So, I'm getting rather discontent with just dressing at home and I do wish to transition to full time presenting myself as female, but I'm a work in progress and I need to become more comfortable in front of other people.
I NEEDED to get out of the house and get away.. not just out of the house and away, but en femme, so, I got dressed up and went to a LGBT club in Manchester, NH since there was no cover charge if arriving before 10pm and figured I'd watch the drag show...
But I don't drink.. so ordered a soda with a straw.. I felt so awkward and out of place, because everybody else was hanging out with other people and talking, dancing, hugging, drinking, etc and there I am, lonely crossdresser sitting at the bar sipping a soda through a straw..
I left the bar to go to the other room and watched people singing Karaoke.. again, pretty much bored.. I wanted to stay a little longer, but it being a Friday night and being about half hour from home, and it being a bar and it pouring out cats and dogs, I felt it's safer to leave early.
I don't think I could do this again.. too boring without a friend with me... but the main thing for me was to place my self in front of other human beings so I can overcome self consciousness and fears... Suppose I need to find friends to go with next time.