Regrets namely you name.

[SuzanneBender]

There are lots of post across the forums here concerning names. I have found everything from why did you pick yours to how do you change it, but I have not found one concerning a tinge of regret or doubt that I have about my femme name.

I was born a natal boy. My parents were not kind enough to give me one of those great androgynous names that work well for ladies or men in our situation. So as I express my femininity I obviously need a name that fits my external appearance. Well for you hard core gender transgressors I guess I don't really, but I feel more comfy with one that fits. For my own reasons I chose Suzanne. Hint-thank you James Taylor.

I like my name. I really do. However, there is a bit of regret. Names are supposed to be chosen for us. They are selected by those that love us and in most cases celebrate someone that has come before us or expresses a hope that our loved ones have for our futures.

I guess having a loved one pick your name is one of those experiences that people like us miss out on. Do you see it as a shortfall or am I making to much ado about nothing? Did you select your name or did someone else? Just curious.

[minalost]

Hmmm. In my opinion too many people today get stuck with weird names by well meaning Moms and Dads. "Oh. let's make sure our little boy/girl is unique and stands out in a crowd by naming him/her (fill in the blank with the wierdest name you can think of...) Or they do it my making in a normal SOUNDING name and then just miss-spelling it. "Hi my name is Fred, no that's P-h-r-e-d!" Shudder! I picked my own Fem name and am very happy that I did.
Just my .02!

[GaleWarning]

I am reminded of a Tom Lehrer song which mentions a gent named Phenry.
The P, you see, is silent.

I am happy with my birth name. It describes me to a T.

My on-line name is only there for the sake of anonymity.
And yes, it is deliberately androgynous.

[AKAMichelle]

I do regret the name I chose but I will have to live with it for now. I chose the name from the name my wife and I picked out for a daughter that we never had.

Heather Michelle

[NV Susan]

[SIZE="4"]I did use the name Kimberly but a few years ago a GG friend told me I was to old for that name, it would not have been used when I was born. I changed it to Susan, and I've been Susan ever since!!!
[/SIZE]

[Jorja]

I went with Jorja because my father said that would have been my name had I been born a girl. It is much better than the one they gave me, Gregory yuck!!!!!

[Karren H]

I actually like my birth name. Not a lot of people have it and since Karren is made from that name... I figure my parents chose 5/6's of my femme name which is pretty good!! Lol.

[Lorileah]

No regrets here because it was the name my inner self had long before I started using it. I thought I should have been named Lori and that was my "play" name when I was a kid and needed a girl name. I even loved the letter "L" when I started cursive writing interlining the LL. Then it was like karma later when I was about 12 years old and found my baby book in a box of old stuff. Back then mothers kept baby books especially when they were having the first child. A few pages in after all the fluff and hype was the fill in question "If the child is a boy what will you name him?" and the blank was filled with my male name (my mother said in honor of a young man who was killed in action that she knew. And below that was (yes once again the female is below the male) the question "If the child is a girl what will name her?" and my mother wrote Lori Lee. So somewhere that name had been planted in my mind. I changed the spelling because as we all know when you reach your teens you HATE the name your parents gave you. I have discussed this with my mother and she does not remember writing that down but she says she always wanted to be Linda.

Susan I don't know what age you are but I have a cousin who is my age (54) who is named Kimberly so I don't see how you could not have been born with that name. What did your friend think you should be Mergatroid?

Suzanne and Michelle, you can always change. If you feel something fits better, I would change it now. Easier to do it early. Long before it is etched in granite

In my line of work names "morph" all the time. Rarely does the dog or cat, especially, keep the given name. I will refer you to Old Possum's book of Practical Cats where the chapter on naming cats reads "each cat has three names: one common, one fancy, and one that only the cat knows" Being of the feline purrrsuasion we should have three names also

[NathalieX66]

Mine reflects my identity , ethnicity, and my family tree, which much of it comes from Quebec.
I've seen Chloe and Zoe on that tree too, but I felt that choosing them was too cutesy and trendy. I'd rather name a daughter those names. My aunt Priscilla passed away recently , and I think that name is too flowery.

[dilane]

I actually like my birth name. Not a lot of people have it and since Karren is made from that name... I figure my parents chose 5/6's of my femme name which is pretty good!! Lol.

Ok, Narek? Rarek? Arren? Krane? My head hurts!

[dilane]

My wife picked my name. I had originally selected "Lisa" when I was a teenager. (It really doesn't suit me).

I'd come home from a business trip in Atlanta, and I was imitating the receptionist who had a big southern "drawl", and my wife heard me say the name and said, "That's it: Diane! It suits you."

[Rianna Humble]

I guess having a loved one pick your name is one of those experiences that people like us miss out on. Do you see it as a shortfall or am I making to much ado about nothing? Did you select your name or did someone else? Just curious.

I wil answer these points in reverse order. I chose my first and last name but canvassed opinion from my very best friends for my midle name. I wanted for practical reasons to keep the same initials as my old name, but didn't want a cliche like Renee. As I was thinking it through, the name Rianna came to mind and seemed to fit me like a glove. I wanted my new last name to resemble my old one but still be distinct and Humble goes well with Rianna (even though I often explain to people that it is not a description).

When I gave an interview to the paper, I said (and still believe) that I am lucky to have had the chance to choose my own name, so I don't think I've missed out on an experience, rather I have had an opportunity not given to most people.

Besides, some parents can be very cruel when they name their offspring. A few examples:

1 When I was in credit collections, I had to call a customer (didn't know at the time whether they were male or female) for whom I did not have a complete first name only an initial, so I had to ask if I could speak to A Prat.

2 A similar example was the customer whose last name was Sole and for whome I only had the obvious initial.

3 My erstwhile sister went to school with unalike twins Portland Edwina Augusta Green and her twin brother Philip Edward August. Imagine having to go through school with a name like Portland, or have the alternative of just being known by your initals PEA Green.

4 The people who sold me my house, father and son named Richard but affectionately called "Big Dick" and "Little Dick"

Personally, I would hate to have to live my whole life with one of those names.

[SuzanneBender]

Suzanne and Michelle, you can always change. If you feel something fits better, I would change it now. Easier to do it early. Long before it is etched in granite

Being of the feline purrrsuasion we should have three names also

Don't get me wrong. I love my name. It fits like a glove. I just wished it could have been given by my parents. However, given the stuffy boy names they hung me with (all family names that are a couple of generations past) I probably am much better off. In all likelihood I would have been a Grace, Emma or other old lady name.

Ok, Narek? Rarek? Arren? Krane? My head hurts!

Raren. What a cool name for a hockey player.

I wanted for practical reasons to keep the same initials as my old name.
Besides, some parents can be very cruel when they name their offspring.

I like that idea and have been thinking about the something similar if I ever arrive at the point in this journey where I am making an official name change. I would obviously like to keep my last name and was thinking about hyphenating it with my male first name that just happens to also be a last name. Sounds silly but I thought it would help when it comes to records and such.

Some parents can be cruel with names. I have no idea what goes through their minds. My wife and I spent hours working on names that honor our children.

[anna kate]

I chose a name that was taken from my given name. After my niece "discovered" me, she asked me if I had a fem name, I replied with yes and told her... She said that nobody gets to name themselves and she would think on it, and let me know. She chose my new name from two of my female ancestors. So, its been Anna Kate ever since. I actually like it.

[SuzanneBender]

Anne Kate that is too cool! You have a given name by someone who loves you and its a family name to boot.

[sandra-leigh]

After I changed (unofficial) names last year for family reasons, I found that the new one just doesn't quite "stick" for me. I've been looking around for a good permanent name... and I've been encountering all kinds of restrictions on names that I cannot take. Cannot start with the same initial as my grandmother, mother, sister; can't take this name or that name because my mother has a friend-she-doesn't-really-like of the same name... and so on. Sigh.

[Fab Karen]

His parents named him Archibald Leach. He changed his name & is known to history as a sauve popular guy: Cary Grant.

[Rachel Mari]

I picked my name because I have always really liked the name Rachel.

I pretty well suck at naming anything (cats, dogs, kids) and our cats were named by my wife or kids. When my son was born, it took 5 days to us to come up with a name for him and it fit him. I didn't think of his name but I really like it. On the other hand, as soon as my daughter was born I knew she was a Audrey and it fits her to a tee. The one rare occasion that I succeeded in a name.

I sometime wish that my wife had been in on my fem name and maybe she will be later. More on that later, after couseling. It would mean more to me to have it picked by someone I love very much as they would see in me that name.

So, I may change my name someday, or not. We'll see.

[sometimes_miss]

Real name, sure; because I had to grow up with it, and remember lots of kids making fun of me, and often my name was in that process. But I think it was mostly because my whole childhood sucked. My real name isn't that bad. Regret my fake female name? Why? It's fake. I can change it anytime I want. In fact, you can change your real name as well if you really want to.

[eluuzion]

I think the logic behind my online name is pretty straight-forward. It fits me and my perception of life in general. I do not feel the need to have a first & last name and I will certainly not have a “Miss” in front of it anytime soon, unless I decide to become a Vegas showgirl, lol.

As for my real first name…Back in my more adventurous years, when I associated with people you probably think only exist in the movies, my “friends” started calling me by my initials. I just adopted that “name” and today, most of my friends probably could not tell you what my actual name is. I do not even relate to my real first name anymore.

I always vary the spelling of my first name on applications, etc. Every place I submit my name is different. That way when I start receiving “junk” mail, I know exactly who sold my name, by the spelling of my name. Then I write that company and tell them why I am cancelling all of my business with them.

When I was in sales, I knew a guy named Richard Head. For real! He was a riot as a person and one of the best salesmen I ever met. He got a ton of mileage out of his name, and always got appointments with buyers that nobody else could break into.

I have no regrets about anything I have done in the past...

[Danni Bear]

Name , no regrets as it is a contraction of my name which is the fem version of my male name. so all I've ever actually been is Danni although the spelling was not always the same.

Danni

[Sara Jessica]

I totally see your point Suzanne and as your thread has illustrated, very few of us seem to have had the opportunity to have our names given to us. Consider such circumstances where we might be given a name...

• Parents disclosing "if you had been born a girl, your name would have been..." (oh, but I was, you just didn't see it that way).
• Named by a SO, friend, relative, etc.
• Named by that SO whose introduction to "this thing of ours..." (© Veronica ) is by way of her discovery of you wearing her stuff. Then again, that name may not be all that feminine, might not want to use that one!!!

But as you said Suzanne, our names sometimes fit like a glove. I cannot imagine being anyone but Sara, a name I chose for myself so long ago. I cannot imagine you being anyone but Suzanne, a name which conveys your personality, feminine, warm, and just enough sassy in there to reflect your wonderful personality. Yet Suzanne is classy as well to convey grace as we inevitably grow older. Does the name do all of this on it's own? Not at all. Your personality has made you own it.

Gosh, I hope you weren't thinking of changing it!!!

[Dian077]

Actually mine was picked for me by my parents, lol. My mom wanted another girl really bad, and really thought I was going to be a girl. They had chose the name Dian and did not even pick a boy name . When I was born they had to think of something so they came up with my name now.
I had always remembered that story. So Dian always felt like a natural fit for me.

[Karren H]

Ok, Narek? Rarek? Arren? Krane? My head hurts!

Sooo close. Lol.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Suzanne

I neve really had a feminine name till I became a member of the forum
that's when Blue Orchid came into being. Blue is my fvorite color
and orchids are my favorite flowers.

There's no way in hell that my wife would ever give me a feminine name.

My given male name is one that if you walked into a room and called it
probably four or five guys would stand up.

Orchid