i really appreciate everyone's help and understanding and patience with me. i know who i am now and have introduced myself as male. any other way just feels wrong. as weird as that sounds. i go to a support group as well that has been very helpful and making the transition easier even though the group is mostly MTF. but it doesn't matter they have become my friends. and y'all have become internet friends even though i've done nothing to help you. if anyone needs anything, i'm always here.
jeremy