Purging. Why?

[suzy1]

I could be wrong but is purging because we have the feeling that we are doing something we should not be doing?
That it’s something that’s wrong?
A new post says we are all prone to it. Does that mean we have all felt we are doing something wrong sometimes, a sin perhaps? Or we are not as we should be, we are somehow, not normal.
I can only speak for myself here but I have never felt this way. And yes, I did start C.D. ing at a very young age.
I am not the only one am I? Or perhaps I am just not that sensitive [or I’m thick]
It seems to me it’s a shame that so many waist there time [and money] over this.
There are probably good reasons why some purge, so tell me. I would like to know.

Thank you, SUZY

[Saren]

I personally don't get why people would purge. Maybe that's because I am such a cheap ass, and a mizer when it comes to money I spend on stuff, I don't like to throw stuff like that out.

[JohnH]

I can't stand to throw out perfectly good clothes and shoes. I really don't think it's wrong to be a freestyler - a man who always identifies himself as a man, but has an expanded range of clothing options, including skirts, dresses, heels, and makeup.

[Karren H]

I purge all the time. I over buy or accumulate too much and I'm always trying to keep my collection manageable so I routinely purge old stuff I don't want or don't like to make room for new stuff. Aka more shopping. I don't want to end up being the first crossdresser on the TV show "Hoarders". Lol.

[Christy_M]

My purging was always driven by a thought that without the stuff, I would never dress again. I only stopped purging about 10 years ago due to personal budgetary constraints keeping me from re-accumulating all this stuff. I have lost some great things over the years thinking I could "self cure." To be fair, I have also acquired some great stuff since then...

[StaceyJane]

I purged before I got married. I didn't want anyone to find out about my secret.

[carhill2mn]

I don't know if there are any "good reasons" for purging. IMHO people purge because they think that if they do not have the clothes, etc. nearby they will not be "tempted" again. It usually takes several occurrences of this activity to finally realize that the urge to "dress" will not only come back, the urge will be even stronger when it returns.

[Kaz]

I've recently got rid of some stuff because I have accumulated more than I can sensibly store and keep out of general sight (it's how it is...). I don't think of this as purging. I have "purged" at times as has been descibed above, when I have felt that I need to stop this and not having the clothes around will mean that I can't crossdress.

As Carole, says, you then reach a point where you know (after several purges) that it isn't going to go away and you then make a choice.

Previous posts have discussed the issue that we all have "choice" over whether we dress or not. Some of us know that the psychological and emotional pressure from within will always lead us back if we have the opportunity to do so. It is part of who we are.

S I haven't purged for years, although the desire to do so still comes on every now and again, when I have those "moments".

Now the reasons to purge I have found vary. Yes they are about giving up, aand/or maybe not being found out, but the causes of those feelings vary.

My current "moment" is that I am of an age where my facial appearance seems to be ageing rapidly and I am losing confidence in my ability to do things I used to. I'll get over it and adapt. But I have no plans to purge.

Kaz xx

[VanessaVW]

I gave up purging. Countless times, I said, "I'll never do this again", only to seek it out once more. I just realized that this is a part of me, live with it. Haven't purged for about five years.

[lisalove]

I believe it's because they just haven't accepted themselves for who they truely are.
I belong to alot of CD sites, and I read time after time that someone has purged. These come after they have either been a member for awhile, or have just lurked but read many posts.
Yet they still haven't learnt, that purging is just a waste of time, resources and pocessions.
I wish I could tell how many times I have read the regrets they have for losing many a precious item, they will never get back.

[RachelPortugal]

I purge all the time. I over buy or accumulate too much and I'm always trying to keep my collection manageable so I routinely purge old stuff I don't want or don't like to make room for new stuff. Aka more shopping. I don't want to end up being the first crossdresser on the TV show "Hoarders". Lol.

Surely purging is the total clear out and disposal of one's femme wardrobe. Something I have never done myself, although my wife did it for me once, many years ago, in a period of non-accepting rage.

Making room for new clothes in the wardrobe is quite normal, although buying a larger "armoire" is another solution. I hate waste, so I only hope that, when we purge or have a sort out, we donate the unwanted items to charity/thrift shops.

I can think of one reason why some gurls have to purge. Those who keep their stash in storage or hidden in the loft or garage must have little or no opportunity to launder their clothes, so hygeine must eventually force a purge!

[pernille d]

I can not remember the last time I purged, yes just recently I threw away some clothing as i was beginning to have too much and some things I did not wear anymore. I don't call that a purge I would say more of a clean out.

I can remember 2 major times in my life I purged and that's it . The first I was 13 or 14 and I remember having a fire and throwing one item after another on to the flames like a ritual .I guess I was just trying to tell myself this is not right and had to stop. The 2nd time was in my early 20,s it's a long story but basically that day i had some clothing at work in a rucksack . Some co workers wondered who owned the bagmates found a bag so opened it to find it full of lingeri and nylons, ( which they threw around and made fun of) I had to admit it was mine and made up some story that I was having an afair and they where my lovers . That evening on the way home I threw every thing away because if shame and guilt and that I did not way to have that happen again .

So basically what I am trying to say is I purged to try and cure myself and through guilt.after the 2 nd purge you know the story I started collecting again, never to purge again as I realized there is nothing to gain and I think as also I realized It's something here to stay and part of me . I think most of us have or will purge is it not part of the learning curve of being a crossdresser

[ArleneRaquel]

About a month ago I tossed out over 80% of my femmy things, because my very homophobic had upset me so much. I regret the decision and now I have to start over, which isnt easy because I dress full time.

[Danni Bear]

Suzi,

almost 63 and cd'ing since 7 and transition at 52. never a purge and never a desire or need to. Didn't even have to throw away drab clothes, just gave them to my husband.

Danni

[Danni Bear]

About a month ago I tossed out over 80% of my femmy things, because my very homophobic had upset me so much. I regret the decision and now I have to start over, which isnt easy because I dress full time.

Were you able to get the shouting stopped outside your apt. by him?

Danni

[eluuzion]

Some people make New Year’s resolutions they won’t keep.
Some people flush their cigarettes down the toilet.
Some people pour their alcohol down the drain.
Some people stuff the rest of the ice cream in the garbage.
Some delete all of the saved porn from their computers.
Some rip up all of the saved lottery ticket stubs.
Some flush their drug stashes.
Some erase the cell numbers of their secret lovers.
Some purge their female wardrobes.

They all share the temporary insanity of thinking the issue will disappear “tomorrow”.
All share the realization the next day that resolving life issues is never that easy.

Accepting who you are is not easy for many people. Desperate people do desperate things in an attempt to resolve discord in their personal lives. It takes as much or typically MORE time to resolve these issues that took a great deal of time in your life to become the part of you it occupies now.

I have never "purged". I am just too logically, I suppose...I do not let such issues go that long without resolution efforts on my part. Just me...I like being happy...and am.

[suzy1]

The point for me is, all the guilt over crossdressing is illogical, unnecessary, and even silly. I will stay clear of religious beliefs on this forum. But P.M. me anytime for my feelings on that!
Girls, just enjoy the life you have and have fun.

SUZY

[abbyleigh]

Paranoia... the thought of being caught... and it comes and go in cycles. Until we finally accept that our comfort zone is where we are happiest the control of this abberant purging behavior will continue. Purging is really not a healthy state of mind. It resolves nothing. A temporary fix perhaps.

[msniki48]

Suzy, i just wrote a blog about almost purging on my site....it was all very real to me....fortunately i just stopped dressing and didn't throw the clothes away. now i'm ready to throw the darn clothes out!!! not because it's bad, but because, I GOT FAT!!!! try to stick a size 16 / 18 body into a 14 skirt. sheeeez! im giving myself one more chance at loosing the weight, but at 59...it isn't coming off so easily any more.

frustrated!

msniki48

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I guess it takes time for each person to reach a level of self acceptance, and each person just might not be in a situation in life where cross dressing is possible. I purged several times during my late teens and early 20's. Even if this site had existed back in those days I had not grown enough as a person to accept being a cross dresser and would have still purged constantly in a hope to cure myself because in my mind it was wrong.

I will just attribute this to me being a very close minded and not very accepting person back during those days. For me it took years of constant back and forth self acceptance to grow out of that phase.

On a lighter note I did purge just recently but that was to get rid of clothes that are too big for me and my wardrobe taste are changing.

[Sarah Doepner]

I agree that it has to do with your level of acceptance. I hadn't accumulated very much before I finally accepted my crossdressing. Before that moment when I was feeling like what I was doing was wrong or unacceptable I could just move those things behind other long term storage. It was almost a purge, but never quite a purge. I guess I didn't have the internal conflicts needed for purging. I don't know why I didn't develop those contrary feelings, maybe my home wasn't religious or conservative enough for me to develop the moral outrage needed to have a purge mentality. Or maybe I discovered that even though I crossdressed and it was not accepted, there was no real consequence from those who loved me. Regardless, I've never purged and can't think of a situation, short of my death, that will clean all my girl stuff from my closet and chest of drawers.

And just a question, if its a Pink Fog that has us all girly, is it a Blue Haze that results in a purge?

[Ria]

I purge only to rid myself of items I know I wont wear anymore, like spring cleaning. I had a purging phase when I was younger and didn't fully accept my way in life, hoping CDing would go away if I purged, it didn't.

[MandyLee]

The most major purge I ever did was because I was spending so much time at home dressed up I was getting lonely for a womans love. so I tossed everthing and started going out the front door. I made girl friends but like most of us the urge never went away . yup I started shoping again and dressed when I didnt have a date.

[sometimes_miss]

I used to purge in the belief that I could stop doing something that I knew women didn't like; it was hard enough for a shy, often timid guy to get a date in the first place, much less hope the woman would like me in a dress. And, once dating, I felt the need to CD often nearly disappear; so purging made sense at that point. Sadly, when the relationships broke apart, and I had even less courage to approach another woman, the desire to crossdress usually returned, though sometimes it would take a while. But return it did, to the point that if I meet someone again, I will just put all my girl stuff in a small storage facility somewhere until (or if) I have the guts to tell her. But if it doesn't seem she's accepting, in storage it will probably stay, until the need ever arises again.

[Emily Ann Brown]

I purging because I need a trainwreck was coming when she would find out. I didn't want a divorce. Then she found out and SHE purged me. Then she left anyhow. Now...like my sister Karren I purged (give to needy sisters) so I don't have to add an addition for my clothing. It is something that runs in the family, right Karren (WINK).


Em