S_U_C_C_S_S!!!!!! LOL ah the" Bitch" is about to "rant"....

[Sherry-Stephanie]

It will be 3 years ago that I came up with the "ya know what I'd like to do" question with the "ta do" referening to dressing as a female....

I have a female side lurking around in me since my first bi experience about ah 20 years ago I guess....she's be rattling around inside me since then occassionally coming out with various experiences....but rattling she was....like the "Genie in the bottle" I guess unitl I decided to remove the cork from the bottle and let her out...

LOL since then after not knowing foundation from macara I have:

learned how to dress sizes and styles included...

apply makeup

gone out clubing on a regular basis...

acepted mysefl for who I am and what I am....

realized my desire to work at home....

met some wonderful other girls along the way....

Gone thoguht some very hard times with the wife who said "What the F**K are you gay" when I first suggested I wanted to dress as a female....including seperation...

Started a business selling to other girls and turned it into a successful operation and now bringing on a full like of quality makeup....

Validated my female side as who she is....

Find it as easy and natural to shop for and as Stephanie as I do for my male side....

and Validated my female side by allowing Stephanie to be who she wants to be....

and a few other dozen dressing related successand experiences as well....such as finding I love heels, thongs and looking good....or as good as I can get it to be...we all have our limits now...LOL

Now all of the above are very good points of achievement, but the real SUCCESS of this whole thing is here now in the fact that my wife wants to go out to the clubs with Stephanie....Now you don't know how much that means to being successful as to hen I heard those wordsroll of my wfe's lips....I knew I had reached my level of S-U-C-C-E-S-S!!!!!

So all in all the past three years to say the least have been very interesting....

Stephanie

[ReneeT]

Steph, is she coming tou or GNO in Nashville? I'd love to meet her?

[joyce483]

Thats great!! We got divorced in july and next sunday 28th we are going to the Eagles and Bears game in Chicago, we have been getting along since she left, but this is the first time out together by ourselves...so this is a small step forward!!

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Depends on if she's working or not Renee...

She just started back to work yesterday...been out since Halloweeen weekend with what the Ortho thought was a torn Menicus, but it turned out to be a sprained MCL...

But she wants to go out to the Tribe and/or Lipsticks with me (Steph) and our live in drinkin buddie and Tommi to Lipsticks, Tribes and maybe Bluejeans so nite....probably a Saturday nite though....that will be something....

[Sherry-Stephanie]

LOL....139 views and 2 responses...

I can only think the majirity of those who viewed this so far are a slight miffed that things worked out this way for me...

But at my age and point intime decided to go for it...

My career is pretty much done..age and illness being what they are...

Dealing with two life threatning illnesses which will take out any chance of employment in my previous career age aside....

Goign through all that I've had to deal with the illnesses and the fact I decided to live my life and took control of it and decided to see where I could take it...wanted to stay away from goverment and also the corporate world so I decided to work for me....

I worked with the wife to discuss the issues with our relationship and in time it worked out....althought for awhile there I wasn't sure....but I believed in what I had to do and believed in me....

I knew I could do a business if I put my mind to it and worked harder there than if I worked for someone...but I wanted to work for me....

I wasn't affraid of what others would say or think...after all I've gone up agaisnt the badest of the bed before and won....even murders are more respected than schild molesters....and I did pretty good against them....

In my time I've pissed off a few S. American Drug Cartels as well for several million $$$ in their goodies I took from them and even got me confiscated a 190 ft ship....

I've had contracts put out on me as well....

So dressing???? Not a really big thing when you come down to it....

Sometimes you've just got to step up and go for it....you might be suprised at what you'll fine....

[donnalee]

Sounds more like crowing than a rant,but---CONGRATULATIONS!

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Ah someone who finally appreciates my "dry sense" of humor.....A truly special person...

Sometimes you've got to get past the fear to be able to be free...know what I mean?????

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Bottom line is simply this....to find happiness sometimes you've got to be willing to take the risk and not fear what migth be but enjoy what is....

[SusanCACD]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. Your so right, and so right to crow! If only we could all be so brave!!!
Susan

[Raychel]

I am happy for you that you have found a point in your life where you can be yourself and happy too.

[Sallee]

you go girl. it is just having the balls to do it

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Sallee...Amen sister Amen!!!!!

When I first came here I use to look at Kathi Lake and Tamarev and Karren Hutton and others... and go OMG how do they do it....and get away with....they've got so much co jones to do that....and I just used their experiences to motivate myself....and this is where it has taken me...you just have to have the desire to wantto be true to yourself and an "attitude" to go with it....and this is where it will take you....

I also understand there are those who can't for whatever reason or reasons...family marriage job whatever....and there are those who want to keep one heel in the closet and one heel out...and that's fine...wahtever their "comfort zone" is.....But I decide a while back for whatever reason not only to open the door, but to kick it off the hinges...and take my life into the GLBTG enviroment and away from the main stream society that I was in before...to express to those who I care to express to that I was bi, I dresseed and I am "different"....and if you want to accpet me for the way I am that's fine and if you don't want to acdept me for the way I am that's fine as well...now I have much shorter "Christmas card list" but I also have the freedom to be who I am and what I am...I'll go shopping in drag and ask to try on a pair of girl jeans and I might get a look from the SA but then I'll say there for me...so what??? For me aside from the fact that they fit me me a lot better than guy jeans are more comfortable why shouldn't I be able to buy them to wear them even in guy mode...if I want to try on a dress I see then I'll ask and simple will say...yes it's for me...I'm a dressers....see Hon, I'm one of tnhose people who have a male side and a female side and my female side likes that dress and wants to try it on...and guess what, I have not had any bad experience from SA's or others....so it's for me being free of the frear of what if and by being free of this fear I get to enjoy being who I am and what I am....

I don't know if I have 2 years left to live maybe 4 my 10 ..but I don't this....I probably dont have much more than that...so I've decided I'm going to live whatever time I do have left on this earth and in this life as open as honest and as free to myself as I can...and when you reach that point in your life the honestesty and freedom that is there is amazingly refreshing and vibrant....I've gotten to that point....I'm at the top of the mountain so to speak...no SOB narrow minded person is going to knock me off my perch...

So call it whatever you wish....am I crowing blowing my own whistle or whatever...no, I'm just sharing with you girls....90% of you migth wish you could be here, but can't....but what I'm really doing is speaking to those 10% who want to be where I am am and I'm hopefully reaching out out and saying to them...that 10% and telling them....you can do i it...you can move forward and you can be out and free....just get ready to when you reach that door to kick it open and step out into thiswhole new world...and then they'll get to experience what I'm experiencing now....just like Kathi has Tamarev and just like Karren did before me...and what they did with their sressing encouraged me to do it with mine...now you all can call it whatever you want....

Crow, rant or whatever....ti really doesn't matter....just do it if that's where you want to go!!!!

So for me a big thanks to Kathi, Tami and Karren....they inspired me to go where I am now....

Stephanie

Well we're at 459 views and 11 posts and 6 of those have been me shooting off my mouth on this thread....interesting....so much for engaging conversation....

[joyce483]

I think it helpped you a lot with your previous job and background to kick down doors much easier than the rest of us!! Just because some of us are truck drivers, doesn't mean we are all that macho!! As one of your customers, I for one appreciate meeting you through this site and like you said having Karren and Kathi and others here as a direction to go for gives us hope that we are doing what we really want in our lives.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

First of all Joyce thank you....and I think I recall that you got a great pair of breast forms at a great price right??? better than you'd get anywhere else...

Secondly, yes in my "previous life" as I like to call it has allowed me to develop a rather large set of "balls"....you would have to if your worked in the Greater Miami are during the 80's and 90's....it also has helped in developing a rather "thick skin" to criticism as well....thus my "Bitch with an Attitude" tag...

The experiences that I have experienced over the years be they good or bad have brought me to the point of where I am now...they aren't words of "bravado", but rather simply words that say this is what I have experienced...and my experiences have made me the person that I am today....whether it was looking down the barrel of a 357 Magnun from 3 feet away or seizing 380lbs of cocaine that was just dropped by one of the Columbian Cartels from a ship or arresting a a person who had sex with his 9 year old step-daughter "more times than he could remember"....or having one of your officers die on you....these are the things that have made me who I am good or bad....and this has lead me to the point that walking inot a store to buy a dress in the grand scheme of things, really isn't that big of a deal...what a SA think isn't that intimidating to me...actually I enjoy saying it's for me and then seeing how they react....and guess what...I have yet to have a bad experience....most are "OH OK"...and then are eager to help me....

That said however, it also has allowed me to sit back and reflect and discover who I am and what I want to do with the limited time I know I have left on this earth ....so going forth & being honest with myself is one thing that has proven to be very important to me...and in doing so this is where it has taken me...to a place thatI am comfortable with, at peace with and not ashamed or conflicted...but in harmony and balenaced with....a sense of "karama" that I have two sides to my existences...I have a male side and I have a female side....and I am happy with this male side and female side... comfortable with this and now I am enjoying it....so what's not to be OK with???? Right????

[Starling]

As another satisfied customer, Sherry, I wish you all the greatest. A brush or two with mortality is bound to kick all of us into a higher gear, as I have discovered recently with my own health problems. I don't want to die without really living.

I'm already starting the process, having come out to an old GG friend. She's going to be my first out and about buddy, and I'm really jazzed to get started--after I get a little better with my makeup, with her help. I think I'm a lot more than half female, and what I'd really like is full-time womanhood, but I'd probably lose my wife in that pursuit. I wish that weren't the case, but I understand her lack of enthusiasm.

Nobody really knows what it's like unless they've been there. And now that you've busted out fully I hope you have a bunch of good years to kick up your heels.

Lallie

[Sherry-Stephanie]

LALady....

Thanks...but only God knows what the future holds....and He's not saying....

I have a rare illneness that affects 1 in 3/5 million (depending on what studies your refer to)...lucky me...it's called Chronic Inflammitory Demylating Polyneuropathy...or CIDP....it's the chronic version of Guilliam Barre Syndrome (think Swine Flue back in the 70's) and it's in the MS/ALS/Polio family....it's in remission for now...been so for 12 years....although they tell me my recovery has been just shy of a miracle, the Neuro docs have said it will come back...so yeah, there's a few things I'd like to do before it kicks back in....

I was down and bed ridden and paralyzed for 14 months before they were able to control it....then 4 years to get back to where I am now...during that time it gave me a lot of time to think and ponder...and it's helped me to become what I am good or bad. I refused to quit or give up, but it was a an extremely difficult thing to come back from. I've already have decided that I won't go through it again. If it does or when it does come back then I've already decided that it's time to check out and move on.

I've lived a life that has had many ups and downs....many successes and a few failures along the way....but for sure it hasn't been boring....and we don't last forever anyway....

I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else...that's not my point. But I've succeeded in a lot of areas that most don't. I've also got to do things in my life that 99.9% never get to accomplish or achieve success with.

What I'm doing now is really going to be my "last hurrah"....I'll ride this pony until it's time to get off or until I get kicked of and then I'll move on to the "otherside" and see what awaits me there...hopefully my 5 pups who I've lost will be waiting for me and then being back with them again will be "heaven for me" ....

Don't get me wrong here....I'm enjoying what I'm doing now....but each day I move forward is one day I move closer to having to deal with the CIDP again....so I need to do the most I can in the least time I have left.

That's just the way it is....those are the cards I've been dalt and I'm playing them for now and haven't reached the point that I'm going to fold the hand down....

[minalost]

Go Steph! I long ago put you on my list of girls to look up to!

[Starling]

...I've already have decided that I won't go through it again. If it does or when it does come back then I've already decided that it's time to check out and move on...

My gosh honey, I don't blame you for wanting peace. I just hope, selfishly, that we have you for as long as possible.

Lallie

PS to everyone else: Sherry's forms are a terrific bargain, a real service to the MTF community; and her level of service is unmatched.

[charlie]

Hello Sherry!
It obviously has been quite a ride since the sad but resigned post where you and your wife were splitting up, then sort of together... to this! I guess life does keep us all guessing. I'm so glad that all has worked out well for you....even a business!

[AKAMichelle]

Congratulations on all of your success.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Thanks but it's been one "B-I-T-C-H" of a ride....but definately NOT boring!!!!

During my LEO career I had the opportunity to do a lot of different things and was tested greatly in many ways...that lead me to be able to start his business as well as another i had going even while I got sick running a landscape business...strated with one account and grew it up to over 200 accounts with 12 full time employees but the illnesses got to the point I couldn't tolerate heat...and that's one thing S. Florida has....plus the wife wanted to move back to TN with family to help her care for me....but I alway felt there was "something else" I wanted to do...
I have a very good friend who said I always lived on the "edge"....and I do...that's just me....but I told him while I'm "out there" I like to do back flips jsut to make it interesting....

Anyway, when I do take my final breath here I'll be able to say I've satisfied with what I've done and ready to go over....with no regrets....

Moi

[Kate Simmons]

Sounds like you've found balance and peace Sherry. Good for you. It's more than most have. Can't beat that with a stick my friend.