are hurled at us.

  9. #34
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    1,013
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie86 View Post
    I don't want to put words in her mouth, but I think Lucy's point is that it's not the act of crossdressing, but how the spouse interprets the crossdressing. What are the words that come into her head when she finds out?

    Pervert. Deviant. Gay. Queer. Fag. Girly-man. Weak. Submissive. Sissy. Limp-wristed wimp.

    That's how society judges us, and instead of relying on what she knows about her husband, she accepts society's verdict. She is afraid to stand by her man, because she doesn't want to be be hit by any of those awful words that are hurled at us.
    Sophie,
    Yes that is it!! Cding is not a cause !! Cding for most ( for me anyways ) is like being born with brown eyes. I didn't ask for for brown but I got em anyways so I live with em,.. The eyes work fine and beat not seeing at all. Yes , sure I could cover or change the color of my eyes to blue with contacts but that just wouldn't be me.

    I am just saying that if your wife knew you CD'd from the start and like so many of us do, did you think you were going to stop once you were married? Did you mis lead or guide her in anyway ? Did she understand that for the most part, cding was a part of your life right from the begging? You said she didn't like it from the start and maybe in good faith because you meant well and thought for sure you would stop , but you continued to let her down by doing it. Did you in anyway educate her offer her professinal therapy?

    If she ( your wife ) knew what cding was from the begging chances are you would still be together ,but lets not forget most women DON'T!! Now I am not in anyway saying you decieved your wife in anyway you are correct I wasn't there and I didn't live it..I am saying if your wife knew and accepted CDing from the start she would know its not something you can just STOP or change ( like being born with brown eyes ) you cover it up the best you can and hide it..No cding doesn't break up marriages we do..
    I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.

  10. #35
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    24,842

    Crossdressing, shmoshdressing!

    Quote Originally Posted by Julogden View Post
    I would respectfully disagree with that. Some wives can never tolerate a CD husband. I know from experience. There was plenty of communication on my part, I told hmy wife prior to getting married and had to quit dressing in order to stay together. I was 21, very much in love, didn't want to hurt her, and didn't know myself well yet, so I agreed to stop dressing. I went cold turkey for a couple years, and finally realized that it wasn't going to work for me. I tried and tried to get her to discuss things to try and work things out, but that was the end. She wanted nothing to do with discussing what I was going through and there was no compromise. I was more than willing to work out a compromise in order to help her deal with her feelings about me being a CD. In the end, she walked, nothing that I could do would have stopped her.
    Carol
    ANYONE, in this day and age, that gets married at 21, starts out with 2 STRIKES ON THEM!

    Statistically, Carol, if u NEVER so much as tried on a pair of panties during your married years, you'd most likely have gotten divorced anyway!

    My divorce also had NOTHING to do with CDing! When the affection and sex stop, folks just DON'T stay together like they did back in the day!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  11. #36
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    In the total animal soup of time
    Posts
    2,145
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie86 View Post
    Pervert. Deviant. Gay. Queer. Fag. Girly-man. Weak. Submissive. Sissy. Limp-wristed wimp.
    As if it were a bad thing! That was my first wife's opinion of me and I never (well, hardly ever) crossdressed during that marraige. I always wonder why CDs seem to be attracted to the most intolerant women?

  12. #37
    My name is Carol Julogden's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Suburbs of Chicago, IL USA
    Posts
    3,670
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy_Bella View Post
    Sophie,
    Yes that is it!! Cding is not a cause !! Cding for most ( for me anyways ) is like being born with brown eyes. I didn't ask for for brown but I got em anyways so I live with em,.. The eyes work fine and beat not seeing at all. Yes , sure I could cover or change the color of my eyes to blue with contacts but that just wouldn't be me.

    I am just saying that if your wife knew you CD'd from the start and like so many of us do, did you think you were going to stop once you were married? Did you mis lead or guide her in anyway ? Did she understand that for the most part, cding was a part of your life right from the begging? You said she didn't like it from the start and maybe in good faith because you meant well and thought for sure you would stop , but you continued to let her down by doing it. Did you in anyway educate her offer her professinal therapy?

    If she ( your wife ) knew what cding was from the begging chances are you would still be together ,but lets not forget most women DON'T!! Now I am not in anyway saying you decieved your wife in anyway you are correct I wasn't there and I didn't live it..I am saying if your wife knew and accepted CDing from the start she would know its not something you can just STOP or change ( like being born with brown eyes ) you cover it up the best you can and hide it..No cding doesn't break up marriages we do..
    Clearly, you're forgetting the disclaimer in your signature. If you're not an expert on this, why are you acting like you know it all?

    You do not know the woman I was married to: I am not in the mood to document all the things I tried to make the marriage work, but yes, we went for counseling, but when she was told by more than one counselor to learn to accept that I am a CD, that was the end of counseling for her. That's all that I have to say on the subject. Please don't bother trying to tell me that my being a CD wasn't the reason for the end of my marriage, as I know far better than you what happened.

    Carol
    My name is Carol.

  13. #38
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    1,013
    You are right and I don't claim I know it all so get ur underware out of a twist missy... I have said several times I don't know of the OP's or your situation but common sense say's it not crossdressing that is the root cause thank you very much..

    I have a right to my opinion and I have been nothing but nice expressing it, if you don't like it you can very easiley scan past it. No need to attack me for my opinion right or wrong, I am sure you have better things to do than that.
    I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.

  14. #39
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Living in the present
    Posts
    2,562
    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    And yet, Carol, there are those who say you are wrong, that they know better than you what happened to your marriage. Seems a bit arrogant, don't you think?
    Before things get too heated here ...

    I had lunch the other day with an old work colleague ... he told me that, becuase he is good at his job and knows what he is talking about, many people consider him to be supremely arrogant ... thinking about, though, he had come to the conclusion that he is merely benignly arrogant ... he doesn't push his point of view, he only restates it, because he feels that he knows he is correct.

    Carol, I confess that I am benignly arrogant ... I mean you no harm ... I think you will find more inner peace if you revisit your marriage and entertain the conjecture that perhaps there WERE other issues (besides your CDing) which caused the divorce. Do some digging.

    The one thing I do like about communist ideology is this: things are seldom as they seem on the surface. To truly understand, you have to dig deep below the surface.

    Carol, I wish you all the best.

  15. #40
    Meberette Hope's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Wisconsin!
    Posts
    2,069
    Quote Originally Posted by LilSissyStevie View Post
    As if it were a bad thing! That was my first wife's opinion of me and I never (well, hardly ever) crossdressed during that marraige. I always wonder why CDs seem to be attracted to the most intolerant women?
    I think an even better question to ask would be "Why does our culture create so many intolerant people?"

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie86 View Post
    Pervert. Deviant. Gay. Queer. Fag. Girly-man. Weak. Submissive. Sissy. Limp-wristed wimp.

    That's how society judges us, and instead of relying on what she knows about her husband, she accepts society's verdict. She is afraid to stand by her man, because she doesn't want to be be hit by any of those awful words that are hurled at us.
    That sounds pretty authentic to me. Pretty insightful too.

    It is hard to blame people for not wanting to be disrespected and insulted - but helping to bear the burdens of another person is a part of the job description for a friend, much less a spouse.
    "I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it." — Marilyn Monroe

  16. #41
    My name is Carol Julogden's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Suburbs of Chicago, IL USA
    Posts
    3,670
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucy_Bella View Post
    You are right and I don't claim I know it all so get ur underware out of a twist missy... I have said several times I don't know of the OP's or your situation but common sense say's it not crossdressing that is the root cause thank you very much..

    I have a right to my opinion and I have been nothing but nice expressing it, if you don't like it you can very easiley scan past it. No need to attack me for my opinion right or wrong, I am sure you have better things to do than that.
    ???????????????????

    You have repeatedly stated that crossdressing is never a cause for divorce in such a way that I don't see you expressing an opinion, I see you trying to force what you believe to be clear fact on me, despite me and at least one other poster stating that it was indeed the cause of our divorces. Go back and read what you posted. Yes, you have a right to an opinion, but you have been repeatedly telling me that I am wrong, and that's rather rude. I have no idea as to what you've gone through in your failed relationship(s), so I wouldn't even dream of trying to tell you what the caused your relationship to fail so please return the favor.

    Carol
    My name is Carol.

  17. #42
    Banned Read only Satrana's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    1,332
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie86 View Post
    I think Lucy's point is that it's not the act of crossdressing, but how the spouse interprets the crossdressing.
    What is the distinction here? Since the wife is not the one crossdresing then only her perception of the behavior matters. And if she sticks with society's prejudiced view contrary to what her husband is saying, doesn't this explicitly make clear that this behavior is divorce material?

    Some people are confusing two separate issues - the complex nature of a relationship and the idea that there are certain things which some people find inexcusable and so automatically they break off the relationship.

    Can you really say that if you found out your spouse was doing something really "creepy" say like necrophilia (having sex with corpses) that you would not think OK that is just too much, I am out of here, I have no interest in being educated why people would want to do such a thing. Well to some wives crossdressing has a very high creepy value that destroy's their image of their husband making them believe the worst and inevitably leading straight to a divorce.

  18. #43
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Alpharetta, GA
    Posts
    4,644
    I told my late wife before we married! She fully accepted me "as is" and we enjoyed almost 50 years of marriage before cancer took her. BTW, we had actually know each other since childhood, well over 60 years! Honesty regarding my CD'ing made it a non-problem!! I never really wanted to be a woman, so she always knew that I was her MAN, no matter what clothing I had on!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  19. #44
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Living in the present
    Posts
    2,562
    Quote Originally Posted by Julogden View Post
    I would respectfully disagree with that. Some wives can never tolerate a CD husband. I know from experience. There was plenty of communication on my part, I told my wife prior to getting married and had to quit dressing in order to stay together. I was 21, very much in love, didn't want to hurt her, and didn't know myself well yet, so I agreed to stop dressing. I went cold turkey for a couple years, and finally realized that it wasn't going to work for me. I tried and tried to get her to discuss things to try and work things out, but that was the end. She wanted nothing to do with discussing what I was going through and there was no compromise. I was more than willing to work out a compromise in order to help her deal with her feelings about me being a CD. In the end, she walked, nothing that I could do would have stopped her.

    Carol
    Let us step back for a moment and take stock ...
    This thread started with a question, "Has anyone experienced a divorce in which crossdressing was the root cause?" (I have paraphrased it slightly.)
    I expressed the opinion that crossdressing, per se, is never the root cause and that there are always other factors involved, which are not always entirely obvious.
    I have re-read Carol's posts.
    She has stated that she has always been willing to compromise on the issue, and her wife not.
    This point of view is the one which contains a flaw.
    Had Carol been prepared to compromise, she would have done as so many of us on this site have done ... quit crossdressing for many years until the kids left home.
    But she could only go cold turkey for a couple of years.
    The counsellor tried to get Carol's wife to accept the she is a CDer (see a later post) but she refused to.
    I wonder two things ...
    (a) Did the counsellor try to get Carol to modify her own stance in any way? Perhaps Carol will enlighten us.
    (b) Why was Carol's wife unable to modify her position? If we can shed some light on this question, perhaps we will be able to clear the present impasse and understand the situation better.

    [My own divorce certainly had some elements of Carol's situation in it ... my wife refused even to go to a counsellor ... but there were other reasons for her refusal to open her life to scrutiny ... I'll leave it at that.]

  20. #45
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    5,000
    Quote Originally Posted by clayfish View Post
    This thread started with a question, "Has anyone experienced a divorce in which crossdressing was the root cause?" (I have paraphrased it slightly.)
    I expressed the opinion that crossdressing, per se, is never the root cause and that there are always other factors involved, which are not always entirely obvious.
    I have re-read Carol's posts.
    She has stated that she has always been willing to compromise on the issue, and her wife not.
    This point of view is the one which contains a flaw.
    Had Carol been prepared to compromise, she would have done as so many of us on this site have done ... quit crossdressing for many years until the kids left home.
    Where's the compromise here? For the sake of the kids, he quits crossdressing. After the kids leave, he starts, and she divorces him because she still can't tolerate a crossdressing husband. But it was for the kids. Where's her part of the compromise?

    Clayfish, several here have stated that their marriage ended because of crossdressing as the root cause. Why must you still deny?

  21. #46
    My name is Carol Julogden's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Suburbs of Chicago, IL USA
    Posts
    3,670
    Quote Originally Posted by clayfish View Post
    Let us step back for a moment and take stock ...
    This thread started with a question, "Has anyone experienced a divorce in which crossdressing was the root cause?" (I have paraphrased it slightly.)
    I expressed the opinion that crossdressing, per se, is never the root cause and that there are always other factors involved, which are not always entirely obvious.
    I have re-read Carol's posts.
    She has stated that she has always been willing to compromise on the issue, and her wife not.
    This point of view is the one which contains a flaw.
    Had Carol been prepared to compromise, she would have done as so many of us on this site have done ... quit crossdressing for many years until the kids left home.
    But she could only go cold turkey for a couple of years.
    The counsellor tried to get Carol's wife to accept the she is a CDer (see a later post) but she refused to.
    I wonder two things ...
    (a) Did the counsellor try to get Carol to modify her own stance in any way? Perhaps Carol will enlighten us.
    (b) Why was Carol's wife unable to modify her position? If we can shed some light on this question, perhaps we will be able to clear the present impasse and understand the situation better.

    [My own divorce certainly had some elements of Carol's situation in it ... my wife refused even to go to a counsellor ... but there were other reasons for her refusal to open her life to scrutiny ... I'll leave it at that.]
    I've said all that I have to say. I know what happened in my marriage, as I have gone over things many times since they occurred 35 years ago. You two can keep on impressing yourselves with how incredibly knowledgeable you are about the marriages of people you've never met.

    Carol
    My name is Carol.

  22. #47
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    1,013
    This is to the wise ones here who keep making comments about others opinions rather than letting it go.. First of all , did you tell your wives of the crossdressing desire you had prior to meeting or marriage? Did you start crossdressing long after you were married for the first time? That would be to me the only root cause in reference to cding.

    Did you tell your wife you would stop? after learning she didn't approve. Did you hide your dressing from your wife with or her knowing you were a cder?

    I find it hard to believe that women are that shallow to dump you for being just a cder and if so maybe you were doomed from the start. Crossdressing has no known cause but we all know it's something we have the overwhelming urge to do. Could it be possiable that you mis lead your wives about the subject in hand ( even from the start) ? That you wasn't clear enough and she wasn't educated enough about men who CD?

    You just don't understand and accept that it wasn't CDing that ended the marriage as a whole and trust me I thought the same as you did I thought Cding ended my marriage. But I learned it wasn't it was me and the fact I didn't accept it myself. By doing that I never understood that it's a slow process and a unselfish act to get a loved one to understanding although some will never fully be accepting

    Maybe someday you wise ones will learn too, that it wasn't the cding it was you and how you handled your cding. After all lets give the exes some credit they didn't run after you told them before marriage right? To say it was Cding is just an easy out take a look at what else was going on.. I agree the cding didn't help but it's hard to believe that it was the only factor. Not saying that it wasn't just saying it's hard to believe anything is possiable.

    But what do I know ? I am just an ARROGANT A** HOLE KNOW IT ALL EXPERT..
    I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.

  23. #48
    the happy camper
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    1,004
    Quote Originally Posted by Satrana View Post
    What is the distinction here?
    A lot of CDers convince themselves that it's just clothes. You've heard these before:

    "Women wear pants, why can't I wear skirts?"

    "Skirts are just more comfortable."

    "I just like the way the material feels."

    When women started wearing pants, it signified something. It wasn't just about being comfortable, it was about challenging male dominance in society and in the home. Men knew this at the time, and that's why they resisted it. When a man wears women's clothing, it also signifies something: a desire to be released from being dominant (to some degree, at least). Women know this, and many of them are disturbed by it. They want a man who will protect them and who will be the breadwinner in the family. Their status in the world is determined by their husband's status, and his status is determined by his aggressiveness and his ability to stand up to other men. When they hear "I want to wear women's clothes," what they really hear is "I want to be weak. I want to be passive. I want to submit to another man." That strikes at the foundation of everything the woman wants out of life.

    Can you really say that if you found out your spouse was doing something really "creepy" say like necrophilia (having sex with corpses) that you would not think OK that is just too much, I am out of here, I have no interest in being educated why people would want to do such a thing.
    Sure, but the social rules against necrophilia have a very different basis from the ones regarding gender roles.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hope
    It is hard to blame people for not wanting to be disrespected and insulted - but helping to bear the burdens of another person is a part of the job description for a friend, much less a spouse.
    True, but not everyone wants to spend their life swimming against the tide. They want the house in suburbia. They want the acceptance of friends and family. They want to be welcome at the neighborhood barbecue. They want their children to be popular at school. So many other things are a struggle, and they're just not prepared to fight the good fight on an issue that they can't even understand.

  24. #49
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Living in the present
    Posts
    2,562
    Quote Originally Posted by Julogden View Post
    I've said all that I have to say. I know what happened in my marriage, as I have gone over things many times since they occurred 35 years ago. You two can keep on impressing yourselves with how incredibly knowledgeable you are about the marriages of people you've never met.

    Carol
    And now we know why Carol's wife up and left ... Carol would not engage, instead chose to laugh ... and so this benignly arrogant person is going to emulate Carol's wife.
    Good bye Carol.

  25. #50
    Meberette Hope's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Wisconsin!
    Posts
    2,069
    Quote Originally Posted by Satrana View Post
    Can you really say that if you found out your spouse was doing something really "creepy" say like necrophilia (having sex with corpses) that you would not think OK that is just too much, I am out of here, I have no interest in being educated why people would want to do such a thing. Well to some wives crossdressing has a very high creepy value that destroy's their image of their husband making them believe the worst and inevitably leading straight to a divorce.
    Way to equate cross-dressing with necrophilia. Not Not NOT OK.

    The issue you seem to be missing is that cross-dressing is a perhaps statistically unusual activity, but harms no one, is completely consensual, and is in no logical ethical system anything to be worked up about. Intolerance of cross-dressing is little more than fear-based bigotry. Bigotry is generally not acceptable. Necrophilia on the other hand, while also a statistically unusual activity, involves the non-consensual (because it's a corpse!) sexual violation of another person. It is difficult to find an ethical system in which non-consensual sexual activity of any sort is acceptable. Due to this, societal intolerance of necrophilia is not only normal, but completely appropriate.

    It is somewhat horrifying to me that this even needs to be pointed out in a forum like this one.

    You want to compare apples to apples? Compare people who cross-dress to something like the folks who like to dress up as Han Solo or Batman and hang out at comic book conventions. Sure, they might be dorks, but do you think that it is reasonable for a wife to divorce her husband because he likes to walk around with a magnetically propelled peton connected to a 100 meter, 1000# test, length of stainless-steel monofilament (or some other absurd piece of equipment) on his belt? Of course not. What is the difference? Bigotry. You said it yourself, people think cross-dressing is "creepy," and as long as they are allowed to continue to think that, (as long as members of our own community still think that) we will get nowhere with the fight for trans rights.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie86 View Post
    True, but not everyone wants to spend their life swimming against the tide. They want the house in suburbia. They want the acceptance of friends and family. They want to be welcome at the neighborhood barbecue. They want their children to be popular at school. So many other things are a struggle, and they're just not prepared to fight the good fight on an issue that they can't even understand.
    Sure... everyone wants acceptance. Everyone wants their children and friends to be successful. Everyone wants a safe place to live. But why would anyone think that they can have acceptance, or success, or safety when they deny those things to others? Particularly when they deny those things to the people they claim are most important in their lives?
    "I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it." — Marilyn Monroe

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State