one thing genetic women are offended by

[vetobob9]

I was talking to my sister this evening. I did not mention my occasional cross dressing but I learned she had some bad experiences with cross dressers.
First one of her ex's kept stealing her clothes, including her underwear. And then, a few years later, she caught one of her neighbors doing the same thing, red handed.

Stealing and putting on other people's undies is very unsanitary and theft of clothing or anything else is always bad. People should always buy their own stuff.

She did mention being upset that her ex kept trying to be a girl, but reading through the lines, it seemed she was most upset that he was stealing and using her clothes without her consent.

People need to do the right thing. Regardless of what you like to wear, you should be honest enough to go out and buy your own, instead of stealing other people's. People who steal clothing from women, whether from their spouses, sisters, or by breaking into their neighbors' homes, are rotten apples that make the CD community look bad.

This behavior helps to spread negative stereotypes and negatives views of men who wear women's clothing. It something the CD/trans community should not tolerate.

[Danni Bear]

Vetobob,
GG's are not the only ones offended by this behavior. Stealing or borrowing without permission is wrong on many levels.This not only includes underwear but any article that belongs to another.
Danni

[Andy66]

Thanks, Vetobob. We are ambassadors of whatever group we belong to - not only gender, but race, career, whatever. If we are tacky or dishonest, we make our whole group look bad. It's not necessarily fair, but that seems to be the way it works.

[Kate Simmons]

Not tolerate maybe but who is really going to enforce that?

[vetobob9]

It's not fair but as long our societies continues to lump people into stereoptypes determined by the actions of a few. For many people this type of behavior, on the part of a tiny minority is all they know about cds. Look at the news these days that depicts cross dressers, it always depicts a CD stealing stuff or doing something else not only illegal but unethical under any situation or value system.
The media picks up on these people and uses them to symbolize the CD community.

Instead of just nitpicking I guess we should think of ways to disprove these negative stereotypes and that they do not represent the CD culture as a whole. But how?

Perhaps outreach? How do you do that when most CDs are still in the closet? It's going to take a long while apparently.

[Gerrijerry]

well said and totally true

[Josey]

Stealing is unacceptable on any level!

[Kathryn Martin]

This behavior helps to spread negative stereotypes and negatives views of men who wear women's clothing. It something the CD/trans community should not tolerate.

Uhhhmmm..... I find the stealing of personal items for personal use by genetic girls really obnoxious at times. Every time I buy a new bag or accessory, jewelery or even skin care my lovely Elizabeth just simply treats them as her own and uses them. Can you imagine if my clothes were small enough for her to fit, let alone my shoes, I would have nothing to wear left.

This behaviour really re-enforces all of the negative stereotypes of GGs that you never know what's in your closet 'cause your girl friend (SO, GG) is wearing it tonight .

[vetobob9]

If your so borrows your things, then she should not have a problem with you borrowing her stuff. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

I'm just referring to that many women are sensitive about this stuff because of the way they were raised and the expectations they have men. Course, I'm sure if it was a GG doing the borrowing, some GG's would have less of a problem.

Some people may be offended or thinking I am judging them. This thread is not targeted at anyone in particular. I regret that some people might feel the OP was an attack on them personally.

There is general confusion and misinformation about CD's among the general public. The point of the thread is not to judge or condemn people but discuss solutions to the problem. What I am attacking is the media using these situations to paint CD's with a broad brush: that all CD's steal women clothing, that all CD's are home burglars or that CD's are gay or pedophiles.

Instead of getting upset about what someone posts, who we will probably never meet in real life, should we not use this thread to discuss possible solutions without condemning?

There is so much misinformation out there because of how the media reports on cross dressers. Because of that, our SO, GF's, and other GG friends might have faulty assumptions when they find us in women's clothing or they find them in our personal things.

[Janet Bern]

My advice to all CDers .. "Buy your own clothes" Besides being yours they will fit

[Karren H]

Yeah yeah yeah!! Stealing is bad... Bad bad bad... Like we don't know that... But I guess for young crossdressers who don't have the means to make money to buy stuff... It would be better if they go out and steal money to buy their feminine things?? That's so much better, imho! Lol.

[AKAMichelle]

I have to admit that I did similar things when I was young and before I could buy my own clothes.

[Marissa]

Yes, stealing and borrowing, without consent (or implied consent) is bad and no one should do that..or resort to stealing (breaking into a house or taking when acting as an invited guest), etc to fulfill a desire.. that is my stance..and now for the rest of the story

Some people may be offended or thinking I am judging them. This thread is not targeted at anyone in particular. I regret that some people might feel the OP was an attack on them personally.

Even though I know the points you bring up are valid..and you don't mean to offend.. but I think most (if any) offense will be from the tone of what you say.. You have been a member here for about 11 months and should have seen threads that were started about "what was the first piece of attire you put on and at what age?" or some countless similiar titles... if you read them, you would see where many 'borrowed' or 'stole' items (from their own home) to fulfill a desire or a need. Even that is not right, but its what someone resorted to because they did not have that support..and for some, it was a way to prevent from being beaten or kicked out of a house. Even some adults (over 18) living at home are afraid of the circumstances so they do what seems to be harmless..borrowing mom/sis/so/gf's items to get that feeling that we seem to cherish.. Maybe its finances or the fear of being outed and dealing with the ramifications..who knows??? Oh yeah, the person living it.. I said TONE, because you did judge them with your first post..they are theives or monsters (rotten apples), they are bad.

Yes, its wrong..yes they need to purchase their own items.. As I would suggest without driving a thorn in the side.

There is general confusion and misinformation about CD's among the general public. The point of the thread is not to judge or condemn people but discuss solutions to the problem. What I am attacking is the media using these situations to paint CD's with a broad brush: that all CD's steal women clothing, that all CD's are home burglars or that CD's are gay or pedophiles.

Instead of getting upset about what someone posts, who we will probably never meet in real life, should we not use this thread to discuss possible solutions without condemning?

There is so much misinformation out there because of how the media reports on cross dressers. Because of that, our SO, GF's, and other GG friends might have faulty assumptions when they find us in women's clothing or they find them in our personal things.

The media will paint whatever picture that sales.. today there will be thousands of MEN with beards walking down the street in a dress or skirt..boots/heels..whatever.. and not a media camera to tarnish the cd communitee.. but for all the women and men (adults and children) that see them will take some sort of impression of cds.. good or bad.. So do we condemn these men for doing what they feel is right to them? Are we to set the standard of what it is to be a crossdresser????? Are we who decides what is TOLARATED or not? Hmmmm I seem to remember a group that thought like that.. anyway..

I do commend you for the passion you so openly display about the cd community so please don't think I'm trying to minimize that..


Again..some of this is based on tone.. and I can't say it enough that I agree, stealing or borrowing without consent is wrong.. So please if you do either of these actions, don't.. try to find another way to fulfill your desires..

These are my thoughts and should be viewed as such..not the majority or minority..just mine

Hugs,
Marissa

[Angie G]

Well said hun.Men are so dumb sometimes. When I want to wear something of my wife's I always ask and it's never underwear.
Angie

[Sedona]

. . .being asked if they're pregnant? Ooops, carry on. . .

[juno]

I think CD get started "borrowing" clothes when they are very young, and have no clue about going out to buy their own. It would help a lot if parents of young CDs would all buy clothing for them. However, there is no excuse once you are old enough to buy your own. Maybe we need underwear/lingerie vending machines to make it easier to start buying.

[Michelle 51]

I agree that we should own our own things and if we're adults like those men you mention its disgusting to wear someones underwear but when your 3 yrs old and see undies laying there and feel this strange urge to wear them and get pleasure from it it's pretty hard to go get your own.I stole a pair of my mothers for myself and never returned them.Wrong i know but i was 3.

[victoriamwilliams1]

Vetobob,
GG's are not the only ones offended by this behavior. Stealing or borrowing without permission is wrong on many levels.This not only includes underwear but any article that belongs to another.
Danni

I agree with Danni! I have also purchased my own clothes and undies. I have taken the cast off that where heading for the dump

[2B Natasha]

When I was a young adult I borrowed articales of clothing. Yes, it was wrong. Now. I have made it a point to not borrow anything from the future wife. Up to and including if she even says it's ok to do. Take last night as an example. We where at home getting ready to settle in and get cozy for the evening. She notices I am looking in the closet for anything besides jeans to wear. Opens her dresser and pulls out a pair of satin baby blue pjs and says. "Here. You can wear these ". Nope. Ain't gonna happen. I don't wear her clothes. I've been down that road before and I didn't like what I saw in the mirror when I got to the end.

[Andy66]

. . .being asked if they're pregnant? Ooops, carry on. . .

Tee-hee! Good one. XD I guess we could write a good-sized thread about what offends people.

Of course little children don't know any better, but adults should. Also, I agree that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. If he can't steal her clothes, she shouldn't steal his either.

So I think one constructive question asked was, in the midst of all the clothes pilfering going on in the world, how can we improve CDs' public image? Personally I think sometimes you can only improve the world one person at a time. All of us good upstanding people have to stay on our best behavior and let the world see that, as much as we are each able to do so. That way people can see that we're not all perverts and nuts. People fear the unknown. The more they know, the less they will have to fear.

[BiancaEstrella]

I always make it clear to any woman I'm seeing that I would never take anything of hers without her knowing it beforehand, but also to not ever really expect me to ask. Because of my height and my size (everywhere), it's usually more productive to ask where ______ came from, and if it may exist in my size.

[amy canada]

I think genetic women are also offended that we get to choose what size breasts we want while they have to stick with what God gave them. Then again, we bought our breast forms and GGs can buy extra padding as well.

[JessiRed]

I was talking to my sister this evening. I did not mention my occasional cross dressing but I learned she had some bad experiences with cross dressers.
First one of her ex's kept stealing her clothes, including her underwear. And then, a few years later, she caught one of her neighbors doing the same thing, red handed.

Stealing and putting on other people's undies is very unsanitary and theft of clothing or anything else is always bad. People should always buy their own stuff.

She did mention being upset that her ex kept trying to be a girl, but reading through the lines, it seemed she was most upset that he was stealing and using her clothes without her consent.

People need to do the right thing. Regardless of what you like to wear, you should be honest enough to go out and buy your own, instead of stealing other people's. People who steal clothing from women, whether from their spouses, sisters, or by breaking into their neighbors' homes, are rotten apples that make the CD community look bad.
This behavior helps to spread negative stereotypes and negatives views of men who wear women's clothing. It something the CD/trans community should not tolerate.

The only person in this group you have identified that I have a problem with are those who are breaking and entering. IMO though, those people are most guilty of B&E and should not be associated with CDing at that time. Whether you intended to or not, you just called 90% of the CDers in the world "rotten apples"

Of course we shouldn't borrow from family or spouses if they don't know, but frankly that's how most of us started, I know that's what I did at first. Was it wrong? Yes. Am I a bad apple? No.

[ReineD]

Uhhhmmm..... I find the stealing of personal items for personal use by genetic girls really obnoxious at times. Every time I buy a new bag or accessory, jewelery or even skin care my lovely Elizabeth just simply treats them as her own and uses them. Can you imagine

That's a good point!

I've often seen threads here where TGs are either happy, or they good-naturedly tolerate their wives borrowing or wearing their stuff. I always felt I should ask my SO if I wanted to wear her blue nightie, but she was always very happy for me to wear it to the point where she said I didn't even have to ask.

Yet I well understand a GG for not wanting her husband to wear her things. Whether he asks or not I suppose depends on how freely they share everything else in their lives. Some couples are OK with sharing a toothbrush in a crunch, while others would find this disgusting. Some couples borrow each others' cell phones indiscriminately while others would cringe if a spouse should do this.

Back to the clothes: other than the size difference (which is a no-brainer, since nobody wants their clothes stretched), why do you think TGs are more tolerant of their wives wearing their stuff than the reverse? Or do some of you also feel your boundaries are stepped on if the wife or gf helps herself to clothes, accessories, or makeup without asking? Would you be OK if she used some of your other possessions?

I honestly don't know the answer to this.

[t-girlxsophie]

Its a no-brainer,of course taking of SO/relatives etc clothing,make-up is WRONG (caps just incase you missed it)I was as guilty as anyone,but what of the 8 year old who has these strange feelings for Girlie things,he cant exactly run to the mall and spend his pocket money,what is he to do,just suck it up,resist the urges for the next 10 years till he gets his own place and ready cash,yeah do that it MAY! turn out ok.

I think some of us forget just how strange and difficult it was starting on this mad,crazy journey.Remember the Grown ups can get their heads round things (mostly),but the child?

Sophie