Potentially big mistake caused by forgetfulness (actually stupidity)

[Rene L]

First the background: It's been many years since I tried to talk to my wife about crossdressing. She is definitely not for it, pretty much against it. I'm 5'8", about 230 pounds and have smallish man-boobs. In fact I've been measured for a bra and fairly well fill out a 42B. And the other piece of info you need is to know that I get up and take my son to school, my wife usually sleeps later due to her schedule. We are typically out of the house before she gets up. Now that you have that information:

I keep everything locked up tight - except one very basic white bra, almost like a sports bra. I like to wear it under my dark colored dress shirts. Yesterday I was planning to put it on as soon as I got out of the shower. But something happened that I got side tracked - I layed it with my PJ pants to see what it was. (Dogs barked? Son asked me something from down the hall? Butterfly flew by?) At any rate, I went back still somewhat distracted, got dressed without my bra.

It wasn't until after I dropped my son off at school that I realized what I had done. I was freaking half the day, figured if she said anything I'd let her know that it helps calm the bounce when I'm driving my truck (which is true!). Well I got home last night and went about my business of getting things ready for a weekend trip with my son. I discreetly searched high and low and found it folded up real neat - in a drawer where she keeps books and other misc. stuff. Oh, and there's no chance she'll think its one of hers she forgot about - I'm a 42B, she's a 38C. But she never said anything about it at all.

Now I'm kind of afraid of what or how she might approach this. Last night was just like any other night around her. I don't have the ba**s to just walk up and ask "did you find my bra?" I'm thinking I just wait and see what happens.

Feels good to just vent - thanks for taking time to read about my dilemma.

[bianca66]

I believe she found you "Man Bro". If she doesn't believe it then let her watch the Sienfield episode with George and Kramer.

[Christie ann]

your home situation sounds o-so-familiar. I have been there and good luck!

[Gerrijerry]

sounds to me like she found it. and didn't want anyone else to notice so she put it away to protect you. I think that was kind of nice of her. If she wanted to yell at you she would have. Since she has not said anything you might want to say nothing. If it comes up a thank you would be in order from you to her for putting it away where others would not find it.

[DonnaT]

Two options, let it go, or thank her for not freaking out.

[Chickhe]

Get the courage to ask her... (walk around your house like you are looking for that screwdriver someone borrowed...'did you see my bra lying around?'..'I know I left it here somewhere') otherwise the discussion will be on her terms. Once you are found out, it is better to admit it and appologize and tell her ...otherwise she might think it was your mistresses...

[AllieSF]

Yes, I agree with Chickhe that it is always best for you to lead and somewhat control the conversation, especially when it is an important one like this. So, my recommendation would be to pick one of the moments when your wife appears to be in a good and friendly mood toward you and the kids are away and have a talk with her. You can start it by saying something like, "Thanks for putting my bra away. I was a little distracted that morning and forgot I had left it out." Period. You stay quiet and let her respond and then take your cue from her words, body language and what she said. to control you need to listen, and then redirect expand or narrow the conversation to get her to open up more. Remember less is more on a delicate topic like this. Good luck and please let us know how it turns out.

[Rene L]

This is one of the few times we've ever planned separate weekends - and they were planned long before this happened. I'm taking our son on the 100th anniversary Boy Scouts of America overnight (Fri, Sat & Sun) and she went to visit her sister. I'll review all responses Sunday when I get back and report after I take some kind of action. Thanks for the responses thus far!

[Sandygal]

Reminds me of the day I left my bird seed breasts on top of my dresser. I no she had to have seen them, but nothing was ever said.

[AKAMichelle]

Get some backbone and go talk to her. This is your chance. Obviously she didn't freak out since she folded it and put it away and she is acting the same around you still.

[Loni]

be the first to say something. it will go a bit better.

.

[Cassandra Lynn]

sounds to me like she found it. and didn't want anyone else to notice so she put it away to protect you. I think that was kind of nice of her. If she wanted to yell at you she would have. Since she has not said anything you might want to say nothing. If it comes up a thank you would be in order from you to her for putting it away where others would not find it.

Hmmm, a thank you would be in order if she had told him where she put it, looks to me like she is playing hide and seek. Not sure that is exactly a nice thing to do. Other than the son who are these others that she was hiding it from? I'm assuming this was their bedroom, not the front steps.
mj (Cassie)

[shelly-55]

Wow, I know that feeling! I agree with all who say it's better to take the initiative and steer the conversation but how you want it to go depends on how you steer it. Are you willing to put the whole marriage/family thing on the line for a total disclosure? If you tell all and she freaks then that could be the breaker! If you want to maintain some form of deniability (i.e. your story about bouncing in the truck) which will preserve your "he man" role then if I were you I would hold that trump card and play it only if she freaks. First thank her sheepishly for finding/folding/putting away with something like "I suppose you're wondering why I have a bra"....Let her respond here and you will get some kind of clue as to whether or not she is OK with it. If she starts calling you a faggot or crying etc etc then play that trump card right away and Pray that she buys it (back it up with more lies "most of the other drivers wear them too, I thought everyone knew about "trucker bras", etc etc) and get ready for a life of denial, guilt and fear. If on the other hand she seems somewhat amused but not pissed then take it from there, don't play that trump card but be ready for a shift in your role/position in the marriage. I DO NOT recommend doing nothing, she has put the ball in your court and she is waiting for an explanation. Exciting no? GOOD LUCK!