Androgyny vs Transgendered

[PuniPuni]

So I recently took a psychological test that claims to determine my gender type and I have to admit the results are not too surprising.

I didn't suspect I was transgendered. Rather, the test confirms that I am androgynous. I have the physical characteristics of a male and emotional and mental characteristics of somewhere between male and female.

More creepily but sadly also true is that I am aroused by the prospect of dressing in the clothing of the opposite gender. That fact is probably why I'm not going to go through with the whole crossdressing thing. I feel like doing it to get my jollies off is a huge insult to those of you who are trying to live a life through it. It's just mean.

Also, it won't work. I just don't feel like I have the kind of body shape to get away with it.

So then, why did I come here? Well, I have taken advice from the beauty page and I do enjoy just talking to people. But overall I don't really know. I'm glad I've met the people I have in the (ridiculously) short amount of time I've been here. I don't want to leave but at the same time I feel like I really don't belong.

I dunno. Maybe it's a confidence thing. Maybe growing up a rich White male really does make me feel like I don't belong anywhere. Please forgive the emoness tonight. I've been under stress and lack much social support... or really any social support here in Saint Louis, and I don't really have the time or money to build it.

So, like... if anyone here happens to know of a place where I can go to not feel awkward, could you please share that information? I'd appreciate it. Also, the psychology thing doesn't work out when your shrink takes a month-long vacation during the worst parts of the school year. Maybe I'll try with someone else.

[Nikki A.]

We all feel like we don't belong at some point in time. That's what makes our passion quite maddening. As far as arousal goes that seems to be the way most of us feel in the begining. Stay on and we'll all be here to help and at least listen.

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="3"]This is a little on the scary side as you seem to be under the care of a psychologist and, of course, I'm not one. About all I can say is don't over think this thing. I still get excited about dressing and it still arouses me a little and while dressed I feel like what I'm doing is very erotic in addition to being down right fun and challenging.

All of us are men and have very little to work with for starters. We use body shapers, clothing that will mask our worst features, and make up to paint on a face that might be acceptable. Oh yes, and some of us are painfully tall and must wear heels! We just do the best with what we have. Given a little time and experience most of us come up with a look that is passable. You will too.

The worst part of this adventure is the enforced aloneness that we all go through while we are wondering if we are the only people on the planet who feel this way. Be thankful for the internet and forums like this where we come to realize that we are not alone and there are tons of great folks out there just like us going through exactly the same feelings and emotions.

The sooner you simply accept yourself for what you are and what you aren't the happier and more peaceful and grateful you will become. Being a CD is actually pretty darned cool. Not something to be in the least ashamed of. Enjoy.[/SIZE]

[MiamiMarie]

Hello!

My husband took that same test and scored the same thing. He's in your exact same boat but also dresses for occasional daily comfort.

How you get your jollies should not be judged by anyone you aren't having sex with. If you choose to throw on a nightgown to watch TV, then you are hurting and insulting no one. Express yourself however you see fit - life's too short.

However, if you truly feel you are strictly a fetishist, then surely you are still welcomed here as you fit under the transgender unmbrella, which is already the red-headed stepchild of the LGBT umbrella. Most everyone on this site knows what it's like not to fit in.

I imagine fetishist sites cater more towards hook ups than conversations, but they gotta be out there.

[Debb]

Welp, Miami Marie said what needed to be said. It doesn't matter how you "get your jollies" as long as nobody is harmed, and wearing clothing of the opposite gender is not harming anyone. Seriously.

Also, I do believe that the fine people here on this forum would be supportive of anyone, no matter whether they "belonged" or not. Acceptance is, or should be, kinda our motto since we desire acceptance for ourselves more than anything.

And really? Your body is gonna stop you? I'd bet 90% of the girls/guys on here feel the same way. I certainly do. I can't tell you how seriously I take the "avoid looking at photographs of myself", because it really messes up the fantasy image I have of myself when dressed. As long as I don't look too carefully in the mirror, I'm beautiful, and elated and free. You can be, too.

Don't let your body stop you.

Take care and feel free to stay, we'd be glad to have you.

[CharleneCD]

I have the physical characteristics of a male and emotional and mental characteristics of somewhere between male and female.

That seems to descibe someone who is transgendered to me. TG is not just another term for those who are on the road to fully transition and get GRS. It is an umbrella that covers everything from Full Transsexuals all the way to those who only underdress. It also includes people like you and me. Those in the middle. While I occasionaly question where I fit in, I know I am accepted here.

[rosuto]

I wouldn't worry about being considered a pervert. Some transexuals that I met got turned on when they started dressing. Why? Because they felt sexy. But according to some doctor, if you feel sexy in womens clothes, then you are a transvestite and not a transexual. Remember, everything about the transgendered community is subjective, so its up to you to define who you are going to be.

[PuniPuni]

I had to go back to therapy yesterday after something my instructor said to me after class. He is gay and I am the ONLY White male in that class. We were talking and he told me this story about his college roommie who was a very wealthy White male who had so much White guilt apparently he tried to be gay. My instructor told me that he told his roommate he needs to stay straight.

Well, that hurt because on the one hand I'm not straight. I'm bi, and I like transgendered guys. He didn't know that, but the message still was clear. If you happen to be a rich White kid, that means you need to be straight. You can't take on any oppressive role or it just means you're faking it out of White guilt.

That was too much to take. I had to go in for an emergency therapy session and now I'm joining a support group and such. *sigh* I'd like to not be so sensitive to all this one day. Thank you for your support. I am happy to know I'm not the only one going through this mess.

[Alberta_Pat]

It matters not a whit what your background is. You ARE who YOU ARE!

Your brain is wired in the way it is. Trying to fit into someone elses' ideal will not help you. You need only be the BEST YOU you can be. Anything else is illusion. Put on a clown suit, walk on your hands. If that is you, then fantastic. If it is not, then don't pretend.