How 'passable' are we really???

[sometimes-stacy]

Hello all. I very often go out dressed up. I still get just as nervous as I did the first time. Do you think people dont say anything because they dont notice or do they just not care?

[KristinSkye]

I'm sure it's a little bit of both but IMO its mostly that the average person just doesn't care enough to say anything. Sorry you're still very nervous going out; try to relax and just enjoy yourself

[sometimes-stacy]

Opps I put this in the wrong place it seems. Lol still breaking my "blog virginity"

Yeah thats true actually. I compose myself fine until I get to a counter and I suddenly sound like a cross between a cat and 15year old going true puberty lol

[Freddy12]

You probably are very passable, and people don't notice. I think in general we are much more passable than we give ourselves credit for. Having said that, most of us have a long way to go in the voice area.

[eluuzion]

Yeah thats true actually. I compose myself fine until I get to a counter and I suddenly sound like a cross between a cat and 15year old going true puberty lol

Identifying or gawking at a suspected CD is probably not on many peoples' "to do" list. We are all self-absorbed in our own little world when we are out there. The issues we might be subconscious about or "proud of" rarely receive the anticipated recognition that we build up in our minds.

We tend to see what we want to see in relation to the due diligence surrounding the task at hand. There are some people who are naturally keen observers of their surroundings. Most are not unless an incident engages them personally.

The last time you went up to "a counter", can you remember what clothes the person was wearing? how about specific jewelry? What was the name on the nametag? How about the other people around the counter that you did not have contact with...or the others in line at the registers at the time, or pushing carts in the aisles...

We are just not as noticable to other people as we think we are in our own minds. As long as we do not draw attention to ourselves, we really are just part of the backdrop to others. Even if we are noticed, we rarely warrant a person altering their "schedule" to stop and focus on us.

Now if you were wearing clown shoes and boxing gloves with a see thru top and swim goggles...


In short...pick one of these replies that works best for you...hehehe

Internet Forum Reply... "I think most of manage to pass enough to blend in and not "stick out".

Real World Reply... "Most of us will rarely be able to pass "close inspection". Fortunately, most people out there don't really care enough about us to make it an issue."

[tamarav]

[SIZE=4]As a crossdresser there are just some things you eventually have to expect. I work dressed and over the past Christmas holiday I worked at the cosmetics/fragrance counter in a local Macys. I went through the hiring process, through their extensive cash register training and then went on the floor. I half expected every customer to just stand there and stare but it wasn't the case.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]I dressed the same as the other girls and wore the typical black outfits most of us wear in the beauty business. I wore hot makeup and pretty standard hair for me and did stand out against the norm, but I had only 2 incidents of flat out "OMG" statements. Everyone else just asked their questions, bought products and left. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Passing is a personal issue in our minds only. There are women out there that have a tough time "passing", I work on many of them every day in the salons I work in. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]All of us, CDs or otherwise want to pass, or at least attract positive attention. We invite others to look at us when we are out and many times when they do, we feel that we aren't passing, otherwise why would they be looking? Getting looked at is common for most every woman, many times it is just innocent and at other times it is from a devious person simply trying to figure out how to approach you. But, any look you get is the standard for life. Go with it, don't go nuts trying to assume what others are thinking, they may not even be thinking about you..[/SIZE]

[audreyinalbany]

I'm with the group that feels that most people simply don't pay that much attention. As a crossdresser, I'm constantly 'on the lookout' for sisters, and, honestly I can't say as I've ever been absolutely convinced I've seen one of us out and about. But I have seen a fair number of women who are.. how can I put this?... not handsome. As a guy, my mental process as far as observing women out in public is, "hot," "not hot," and "somehere in between." (although I admit I'm always checking out what other women are wearing, probably in an effort to best figure out how I can blend in.) Because of my crossdressing prediliction, I'm probably much more attuned to observing people than average. For the most part, I don't think others really pay all that much attention unless we make a point of making spectacles of ourselves.

[Jilmac]

Even with my ugly puss whenever I'm en femme I'm called ma'am and treated like a lady, so I guess I can honestly say thet most people don't care.

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE=4]Getting looked at is common for most every woman, many times it is just innocent and at other times it is from a devious person simply trying to figure out how to approach you. But, any look you get is the standard for life. Go with it, don't go nuts trying to assume what others are thinking, they may not even be thinking about you..[/SIZE]

[SIZE="3"]Tami just has a way of putting things in perspective. I like the term "good taste". "Elegant" also comes to mind, as does one of my favorites, "classy". "Stylish" is another term used to describe someone nicely dressed and maybe even "dressed up" more than is necessary for the occasion, but definitely not "over the top".

In high school my daughter wore jeans and a sweatshirt almost exclusively as a kind of uniform. If that is what it would take to "blend" and not get noticed, then I'd rather wear my male wardrobe. What's the point if I can't wear heels?[/SIZE]

[kimdl93]

There is such a range among us, in size, stature, facial characteristics...I don't think its possible to make a blanket statement. Some of us just don't feel that the person we see in the mirror can even begin to present publically as female. Others can blend in but closer observation may betray masculine physcial traits, and some lucky ladies look totally feminine. In the end all that matters is that we are comfortable with ourselves and the situations we are in...if that means occassional dressing for ourselves (and our SOs) at home, spending time with others in safe gatherings, or being fully out there.

[Rhonda Jean]

I think we tend to overestimate our passability. I think people do notice and they do care. They just don't say anything where you can hear it.

That said (IMHO), trying, and I mean trying HARD, as in doing your absolute best to present yourself in the most convincing and acceptably feminine way possible is the only way to do what we do and have any possiblilty of garnering any public support and respect for yourself and our community.

[t-girlxsophie]

I dont pass,but all i ask is to be treated with respect when I am out,we all should have that from decent ppl.I would be happy with that

Sophie

[AKAMichelle]

most likely don't care in my case.

[Christy_M]

I am pretty confident that I don't pass but I think the most people aren't really looking as much as we might think they are. I spent an hour this morning walking around the outer perimeter of the local mall and ran across a few people walking around, too. Not a one of them gave me a second look. I was in a dress with knee boots with 4 inch heels. certainly a large figure looming aorund the area.

[Alice Torn]

Dani, Dittos!

[tamarav]

[SIZE=4]Everybody has their own definition of "passable", but this is mine...334 hayden 11-6-2010 4 (2).jpg[/SIZE]

[Melody Moore]

I find its a little bit of both, with me the majority of people don't pick me as being transsexual however on the odd occasions
I get the odd look or a nice smile from a natal female who picks up on it, but I have found that everyone I have come across
has been very accepting & respectful of me - May God have mercy on their pitiful transphobic souls if they dont! LOL

[Barbara Dugan]

I think they really don't care

[BiancaEstrella]

The average woman isn't 6'3".

The average woman doesn't wear a size 13 shoe.

The average woman doesn't have 8" hands.

Almost no woman on earth has an Adam's apple.

I know what I'm up against, and I don't expect the rest of the world to be "fooled." I just hope that, when I present as a woman, I do so with the class and respect with which I want to be treated. I'm not trying to deceive anyone, I'm trying to be as pretty as I want to be. If I sell woman despite everything I'm genetically up against, GREAT! If not, oh well...

[Nicole Erin]

Normally the TG'a who attract a lot of attention are the ones who dress ridiculous. We have all seen the older ones who are tall and try to pull a Britney Spears look or maybe wear a short skirt.
I sure don't pass all that great and I just go wherever and people don't seem to be looking at me.
Thing is, I dress presentably.

To raise comfort level, look your best when you go out and wear something conservative like maybe a blouse and jeans/slacks, or a skirt with low heels. Even if people DO detect you, they won't really care anyways especially since you look like you have made an honest effort instead of trying to look like you just got out of some kind of tranny convention.

[Melody Moore]

Nicole pretty much nailed it - I go for the casual look throughout the day, so I often wear jeans & a blouse with sandals with light make-up.

If Im going to a business type meeting then I make an effort to look smart & conservative with low heels & the appropriate type
of make up. The only time I would wear high heels if I was going out at night and would dress trendy & sexy with night make up.

[JaytoJillian]

The average woman isn't 6'3".

The average woman doesn't wear a size 13 shoe.

The average woman doesn't have 8" hands.

Almost no woman on earth has an Adam's apple.

I know what I'm up against, and I don't expect the rest of the world to be "fooled." I just hope that, when I present as a woman, I do so with the class and respect with which I want to be treated. I'm not trying to deceive anyone, I'm trying to be as pretty as I want to be. If I sell woman despite everything I'm genetically up against, GREAT! If not, oh well...

Amen, Dani!

[Kelly Greene]

I think the others have said it best when we look presentable and try to blend in the general public is willing to let us alone, for me having nice legs helps but I still have a long way to go with my presentation.

[Sallee]

I have to agree if you look like your trying to blend you will probably do OK because no one cares. But if you are walking in 6" heels and you stand 5'9" with out and the skirt is a mini mini and your at the local walmart. Well maybe.
the key is dress to blenddon't over do it and no one cares

[Melody Moore]

The average woman isn't 6'3".

The average woman doesn't wear a size 13 shoe.

The average woman doesn't have 8" hands.

Almost no woman on earth has an Adam's apple.

I know what I'm up against, and I don't expect the rest of the world to be "fooled." I just hope that, when I present as a woman, I do so with the class and respect with which I want to be treated. I'm not trying to deceive anyone, I'm trying to be as pretty as I want to be. If I sell woman despite everything I'm genetically up against, GREAT! If not, oh well...

You will be surprised.... how about Zulu women from Africa or some women from Germany, Europe & Russia
for example? There are some very tall women in this world & plenty of them with some very masculine features.

There is a transsexual lady I know is 6'4" with a prominent Adam's apple. However she has no issues
now that she is choosing the right clothes to suit the occasion & has learnt how to use make up properly.

Wearing flat soled shoes jewellery such as bracelets & rings can help distract from the size of the hands and feet. Not to much you can do about the Adam'sapple except make it less obvious by using make up to hide the shape of it - lighten up the shadowed areas and darken the lighter areas.

Dressing appropriately to suit the occasion is the best thing to do so you are blending in rather than standing out in the crowd.

If you feel like you are sticking out like a sore thumb, then more than likely you are sticking out like a sore thumb - what I'm getting here at is if you worry & feel uncomfortable you will appear stressed others will notice it and the chances are greater that someone will make a comment about you & that can be devastating. The more relaxed and confident you are & selective about your style of dress, the less others will notice you & more people will be acceptable of you. I'm transsexual and have been living as a female and going out now 24/7 and as I said earlier, i have had no issues at all. Any attention I get, I obviously bring to myself - So the next time I plan on going anywhere I work on any issues to correct those issues.