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Thread: "Partially" came out to my family and friends...now I feel upset and depressed :(

  1. #26
    Member bridgetta's Avatar
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    thinking about how hard it is for me personaly to come to terms with it.. have to allow others the space to feel their own way.. ultimalty. crossdressing is freaking awesome. WILD!! free.... we live in a trapped system... cd rebels against it.. its scary that way... its rebellion... they have issues with it.. then. they need to deal... they secretly probably jealous anyway... .. that being said. i am terrified to tell anyone also... so.. cheers to you.. you look great...

  2. #27
    Junior Member Haley's Avatar
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    Thanks for making me feel less ashamed of myself, you're all really great. Yes it was all a reaction to my costume (I didn't say to anyone that I was a cross-dresser, hence using the word "partially" lol...but my pics make it rather obvious and it has made some people ask questions). Yes, it has also made me realise that there's a lot of people out there and in my family who really really hate the idea of me being a cross dresser, and I'll have to tread more carefully. But I've left all my pictures on Facebook and won't take them down xD I'm really proud of what I did and I want people to know that! I know that most of my friends won't have the courage to do such a thing. I think my brother is upset because it taints his perception of me (he's always seen me as really masculine and he looks up to me) and it upsets me too that he feels that way...he called me selfish for doing what I did. But I still am who I was and I'll try to remain true to it! Hopefully as time goes by people will get over it

  3. #28
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    its interesting that you say your brothers says his perception of you is tainted...how about your perception of him being tainted?

  4. #29
    Aspiring Member kimmy p's Avatar
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    Hi Haley. First of all you look great! I'm jealous. Secondly, don't worry about your brother. Even if he truley feels that way he'll either get over it, or you'll stop giving a darn. Either way problem solved. As for pictures on Facebook. I have almost all of my Halloween pictures there. They are safe there if I lose my computer and I get to show them off some. Heck I was thinking about things the other day and normally I hate my picture being taken. The exceptionis when I dressed. Therefore 95% of the photos of me in existence are me dressed fem. You're cute, you pull off girl well, and you should be proud of succeding at your goals.

  5. #30
    Junior Member rocktheplank's Avatar
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    Like almost everyone here said, first off you look great! You've got a good body for it and you look totally femme. Now I'm not "out" per se like some people here are, yeah my wife knows and she told her friend, but that is it, so I can't really make a call about how to help, but just be proud of who you are, Im the oldest of my brothers and I know they look up to me in that way too, so I know how delicate it can be. Just give it some time, if he loves you he will come around. I hope it works out well for you and you are right, it takes more bravery to do that and post it on facebook than it does to sit back and make snyde comments.

    -Lexxi
    Always with love... from Sexy Lexxi!

  6. #31
    You are so stunningly beautiful that I would think it was a crime to to feel bad about your dressing.
    I have never been open about my situation so I'm really glad that you have the strength to share it with those around you.
    That being said, you seem to have some grasp of your desires and who you are so do not let a few negative reactions hold you back.
    You're young and have every opportunity ahead of you. I do understand the weight of family love and approval though.

  7. #32
    Junior Member MaidJamie's Avatar
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    Haley, I think you looked lovely... and I applaud you! You should be proud of yourself.

    You're very brave to come out to your family and friends. Most us spend our lives in the closet. You have to accept that it wasn't realistic to expect to be fully embraced and accepted first up. I think you've actually done pretty well considering. It seems to me the worse fallout you've experienced is being called gay and your brother is in shock, upset and angry with you. Your brother is your brother and he will come around. Your friend isn't your friend unless he accepts you "warts and all".

    You've let the cat out of the bag now and you can't put it back. Be authentic... Remember, what people say behind your back is none of your business. Hold your head up with pride. You are what you are.

    Much love and admiration
    Jamie

  8. #33
    Junior Member Ineta's Avatar
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    I know the feeling - you tell other people, but do not feel any better yourself. Your life remains divided. A secret has been divulged and is not yours anymore. Coming out does not give much comfort.

    But now you can take your crossdressing in your hands and start seeing it the way other people see it. You may even want to limit it to special occasions. Stay a good person. Don't purge!

    Tell your brother you adore girls and want to imitate them and understand better, if you discuss things like that, or if he raises this Halloween issue again.

  9. #34
    abbyleigh
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    Hi Haley, I must commend you for your courage. You opened the door to whom you really feel most comfortable. Shocking at the moment by your brother, yes, Time will in most cases heal that initial reaction. More importantly you opened the door a crack, now blow it off it's hinges. And perhaps the most important message is "Be honest to yourself and everything else will ultimately fall into place". Hugs, abby

  10. #35
    Aspiring Member TiffanyTgirl's Avatar
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    Hale, I am sorry this happened to you. People can be cruel and that includes family. People tend to bash what they don't understand. My SO called me a sick disgusting freak once. It hurts, but you have to be yourself. You are young enough to enjoy this part of you at this time of your life. I wasted my teens and twenties and most of my thirties living in denial. I pray you don't make that mistake. I look back now and realize for what. This hind sight thing is very accurate. Good luck and i hope it all works out.

  11. #36
    Member CharlotteW's Avatar
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    Haley, this is an intersting thread, thanks for starting it.

    I'm wondering..... how many of the disapprovers have ever done or thought of anything 'different' before. It is my belief that nearly all men have shown an interest in a females clothing at some point in their lives. Whether it be as an eight year old when they found their moms pantyhose and wondered what it would feel like to wear them, or perhaps as a hormonal teenager teenager who 'nicked' his sisters panties from the hamper etc etc. Either way, the chances are that they felt guilty about their minor transgression (no pun intended) and refrained from committing the act again, for a week or two at least So to recite an old proverb, those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

    And my advice.....take a break from dressing for a week or two and let the dust settle around the situation, don't even mention it. If anyone else mentions it just act surprised that they even bothered to bring it up. Brush it off as a bit of harmless fun, as that's what it is really.

    If it was I being questionned by my brother about my CD'ing I would reply "and here I am being dissed by someone who [insert their wrongdoings] tut tut" and shake my head in disapproval.

    You've done nothing wrong and hurt nobody.
    Regarding what is written above: Avoid friendly fire, it causes unnecessary tension. Seek clarification if theres any hint of misunderstanding.

    Take care.

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