Is crossdressing a curse or a blessing (sorry to be so long winded)

[bridget jones]

I remember when I was 5 or 6 wearing a camisole and panties for the first time,silky smooth feeling. I have no Idea what made me put it on but the feeling was unexplainable at he time. I would later steel my mothers knee highs,hide them in my room and wear them when ever I could. I never thought anything about it and for some reason stopped. Now that I became a pre-teem/teen I remember wearing my mother and my sisters clothes,all attire. I would wear panties,girdles,bras,jeans,blouses and dresses....let's not forget the high heels. I would stay in the bathroom for long periods of time putting on their make up and laying in the tub only to wash it off then go to bed. I remember getting my drivers licsense at 16 and going to the wig shop after my first paycheck to buy a wig. I always had times when I would just stop but it came back in a fury to dress even more. In my late teens and early twenties it was more sexual,I would actually get excited and when IT came I hated myself for being a freak and wanted to die. Believe it or not that didn't stop me from wanting more. I actually went to a wig shop and purchased a gorgeous wig that I could not style at home. I was so desparate to get it right I got all dolled up (make up,dress,heels,totally shaved) and went back to the boutique where I purchased the wig,wearing my ol trusty wig of course. I walked in with wig in bag in hand and explained that I was having a hard time styling it,the girl working was absolutely wonderful as she said come on back we'll see what we can do. As I took my wig off all she said was "oh I see". She explained everything she was doing with the hair as she set and styled it and I left there feeling gorgeous,you know young and beautiful. I will never forget how the wind blew up my dress that night. Eventually I bought breast forms and a hip/butt panty. I was a CD from head to toe and when IT came I ripped all girly things off and wanted to die. I later got married threw all away had kids,divorced,had girlfriends,broke up and it is still in my mind. Crossdressing is my curse but the feelings I get when I dress is a blessing. I still don't know why I feel this way,why me?

[Loni]

well it is a curse for my wallet.
it is a blessing as i can understand my self a bit better.
it is a curse as some of my friends can not ever know...me
it is a blessing as some of my friends know..................me
it is a curse for having a gg friend
it is a blessing for a gg friend
it is a curse for?
it is a blessing for?
hard to get a answer. easier to ask what is the meaning of life from a super giant tv addicted multi million year old computer.

[Nick2Nikki]

It is not a curse or a blessing. It just is. You can either embrace this part of you, and call it a blessing, or you can hate it, and call it a curse. This is true of all things, sometimes you may feel they are a blessing, other times they may feel like a curse. You simply must play with the cards you are dealt.

[Dora Faye]

The blessing is that you realized it. The curse is having to deal with it in the "real" world.

[Vickie_CDTV]

It can be a curse if you are want to find a GG partner (or keep a GG SO, as a recent thread about divorce illustrates)

[Kate Simmons]

Just like anything else, a lot depends on how it is utilized.

[KathyC]

Its not a curse nor blessing, I was having the same question as you do about a month ago.
you love & believe in yourself more than anyones, don't feel bad about Cding & caused the divorced & broke up with girlfriends. In the society, we all believe all men must married & have children, I am not saying its bad.
I have been pushing myself to find a wife or a steady girlfriend awhile back, but everything turn nasty, lies & big waste of money.
Now I am more focus at my work, my boss gave me a thumbs up yesterday (he never ever does that to anyone even they do the job right), I make decent income so i can buy kathy clothes & other stuff that I like.
Learn to really truely love yourself first before getting into another relationship. Kathy will leave me once I find my otherhalf, hey! this is not really a bad experience as a CDer.
Cheers!

[sissystephanie]

I agree with several others. Crossdressing is neither a curse or a blessing. It is just something we do that we like. Yes, it can be a "curse" on your wallet, believe me I know! But wearing those beautiful things can certainly be a "blessing." Don't try to put labels on something that we do naturally. Just go with the flow and enjoy being pretty!!

[MichelleL]

I think the "curse" you are really talking about is the curse of not having resolved all of the inner conflict that this issue raised in you. Until you resolve that conflict between the rational, thinking you and the emotional, human you, you will continue to carry this "curse." (I have not completely resolved this inner conflict either but I am getting better.)

[AKAMichelle]

I think the answer to this question is dependent upon your own level of acceptance.

Long time ago when I hid my cd'ing and purged multiple times the answer is it was a curse. Nothing good ever causes those feelings of dispair, self-loathing. You hide it because you know that is it wrong in so many people's eyes. You don't want to be viewed that way so you hide. Your spouse many times doesn't know because you are telling lies and deceiving her. That causes some very terrrible consequences if you are discovered before you are ready. Even after you tell them it is still viewed negatively for some time by many spouses and we don't help our case since we were the ones hiding, lying and covering it up. Politicians never get in trouble for the act, but for the coverup.

When I finally began to accept myself, I learned the truth about cd'ing. It had both good and bad things and depending upon how we acted determined many times the benefits or consequences. So I began to learn how to receive the benefits and joys of cd'ing and avoid the negatives. I still don't know if I have everything right or if there is more to learn but I finally enjoying the journey.

I hope everyone will learn from my journey and see that only by accepting themselves can they ever see the good things about cd'ing. The temporary feelings of joy and excitement when you try on the clothes doesn't last. Many times we go through a period where we get so excited for an hour or so and then quickly have to take the clothes off in shame and guilt. We won't even dress again for several days or weeks. There is so much more to cd'ing than meets the eye. It takes a long time to understand even a little bit about it and I hope everyone on here can get to the point where they accept themselves and cd'ing quits being a curse.

[Shayna2008]

It's interesting that I saw this thread here this morning, as I have been pondering this question for the last few days. I've seen 3 therapists, been dealing with this since before elementary school age, and have come out to several people over the years, including my parents. Yet I still don't know why I'm doing this, or what the future holds for me. I really feel lost now since I've recently realized that I'm not as comfortable with myself as I thought I was. I still have issues with going out in the world as Shayna - it scares me. Yet I want to meet people and have a social life and have them know the real me. It's a sinister set of circumstances.

[Elle1946]

I think that you are walking down the road that most of us have walked. I know that I did. Right now I have decided to sit back and smell the roses. I am a CDer and will always be.

[ArleneRaquel]

Its a bit of both. The cost and the potential loss of friends are a curse. But the blessings far outweight the curses. As Arlene my circle of friends & experiences has vastly increased and my level of acceptance of people who are different has also increased. Being a full time woman my amount " judgemental " judgements has fallen and I look at things in a vastly expanded way. My distrust level has diminished and I feel that I am a much better person now that I live as Arlene.

[LitaKelley]

Hmm.. definitely a curse on my wallet.

[ArleneRaquel]

Hmm.. definitely a curse on my wallet.

Yes it is, but I prefer to look at the bright side.

[Inna]

Turmoil, confusion, doubt, anger, frustration, well if that ain't curse then I don't know what is! But more interestingly all those feelings come about not from our own estimate of our self but our self in the eyes of societal oppression. If it was up to us individually then such curse turns into bliss, wonder, sensuality, vulnerability, femininity, all those point to a blessing rather than curse. So the difference lies in how you view your self. Which is important, to feel centered with society, or your self? I suppose ask your self a question, when near the end, would you rather lived life the way others wanted you to be and shoved your soul deep down into abyss or lived as who you are within and let your soul soar free?

[Kelly Greene]

Yes:

[Annaliese2010]

Neither curse nor blessing to me. It just... is what it is.

[Karren H]

A friggin curse!!! My life would be so much simpler if I could pick just one gender and stay there... Either one and I'd be happy. I not picky. Slip a coin. But nooooo.... I know that's not what was dealt me so I accept it and embrace who I am and move forward...

[Andrea Reynolds]

Is crossdressing a curse or a blessing? I believe the correct answer is yes. Andrea

[Anneliese]

I love who I am when dressed, but there's no question it's killing me financially.

[Ryank]

Um. Like a couple of others here I'm going with yes!!

[suchacutie]

Being in a minority is usually rather difficult, no matter what that minority may be. Being different has its costs, one way or another. I'm not sure I would call that a curse, but more the "cost of doing business"! As Karren said above, life would be simpler in only one gender, but then again, I do love a challenge. Being transgendered is certainly that! The rewards in knowing one's self are even sweeter when one understands the challenges needed to be met to get there!

tina

[CalamityJane]

Is crossdressing a curse or a blessing

Well as with most situations it rather depends on the angle that you are approaching it from....are you a pessimist or an optomist.....do you see the glass as half empty or half full??, your general outlook on life may have a bearing on how you feel towards crossdressing. It is also a situation which has a dynamic nature attached to it, for example you may find that your SO is more accepting of your crossdressing somedays more than others, and from what I have learned from reading post on the forum crossdressing can be very corrosive on relationship, it takes a very understanding SO to be OK with your crossdressing activities.

So be it a curse or a blessing is dependent on many factors, as no two crossdressers are alike or have the same goals in life, some of us are happy to part-dress for some of the time, some like to be fully dressed but not venture outside the house, whilst others desire to be dressed 24/7 and do so. Therefore level of dressing time is another key factor.

One anomaly that I have observed in the replies to this thread is those who cite the effect that crossdressing has on the wallet. Firstly I am surprised that its your "wallet" and not your "pocket book" , but back to the point, I by no means have a large amount of disposable income, infact far from it, but I have over time learned to pace myself and to not leave me or the household short of money. Yes you can argue that any money spent on crossdressing is a foolish waste, and that the money could be better spent on something else, but where do you draw the line, some people enjoy smoking, others like to drink .....I think you get the general idea, we all chose to spend our money in our own personal ways.

So....Curse or Blessing....you decide.....only you really know the true answer??

[FionaO]

A curse or a blessing? That's an interesting one. I do spend a lot of money on clothes but a lot less in a year than it would take to join a golf club for example, so that aspect doesn't bother me.
I love the company of beautiful women especially when they are nicely dressed and I think my CDing stems from trying to be like them. I recently came to the conclusion that if it wasn't for my CDing I would be a terrible philanderer. However I have been happily married for 30 years and have never been in anyway unfaithful. Hence in many ways CDing has kept me faithful to my beautiful wife and kept my family together.