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Thread: Dating

  1. #1

    Smile Dating

    I'm sure this has been asked before so forgive me I'm new.
    Do any of you single people find it easy to date guys or girls
    Dressed as a female? Does being in drag make you more
    Open to playing a female and flirting with men?

    Thanks in advance.

  2. #2
    :) Post-Op Hippie Chick CharleneT's Avatar
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    Just my personal experience, but when I was cross dressing, I had no little trouble getting dates. In fact, met one woman while I was dressed and out with a crew of locals from a TriEss event. We started dating that week. We were together for fairly long after that. Now ... I am pre-op and live full time now, it is much harder to get a date.

    Being dressed up ( I've not been "in drag" before ) did not really change how I acted.
    There is a road—no simple highway—between the dawn and the dark of night.
    And if you go no one may follow. That path is for your steps alone.

  3. #3

    ?

    Why do you think its harder now that you are pre op?
    I personally think I'm at a point where I want to date a crossdresser
    or crossdress myself and date. The only problem currently is where I live
    isn't too free for me to explore. Also, I'm a long way from looking presentable.

  4. #4
    :) Post-Op Hippie Chick CharleneT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrogredick View Post
    Why do you think its harder now that you are pre op?
    I personally think I'm at a point where I want to date a crossdresser
    or crossdress myself and date. The only problem currently is where I live
    isn't too free for me to explore. Also, I'm a long way from looking presentable.
    Well, it varies and sometimes you just do not know. But my guesses are around the idea that anyone who potentially wants to date me knows I'm in transition** and they are not comfortable with all the changes. A big one being that I will go from male sexual organs to female. Depending on the person, this may not be something they are interested in. They may think cross dressing is ok, but may not be comfortable with a TS person. I think the reasons for women vs men are very different. The men who have wanted to date me fall into a couple of groups, but the largest are those who have a fetish for "she males". I am not one, nor do I wish to play that role. Hence I ignore them.

    ** I am quite open and honest about who I am and where I am going with anyone who gets interested.
    There is a road—no simple highway—between the dawn and the dark of night.
    And if you go no one may follow. That path is for your steps alone.

  5. #5
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    I would think that "dating" like going to a show or dinner would be one thing, but when it comes time to be intimate, it might be difficult to determine who does what to whom until you get to know each other better.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Desiree2bababe's Avatar
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    Of course, I'd never go after a man if I wasn't dressed. I've longed for that special woman though that would find me sexually appealing.

  7. #7
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    I seem to be like in never never land or wutever. Might be my age? I'm in full 24/7 transition and on HRT with intentions of SRS someday, if my financial ship ever finds the pier lol.
    I 've had like more than a a few guys hit on me, but it's I who like shows no interest. They're not what I guess I want or you just know they have the "I want to nail a T-Girl for my trophy" attitude. I did have one that really interested me and I needed to take the inititive or wutever though to get it going. We only lasted about three days ( I like cried alone that night...never done that yet) but I was like on cloud 9 before that. That evening while laying dressed in bed after a great day out, or at least I enjoyed it,and sorta messing around he came up with he "still needed time to wrap his head around all this". It was his first time but he just wasn't sure I guess. I was like OK with it all even though I'd never done that before myself, but it felt natural and OK to me. Since he was here for the winter only and going back to Canada later that week, he said that "long distance relations are too hard and never work out". Heard little to nothing since then although he knows where to find me should he have like gotten his head wrapped yet lol. I think deep inside I know we can stick a fork in it, it's like done.
    I've done all the "free" see your matches promotion thingies on the TV online dating ads, but in reality "seeing"" is not "contacting" unless you wanna pay first to continue. Lots of so time consuming profile stuff to attract "Mr perfect". I now highlighted,copied and pasted to a word formant file as it's like so totally easier to wok from that and insert into these profile thingies. I'm like so not that desperate and really pretty leery of the results as a TG/TS looking for a male or female. No luck on the free TV/TG/TS date site, had one contact from New Jersey, but it fell flat with no warning or reasons like so totally sudden even after many emails and a couple of phone calls, he called me BTW.
    I seem to be able to meet girls OK on my day to day life as the girl I am, but most are married or for some reason are like really into you or wutever at first, but never seem to progress to the next level after the I guess 'Novelty" wears off?
    All in all I'm like so totally tired of being an Army Of One, but am open to anything that presents itself to me.

  8. #8
    Fab Karen Fab Karen's Avatar
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    ? If you have interest in guys you just do- clothes do not "make you" do anything.
    [SIZE="3"]Gender is a state of mind[/SIZE]
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  9. #9
    I guess I was just wondering about the gender identity aspect of it. I could imagine a change in attitude when presenting oneself to the world as a woman.

  10. #10
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    The more time I spend making myself feminine, the more feminine I feel.When I think I look very passable I do wonder what it would be like to be the "woman" on a date.All of it, being picked up, doors opened, seats offered.I think it can be another level of the experience.I might even try it myself someday.

  11. #11
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    Not into men....But it is easier to get one that's for sure... Placed an ad on a TG dateing site, made sure I put that I was only interested in women ( gg's ) several times, got one female hit and way to many men..I deleted my account..
    I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.

  12. #12
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I have had hundreds of men interested in Louise, on the internet, but, very few gg's interested in Louise, or my guy self. It always seems like too many men after too few gg's, so being dresses up pretty will get a lot of male attention! I have not yet met up, with a guy yet, but came very close.

  13. #13
    New Member seatown9's Avatar
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    I can't seem to find any women in Seattle interested in cd's!!!

  14. #14
    Bending the truth Juliana Hart's Avatar
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    Everybody tells me Seattle is very progressive?? Sorry you haven't had any luck.

  15. #15
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    I'm a little confused. And, I think this may be where Fab Karen was getting at. If you're bi, you're bi. Why does it matter with the clothes that you are wearing? I have seen a lot of these threads and it still confuses me.

    Maybe it confuses me because I am attracted to both men and women 100% of the time and can't see really "turning off" what turns me on.

    Maybe some explanation?
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

  16. #16
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shananigans View Post
    If you're bi, you're bi. Why does it matter with the clothes that you are wearing?
    If you're not at all sexually attracted to a man when in drab, but you dream about being intimate with one when dressed, does that make you "bi"?

    Others have said it also. Somehow I'm dreaming I'm dressed and being intimate with a faceless male. Would I actually do it if I had the opportunity? I think so, but I'm not sure. It's not likely to happen so I suppose I'll never know.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  17. #17
    Member JenniferLynn0370's Avatar
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    I agree with Fab Karen; it's not really the clothes that do it...I suppose there are probably some exceptions, but I don't have to be dressed up to like a guy. I just see a cute one and want to flirt with him, date him, etc. I love being feminine though and I'm sure that contributes to my feeling this way...I feel like a woman whether I'm dressed in guy or gal mode.

  18. #18
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by linda allen View Post
    If you're not at all sexually attracted to a man when in drab, but you dream about being intimate with one when dressed, does that make you "bi"?

    Others have said it also. Somehow I'm dreaming I'm dressed and being intimate with a faceless male. Would I actually do it if I had the opportunity? I think so, but I'm not sure. It's not likely to happen so I suppose I'll never know.
    I really don't know. I'm bi and I'm 100% bi all of the time. I can't turn it off and on. When someone says that they are attracted to men while dressed, it makes me skeptical. It makes me skeptical because I think you are caught up in a moment (of sorts) and like the idea of being with a guy.

    There are certain things that turn me on (the idea of them); however, I couldn't actually do these things when it comes down to it. It's the moment at he end of the day.

    So, when you tell me that you are attracted to males ONLY while dressed, I think that it is a lot of the fantasy of living that "ultra-femme" expression. It's not really the guy that you are attracted to, but being as feminine as you possibly can.

    In a lot of ways, I feel like this can let you down. Hooking up with a guy just to feel as feminine as possible may actually not be as cracked up as you thought it would be if you aren't bisexual at the end of the day.

    Idk those are my thoughts. What are yours'?
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

  19. #19
    Silver Member Raquel June's Avatar
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    Women are attracted to self-confidence. If you go out in drag to straight bars, or if you just go out with you're hair kinda pretty and wearing girly eye makeup like I used to, people are going to notice. If you've got self-confidence and act like a normal human being, they're going to be intrigued. If you don't, they're going to think you're a pervert. When I had more of a CD vibe, a decent amount of women were still interested in me, but more as a novelty rebound thing with no real relationship potential. If you like women and you want to be treated as a woman, it should be obvious that you need to be in a relationship with a genuinely bisexual or lesbian woman, otherwise things are going to be pretty strange.

    If you want to date a guy, well, they're not nearly as picky, and a lot of them have seen plenty TS porn and are intrigued.

  20. #20
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shananigans View Post
    ...........So, when you tell me that you are attracted to males ONLY while dressed, I think that it is a lot of the fantasy of living that "ultra-femme" expression. It's not really the guy that you are attracted to, but being as feminine as you possibly can.

    In a lot of ways, I feel like this can let you down. Hooking up with a guy just to feel as feminine as possible may actually not be as cracked up as you thought it would be if you aren't bisexual at the end of the day.

    Idk those are my thoughts. What are yours'?
    Well, I'm not really attracted to males when I'm dressed, it's just the thought of having sex as a female. A male would have to be involved. Make sense?
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  21. #21
    Love being me stefanie's Avatar
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    i must be the odd person out there...... for sure. In drab, don't even think twice about guys.....ZERO, ZERO, ZERO. But when dressed, and it could be quite frequent, i have a complete mind shift and gender.... i become more envy of women and really eye their look and presentation. When I look at guys, it becomes completely different.. how i think, flirting, intimacy, look, etc. I am not curious if there are more like me........ or am i really the odd ball

  22. #22
    Silver Member Raquel June's Avatar
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    You don't have to look far to see that there are a lot of guys out there who swear they're totally straight yet go out en femme and try to hook up with guys.

    I get offended when people delude themselves, though. Just because you have a dual life doesn't mean both of them aren't the real you. Most serial killers have a totally normal everyday persona. They just feel stabby now and then. That doesn't mean they're nice guys.

    When you're trying to present yourself as an attractive woman, of course you're going to be flattered when a guy lets you know it's working, but for a lot of people it's much more than that. I'm not exaggerating even a little bit when I say I personally know many CDs who are married and haven't had sex with their wives in months or years, and actively disrupt their marriage by being distant and doing things they know their wives hate like shaving their chest, and sneak around trying to look hot for guys -- many aggressively trying to hook up, but then try to pretend they have a healthy marriage and are totally straight and use bizarre logic to try to explain why what they do en femme doesn't count.

  23. #23
    Senior Member joannemarie barker's Avatar
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    I think some guys do delude themselves cos I did it myself.I convinced myself I only liked men when dressed.took me years to relax and allow myself to think hey I'm in drab but that guy is totally hot

  24. #24
    I'm the Puni one! PuniPuni's Avatar
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    Only two women have ever expressed any kind of interest in me...

    I also find it somewhat infuriating that plenty of gay men find me "cute." I like being androgynous but I'm not homosexual and really, I can't stand when people flirt...

    I think the disabled of any level are at a distinct disadvantage. Visual impairments means you can't see subtle gestures. The "woman across the room eyeing me" might as well be in flippin China for all I can tell. You want my attention, you HAVE TO COME TELL ME!

    Someone who is deaf can't tell subtle changes in voice that comes with flirting. Sure there are more visual cues, but there are vocal cues too. Sarcasm doesn't really exist to the deaf as much I don't think. And EVERYBODY freaks out when someone shows up to a bar in a wheel chair. Admit it. The first time it happened to you, you had no idea what to think. Am I right?

    I hate flirting because I really can't do it. I'm 25 and I've dated one girl and one guy and both times I ended it because they wouldn't actually tell me what was on their minds. I wear my heart on my sleeve and expect the other person to do the same, which is probably why ladies don't seem to like me that way.

    That or they do and don't realize that I CAN'T TELL!! *grumbles*







    Errr, yeah. I am bitter. Sorry.

  25. #25
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by linda allen View Post
    Well, I'm not really attracted to males when I'm dressed, it's just the thought of having sex as a female. A male would have to be involved. Make sense?
    I suppose. Sorta kinda...not really. Haha

    Well, life is short. People are complicated. If it knocks your socks off, why analyze it to death? I won't.
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

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