Something I've Always Wondered

[Proteus]

A lot of self-proclaimed gender expert yahoos are lashing out about the evil gender roles imposed by society, and a great deal of them even refuse to let their young daughters wearing skirts, lest they'll have a gender role imposed on them. (You don't nearly as often hear about letting boys wear skirts, then enthusiasm seems to fade).

But we love gender! Gender isn't evil or dirty. Talking down to the cisgendered does not make up for any past injustices towards the transgendered.

I've always preferred skirts, whether or not I'm the one wearing them. I know GGs who feel the same, I even saw a talkshow interview of a woman, to the shock and awe of everyone there, declaring that she does not own a single pair of trousers.

[Starling]

For me, the distinguishing characteristic of a cross dresser, in either direction, is that they wear the clothes specifically because they associate them with the other gender. That is, cross dressing occurs as much in your head as on your body. If a truck driver wears pantyhose for the support, or a woman wears men's jeans for the comfort, I would not consider that cross dressing. But if I have panties on under my clothes and nobody knows it but me, I am still cross dressing...

Kudos, Liz! That's the thing in a nutshell.

Lallie

[Janet Bern]

Just my opinion but if you feel a bit more masculine when wearing the mens things, or identify as bit less feminine
I would say you are a CD. Welcome.. what we wear is what we like
MTF like dresses.. FTM like mens sweaters and mens jeans
I guess...

[Chari]

You should always be comfortable and confident in whatever you wear, regardless of how you are presenting! Why is it fashion designers have "boyfriend" items for women, but no "girlfriend" items for guys? As for what GGs should wear - IMO, it should depend on the event, weather, & what the GG is comfortable wearing!

[Rianna Humble]

Being as I've always loved to wear men's baggy sweaters in the winter, and often buy men's jeans b/c they are more comforable....does that make me a CD?

Technically, you are cross-dressing and at one time would have been ostracised for it, but

For me, the distinguishing characteristic of a cross dresser, in either direction, is that they wear the clothes specifically because they associate them with the other gender. That is, cross dressing occurs as much in your head as on your body.

Since you are wearing those clothes simply because you like the fit then I would not class you as a cross-dresser. However

I don't think it has the same impact for me that it does for MTF CD's. I get no sexual arousal from it and it's all for the purposes of comfort only.

I think that you are confusing cross-dressing and sexual arousal. Only some cross-dressers do it for sexual arousal, others do it because that is who they are and (like you) get no sexual arousal from the act of putting on clothes made for those who do not share their anatomical gender.

Also, is it typical for the CD to want a woman to dress in skirts and heels most of the time or are you okay with your GG dressing the way she is most comfortable if it is not in skirts/heels?

I think that if you ask 5 CD's that question, you will get 6 different answers. There are some men who prefer to see a woman in skirts and heels most of the time and some of those will be cross-dressers.

Even when I was pretending to be a man, I didn't try to impose my ideas about dress on a woman. I preferred her to feel comfortable and - when appropriate - sexy in her own choice of clothing. Even wehre I work, some of the other women wear skirts more often than trousers and some wear trousers more often than skirts/dresses does that make one group more feminine/sexy than the other? Definitely not! Some prefer heels and some flats, does that make one better than the other? Definitely not!

I have become acquainted with an Italian girl who is manager of a restaurant near where I live. She is naturally stylish and elegant regardless of what she wears.

EDIT: I must apologise to both Elizabeth and Wsprs for wrongly attributing the third quote in this article. I have now corrected the attribution.

[Jessica Britton]

Being as I've always loved to wear men's baggy sweaters in the winter, and often buy men's jeans b/c they are more comforable....does that make me a CD? If so I don't think it has the same impact for me that it does for MTF CD's. I get no sexual arousal from it and it's all for the purposes of comfort only.

Also, is it typical for the CD to want a woman to dress in skirts and heels most of the time or are you okay with your GG dressing the way she is most comfortable if it is not in skirts/heels?

Well, by a strictly technical definition, yes, you're CDing by wearing clothes specifically made for the "opposite sex". The funny thing is, most folks wouldn't see it that way, but they would if you were male and wearing baggy female sweaters. Kind of shows the double standard in our society. (And years ago, laws against CDing were used against women, when they started wearing pants, even if the pants were designed for women.)

I say wear what feels comfortable and right for you. I used to by all my tennis shoes in the women's dept. because they fit better!

[Lorileah]

I just wear what I want to wear b/c it's a comfort thing for me. Of course I was taught that anything a woman wears pertaining to a man is wrong and vice versa. That's okay, I'll take my chances and be comfy in what I like to wear.

well there you go. If you want a label then you can cling to "I am a crossdresser" but really you aren't You are just being comfortable. These labels seem to get all distorted with trying to get a concrete meaning.

I don't know where you are but the "pertaining" to a man is at best nebulous. Most types of male clothing are worn by females in Western society without repercussions. It is considered stylish. In my opinion the negative feelings of MtF crossdresser is more a misrepresented idea of sexuality. Women who wear men's jeans (i e you) don't do it to appear masculine usually. No one questions your sexual preferences because you wear "male" clothing. So the whole sexuality part odf dressing isn't usually part of FtM dressing except where transsexuals OR masculine lesbians are concerned.

Having said that it is my thought that MOST the CD's here are not sexually driven to dress either. But the stereotype persists on that for some reason. I would venture the majority of males here who dress in "women's" clothing (we will go with clothing that is marketed to women for this conversation) don't do it for stimulation. We do it because we like how it fits or looks. When people realize that we can forego the whole pervert preconception on this and maybe get on with importanat things in the world.

[Juliemckay]

Why are there "womans" clothes and clothes for everyone? It's only fabric... only one is silkier thean the other

[Lorileah]

Why are there "womans" clothes and clothes for everyone? It's only fabric... only one is silkier thean the other

Marketing?

[Juliemckay]

Marketing?

Then someone needs to start a new marketing campaign...

[t-girlxsophie]

My Wife could wear a bin bag and Ill still desire her,I love her Ass in Jeans,but equally I love when she gets dolled up to go out,My Crossdressing has no bearing on It

Sophie

[AmandaM]

Since I don't get sexual arousal from dressing as a woman does that mean I'm not a crossdresser. If so what forum should I be posting in? If I'm not a CD then what am I?

Helps if you read the whole sentence.

[melissacd]

You should wear whatever makes you feel good. If you like men's sweaters then wear them, if you do not like wearing skirts and heels then don't. You should dress to please and suit yourself. What others think is irrelevant.

[WsprsOnTheWind]

agreed

[Juliemckay]

agreed

I have to disagree with you. Stay away from capris. The make your butt look bigger, your legs shorter, and make your feet look bigger. But, that is just my opinion

[sandra-leigh]

You should dress to please and suit yourself. What others think is irrelevant.

In a relationship, what the other person thinks is relevant -- but should not necessarily outweigh everything else.

[Amy Lynn3]

To add on to my preferences.

I like the feel of corsets. I love how heels feel. I love the caress of a good fitting pair of pantyhose. If you don't, I am fine with that. Just please do not put me down, or limit me based on what YOU feel uncomfortable.

I think that is all I ask for.

I would like my female friends to wear skirts or leggings. Heck I would like them to wear the more fem version of my androg look. But I am not going to "expect" it, like how people "expect" me to be in slacks or jeans with no other viable choice.

I agree with these statements. I like to wear female cloths. I wear them for the same reason the poster does male cloths. I like the fit, styles, colors, etc just like the poster. Between us, what differs is the poster can wear whatever she likes (for whatever reason) anyplace she likes and I must hide behind closed doors to wear what I like, or go to work in a skirt and my male boots and shirt. Don't think that would fly, but if the poster showed up at the office in my work pants...what would happen? Nothing.

Yes, I like to see women dressed in the traditional skirts and top, but I get just as turned on by them if they wear jeans. Women are hot, no matter what they wear in my mind.

[mklinden2010]

and zags...

[SamanthaS]

If you were my GG you could wear whatever you wanted

[Andrea's Lynne]

Wear what makes you comfortable and happy! And I'll do the same I love my lady in sweats and I love her in skirt, hose, and heels .... especially since I know how much "work" getting dolled up can be

[Amy Lynn3]

I think you're overstating women's ability to wear whatever they want, particularly at work.

For example, female engineers I know HAVE to wear the same boots, jeans, shirts, and hard hat as the males at their jobs - even when they know they'll not be in the field for weeks at a time.

Let me tell you, their "attractiveness" quotient goes way down and it bums them out:

"After a while, it gets to you. Men are so visual, which is OK, but there's no way to present yourself to someone you're interested in that's any different from what everyone else is wearing."

Worse, when there is a holiday party or something, everyone "freaks out" when they see each other in something besides work clothes. Everybody looks different and it's difficult to settle back down to work for about two weeks:

"Damn Christmas and New Year's - shocks to the system!"

It was a surprising battle, thirty and forty years ago, when women started arguing they should be able to wear pants, anywhere, anytime. There were a lot of objections to that and much of it not very nice. But, nowadays no one thinks much about it. The "invention of the pant-suit" probably did enough to mollify most the objections.

"OK, that's not really menswear... Fine."

But, the battle is still on. When I encounter some GG who uses makeup to "fake" beards, wears "rough and ready" mens clothes, stuffs their pants to make "the bulge," who talk low "like a man," and cusses, I am still taken aback and HOPING that they are a competent person in their work and are able to relate pleasantly with others. If they're not able to do either, then we have a problem that has nothing to do with clothes or gender.

I hate it when that happens...

And, they're not all hot to me. I love grandma, but she's long past being "hot."

As she'd tell you herself:

"Hot? I've been hot and that was nice. But, nowadays I'd just be happy to have warm feet."

On the other hand, of course, are the women required to wear hose, heals, business suits, or whatever at work. That gets tiresome as well. It's expensive, it can be very uncomfortable, and you can get a lot of unwanted attention from, er, "admirers."

"Sometimes, clothes just mess everything up. It's not all Disneyland, everyday. Anybody who thinks hose and dresses should be the uniform for everybody just isn't paying attention to what goes on on oil rigs, how many groceries have to be lugged inside from the car each week, that kids climb like monkeys, or, that it's friggin' raining all the time in Seattle."

I don't think I overstated anything, my intent was to simplify my example of wearing cloths so all could understand the contrast between the two sexes. It's evident all did not understand my meaning and I will refrain from posting such unclear comments. Thank you for clearing up my meaning. You are a dear.

[Frédérique]

Being as I've always loved to wear men's baggy sweaters in the winter, and often buy men's jeans b/c they are more comforable....does that make me a CD? If so I don't think it has the same impact for me that it does for MTF CD's. I get no sexual arousal from it and it's all for the purposes of comfort only.
Also, is it typical for the CD to want a woman to dress in skirts and heels most of the time or are you okay with your GG dressing the way she is most comfortable if it is not in skirts/heels?

[SIZE="2"]You’re a crossdresser if you wish to be one – I’m assuming you’re a GG? Perhaps you can get sexual arousal from not getting any sexual arousal, helped along by your newly acquired DRAB garments. It’s possible. I hope that makes sense to you. My point is that any sexual arousal you may seek (or expect) comes from slipping out of your gender, or a tactile feeling that the clothes exhibit, or a pre-determined state of mind that is attached to certain things you may desire to wear, if this is your goal. Sexual arousal is often part of a definition about crossdressing, being attached to this largely inexplicable activity so as to explain it better to uninformed types, i.e. outsiders. Many MtF crossdressers do not dress for sexual arousal, including me; in fact it has quite the opposite effect. Do you find this hard to understand?

I really don’t care how a GG chooses to dress, as long as she is comfortable. It’s rare to see a dress or a skirt being worn these days, but the sight is always welcome (to me). In fact, regardless of gender, an attempt to “make an effort,” and dress-up a little, is always appreciated. I’m not a big fan of heels, BTW… [/SIZE]

[WsprsOnTheWind]

Frederique, I find it all hard to understand.

[sissystephanie]

I have said this many times before, but here it comes again! If you are a man and wear womens clothes you are a crossdresser. Likewise, if you are a woman and wear mens clothes you also are a crossdresser! Sexual arousal has nothing to do with whether or not you are a crossdresser. It is very plain and easy to understand!! What you do while wearing the clothes is a whole other story!

My late wife wore what she liked to wear........period. It always was her choice. She was such a lady that she looked good no matter what she had on. I try to dress the same way, but certainly cannot do it like she did. I do wear skirts a lot more then dresses. just because I like them!!

[WsprsOnTheWind]

Stephanie, I agree that we should wear what we feel most comfortable in. As you spoke of your wife, I always look very neat and feminine no matter what I wear. I have heard all my adult life that I dress like a school teacher. There is no way that I could NOT look feminine....I'm a woman and with my build and bone structure, I doubt I could ever pass as a man. I think it's much easier for some men (depending on their build) to look like a woman than a woman to look like a man. Again, JMO.