Are you afraid of being caught? (and what if you were?)

[Danielle Gee]

Hello Ladies:

Do any of you who “under-dress”, shaves all over, paints your toenails or otherwise feminizes your body ever obsess about being caught?

Assuming anyone who does these things are out to their SO, what about your Kids? Do any of you participate in a sport or other activity that requires disrobing in a locker room?

Have you ever thought of what you’d do if you were in an accident, and had to make an unexpected trip to the Doctor or hospital?

For those of you who worry about this, I like to hear about your “contingency” plan. For those who have been caught, what happened next? And for those who don’t care or don’t worry about this, how did you get yourself to this level of confidence?

Personally, I’m aware of the repercussions of being outed. In this “backwater, red-neck” part of the country in which I reside, it could be serious! I’m as careful as I can be, and I trust luck to the rest. I’ve already decided that if my family Doctor sees me and asks, I just going to come clean to him.

I’m interested if any of the rest of you girls worries about these things?

Danielle

[erika_s]

I chose not to feminize anything.

[linda allen]

........

Have you ever thought of what you’d do if you were in an accident, and had to make an unexpected trip to the Doctor or hospital?

For those of you who worry about this, I like to hear about your “contingency” plan.

A friend is an emergency room nurse. She told us about a patient who came in with painted toenails. He told them he had been babysitting his young niece and she had painted them. He said he hadn't planned on being in an accident.

The worst I have to worry about are bra lines.

[StaceyJane]

My wife found a picture of me dressed but didn't say anything to me but did tell my daughters. I thought I was still in the closet for another year under my daughter left me a letter saying that she and her mom knew.
I then got the courage to talk to my wife about it and she did have a rough time with it at first but didn't say anything to me because she figured I would tell her when I was ready.
Today I am so much happier being out of the closet. i can't imagine going back in.

[linda allen]

My wife found a picture of me dressed but didn't say anything to me but did tell my daughters.

Why would she do that?

[Steph.TS]

I worry, I actually want to feminize as much as possible without anyone actually noticing lol, a while ago I ended up going to the hospital after a bike accident, and a family member joined me, at first it didn't bother me, then it dawned on me, that I was wearing panties, if they wanted me in one of those hospital gowns I would be totally outed, I was contemplating all sorts or ways to get them off without anyone noticing, but they just had my shirt taken off as it was my upper body that was injured, all I can say is good thing I wasn't wearing a bralette or anything else embarrassing.

lately thought I've taken to wearing Levi's 512 jeans, they are women's jeans(have nice elasticity and feel great) but they look like men's jeans. I've been wearing them around my christian family all week long, and this weekend I'm going into town wearing them... I got a size 12 but I think I should have gotten size 10...

sad thing is I have no contingency if I get spotted I'm outed. I reply on people on this forum and researching on internet to see how far I can feminize without others thinking I'm gay, or whatever else enters their heads when they see a feminized man...

like you I live in a fairly conservative part of the country, everyone wants to be a cowboy kinda thing, I've let my fear control me alot telling me I can;t go in this store or that store because those are woman's clothing stores, I'm still nervous going into the women's clothing section of unisex stores. But I'll let you in on a secret, a while ago I wrote a thread call I'm afraid of customers, where I mentioned I wasn't afraid for the sales people but everyone else as they were totally free to judge me. well lots of people gave me advice, and back them I bought 2 pairs of jeans. on Wednesday I revisited that thread, and on Thursday I went to a local mall and I walked in to a Forever 21 store by telling myself no one seeing go in know what I'm doing I could be meeting my girlfriend who's shopping in there, and after I was in there I said pretty much the same thins except for all they know I could be buying for my girlfriend. basically people don't know you from a whole in the ground, and if you are scared go into a mall farther away to reduce the risk of people catching you.

I'm hoping to one day not live in fear but until that day, I'm going to try to expand my horizons.

[Danielle Gee]

My wife found a picture of me dressed but didn't say anything to me but did tell my daughters.ng back in.

Stacey: My youngest Daughter found a photo of me when she was 12 or 13 years old!!!! I was "out" to my wife at the tiime, so when my Daughter asked "Who's this woman?" My Sweetie thought fast and told her "That's your dads sister" Since my real sister had been killed years before, she bought the story. I did get a "strong" rebuke from my Sweetie about being more careful!!

Danielle

[StaceyJane]

Why would she do that?

I don't know but that's what she did. At first she was worried I was gay. Since I didn't know she knew I couldn't talk to her about this. Once everything came out we were able to talk.

[Karren H]

I always said I'd deal with that if and when it happened. Yet in my mine I thought I never would. Then my wife found some of my things and called me. And I dealt with it.. No lies no excuses. "I like to crossdress".

I think most of the people that know me suspect if not know. From their remarks.. Our Sr VP told me the other day "if I catch you wearing zebra high heels to work..." Lol

[kaitlin]

I have come to the point that if I'm hurt bad enough that I have to go right away to the hospital, then I'm not going to worry about what I'm wearing! I have spent a large part of my life in the medical field, you see alot and it gets to be no big deal. For me, my every day dress is painted toes, shaved legs, soon will be hose now that it's getting cooler, and panties! I guess I've done this for so long that it's just second nature!

[alyssaenglefield]

I'm with Katelin on that one - If you're injure severely enough to go to hospital, who cares what you wear.

I read a story in a real-life magazine some time ago of a woman who shared a shower with her SO. Things got a little steamy, she leaned on the glass, and fell right through (it was not safety glass). She ended up in Accident and Emergency wearing nothing but her birthday suit! Her SO was wearing a t-shirt and towel! The doctors didn't mind.

[NathalieX66]

I've kept my eyebrows fairly thin for a while, but now feel a little uneasy with the trimmed & bleached armhair, the pierced ears while in the conference room with my boss, my company president, and about 10 other people every morning. .....just please don't make me take my shoes & socks off so they see my red toenails.

I'm glad I've found outlets. I wait for the day someone I know finds me on this board.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

In my very simplified self imposed philosphy on this is. "It's my body." It is no ones business if I shave, wear nail polish etc. I've had unexpected trips to the hospital where I'm sure doctors have noticed everything is shaved. Again none of their business on why, and I do not owe them or anyone else an explanation. I came to this attitude towards shaving when I was in a work/training situation where I could not shave for a few weeks due to sharing a room with other guys. I was miserable and felt sick having to see coarse hair all over my body. Never again will I go through feeling, that's what gives me my confidence to not care anymore.

[kimberly ann487]

I used to worry about being "outed" all the time. Well now that everyone important in my life knows about Kimberly, I actually feel better. Everything isn't coming up roses in my life, but the world didn't come to an end either. One day at a time.

[linnea]

I worried over these kinds of things for years--even decades--, but my worry was not constant, obsessive, or consistent. Sometimes, I said to myself, "I'll just deal with it if it happens." It never happened.
Then, about a year and a half ago, I began telling my family and finally my spouse. Since then I have been more bold about it all and less worried. I have almost no anxiety about having an accident and being discovered by medical staff. They have seen it all, and for those who have not seen it all, I am willing to help educate them.
It is troubling that any CD has to worry about such things, but it is the way of much of the world. Yet I think that things are changing in little increments.
I reached a stronger level of confidence as I became more accepting of myself to myself.

[PretzelGirl]

I look at it as I don't do anything I am not ready to be caught on. Now that does get run through the ole risk calculator in the mind, but this is my life, and within the limits of how I affect those that love me, I should be able to do what I want. Does that mean I don't expect repercussions for getting caught? Not at all. But I am not going to get worried about what might never happen.

How do I not worry? I think it is part the way each of us is wired and part self-acceptance. I am the kind of person that learned over the years to control my stress or it runs wild. The result is that I just don't get worked up. And I am quite happy (and probably lucky) that I have a good deal of self-acceptance. Every since I started dressing, it wasn't an issue I let run wild through my mind. This is me so why let it bother me?

[tricia_uktv]

I think it goes something like.

Accept who you are
Live with who you are by slowly changing things
Talk and learn about who you from others and people on forums like these
Realise that if people don't like it its their fault
Dress again and again, firstly in friendly places then in openly in public
Develop your confidence
Become proud of yourself
Develop your attitude
Ensure that everybody who needs to know who you are, knows

You are then totally out and not afraid about anything or anybody. It does take a lot of time and effort though.

There is no harm or shame in being transgendered,

Hugs

[Loni]

i pluck, preen, trim, paint, polish. not too worried if someone notices, but with in the past number of years only one has said anything, and it was about my nails, she asked if i had a manicure. yes clear coat on top of shear pink.
but in the town i live in i keep a very low profile. kinda redneck.
as for family. no kids, no wife. only my mom and I left, and she knows Loni.
friends...never stop by as i live out of the way (a number of miles), and with my work/life schedule one never knows when i might be home...or awake.
and most of even my "male" clothing comes from the womens dept. womens jeans just fit better not all baggy in the rear.

i love being who i am.
.

[suchacutie]

Let's step away from ourselves for a minute and look from the outside:

1) I don't have wild hair growing from my ears and nose.
2) I moisturize my skin and it's not all wrinkled or cracked or whatever.
3) I watch my weight and I enjoy looking good in either gender.
4) My eyebrows are shaped...meaning they aren't 3 inches long and looking like the lawnmower might be my best bet!
5) I don't expect to be showing off my panties to anyone except my wife, but if I'm in the hospital who cares what I came in with!
6) I wear woman's jeans, but they fit better and 10% of the male population agrees with me from what I've read recently.
7) My nails are neatly trimmed and covered with a matte finish. Frankly, they look good and it's very difficult to notice that they are anything but buffed.

How is all of this not enhancing both of my genders? Ok, I don't wear red nail polish to work, and usually no ear adornment, but then again I take off all my jewelry in the lab. Also, no one wears nail polish to the lab if you expect to not damage the polish (acetone does a real number on it ).

So, not only do I have to ask, "what is there to "catch"", but doesn't a lot of what we do make us more attractive in any gender?

tina

[Amanda22]

And for those who don’t care or don’t worry about this, how did you get yourself to this level of confidence?
Danielle

I can honestly say that I don't care who knows that I crossdress. That shift happened when I came out to my wonderful, understanding wife. Hers is the only opinion that matters to me. Anyone else can kiss my you-know-what if they think I'm deviant, messed up, or whatever. I consider myself fortunate to feel this way.

[Alaceann]

I had to go to the Dr's for a check uo with my panties&pantihose on with my toenails painted. When he said to take off my shoes & socks. when he saw my toes all he did was raise his eyebrows. when the nurse saw them she didn't even flinch. When I had go across the hall for blood work there she was. I'm sure she told the girls there about my nails but nothing was said.

[AllieSF]

i have slowly feminized my look over the past 3 1/2 years since I started all this wonderful "stuff". I have reached the point where my legs, inner arms, underarms are completely hair free and the rest of my arm hair is trimmed real short. I have trimmed and shaped brows that are about as far as I would like to go for the look that I like. I pierced my ears and my kids didn't like it and the rest of my friends and family more or less accept it without comments. I like to read my daughters In Style magazine and ask for her old copies when I visit her house. My finger nails are longish, "Dad, cut your nails" long, and always have some type of clear or very transparent pink polish on them. I tend to leave things out once in awhile that should not be left out (tops, skirts, etc.). I am single with my grown son living here. After all this I expect that my son and daughter, and probably their confidants (close friends), may have some idea that Dad has changed over the last few years, and maybe even suspect or actually know more. I am in that, if they find out mode, I will deal with it then and be as honest as I need to be. They, in my opinion, are on a no need to tell basis. What I do away from home does not impact them in any way. I am an adult, and old one, and I have that right to enjoy my life before it ends way too soon. I clearly understand the risks involved and am more than capable of dealing with them when and if I may need to do that.

[Cassie/Charlie]

I was caught once by my sister, it was particularly embarrassing, she didn't say much just asked me what I was doing and why I was wearing her make-up, then I think she just kind of forgot about it.

[Rachel Morley]

I have come to the point that if I'm hurt bad enough that I have to go right away to the hospital, then I'm not going to worry about what I'm wearing!

In my very simplified self imposed philosophy on this is. "It's my body." It is no ones business if I shave, wear nail polish etc.

These two quotes pretty much sum up how I feel about it all. I'm me, no one can tell me what I should and shouldn't do (except maybe my wife LOL ) .... I'm not breaking any laws and I'm not hurting anyone.

Over the past 2-3 years I've steadily increased and feminized my boy self to to the point that I do think I stand out as being "different". I have no body hair. My eyebrows are tweezed very thin, my nails are long for a guy (1/8" past my finger tips) and are shaped and and always painted in either shiny clear for work, or a subtle color on the weekends. My toenails are always painted in a bright color. I always wear a bra and panties and sometimes my girls tees are thin enough to show a suggestion of a bra strap. I have not got "caught" yet by anyone at work or the neighbors or whatever. My wife is supportive so there's no problem there. If and when it does happen, I'm going to be super nonchalant about it all. Like it's the most natural thing in the world. If I'm "pushed into a corner" I'll just shrug and say "yeah, I know its weird to some people, but I happen to like it"

[Kate17]

Ditto to most of the above. My wife asked me not to embarass her - meaning wear my girl stuff to the neighbors party. When the time comes, and it will, I will just deal with it. I am always in panties and have toe polish in adition to full shave and plucked eyebrows so I think I am already pushing the limit. No one has said anything so far - I do remove the toe polish when we go water skiing with our friends - again not to embarass her. What was funny once, a couple of the guys showed up with nail polish one day - they had some good excuses. Any way, the last question is what do you do when caught. Well I forgot to take off my earrings one day and a neighbor came over and said my- I did not know you wore earrings. I just said yep, aren't they pretty. She had no answer for that.