Getting "Cold Feet"!

**Lucy_Bella** · 10-01-2010, 12:50 AM

This Saturday night first time Lucy goes out ever.. Everything is set up, I have a friend and his date going he will drive his date has an apartment near the place we are going to and instead of me getting a room to get ready ,they offered me to stay there (very nice of them

..) So no need to get out of Femme mode and drive home..

I am just a worry wart I guess. I have these concerns like " What if what I am wearing is too ****ty "? or I have never been out in public and I have no clue nor could I ever act like a girl! So I am concerned that even tho I don't come close to even passing as a girl I will just be some weirdo guy dressed up as a guy ****!

What happens if an accident happens ? Should I take my guy clothes with me? .

**Ashleythenewgirl** · 10-01-2010, 12:55 AM

Hmmm a bit of irony here. If all works out and nothing interferes, I will go out into the public as Ashley for the first time Saturday night. It's to the local CD/TG support group meeting and I too am a bit nervous. It's good you have a place to change as I still don't know where I am going to do that. My wife does not want to see me at all en femme. But I think it will get sorted out. I am still a bit nervous since many of the gurls go out to dinner afterwards. Boise is still a small town and I don't want to run into someone I know.
From one worry wart to another, don't worry about the accident thing. Just go have fun.
Let us know how it goes.
Good luck Lucy!

**Lucy_Bella** · 10-01-2010, 12:57 AM

Hi Ashley,
This is a meet group event also , they too go out to eat afterwards..I will pass on that part..I hope your evening goes well keep me posted on how it went and have a blast..

**alyssaenglefield** · 10-01-2010, 01:48 AM

Lucy, the best thing you can carry with you when you go out is a mobile phone and some emergency cash.

Programme the number of a good taxi company into your phone, so if things get too intimidating, you can always get a taxi out of there. It's better to get out of there safely than to end up being a statistic.

**Fab Karen** · 10-01-2010, 04:16 AM

Bring a couple outfits ( one you'd most like to wear, & something else slightly more conservative ) & ask your friends if what you're wearing looks ok for where you're going ( you could switch to the slightly conservative one if they thought it better ). Stop thinking about it, just do it. The mind can create scary ideas which often turn out to not be what happens.

**charlen** · 10-01-2010, 05:42 AM

HI Lucy I know thehow youare feeling .Iam going out fully dressed for the frist time . I am also going to a cd meeting. I am worred to as i can not pass. But i have my wife help and support.

**erickka** · 10-01-2010, 05:49 AM

I too was that way my first few times, but now the only time I get cold feet is when I wear my strappy heels in a snowstorm! LOL

**Jorja** · 10-01-2010, 06:49 AM

Relax girl, take a few deep breaths, then step out that door like the girl you know you are. Everything will be just fine. You are with friends and will be joining others that think like you do. Have a ball and enjoy your night.

**Chari** · 10-01-2010, 08:25 AM

Rather than think about all of the "what if's", take a deep breath, relax, go and have fun! As for your outfit - look at what GG's in your area/age group are wearing and choose something similar. Be certain all items fit you comfortably and you feel confident in them! Staying close to your friend and his date will be helpful too. DO NOT think about "a guy in a dress"! You are Lucy and that is who is going out to enjoy herself!

**TiffanyTgirl** · 10-01-2010, 09:45 AM

Go ahead and step off the curb. If you feel it is necessary, then stash a change of clothes in the place you are changing. The cab idea is great and provides you with a safety net. I had a friend tell me she would not recognize me en femme. She said she would make me as a guy in a dress up close, but not recognize me. Do it. It is worth it. All the denial in the world is truly a waste of precious time. I have wasted far too much of it.

**Sophie86** · 10-01-2010, 01:23 PM

I'm going out this Saturday too, and I've also had some nervousness about it. This will be my third time, but first time really in a public place with a crowd of people around. Don't be daunted by the 'what-ifs'! Good luck, and have fun!

**renee k** · 10-01-2010, 01:30 PM

Hi Lucy, the hardest part is getting out the door. Just go and enjoy yourself.

Huggs, Renee

**Alice B** · 10-01-2010, 01:44 PM

Go out, don't worry about it and you will have a fun and memorial evening.

**AKAMichelle** · 10-01-2010, 01:54 PM

You are putting too much effort into this. Just dress appropriately and then go and have some fun. It really isn't more complicated than that.

**pernille d** · 10-01-2010, 02:38 PM

its true what everyone says , but easiers said than done , "focus on having a good time and forget about the worries " and if its a meeting then that is easier as remember everyoner t that meeting has had to turn up there for the first time so they know hat its like , just relazx and enjoy it , yo may even be surprised and do more than you planned when in the right company .

have fun but be safe

**NicoleScott** · 10-01-2010, 04:59 PM

Sure, take guy clothes with you. If you need them, you'll have them. If you don't need them, no problem. Just having them will give you more peace of mind, let you relax more and have a good time.

**Cassi3** · 10-01-2010, 05:09 PM

Originally Posted by alyssaenglefield

Lucy, the best thing you can carry with you when you go out is a mobile phone and some emergency cash.

Programme the number of a good taxi company into your phone, so if things get too intimidating, you can always get a taxi out of there. It's better to get out of there safely than to end up being a statistic.

I second that, good advice. I will add, RELAX, have fun, try not to worry about what "could" happen, things happen all the time, just RELAX, be yourself. GOOD LUCK and lots of HUGS!

**Lucy_Bella** · 10-01-2010, 06:50 PM

Wow!! I would like to thank each and everyone of you for such encouragement and great advice .. I feel better and more secure about going out that meant alot thanks again everyone..

**PretzelGirl** · 10-01-2010, 09:51 PM

Everyone reacts different to going out. I am willing to bet you will have a wonderful time. What is hard to predict is how much can you bring yourself to do while out before your nerves get in the way. That is okay. Everything can't be done in gulps. Realize that it will be fun and do as much as you feel comfortable. Have a wonderful evening!

**sterling12** · 10-02-2010, 12:30 AM

Now here is The most important thing to do Tomorrow Night. I want you to.....open your ears, open your eyes, open your brain! You only get One First Time! Your going to miss a significant set of memories if you spend all your time worrying about "What might Be's, what could Be's, long shot oddball situations, and numerous detractors" which should NOT be a part of your evening, IF you don't allow them to happen.

I want you to have Fun, Enjoyment, and experience that Special "High," that comes from a First Time Out. If you handle this incorrectly, your going to come back here and say: "Wow, that was fun.....what happened!" You will be hyper-sensitive to everything Tomorrow Night. Use that feeling, make it work in Your Favor!

Peace and Love, Joanie

**Chickhe** · 10-02-2010, 01:06 AM

Here's what will happen:

You will get read
You will not pass
You will look like a guy in a dress
You will not care...

at least if you start from a low expectation it can only get better... take deep breaths, be calm, just be yourself and don't try to fool anyone, you will be fine...and try to smile. Ask for advice and learn from it...

**tricia_uktv** · 10-02-2010, 04:28 AM

Originally Posted by Jorja

Relax girl, take a few deep breaths, then step out that door like the girl you know you are. Everything will be just fine. You are with friends and will be joining others that think like you do. Have a ball and enjoy your night.

Yay absolutely. And as that girl you will know what to wera. Have fun, and I bet you'll go back for more.

**t-girlxsophie** · 10-02-2010, 05:41 AM

That first time over the door is a big step,full of apprehension and was the same for almost everyone on here Im sure,but damn girl once you do it there will be no stopping you.I hope its everything you wish for,and more

Sophie xx

**Claire Cook** · 10-02-2010, 06:23 AM

Originally Posted by t-girlxsophie

That first time over the door is a big step,full of apprehension and was the same for almost everyone on here Im sure,but damn girl once you do it there will be no stopping you.I hope its everything you wish for,and more

Sophie xx

I second this! Trust your instincts Lucy -- and your anti-perspirant... Go Girl!

**LeannL** · 10-02-2010, 06:36 AM

Lucy,
As everyone has said, relax. You will stand in front of the door and think of al sorts of reasons not to go out. After you have let yourself go through the list in your head, say to yourself, "None of them are good enough", grab the door knob and walk out to a world of new and exciting experiences. While we have offered advice WRT what you should do, you need to decide what you need to do. If, as you asked, feel you need to bring a change of boy clothes, then find a bag and bring a pair of jeans and a t-shirt (keeping the volume low for convenience). The bottom line is, do what you need to do to feel comfortable and, as Nike says, "Just Do It".

Good luck and enjoy,
Leann

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