What am I afraid of if I were caught?? The unknown more than anything else.. I figure there are the known elements of "are you gay?? are you weird?? molest children?? molest puppies??" yadda yadda yadda.. But the truth is telling was attractive to me a few years ago (ten years ago and then a couple years as well) but my fear of telling isn't the known or the unknown but rather the fact that this little secret I've been keeping for the better part of my life couldn't be undone.. To tell would mean it's out there.. Everyone knows and there is no going back.. No way of being the way it is now.. For better or worse this is the way I want it to be for now and indefinitely.. I have gone out dressed, and being out doesn't mean in public but rather in controlled situation such as a one person situation... I can honestly say maybe up to a hundred people have seen me dressed this way but didn't know it.. I was going about my normal day to day things just not in male clothing and it was night time as well.. Dimly lit areas..