She's on her way over, and I'm fully transformed :D

[alexia85]

My friend knows I dress, but has never seen me dressed before... No one has...
I'm SO anxious/fully freaking out, lol...

I feel like I look especially good right now, which is great, since yesterday I felt like a man in a wig...

I'll let you know how it goes

[kimdl93]

How exciting! I hope this goes well. Since she knows you dress, I have a feeling she'll be as excited as you are!

[anonymousinmaryland]

Waiting for your reply.

[lilmissjenny]

good luck girl! cant wait to hear how things went

[Dealight]

Wonderful! I am sure it will go well.....please let us know!!

[Paulah13]

You are so beautiful!

["Mary"]

You look great in your picture. I hope it goes well.

[Misti]

Great look (and luck) Alexia. Hope everything goes well for you. Waiting to hear how it all came out. Hugs Misti

[joanna marie]

You look really cute in you Avitar photo, Does she expect to see you dressed when you open the door or will it be a surprise?

Your profile states that you like to bake I hope you plan on making her a pie

if she already knows and is still willing to be with you I would take that as a good sign

[Freddy12]

I certainly hope it went well. If you act confident, it goes a long way towards things going well. Let us know. We are anxious!

[vickilynn]

Hope it went well for you , Please let us know

[alexia85]

Hooray! This couldn't have been a more pleasurable and positive experience!! I've had a smile on my face all night!

She knocked on the door, then let herself in as usual. As I walked over towards the door, she greeted me with her usual, cheery "Heyy!!" with an additional "It's a pleasure to meet you, Alexia! Oh my god, you look so good!" She went on about my appearance, and how jealous she was of my body (I wonder if she could see me blushing though my foundation/concealer lol), and I told her I was jealous of hers, which I am completely. We agreed to trade if it were ever made possible Thoughout the night, she must have complimented my looks and clothing and everything like 100 times... She couldn't have made me feel any more beautiful.

We did the normal thing - made food, watched tv, chit chatted, etc.. But every topic eventually seemed to circle back around to talking about my alter-ego, Alexia... which I really enjoyed, as answering her questions, questions I've never thought to ask myself, proved to be very enlightening. It really helped me make sense (somewhat) of some things I never quite understood about myself..

Later on in the evening, she surprised me with gifts! A beautiful light-pink knitted sweater/hoody that shes had for years, which I've always absolutely loved. Along with that, two shades of pink nail polish AND remover (she was thinking!) and some makeup brushes (which I desperately need to blend my eyeshadow better)... How freaking awesome is this girl?!

She's really excited about spending more time with Alex, and I'm totally psyched now that someone has seen me in person and their reaction was so positive. Not that I'm under the false impression that everybody's reaction would be the same, nor do I plan on letting anyone else know anytime soon, so it doesn't really matter, but... it's just a great feeling to be fully accepted for who I am by someone who means so much to me.

I am blessed to have such a wonderful, kind-hearted and supportive friend, I don't know what I would do without her!

Next up, she's taking me shopping. I will be in male-form, but I think we are going to have a blast. She's really excited and "honoured" to be a part of this side of my life, and for this I am so thankful and relieved, to now have a friend in real life, with whom I can talk to about my deepest and most personal feelings.

Okay, enough about my evening already, now I'm going to paint my nails silvery-pink!

EDIT: Thank you all for your wonderful comments! These, on top of my already incredible evening... I'm on cloud nine! It's amazing how much joy a simple compliment can bring

Joanna: I never told her she was coming to see Alexia, but I'm pretty sure she was half-expecting it, since I already told her that I'm dressed pretty much whenever I'm home alone.

xoxo

[ChristiesGurl]

Oh congratulations! As a bestie to a CD I'm so happy for you. I love my guy and my girl and I'm so happy to know them both. You're girl sounds like a gem!

[Kara Connor]

Congratulations Alexia - it is so much more fun if you can share your girl time with someone! I've been going out every other week for the last few months with a friend I met at Emerald City in Seattle. Usually we meet at a lesbian bar in Seattle, and just spend the night chatting. Hopefully you and your friend can start venturing out to safe, welcoming places and enjoy yourselves even more.

[Jay Cee]

Good for you, Alexia! Maybe someday I will reveal my alter ego to one or more of my sisters, and shopping will ensue.

[alexia85]

I figured I'd upload a picture of me in my pretty new sweater



Thank you all, again!

EDIT: This forum is SO great, you all are fantastic! <3 I wish I had found this community sooner!!
EDIT 2: Changed picture... The original picture bothered me...

xoxo,

[katrinakat]

That's totally fabulous. I think she probably had an idea.....most women have great intuition. I've slowly come out to and the first one was the hardest. It gets easier with time.
Welcome to a crossroad, it only gets better from here! GO GIRL
STAY FEMME, and be proud! xoxo KatT

[joanna marie]

I am so happy it worked out so well for you,
You are both really lucky to have each other

[Laurenlovecd]

Wow! How exciting for you alexia. I have not yet reached the point of showing anyone other than another CD friend. I love your sweater BTW.

[linda allen]

That's great for you!

"Next up, she's taking me shopping. I will be in male-form"

Why in "male form", why not enfeme?

[rocktheplank]

That is so awesome alexia! I recently dressed for the first time in front of my wife's friend, she was very cool with it and even said a couple of times through out that night "I totally forgot you were a guy, when I look at you out of the coner of my eye I thought you were a girl" That made me really happy! I'm glad you had such a wonderful time, enjoy shopping!

[Angie G]

I'm glad it went so well Alexia. You go girl.
Angie

[alexia85]

Please excuse the length of this post, lol.
--

Well, it's been a bit over a week now since I told my GG friend. Everything has been so awesome, she's so great... The only thing that sorta sucks is that fact that I haven't been spending much time at all with my other long-time, close friend (straight male, jfyi), who used to come over to my place on a near daily-basis...

As of lately (the last few weeks), when I'm at home for long periods of time, I'm Lexi. It takes me less than an hour to turn into her now, while it used to take two and a half or three :O lol... I'm like, totally addicted to this side of me Anyway, since I started dressing, it's almost a hassle to have my buddy over. Firstly, I have to revert back to my male-form, which i Hate doing, and which can take about 45 minutes... and then I have to run around cleaning -everything-, spotless, no pink cigarette butts, no 20" long blonde hairs lying around.. dressing myself so that my skin is totally covered, so he doesn't notice the very recenetly shaved-for-the-first-time legs & armpits, or the fishnet imprints the heels leave on my feet... No matter warm, I have to keep my socks on, and can't wear shorts. Not to mention, I'm hiding something from my friend... I'm lying by omission. Actually, I'm being a phony, a fake, pretending to be something I'm not, by widtholding this information from him. And that doesn't seem right, and, yeah..

Despite what my profile says... Yesterday was my birthday. I never really celebrate my birthday, but I see friends, we have cake and get slightly drunk, hehe and we stay in and take it easy... very low key... thats how I've always liked it. He had phoned me and texted me a few times throughout the day, trying to hang out in the evening..., I'd been dodging his calls 'cause I was dressed, and was scared if I answered he would say "Yo I'm on my way over right Now, see you in 5 peace *click*"... I just couldn't stand it anymore, and decided to give him the opportunity of knowing this about me, based on his answers and the vibe I got from him , following a pre-scripted conversation I wrote as a guideline in advance... So I gave him a call... Below is what I had jotted down... I figure maybe it might help someone as much as it did me... Sorry for the "chicken scratchiness"

-----

first, our usual, quick phone convo re: him coming over:

ME: hey buddy
FRIEND: -yo, happy birthday man
thanks dude, whatsup
-just leaving work, what are you sayin?
chillin man, takin' 'er easy
-cool, u down to hang out?
maybe man... it kinda depends... [make him sense the seriousness]
-okkk...?
ive kinda got something i need to talk to you about
-oh ok, like talk on the phone talk? or can we talk over a drink? [he sounded genuinely concerned here...]
mmm... probably better we talk on the fone... heh
-ok, for sure man, * whats up?

** * (and here's where i began following my pre-engineered "coming-out" conversation guideline LOL

*HUGE SIGH* heh,

we're good friends right?* do u have any secrets?* like about anything, anyone?* you don't need to tell me what they are im just curious.* have you ever told anybody secrets someone asked you not to?

you know how secrets generally get passed around like a sloppy joint at a house party?* like, someone tells their friend something in absolute confidence, like, sworn to secrecy regarding the matter... and then that person ends up telling their best friend, or their mother or whatever, under the same circumstances, right.. like.., sworn to secrecy and all that...

and then that friend, or the mother, tells Their best friend, not necessarily in such high confidence, but as gossip,..and then They mention it to someone as interesting conversation... on and on and on... yadda yadda,* everybodys telling everybody else.. in confidence* cuz the gossip and the fun and exciemtent of sharing secretive information, or even the burden of it... is too overwhelming for them...?

you know?* and then sooner or later... it makes a full circle and everybody who wasn't supposed to know.. now knows...* you know what im talking about?

so like, my question to you is: are you that general type of person who Can't keep a secret, or can you keep a secret, for real styles... like* ... forever and ever, regardless of our friendship status, or geographical distance apart, or hehehe, now hold on, before you answer... im not talking about anything illegal.. or like, anything that would put your well-being in jeopardy in any way... or anything like that... im talking about a totally harmless personal secret that i need to get off my chest, that has nothing to do with you in any way shape or form...* Can you keep you lips sealed..glued shut... for- ever -* ...? *cuz like, to me, this is huge, and if people, any people who i didn't want to find out, found out, i feel like i would die.. *like, id be so embarrassed id have to flee the country or something... lol *do you understand? *can you keep a secret for Real?

IF I HAVE ANY DOUBTS ABOUT HIS ANSWER, THEN: ok... nevermind i even mentioned a secret.. it's really no big deal anyway, *im just making out to be more than it really is.., heh... ok,* we cool?

IF YES:
ok... *we are friends because we like each other as people, and we are honest and sincere.... and wouldn't ever intentionally bring harm to one another...* would you agree with that?

so like, would you still come over if i.. like.. i dont know.... like someomehting totally off the wall...* crazyness.. * * like totally far out....* very "unoridinary"....* LOL * like for example.... like if i liked to wear like.. a full out cowboy get-up like jim layhee from trailer park boys? haha

IF NO, see above "IF NO"...

IF YES THEN:* ok, remember.. sworn to secrecy, regardless of -anything- right??* PROMISE!!

ok buddy...., i feel like lately we've been drifting apart, and i feel its my fault...* if you still wanna be friends, then i need you to know this...* because i like chillin with you, and enjoy your company, and hearing your opinions about things, etcetc...* * im going thru some weird and slightly difficult stuff right now....* and i need to be able to be open with about it, and i need you to try your best to be accepting and understanding...

ive develpoed a secret hobby ....* an enjoyable passtime...* and since i'm not sure you'd be accepting of it,* I end up not getting to chill wit you as often as I'd like...* like* sometimes I have to fake naps, or just let your calls ring through... because im in the middle of this,, and it's very time consuming.., it's not something i can just "drop" when im in the middle of it.........* and i wish you could just come over while im in the midst of it...* * again....*im in a totally confusing spot right now... * , i need you to try to be understanding and accepting of this...* cuz i can't help it...... *and like, i've been doing this since i moved out, so i'm exactly the same person youve always known.. i'm not any different, this changes nothing about me.... oh and im not gay, if thats what your thinking...

however*... i do like girly stuff, by which i mean things society gears towards females and is generally, not intended for males....* like.. for example, the most obvious example i can think of is my music, which im sure you've noticed..... like britney spears and taylor swift, and the like...

yeah and like.. other stuff too... like ...heh... [GG friend's name here] and i paint our nails together... hehe... * like* are you cool with coming over while my nails are painted and glittery* lol?

so yeah, i think you may have an idea where i'm going with this.... * basically...yeeaaahh... for some crazy reason which i have yet to fully understand...i like to dress up like a chick... lol ... i believe the official terminology is "crossdressing"....

----------

So at the end of the convo, he was totally okay with it, and wanted to still come over. His first impression of me dressed...? He looked fairly.. impressed (lol) "Woah, you're TALL!" (The heels, lol) We had a laugh or two, at some quick pokes, and comments, which I was fine with..., He had no problem treating me the same as always, he still looked me in the eye when we spoke (thank god! i was so worried things would change) He asked tons of curious questions, shared some pretty personal stuff about himself with me... which was great, and then we watched the last two episodes of our tv series, just like completely normal, except interspliced with quick little questions of undying curiousity hehe. * i tried to act as feminine as I could the whole night... posture, hand movements, slightly softened voice etc, , and he was Totally cool. *..So freakin' awesome!!

This rocks!!! * YOU ALL rock!

Here's hoping this story inspires others to free themselves from their secret burden.

EDIT: Linda: I'm just not comfortable letting the whole world know... Online is okay, but real life, real world... too many people know me, and I just am not willing to risk my current life and lifestyle... Yet.

xoxo,

[Kerrie Sifton]

What an event! All the best Alexia, you are bold and pretty , and tall too, what fun.

[Debb]

Oh wow! That is fantastic, Lexi!

I so wish that I could do this with any of my friends. I am jealous, and at the same time, I am encouraged to contemplate outing myself to more people.

Thanks Lexi for posting these encouraging words.