I spotted the feral cd today

[Sarah Doepner]

For the first time in years I saw a cd out and about in the community. She was filling her car with gas at the local grocery store affiliated gas station. She was a mature lady wearing a very short black dress and heels at noon. I thought it was a little young for her, but she did have nice legs, so I'll just say I was surprised at that level of formal wear during the lunch hour.

I was filling my car on the other side of the pumps and dressed in drab. So following the general advice provided here I smiled to my self and went on my way knowing that my neighborhood has feral crossdressers. I would have liked to invite her to one of our meetings, but maybe I'll see her again.

So here is my question, if you see the same CD more than once in public is it okay then to talk to them?

[AKAMichelle]

I don't always take advice well. I would have talked with her if you could have talked privately for a few minutes.

[Jay Cee]

I'd say only talk to a cd if it is friendly small talk that you might make with anyone, and in no way let on that you know that she is crossdressing.

[PretzelGirl]

Well, while you will probably remember the other person (for obvious reasons), they will probably not realize it is second run-in. But if you have some interaction the first time and run into them again, then things can become possible. And you can probably feel that out based on the conversation.

[Rachel Morley]

Humm ... I guess it's maybe a slightly tricky situation. If you did invite her to one of your meetings (because you're trying to be friendly) then she's gonna know you read her and she might be a bit bummed that she didn't pass. I would say if she is a CDer from anywhere near where you live she probably already knows about your group assuming you have a website and it comes up in Google when you type in: "crossdressing support groups in Utah, north of West Jordan, south of North Salt Lake & west of South Salt Lake"

[suchacutie]

I guess I don't see an issue. When I run into another CD I just start a conversation like I would with any other person. I don't acknowledge her gender presentation choice one way or the other unless she brings it up. If you happen to run into her again and again, the conversation will expand normally.

Sometimes I think we (me too) are hung up a bit too much on our own perspective. Let's just meet people and be friendly, regardless of our gender presentation.

tina

[Kathi Lake]

It's a toughie!

I anyone saw me, I would welcome the interaction. To me, the more, the merrier. Of course, I'm not exactly that bright. Hmmmmm. Maybe I'm not the best example.

Seriously, I don't understand the shyness. You're out there, right? Isn't part of the goal of being out there - among the people - to interact with the people? Am I missing something?

Kathi

[Sallee]

It sounds like she didn't pass at least to you she was a little over dressed for the occasion I know we are all guilty of that sometimes. That is why you clocked her. You could have said something llike "hi you look familiar, do I know you from (choice your support group)"

[Loni]

maybe next time...if there is one, just say hello and let it go at that, then if again then say some thing nice. not cross dressing related.
some will only respond if worked slowly into it..just jumping in could send them deep into the closet.

.

[Shananigans]

Probably shouldn't talk to her...you might catch something...

No, but seriously, why not just say something friendly and non-CDing related? You don't have to point out that you have clocked her, but being friendly shouldn't do any harm.

[Pythos]

Who in the hell said to NOT communicate, or compliment? What the hell? I am sorry, if I see someone I am gonna compliment them if I like the style or outfit they are wearing.

[Ashleythenewgirl]

Thanks Pythos. I am really worried about going out en femme for the first time. I don't want to look like an idiot or anything....being as self conscious as I am having another CD (or anyone really) be nice would lift my spirits.

[Vickie_CDTV]

You could make some benign smalltalk, and drop a TG reference that would the average non-tg person would not be familiar with (eg. I like your outfit, my wife/girlfriend wore something similar when we went to a Southern Comfort Conference) or (I love your car, gets great mileage, a friend of mine up at the <local TG group name> organization has one just like it.) See if there is any reaction from her.

[sterling12]

If you met again, in The Same Place; a nice little waved "hello" would be a good start. I know we seem very timid, but it's all for her sake. Running up and Hugging them, an uninvited conversation about "How good you look," would be very jarring for The Average CD whose out filling up their Dinasourmobile. If She responded to Your Non-Threatening Advance, maybe you could go from there.

You did good. You followed The Combined Wisdom from many previous threads, and did not frighten her. I have one idea which might scare her a bit, but I think after she thinks about it, just might respond. I imagine you have some Calling Cards you carry for your Group. (I know Tri-Beta Gurls always try to carry them.) I would imagine it wouldn't be inappropriate if you got a chance to slide one under The Wiper when she was away from The Car. It just might gain you a Friend, and it just might open some new Doors for her.

Some might disagree, but if I saw her a second or third time, think I'd take A Small Friendly Chance.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Kim_Bitzflick]

OK my 2 cents.

I would not talk to her. In general, strangers don't start up a conversation unless they have something in common. Would you start up a conversation with a GG in the same situation?

A lot of CD's are very shy & want to get out & build confidence. She may not have that confidence yet & you may put her back in the closet.

BUT you can be friendly and wave or smile if you catch her eye.

[Jamz1b]

Oh great to hear about it in my area! thanks Shara.
I think you could try to make polite eye contact, in a knowing and accepting maner (if that makes sence). And go from there, I would guess that by the level of effort the person put into it, and being in public as well as if that person is interacting with others, that could be a good indication that they are ok with you making contact. Even more so to include them into the triess meetings you have. Shame you probably dont have a card or any thing.

[Sparkles]

I like Kathi's answer. I admire her boldness and total acceptance of herself. You go girl!

[Megan70]

Leave her alone and do what you did, plain and simple. Give her her space and [public]privacy as you would want

[Fab Karen]

How would you talk to a GG stranger? That is the appropriate thing IF you do. Do NOT inform her you've read her. ( & btw, if you were wrong, she might beat you to death with her purse like Ruth Buzzi )

[CharlotteW]

I'd be delighted if another CD'er approached me with "Hi, I'm Dave, aka Davina, just thought I'd say hello and..... don't you look great". There's a couple that walk past my shop on a regular basis, I spotted them at a meeting a couple of weeks ago and wasn't surprised to learn that the male of the couple is a crossdresser, perhaps rather strangely I guessed he was about two months ago. Anyway, if they come into my shop I'll be introducing myself to them.

And to those who say "she's gonna know you read her and she'll be right back in the closet".....I think we are quite sensitive in these matters, it's like the idea of gay men having 'gaydar' (gay radar).

[renneeists]

I'm pretty sure I spoted another in ann arbor recently. If the wife had not been with me, I otherwise had the opportunity to make small talk.
Biggest obsticle would have been the age difference, at least 30 yrs

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="3"]If there is something she is wearing that you like, then by all means, give her a compliment. It will make her day, and you might even make a friend. I still remember compliments I received years and years ago.[/SIZE]

[TxKimberly]

It's a toughie!

I anyone saw me, I would welcome the interaction. To me, the more, the merrier. Of course, I'm not exactly that bright. Hmmmmm. Maybe I'm not the best example.

Seriously, I don't understand the shyness. You're out there, right? Isn't part of the goal of being out there - among the people - to interact with the people? Am I missing something?

Kathi

I'm with Kathi

[Hope]

I think you did the right thing. She has an internet connection and is able to find your gatherings if she is interested (you do advertise on line right?). There is never a reason to ruin a girls day by letting her know she has been read.

[RhondaLynn]

If it had been me, and we were within acceptable proximity & happened to cross glances, I would've casually greeted her, perhaps initiated a short dialog, leaving it open for her to continue if she desired. No reason to acknowledge her as a CD, only as a person like any other that I'd meet as such. It seems that everyone is over-thinking this thing.