Reality/Life keeps getting in my way

[Michelle James]

As I have mentioned in previous posts one of my long term goals is to eventually go full time. My very supportive wife is OK with it. The issue is I start every week on Sunday with a fresh set of nails and a desire to stay as Michelle for as long as I can. Then for some reason life get's in the way. Take this week for example. Sunday I got a manicure and OPI Axium gel polish. Last 14 days and needs about an hour to soak off. I was determined to spend the 14 days in girl mode. Monday was great. Shopping all day with my wife followed by dinner and a movie. A total girls day out. Then Tuesday it happened. We got a call that a vehicle we wanted to purchase just became available. I switched back to drab. (except I wore gloves) and made the purchase. Then off the the DMV for plates and title work. All in my male name so i had to dress accordingly to match my ID. That killed the day. Wednesday DR. appt. (He does not know) followed by picking up my new glasses which I ordered in guy mode 2 weeks back and needed to present that way. By the time I got home it was evening. Thursday off to the mechanic with the new money pit. i went to school with this gut so drab it is. Now today I am dressed doing housework so far. My wife would like to go to an auction tonight and yep you guessed it they all know me because i was an auctioneer for 20 years and even with wig and makeup!

Short of moving or coming out to the world via an ad in the newspaper how do I deal?

[SherylynJade]

I really don't know. I've been having the same situation. I just moved to a new place, and with unpacking and getting stuff the way it needs to be, except for around the house, I just don't have time to be the real me. UGH!!!!

[Phyliss]

If "reality" is a problem, then check just how tight the hinges are on the closet door, you just may have to kick it down.
REAL girls have the same set of situations as we have, mechanic, DMV, DR etc. only they don't have to change clothes. Don't like changing clothes, ... change yourself.
Only solution I see, ... I did and am still alive

[Karren H]

Reject your current reality and substitute a new one!! (Per myth busters). My life keeps getting in the way of me playing more ice hockey!! But that's life!!

[Tomara]

Hi Michelle,
I agree with Phyliss and will add that if you have your wifes support take small steps and go for it , you may have to go slow to get used to the changes in yourself but you can't be happy by worrying about what other people might think or say.
If you are going to go full-time you are going to have to do all the same things you do in male mode so you will have to get used to it all sooner or later.
Best of luck to you.

[JohnH]

I think what is holding you back from going full time is having to wear wigs for girl mode. So a solution might be to bring your guy mode closer to that of girl mode.

If I were to go full time it would not be a big deal since I have long hair and don't need any wigs. I don't need breast forms since I am not totally flat in the chest. All I would need is makeup and the clothes - really no different than what a GG would do to look her best.

Maybe that is what you need to do in guy mode is to grow your hair and go to salons occasionally so that it can be trimmed to look neat. It will take several months to get the hair long enough so that you will not need to wear a wig in girl mode. People would also get used to seeing you with long hair since the hair grows out gradually. I can attest that I get no strange looks with my hair as a man. My hair covers my ears and the back is almost shoulder length.

As far as the fingernails are concerned for guy mode, you could put a masculine color on them such as black, dark gray, or dark blue. I don't do that because it is too high maintenance. I do keep my fingernails a bit on the long side and paint my toenails.

[Sandra]

If you want to go full time then you are going to have to get over all of this and just do it.