It's time to stop with all the excuses

[Shari]

There is a continuing theme on this forum an it seems to have raised its head a lot recently.

I was born this way.
I'm a woman trapped in a man's body.
I can't stop myself.
I have to express my feminine side.
Yada, yada, yada.

The fact of the matter is that when you were 3 or 6 or even 12 and tried on your first item of women's clothing, your inspiration wasn't a sudden burst of a few synapses that linked together which in turn fired those neurons that put you under the uncontrollable spell of crossdressing.
Your brain at that time did not possess the cognitive processes necessary to have such an epiphany.

Maybe Mom was very pretty and you wanted to look like her.
The forbidden fruit-you DID know you weren't allowed but just had to try it.
You liked the softness and tactile response of the material. Wanted to know how it felt on you.
You wondered what it would feel like to have boobs.
You wondered what it would be like to be a girl instead of a boy.
Aliens made you do it.

It's very simple.
WE LIKED IT.
It gave us pleasure and still does.
That's why we did it again and again and continue to do it.

No more excuses.

We love it and we're too selfish to give it up.

[Freddy12]

Some folks feel the need to explain why they like crossdressing. For them, liking it is just not enough of a reason. The reasons they give may or may not be the correct ones, but it fills their need to say why they are crossdressing. Others do not feel this need. In any event I do not think that those who explain why they crossdress feel that they are coming up with excuses. If they are it's because they need to, and the excuse fills a need in them, and that's perfectly OK.

[vetobob9]

It is human to want to explain things.

[Patricia Jane]

I like doing it. I enjoy doing it. It is pleasurible. fun and relaxing. on top of all that my wife doesn't mind.

[Danielle Gee]

I like doing it. I enjoy doing it. It is pleasurible. fun and relaxing. on top of all that my wife doesn't mind.

That applies to me too Patricia; I do not feel the need to make excuses to my Wife because she accepts me "As-Is"

On the other hand I also agree with Freddie, some folks just need to explain everything!!! Diffferent strokes for different folks!!

Danielle

[suzy1]

I’m not too selfish to give it up, it’s too selfish to give me up!

Have fun, SUZY

[Karren H]

Ohh please!!! Pleasure? More like torture. I do not do this because I enjoy it. I do this because I'm driven to do this. Most of the time I would so wish it would go away... I makes my life so much more complicated that it should be. I'd settle for one gender any day of the week. Either one. I'm not pickey! I'm really happy for you.. That you know why your doing this because I have no clue... Not that I care why either.... But its not for pleasure for sure!!

[Tina B.]

Your right of course, I just never knew that I enjoyed the years of guilt, lost marriage, hiding, lies and all the rest of the fun things I have been driven to over the years. I guess I will just have to rethink the whole thing!
Tina B.

[ShellyMadison78]

Isn't that the one of the main goals of this forum? To find out who we are, which usually means spilling the beans and unloading or life stories and how we got to where we are today? Are we not here for support of others that are like minded and to gain confidence within ourselves so that we can improve on what we want out of this condition that makes us unique, cursed, blessed....etc? For some this is a hobby, others are in it for the "fetish" or sexual aspect of it all. Some absolutely hate the gender they are born with and are willing to go the distance to achieve their goals and then there are those who don't mind who they are and they make the most of what they got. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the "excuses" to some are reasoning's of what makes them tick. Everyone comes from a different background and upbringings, but we all come here for some type of support and acceptance....especially if we are unable to obtain it in our respective environments.

Shelly

[AKAMichelle]

The explanations work for those trying to explain why they started, but the real question is why you continue. Every one has free will and is able to make decisions, but each person who continues on the journey does so freely.

[CharleneCD]

Shari, never presume to judge another till youve walked a mile in their 3 inch heels.

If the simplistic works for you fine, just dont presume it is that way for others.

[Angie G]

I need no excuses. It's who I am and I like doing it simple as that. If you ask me why I dress it's because I can.
Angie

[Shelly Preston]

There is a continuing theme on this forum an it seems to have raised its head a lot recently.

I was born this way.
I'm a woman trapped in a man's body.
I can't stop myself.
I have to express my feminine side.
Yada, yada, yada.

The fact of the matter is that when you were 3 or 6 or even 12 and tried on your first item of women's clothing, your inspiration wasn't a sudden burst of a few synapses that linked together which in turn fired those neurons that put you under the uncontrollable spell of crossdressing.
Your brain at that time did not possess the cognitive processes necessary to have such an epiphany.

Maybe Mom was very pretty and you wanted to look like her.
The forbidden fruit-you DID know you weren't allowed but just had to try it.
You liked the softness and tactile response of the material. Wanted to know how it felt on you.
You wondered what it would feel like to have boobs.
You wondered what it would be like to be a girl instead of a boy.
Aliens made you do it.

It's very simple.
WE LIKED IT.
It gave us pleasure and still does.
That's why we did it again and again and continue to do it.

No more excuses.

We love it and we're too selfish to give it up.

I am sorry but I am afraid I cant agree with the views you have expressed

What you describe as excuses are fact
The number of those who have tried to give up and failed is astounding
If people were not born in the wrong body the medical profession would not be approving SRS operations

It may be you dont really understand transexuallity

You assume gender is either male or female which I would consider a mistake

We have babies who are intersexed and even doctors have trouble deciding which sex should go on a birth certificate
Why should it be any different even if there are no physical clues to the correct gender of an individual

Yes some will dress because they like it but please do not generalise and think we are all the same

If you want to think some use excuses then fine but please dont assume we all do

[Amanda22]

Oh well, here I go swallowing the baited hook to respond to this thread, but I think this is an important discussion and I thank the OP for starting it. Every one of the "yadas" in the OP's list apply to me. Crossdressing just isn't the same for everyone. As Shelly Madison said in her post, our backgrounds and environments are different. Global statements are often incorrect. Our experiences probably run the gamut. I'll even throw out the "D" word and say that we have a really Diverse population on this forum. Let's practice healthy respect for diversity, OK? That's also what we want from those who misunderstand us as crossdressers. The only true blanket statement I can think of at this moment is that we're all crossdressers (hence this forum), but beyond that we find many, many divergences.

Now, for me, I've wanted crossdressing to go away many times over the last 30 years of my adult life. Evidence: multiple purgings. I truly cannot amputate that part of my being. There have been long spans of my life when I hated myself for wanting something "wrong." I tried and tried with all my might to not think about crossdressing but I failed over and over. I didn't want to CD; I had to CD! It is as necessary for me as breathing. This year, I finally came to accept my crossdressing and my life has entered a wonderful level of peace and happiness.

Do I share my experience because I think it should apply to everyone else? Of course not. But it probably applies to someone else on this forum and therefore can be supportive to know someone else has had a similar experience.

[Michelle 51]

Who says we can't quit.I've guit a 100 times

[Marissa]

Quiet Little Marissa is going to do what she does best...sit in the corner and not say a thing..

And that is based on "I kissed a girl and I liked it" Hey, I never said it had to make sense..

Hugs,
Marissa (the quiet one)

[Tracy X Cruz]

I do think the reason why we enjoy it is important, and part of why this forum exists.

Do I like it, hell yes! Why? Because it makes me feel like a woman, and in many instances enables others to interact with me as if I am female. Being uncomfortable in one's gender role is not something anyone can control, but we can control how we deal with it, and for me that is crossdressing and presenting as female.

That is WHY I enjoy it. It is fine if your only reason for doing it is enjoyment... but for many of us that isn't the only reason, and some do it not because they enjoy it but because it is the solution to gender problems they are struggling with.

[jacky83]

I do this because I'm driven to do this.

Karren, some of us are more compulsive than others. I ,personally, think CDing is more fun than not CDing. To over analyze it is not productive.

[Amanda22]

Quiet Little Marissa is going to do what she does best...sit in the corner and not say a thing..

You could give me a lesson on keeping my lips zipped.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I must say that I enjoy both sides! However I like many wonder why the initial impulse was there and for me it was my mother would say "I wish you where a girl, they have better clothes and a bigger selection than boys" so if you hear that statement too much what do you think would happen? You guessed it I tried on girls clothes and from then on I was hooked!

I do not fully agree with the statement however I have never used any excuse for dressing as there is no excuse for being who I am!

[Tamara Croft]

I was born this way.
I'm a woman trapped in a man's body.

The fact of the matter is that when you were 3 or 6 or even 12 and tried on your first item of women's clothing, your inspiration wasn't a sudden burst of a few synapses that linked together which in turn fired those neurons that put you under the uncontrollable spell of crossdressing.
Your brain at that time did not possess the cognitive processes necessary to have such an epiphany.

This part of your post made me really mad, because I don't think you have the right to speak about all members here in that tone, especially the TS women on this forum who do not need to own womens clothes to know who they are inside. Crossdressers maybe, but not TS women, maybe you should try learning about TS women instead of preaching what they did or did not feel when they were x years old My sister is a TS woman and it isn't about the clothes for her, it never has been and if you knew her, you wouldn't come out with blanket statements like this, it's just rude!

[Marissa]

You could give me a lesson on keeping my lips zipped.

Mandy, I am definately the last one to seek out on learning how to keep lips zipped..just ask Tamara (my fav mod and all around pain in the a$$). Others are doing great with the response..

Hugs,
Marissa

[Loni]

i have always siad it is because i like it, and it just feels right.

[munshine nightwood]

I'll tell you something, my day job as a chef is when I'm in drag for now anyway as a man!!!!!! when I get home at night, and put on my shorty shorts, and a halter top thats when the real me comes out to play!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Daenna Paz]

No more excuses.

[SIZE="3"]Miss Manners here ...

An explanation is a set of statements constructed to describe a set of facts which clarifies the causes, context, and consequences of those facts. ...

An Excuse
Noun: A reason put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.
Verb: Attempt to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offense); seek to defend or justify.

[SIZE="4"]I will buy into the 'explanation' concept, but I've nothing to make excuses over! [/SIZE][/SIZE]