I want to go out in fem. But I'm worried that someone I know will see me, I sorta pass as a woman besides my slightly hairy arms, but I want some advice on how I would go about doing this, I've tried before but I couldnt leave my car from nerves and drove home
I'll tell you what worked for me: xanax. I have a prescription and a took a few, no problems whatsoever. But if you can't get ahold of anything like that, I would just say woman up and give it a try.
Always with love... from Sexy Lexxi!
I don't really wanna take anything, but would be most suitable to wear in public
I guess that would probably be whatever you are most comfortable in that still looks good. Im thick bodied so I alway wear a black top and usually a skirt just because that is how I roll. I've got hairy arms too, so I usually make sure whatever I am wearing is long sleeved.Originally Posted by Jess6887
Always with love... from Sexy Lexxi!
I shave my arms; if you can get away with it, then do it. It takes a little more time but it looks and feels much better.
I like to wear dresses tho, lol but I can't find any jeans that may fit me either, I'm the same big build, I'm 100kg works out 220 pounds I think I dunno just guessing. I dont think I could get away with shaving my arms,
Yeah Ive got a larger, hairy build too, sometimes I want to wear a specific looking dress or something that is revealing, but I can't so I just play to my strengths and try and look as femme as I can being 6'1", 270 with hair all over my arms, legs, chest, and back
Always with love... from Sexy Lexxi!
Jess6887;
I also do not go out dressed. I would never pass. just to big a frame for being a GG.
I do however go out a lot now that it is cooler out with a bra, no forms, panties,
my Lane Bryant jeans, and a neutral top. Running shoes finish off the whole thing.
Now granted, I wish I was in a skirt etc. but it is the closest thing I can do, and
I do not look any different than any one else out there, in any sex. Rader
Hi Jess, i would say as you can't find jeans that fit you then i would wear a long sleeve dress appropriate for the place you are going, such as the park with maybe a cardigan or jacket depending on the weather, you say you sorta pass, just go for it
Jess, I think there are three levels of acknowledgement:
* ah. Girl
* huh. Guy in dress
* jeez! Is that <male name>?
Most people won't even notice you. I wore a skirt suit to the Jon Stewart rally ~ one skirt in a sea of jeans. I looked. Most other people didn't.
So that eliminates 90% of the crowd. Of the rest, you'll fall into the first or second category. Get dressed, look in the mirror. Is that your male self, or someone else? Even if you think you're not 100% passing, you will NOT look like your drab alter-ego. Makeup and a wig do wonders. And long sleeves do wonders for your arms.
Even though you say you can't shave the arms, you could probably trim the hair on them without anyone noticing. If you have a hair trimmer, you can set it to take the hair down to 1/2" first and see how that looks. Keep it like that for several months, and then maybe go down to 1/4".
In the long run, you'll be surprised at just how much people don't care about the absence of hair on your body.
Now that cooler weather is herefor most of us, jeans or tights and a long sleeved blouse or sweater should cover up the hairy arms and legs. I'm thinking sunglasses (feminine style) would keep you from being recognized and also cover eyebrows that haven't been shaved or plucked.
Tights or women's stretch pants should fit just about anyone.
Can you drive to another town or city where nobody will know you?
Last edited by Nigella; 11-05-2010 at 02:44 PM. Reason: At the right hand side of a post is a multi post function, please use this instead of consecutive posting
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
It's been suggeted on this site before, one of the best and safest places to go and walk outside of your car is a cementary. It's open and you can see anyone coming, you can walk and pretend you are searching for a grave and of all the people out there no one will say anything, so do it!
I shave my arms, legs, and chest. When I did so the first time no one really noticed that I did so. With your wearing long pants and long sleeve shirts with this cooler weather no one will notice the change.
John (Legal name)
Preferred pronouns: he, his, him
One of the most valuable assets that helped me get out more: A GG or CD friend.
Someone who can help to distract you from your fears, discuss options for various predicaments, learn from and coach each other.
Keep an eye on threads here about getting out and about while dressed. Some of the ladies pass stunningly, some, with more effort but the one thing they share is unabashed confidence. OWN the place. Nearly no one will question you regardless of their thoughts or opinions. With a friend, the two of you can build that confidence together.
Now, get out there and grow!
Re-read posts from Karen Hutton, TXKimberly, and more.. these ladies RULE their world and are great inspirations to the rest of us who find exiting the closet difficult.
Last edited by Kathleengurl; 11-05-2010 at 12:35 PM.
If you want to wear a dress in public but have to hide your arms you could always wear a shrug or cardigan with long sleeves. Layering up like this can also add to the femme look. Add some nice shoes, jewellery and you’re off.
Jess you've got a car so travel to a different town or part of a city where no one will know you. My early trips out started at a hospital car park, where I built up confidence in myself and walking in heels. Due to my build and hairyness I have to dress to suit my build and not the goddess I would love to be. I dress to blend in, not stand out. As has been mentioned many times on the site, most people are busy going about their own life, to notice you. One of the biggest things I have learned, is it is actually easier/safer being in amongst people on a street, than skulking around looking nervous on your own. I havent had the courage to go out in daylight yet, but it will happen one day. If you are nervous, keep within easy distance of your car. It really is an exhillarating experience being out en femme, I hope you get out and enjoy it.
Keep safe
Margaret
"She snuck up on me from behind. You'd think women would make more noise with those big high heels, but they don't, they've got this stealth thing going..."
Jeans are easy. Lane Bryant among others make stretch denim. I have several pairs of "skinny"
jeans and I am also big. 6' and 260lbs.
As I was very much in the closet, I could initially only dress away from home,
I had a small selection of clothing (usually androgynous tops with jeans, undies and a Wig...
Breasts started as tissue paper or spare knickers and progressed over time to seed filled stockings and water filled baloons, to Silicone Breasts...
I first dressed Fully En Femme (Many years ago) at a TG Shop in Manchester UK... It was quite dissapointing... I am 6ft and 200+ pounds... and they had no clothing that really fit me.
the Breast forms looked Awful, Wrinkley Latex Fried eggs. in Vaguely Skin tone colours...
But it was more than I could do at home...
I pretty much remained upstairs rivitted to the seat in the lounge... but even that gave me some pleasure...
Over the years I have dressed in hotel rooms, and the car whilst away on business.
More recently I have visited a number of dressing services in private flats and houses, which have been more satisfying than the more 'professional' retail shop based services...
This lead to me being invited to go out dressed...
First time was a visit to a Chinese take away.
Later it was to a Pub/Club in Glasgow UK. where I was able to sit amongst a group of other TV's,TG's and TS's and have a chat... even got as far as buying drinks at the Bar, and later standing in line with the Girls, before using the facilities...
More recently, My wife and I have worked on improving our relationship, and she has become more accepting of My dressing,
I now own a dress, four skirts, some femme tops, two pairs of Femme trousers, a selection of undies and some makeup in addittion to my Shoes, Wig and accessories.
On Wednesday evenings there is a 'Transgender Social Club' Meeting, in Manchester UK, I have travelled there and changed into femme clothes a number of times,
Once dressed I have gone in to the Bar area and chatted with other girls, before changing into drab and going home.
In Bolton UK there is a TV shop / dressing service, where the proprietor is not totally proffit orientated,(Unlike many TV shops). and she facilitates 'T' Parties during the day time.
Again I have travelled, changed, chatted, had Tea, Coffee, Sandwiches, More chatting, and then changed before going home...
These visits moved on, to my travelling most of the way home En Femme, then removing my makeup, boobs etc. before finally going home...
Last week, I dressed in Femme Jeans, undies and patterned tights, Femme shoes, unisex 'T' Shirt, and Femme Fleece jacket, and left home with a selection of clothes in a bag for later...
I intended to put my Wig make up and boobs on, once away from the house... but My Sat Nav Crapped out, and I had the prospect of having to try and find an
'A-Z' street, so I didn't dare go the whole hog...
Once I arrived in Bolton, I changed into a Denim Skirt, White Poloneck jumperand Blue Femme 'T'Shirt. and joined the rest of the Girls in the Lounge area. there were three Male admirers and the mother of one of the girls also in the lounge.
Spent the afternoon Chatting had Coffee and sandwiches, then as the 'T' party came to an end, I changed into my dress (retaining the Poloneck jumper to cover my Hairy Arms, ) Repaired makeup, changed Necklace and bracelets, and made my way into manchester,
on arrival in Manchester, I parked the car and walked to a restaurant where some of the girls meet before going to the transgender social club, Had a meal there then progressed to the club, After 11pm. the other girls either went home, or on to other 'T' friendly establishments. I returned, dressed, to my car, and headed home, Via a McDonalds Drive through for a Coffee...
In the McDonalds a car full of youth's Clocked me, and laughed making silly remarks. but otherwise the whole event was no problem.
So Slowly I have been getting more adventurous, and by selecting 'T' friendly areas I am slowly spreading my wings.
Each outing is building my self confidence.
whilst I am still pretty much in the closet around home, Getting out, is allowing me to express myself more freely.
I hope to involve my wife a little so that this is not such a solo affair... but that will take time...
Most people I have met whilst out have been fine...
Whilst driving, I am just another driver...
I probably worry more than I should, about going out En Femme.
I try and dress my age, in modest clothes and keep away from places where large crowds of men congregate, such as football grounds...
I would encourage others to stretch their boundaries and experience life outside the closet.
regards John
i say do NOT shave the arms. use a hair reducer aka nair or of this type. as when the hair regrows it will not be fun, and it look weird. but the hair removers let the hair regrow in a finer tip then just cut off and it will grow back "thinner".
not less just thinner. as not all hair roots grows at the same time or speed.
and if you need a wake up call try a epilater on the arms and legs. ;-O
Hi, Leave your male ego at home. Cover your arms up with a long sleeve, shawl etc. nice groomed wig, nicely applied casmetics, matching shoes and purse and yes don't forget the earrings and oother jewlrey and most importantly now enjoy being Jess. Hugs, abby
Early on in my forays out into public I would always travel at least an hour from where I lived. It makes it much less likely to run into anyone who might recognize you. For early trips out I still recomend jeans and a long sleave top, flats or low heels, and conservative makeup. You want to build up your confidence before you try to look too attractive.
Sally
I have been shaving my hands/arms/chest/legs for years now and only once, at church, did anyone ask me if I shaved my legs! And that was another man and I answered with a totally straight face, YES! I DO! (I was wearing shorts). And that has been for years now! On a trip with the same church group overseas, people saw my black nail polish; although my wife frets over it occasionally, no one else said a word! And my wife is the one who first had me get manicures/pedicures/eyebrow waxing!
So much for fear of the world!!
Don't worry about passing. I may pass in terms of looks, but I don't make any attempt to cover up my masculine voice, so as soon as someone's within earshot of me they know I'm a guy. And guess what? I've never gotten a negative comment. So my advice is just go out there and do it.
Picture yourself locked away in your closet scared to come out everything you want to go out. It will make you mad that you are still there and determined to go out. I just finished a 2.5 day weekend in San Francisco as Michelle. It was the best vacation yet.
Michelle
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