The quest to "blend in"

[Pythos]

I have been seeing this a lot lately.

The desire to be feminine, and yet "blend in".

I read some here do this by wearing blue jeans and "nice" sweaters or shirts.

I think I may have missed something here.

I am not sure about all of you but one of the things I love about feminine style is at present only women can wear them with little to no fuss.

I don't want to limit my daily wardrobe to those items I DON'T want to wear when in male mode, such as oh I don't know. BLUE JEANS!!! LOL

At least around my area both male and female styles are getting quite dull and boring. Aside from the girl's jeans fitting tighter, they are still friggin blue jeans, or some kind of denim material. Women wear slacks and hardly wear skirts.

I like skirts, I like form fitting pants, or suits, I like that stuff. The only way I want to blend in is when I am blending in along with everyone NOT blending in

Common people. Throw away rigid style, and DON'T blend in. It will make it easier for us silly people that don't like to blend.

[Sarah Doepner]

Ain't that the way it goes? It's the same way when folks start to talk about "skirts for men". If they are designed for men, I don't really want to wear them. I've said before that my goal when I'm going out isn't to pass but to be passed by. I want to wear the things I like, skirts etc., and be able to have the critics pass by before they feel like commenting. I'm in my world and they can stay in theirs and we can both be happy.

[Karren H]

Agreed!! Blending in is totally over rated especially if it involves jeans!! Lol. I'd rather be the only person in a store wearing a skirt (I usually am) and stick out than wear something I hate just to blend!!

[docrobbysherry]

Agreed!! Blending in is totally over rated especially if it involves jeans!! Lol. I'd rather be the only person in a store wearing a skirt (I usually am) and stick out than wear something I hate just to blend!!

Otherwise, how can I be agreeing 100% with Karren?

[Pythos]

This morning I kinda got a shot across my mom's bow.

My niece was over and she was in jeans. She mentioned how she wanted to be in HER leggings instead of jeans, and I asked why she wore jeans. Well she explained that it was what everyone else wore.

I got down level with her, just as my mom came in and said. "You are your own person, wear what you want, not what everybody else wants, you being a girl lets you have a lot more fun. You can wear leggings (and then I looked right at my mom) without getting hit with sexist comments, like a boy would."

Before my mom could say anything my niece said "why would someone do that? I like you in your leggings" My mom was silent.

I consider that a very neat thing to have happened.

I love my niece. LOL

[Oilpainter35]

Hey, blending isn't dressing like a guy in a girls sweater. Blending is wearing all the fem. things you care without standing out as a hooker on the corner. Hooker-Nice looking woman. I believe that is all that is meant by blending. I want to look like a very pleasant woman. Nothing more....Oh and I love the lingerie involved in that. Did I mention the make-up, and nice frilly, or plunging neck line clothing?

[TiffanyTgirl]

I notice many women adopting a more neutral look and it seems what we understand as feminine is what we do. Or is it we are just trying to be ultra feminine? I don't know. I just would love to be able to wear a dress everyday.

[Rhonda Jean]

Seriously, I like wearing skirts as much as the next guy, but I love jeans and heels! I don't do it to blend. I do it because I like the look on me. Now, I'm not talking about just ANY jeans, but, like you said, they're still jeans. It's one of my favorite looks on other women, too. There's just no accounting for taste!

[bobi jean]

Blending in? Isn't that as much a frame of mind or attitude as it is anything else?

[sterling12]

I think You All missed The Point of "Blending." If you want to go out shopping, to avoid a possibility of catching a Load of Crap from someone, (i.e. Teenage Girls, or Offended Women,) you dress like "The Rest of the Herd!" There's an Expected "Uni," that 98% of The Women wear in a Given Situation. If you don't want to "Stand Out," don't want to draw attention to yourself, you start paying attention to The Cues and comply with The Codes. Down here in Florida, even in The Malls, it's Jeans and Tops, Capri Pants, or (God Help us) Poly Pull-On Pants. You will probably be "Clocked," but your much less likely to get into a Confrontation if you Blend and are not offending someone else's Sensibility's. They are much more likely to think, "Live and let live."

Do you have The Right to wear what you want? Of course you do! But if you catch Crap about it, if you draw The Attention of some Pack of Teens, and they Hound You right out of The Galleria....maybe now you might understand one reason why that might have happened. Save The "Clubwear" for The Clubs! You should be getting out anyway, so why wear that Mini and Five Inch Hooker Boots to The Mall? You just lit The Beacon Light that says: "I Stand Out, I want to be Noticed....so, don't you want to give me some attention?" Wear them down At Club Tropico, where they will probably be appreciated. And yes, your right Bobi, "Blending" is partially A State of Mind. Just a lot easier to attain that Confidence and State of Mind if you look and feel like you fit in.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Joanne f]

Blending in, does that mean i can wear a little bikini if i am on a beach full of beach babes

[t-girlxsophie]

I don't see why anyone of us can't "Blend" in even when we are wearing skirts,I too had a negative Image of denims but my opinion has changed a little,I wear denims now and again,but I still feel better in a skirt.

Am sure our fashion tastes can co-exist in harmony

Sophie

[ReneeT]

For me, i try and think of the femme equivalent of what i would wear as a guy in a given situation. I should qualify it, though, by saying that i can dress daily so do not feel to wear my prettiest clothes at every opportunity. I do find myself wearing more flats or low heels than I used to. I really do want to fit in with my environment

[Chickhe]

The blending in part is all about looking like the average woman so you don't get unwanted attention. The difference between woman's and mens jeans is the fit... We CDers like to feel feminine and look good and if a good pair of jeans helps accentuate the curves and make you feel good then they are a good thing. Jeans are not jeans, it is all about the image that is presented and you need the foundation under the jeans to pull it off (padding, no protruding appendages), otherwise, it is just jeans and you will look the same either way...

[RADER]

I think society in general is getting more and more lazy in dressing in any sex.
I remember when I was in school, it was a white shirt, Navy Blue pants, and a tie.
The girls were dressed very modestly and in a skirt or dress.
Today, well anything goes, and GG's are just going with the flow of casual dress,
be that jeans, shorts, or what ever. After all, it is more work to put on hose in the
AM. than just slipping on a pair of jeans. Times are changing I would guess, but where To???
Rader

[Sara Jessica]

There have been some really good replies so far. I hope my 2-cents is a worthy addition to the discussion.

Being one who is a proponent of blending in, let's clarify exactly what this means, at least to me. It means presenting with consideration of time, place, season and event. But there's nothing that says one cannot achieve this without style. It could mean heels, a fabulous top or killer accessories with those jeans. Or maybe even those jeans can rock on their own if you find the perfect fit & style. It could be all of the above but take away the heels in favor of the perfect ballet flats which help you navigate anywhere with a nimble glide. It might mean a beautiful casual skirt (yes, some are clearly more casual than others) and top instead of that dress best reserved for an evening out. It often includes bare legs at the expense of nylons (here comes the gasps!!!).

The choices for blending in with the crowd are infinite and are just as much fun as dressing it up to the nines. And this doesn't mean we aren't seen. I'd much prefer to be recognized as a woman (or tg) with a sense of style than simply an overdressed tg any day of the week.

[audreyinalbany]

of course there are skirts and then there are skirts. I think micro mini's are a little over the top even on the seventeen year olds who can actually wear them and it is the rare gg over the age of twenty-five that you see wearing anything less than a couple inches above the knee. I've got a favorite skirt that is probably, I dunno, six inches above the knee that I wore to a therapy session one time. Even my therapist said that, although pretty, it was pretty 'attention getting.' I like skirts as much as the next gal, but, I've toned it down a bit and now generally go for something knee-length, give or take. i've actually become a fan of long skirts. I've got a couple ankle-length that i love. I also don't ming donning the jeans with a cute top every now and again. I don't want to look outrageous, i just wanna look like a woman...

[kimmy p]

This whole blending in thing is a two edged sword. On one hand "Blending in" can make it a bit tougher to be read. On the other hand what's the fun of wearing woman's clothing if you don't wear the fun stuff that makes you very visible? If I'm dressed I want people to think I look good, not go unnoticed. Now if I could only do that and still pass...

[jenna_woods]

I agree with you all the way, I like skirts and dresses and that's what I wear,only on real cold days will I wear slacks never jeans,

[Billijo49504]

For me, it depends on what I'm going to do. Grocery store, it's jeans everyday. But if I'm goiong to the mall I might wear a skirt or nice slacks. Going to the trans meeting the other night, I had leggings and capris. I haved lots ofclothes and I wear all of them. But as I was reading down, I knew it had to be Karren, with out looking for the name...BJ

[Starling]

I think a frankly feminine look raises fewer eyebrows than a more androgynous look. I'm not talking about cultivating the hooker effect, but making a well coordinated and age-appropriate presentation that shines in the details of makeup, nails and accessories. If you're "noticed" then, at least most civilians will admire your appearance. Nothing will stop the dopes.

I'm giving myself an exercise: to go to a mall and observe how some women, of various physical types, manage to "stand out" without "sticking out." I'll try to mentally discard really gorgeous women from my sample.

Lallie

[Jorja]

so why wear that Mini and Five Inch Hooker Boots to The Mall? You just lit The Beacon Light, that says, "I Stand Out, I want to be Noticed....so, don't you want to give me some attention?"

Around here 5" mini and hooker boot day at the mall is on Wednesdays. There is nothing wrong at all with wearing jeans. Women wear them all the time and look great doing so. That being said, You would normally see me in a Womans business suit with skirt unless it is a weekend or I am out for an occasion.

[Babeba]

Common people. Throw away rigid style, and DON'T blend in. It will make it easier for us silly people that don't like to blend.

I think that the clincher here is that everyone should be themselves, and be the best and truest vision of themselves possible. I appreciate the sentiment that you want to feel freer with your own wardrobe choices, but what about those people who like style and blending? For many, deliberately standing out would be as untrue to themselves as blending in is to you - even if it is inconvenient for you!

[RachelRICD]

When I go out it's usually from work. I wear skirts or dresses and heels to work so when I go out (Lunch, errands or shopping) I am in my work clothes. Guess I stand out but so be it. That's why I present as a woman. I don't own a pair of slacks or jeans. That's just me..."to each her own."

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Well, my two bob worth. I think it depends on the situation as to what one wears. I love a nice pair of jeans and nice top with boots or leggings and tunic and ankle boots for windy colder days, casual dress. A gorgeous pair of slacks that have a nice cut with a nice top and jacket for semi formal cold times. Well cut skirt with a hem that moves as I walk and nice blouse with ruffle edge. And, and, and....... Blending in? Hell no, I dress how I feel but within reason. For me your sense of dress displays your personality and that is what makes us individuals. Blending in, follow the crowd, lose yourself, become a clone of others? NO WAY.