Should I say something

[Katiegirl]

I have a problem and I would like your thoughts.

I live alone and regularly "dress" and I think I have been careless.

I invited a close GG friend back last night to have coffee after a meal. Now we do this frequently and all seemed fine when I took her home. We had both been invited to a barbecue today, so I picked her up and took her, however there was something different in her manner towards me during the drive which I could not understand. Now we had a good time at the barbecue and on the surface all seemed well, but over the years, I have been super sensitive to other peoples moods with a high degree of accuracy, and I kept getting a sense she was upset.

When I got home I was trying to think what I had done to upset her then while drinking coffee I saw the bottle of clear nail vanish I use on the side board in full view. I am certain she must have seen it.

Now what do I do, we are good friends and I enjoy her company, but to make things more difficult, is that we are going on holiday to South Africa for 3 weeks in November.

Now do I say nothing and see if she says something or do I say something.



Mind of a Woman, Body of a Man, life is a Bitch

[Wendy me]

prehaps rather than outting yourselfe i would say it seams something is wrong or that something is upsetting you ...i could be wrong but if something is wrong i would hope that you would tell me .....and see what she says...........

[Kelly_TGirl]

All you do is put it on infront of her, saying youve got crap nails. UNLESS you want to come clean about being a CD or TV. Maybe she didnt see it? I have worn clear nail varnish and it makes the nails look great. I dont see it as a big problem, men use moisturisers etc just wing it. Depending on if you want her to know or not you have 2 options. I wouldnt worry too much though.

[JocelynG]

She might think it belongs to another woman, which it does , that you are seeing and not telling her about. I would,like Wendy, ask her if something is the matter. I wish you the best. I would hate for you to loose a friend over nail polish

[Trinity_cat]

Good answer Wendy, my thoughts exactly.

You should try this route before anything else.

Good luck.

[Daphne Renee]

Yeah just ask her whats wrong.. I wouldnt think that clear nail poilish would be enough that upsetting. My wife insisted that I get a manicure before our wedding.. they used a base coat I think on my nails.. (its baiscly the same as clear polish) .. It may also be possible that she isnt upset about anything you said or did at all..

[Katiegirl]

Thanks for your thoughts

I will see how she is when I next see her, and if she is still upset I will ask what the matter is.



Mind of a woman, Body of a Man, Life is a Bitch

[Julie York]

You mean the clear nail varnish you used to mend a split toe nail? Or restore an old cracked piece of china?

Doesn't ring true.

If she was upset it wasn't that.

Ask her.

[Phoebe Reece]

The problem with asking a GG what's wrong (when something is obviously wrong) is that their standard reply is a cold "Nothing". It will take some patience to get to the bottom of what's bothering her. Be prepared to out your crossdressing if necessary. Better for her to find out you are a CD than to think you are seeing another woman on the side.

[Sigrid]

I agree with Wendy. Just ask her if anything's bothering her. It very well may be something completely unrelated to anything you did.

[Jodi]

Katie, The nail polish is no big deal. I have worn clear polish on my nails for years. I get a professional manicure done every two weeks. After the manicure, I apply a coat of clear polish every other day.

Prior to getting the professional manicures and using a clear coat, I lived with splitting nails and bleeding cuticles. It was my hair stylist who recommended that I begin the manicures to take care of my hands and nails. It has worked fantastically. Am I asked about the polish on my nails? The answer is Yes. I tell people that I get a professional manicure and what wonders it has made for the health of my hands. I tell them that if manicures are good enough for Wall Street bankers and Park Ave Lawyers, it is good enough for me. End of discussion for them.

Jodi

[Sigrid]

If you're looking for a reason for having clear nail polish in the house, consider this... A dab of clear nail polish on the thead holding the buttons on your shirts will keep them from unraveling. (I probably got this from Heloise)

[cd_isabelle]

hi all,

i would definately say to follow the advice given above.

i sincerly doubt that your friend is willing to give up or complicate a friendship simply over some nail polish, and if that is the case, well then she has other issues.

sometimes people can just be quiet, usually due to other issues in their life so just be rather subtle and understanding in asking her if there is anything the matter and that she would be comfortable discussing with you.

hope it works out well.

cd_isabelle

[paulacd]

If this friend is as close to you as you say, then it'll take more than a bottle of nail polish to cause any damage between you, whatever the reason you give.

Talk to her first and find out the problem (I'm inclined to agree with the above that it's actually nothing to do with the polish). Then if the moment seems right, it might be good time to tell her the truth anyway. It will be huge weight lifted from your shoulders so you can relax and not have to run around the house every time she comes round, searching for any 'incriminating evidence'. You never know - she may already suspect and when you tell her the truth, it will just show how much you respect & trust her.

Giving advice in a forum is difficult as it's impossible to know the exact circumstances you are in, but I hope it all works for the best, whatever you decide.

Paula.

[kathy gg]

HI Katie,

I think you and most every cd have this fear of all these tell-tale signs giving you away. What I think most guys tend to forget is just the concept of crossdressing, it's meaning and it's implicatins are just not something most women who are not 'in the know' ever consider, think about, or maybe even know exsists. Bottles of nail polish, a shaved leg, nicely trimmed eyebrows to the average person do not mean anything other than possibliy ecenttric. Most people dont' automatically jump to the 'crossdressing' conclusion.

Since you dont' have an SO, maybe you have not talked to enough married cd's and their So's, but most women when they find the odd peice of ladies garmets are thinking 'another women'. They dont' think that it is their guys stuff. Same thing when someone reveals this to a freind, most pople would have never pegged the cd as a cd. It is just not the conclusion people who don't know about this jump to. Because it is not something they give any thought to.

Sicne you know what you know, you think everyone else knows to. And these little fears are yoru first thought.

Your friend might have just had a bad day or maybe she was pmsing. Or something else that had nothing to do with you at all. We all get into moods that are not normal.

I would not think 'oh she thinks I am a cd and is freaked out'. That would literally be the last conclusion I would resort to if I were you.

I hoep you will just let her explain what ever was on her mind in her own time, all the while continuing not to act or treat her different.

yes and if you really do not want her to know, do pick up around yoru home prior to having her over Because eventually if any person sees enough feminine items around she might think you are (if anything) dating someone and not letting he be picy to it.

Hugs
and good luck
kathy in canada

[Katie Ashe]

There is nothing wrong with saying: I notice your uneasy lately, would you like to talk? That way your not accusing, or revealing, but respectfully inquiring as to something. Be honest and open if she desires to answer.

Best of luck

[Lisa Golightly]

Maybe she thinks you've found someone... seems you're close friends. That kind of potential threat will always upset someone.

I'm always am amazed that you kids always assume that when a girl sees an item of female clobber that they assume you're a crossdresser... not true. If you live on your own the assumption will always be you've been doing the naughty.

[Katiegirl]

I had to speak with my GG friend today about the trip to South Africa and she was a lot brighter so I asked if something had upset her yesterday. She just said that there were family problems, I didn't press the matter as I know in the coming week she is going to a big family get together.

I was right she was upset yesterday but it would seem for the wrong reason.

Kathy GG you are right to say she might not have even thought about it being mine. I was outed to all my friends by my Ex many years ago and went through a very bad period in my life and since then I have been over sensitive to being outed again. I think in this case I over reacted

Thank you all for your advise



Mind of a Woman, Body of a Man, Life is a Bitch