Single because you crossdress? What do you say to people?

[docrobbysherry]

I'm over 60, and used to dating/marrying women much younger than I. These days, American women, (who still have their looks), seem to date men their age or younger! Unless they're going for $$$

After dating in Cal. for a few years, I thot maybe I could do BETTER finding an attractive, educated, Communist Block woman. Quite an experience! In the end, I found women r probably the SAME the world over!

A year ago, I told ONE PERSON about my dressing! An old, accepting girlfriend. At first, she was encouraging! Making complimentary comments about my pics, etc. Then suddenly, after 6 months, she said she wanted no more of Sherry! She felt Sherry was coming between us! ("Us"?) There hasn't been an "us" in 30 years!

I stopped dating altogether over a year ago. How can I expect to find a female attractive enuff to keep ME interested, yet willing to share me with Sherry? And, how many late 40's and older GGs r there, that can COMPARE favorably with Sherry? I haven't consciously compared Sherry to ANY real females. But I'm pretty sure, any self respecting GG will!

[Donna June]

I'm single and I enjoy my freedom, not only to dress anytime I want but to anything or go anywhere I want. I will say being a crossdresser / transgender has probably kept me single. I never discussed it with them but any woman I dated, I should say the very few I dated, I don't think they would've approved. I do fantasize about being the girl in a relationship with a man and it's something I would consider. Either way I am single and content. Just try to be happy where you are.

[Pythos]

I'm single. I am sure it is partly due to my unconventionalness, which as I was growning up was told is what people were looking for. We encouraged by our music, television shows, and movies to "be ourselves" "don't follow the crowd", "throw out the norm".

What do I see? I see my friends and people my age doing the exact opposite....I have not.

There are days where I think it may have been easier to be "normal". There are days where the thought to throw out all my strange clothing, gain a beer gut, grow a huge beard, and obtain a Harley, and become the "manly man" image that is so pushed on us (well one anyway)

When my now abondoned prospect said she did not like Effeminite men, despite the fact all the other "manly men" in her life raped her and beat her, I really got some self doubt. I started wearing just plain jeans and t shirt....a sure sign I am depressed.

When I did the last set of pics I felt alive. I felt awesome. I felt like me.

I whine about this a lot, but I still don't get why most women are attracted to brutes. Why are women not more open minded? Especially considering the restrictions they fought off years ago.

It is not my fault those stupid rules ever existed, why do I get left to the singleness, while the two timing, wife beating piece of junk on two legs gets dates?

The sexual revolution was one sided, and it didn't go far enough.

Oh, there I go again.

[Joanne f]

No i do not believe cross dressing by it`s self will keep you single as most females and no doubt males can see beyond the cross dressing providing there is something to see beyond it .

[Melinda G]

There are days where I think it may have been easier to be "normal". There are days where the thought to throw out all my strange clothing, gain a beer gut, grow a huge beard, and obtain a Harley, and become the "manly man" image that is so pushed on us (well one anyway)

Eeeeaaaauuuuu. Bite your tongue!

When my now abondoned prospect said she did not like Effeminite men, despite the fact all the other "manly men" in her life raped her and beat her, I really got some self doubt. I started wearing just plain jeans and t shirt....a sure sign I am depressed.

Woman don't know what they want. They are attracted to the "bad boys", get used and abused, and wind up hating all men.

When I did the last set of pics I felt alive. I felt awesome. I felt like me.

That works for me,too.

I whine about this a lot, but I still don't get why most women are attracted to brutes. Why are women not more open minded? Especially considering the restrictions they fought off years ago.

It's got something to do with nature. Lots of male animals fight over the females, and the females wander off with the winner. Watch the nature programs, and you will get a lot of insight into human behavior. In the case of humans, it's either money, or the brute.

It is not my fault those stupid rules ever existed, why do I get left to the singleness, while the two timing, wife beating piece of junk on two legs gets dates?

You can have dates too, if you lower your standards. But you wouldn't want them.

[Janice Lester]

MJ,

I think your right that the labels get in the way, I try to use them as way to help me categorize what I'm thinking but often they just confuse the issue.

By the way is it true, do blonds really have more fun? lol

[Mistybtm]

I am single been married raised as child and now divorced at 48 I am very happy with who I am. I am A sub BI cross dresser who enjoys the best of both worlds. Being single again and live alone I can explore all my feelings. As far as others are concerned I just say been there done that.

[MJ]

MJ,
By the way is it true, do blonds really have more fun? lol

NO we just get dirty quicker

[Janice Lester]

Well MJ, I will certainly keep that in mind should I ever have the good fortune of meeting you.

[MJ]

Well MJ, I will certainly keep that in mind should I ever have the good fortune of meeting you.

You know what they say " careful what you wish for. you just might get it "

i know i know get a room already

[hhdave]

I'm single, but was married once. Ex-wife was OK with my wearing women's shoes, and even encouraged me to explore it. I dated a girl earlier this year who had a strong aversion to it. Tried hard to give them up, thinking that some things are more important than the shoes you wear. We stuck it out a little but she had some major red flags that started popping up. I broke up with her and got an earful from her, including calling me gay, tranny, and a few other unpleasant things. Then the more I thought about it, I know of guys who are married and wear women's shoes. Guess I haven't quite found the line between wearing what I want, trying to be myself, and not scaring off potential women. Being single has its ups and downs, but despite my ex-girlfriend's strong beliefs I really don't think I'm gay.

[Alice Torn]

Excellent thread! Very good sharing and comments. Single for life, here. Starting to accept it. Really like living alone, with cats. From extremely dysfunctional family, never was ready for marriage, but did date quite a bit in my 30's, and 40's. Never had it together enough to provide housing for a mate or family. Was rejected by scores of 'gg's, but some really liked me as a friend. I am sure some folks suspect i am gay, or something strange. I truly loved certain ladies and wanted marriage. The painful part, is always being the "loner", at restaurants, stores, and anywhere else. It is a couples world. I am coming to not care much anymore. I have always been a misfit son of a misfit dad, but i would never tell him about Louise!!! Pythos, so true about the sexual revolution. I see there have been three sexual revolutions. But, cders are the last to be accepted. GG's are beautiful, but they are not considered strange wearing men clothes, but a man who cd's, is still considered bizarre.

[PrettyFlowingGown]

i'm single, but i have 2 very lovely girlfreinds (non sexual) that love me in other ways, in which i prefer. freindship, respect and warmth is the most important in my life at the moment...

[Kate Simmons]

Not much. None of their business really.

[Charise52]

I am single now, and I am concerned that when I meet someone new, i will wonder how she will react when she finds out... my last three girl friends all knew and approved and one even was initially attracted to me because of it. One ex girl friend is one of my best friends today, one was a little weird, and one had an affair... so now I will have to tell a new person, and that scares me more than a little...

[Jorja]

I was married twice. Once when I turned 18 to a lovely girl. I was still trying to prove to myself I was a man. That just didn't work out. The second time was after all the drama of transition and SRS had settled. It was an awesome experience and if he came along a again I would marry him in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, he passed away a couple of years ago. Would I ever get married again? Maybe but he is going to be a hard act to follow.

[sarahNZ]

the older I get the less I care. Though it could be awkward. I find some people can be seemingly understanding then shy away.

I find the same and have come to realise that the answer is blindingly obvious (well it is to me anyway) as you have said the older ... etc etc ... so get on with it! some will shy away but others will not! At the very least you will know who you can count on!

The up side is that if you are honest with your potential mates then you can see if they can accept you for who you are, and there are more than enough people out there to find the right one for you. Good luck

[Frédérique]

A year ago, I told ONE PERSON about my dressing! An old, accepting girlfriend. At first, she was encouraging! Making complimentary comments about my pics, etc. Then suddenly, after 6 months, she said she wanted no more of Sherry!

[SIZE="2"]Yeah, the same thing happened to me – my crossdressing ruined a relationship, or did it save me? Sitting here now, after many years of solitary freedom (dressed!), I’m VERY glad to be single...[/SIZE]

When my now abondoned prospect said she did not like Effeminate men, despite the fact all the other "manly men" in her life raped her and beat her, I really got some self doubt. I started wearing just plain jeans and t shirt....a sure sign I am depressed.

[SIZE="2"]Yes, effeminate is a defining word that carries a lot of baggage with it – I think effeminacy scares some people, but it describes what we do very accurately, and there are different levels of effeminacy, of course. I got the exact same type of reaction (or confusion) from my ex. She would talk at length about how much she hated certain male characteristics, then look at me and say, “But not YOU...” We were in love, but it didn’t work out. I get the feeling certain women desire a masculine presence in their lives, come what may. I would have to step out of myself and be miserable and depressed (like you) to do that, so I think it’s not a good thing, especially if you’re more effeminate and comfortable being so...[/SIZE]

Single for life, here. Starting to accept it. Really like living alone, with cats. I am sure some folks suspect i am gay, or something strange. I truly loved certain ladies and wanted marriage. The painful part, is always being the "loner", at restaurants, stores, and anywhere else. It is a couples world. I am coming to not care much anymore.

[SIZE="2"]I live with my sister, with cats, but it’s like living alone – we live on separate floors in the same house and give each other plenty of room. I lived alone for many years, and I must admit I like having someone to talk to who is on the same wavelength as me. I went through a period when I desired a married, "normal" existence, but I’m glad it didn’t work out. It helps to enjoy being alone, and I revel in floating around, just observing everything and everyone. I think when you’re part of a couple you’re only half of yourself at best – why not be WHOLE and be happy?
[/SIZE]

[Mister Ed]

Forgive the large and numerous quotes but so many people have said things that combined I feel makes up my reasons for being single still at nearly 30.

For the most part I am single because I am so...well, different. Yes, my crossdressing plays a part in that, but it is much deeper than that. I have never been much of a dater or anything, but with the few relationships I have had there has never been a real connection. The women only knew a small part of me and, truthfully or not, I felt that if they were ever to know the 'true' me they would bolt...

Makaila's thoughts mirror my own closely. When I was young I made an effort to drive girls away from me for a few reasons. Plus being quite a chubby kid meant it didn't take much effort. Since then I've never dated much because I'm concerned about their reaction to my crossdressing and wasting effort on a dead end relationship in general.

Crossdressing is usually the straw that breaks the camel's back. I try to feel out the person...
...Any negative feedback about guys in dresses usually signals me to look elsewhere.

As above, Somtimes_Miss' actions are similar to my own plan when dealing with the situation.

I'm single because I'm busy, proud, and sometimes weird...

I've moved around allot in the last few years myself and currently barely have a social circle beyond work colleagues (some of whom I can't stand anyway). It's something I have to deal with but first I want to work on my health and fitness. Once that's done, I'm going to work on my face, skin and body hair. I want to reach a point where it benefits my crossdressing. I'm not looking to pass (I'm not sure if I would) but I'm sick of being itchy for days after shaving for the day I'm smooth and the fun I have dressed.

And sometimes...I'm weird too

[t-girlxsophie]

After my first marriage ended with crossdressing being a major part of it,I was in that where do I go from here relationship wise stage,even though I was relatively young (mid 30s) I think On the whole I would have been content to live life from that moment on alone,I sorta dated one girl but wouldnt have told her about Sophie,also experienced the other side much more having relationships with Men,fellow CDers and yeah I enjoyed that side being explored and I (thought) hey am a happy chappie can come and go as I please,noone to answer to but when I look back now it was a lonely life to live,but I think I would have lived that life.

If this interesting thread has shown one thing its that we all want different things relationship wise and settle with what,to us seems to make us content.As it turned out I did find my contentment with my Wife who embraced Sophie ,but who also likes the whole package I met her online,not looking but finding my soulmate (sorry for the cliche,but its true),unlike some others have said,I DO like being half of the whole,to me It makes me more rounded individually but also better as a partner.

It all comes down to the Individual ultimately,do what makes you happy that way you can look back on your life with no regrets

Sophie

[JustineFallow]

Since acceptance, at absolute minimum, of my CD'ing is a litmus test for compatibility with a woman, I make it a policy to tell her as soon as we get serious, if not before. Being something of a solitary sort, the topic hasn't come up very often with prospective partners.

[Kristi Moore]

Thank you Janice this is me to T! No pun intended. I like you only enjoyed being dressed with men sexually but I struggle with enjoying being the male role with woman. I would love to chat xxoo Krist

I'm single because I've decided to find out how far I want to go. I've been in relationships pretty much since my teens and several have been with GG's that were accepting and wanted to participate but I found that unsatisfying. I don't enjoy cross dressing around a woman with whom I'm intimate, it just feels really weird to me.

I do however enjoy it when I'm with a man I'm intimate with. But that leaves me with the problem of not being all that attracted to men when I'm not dressed.

I don't think of my self as Gay, because I really, really like GG's. However sometimes I think the only practical solution will be to give up the Bi label and fall for another Transvestite, because I do find Transvestites attractive when I'm not dressed but also when I am.

If you remember the documentary "Paris is burning" one of the things that really struck me was when they were doing what I remember as "businessman drag". That hit me because as a man I love to wear a well cut suit, it makes me feel remarkably masculine.

This mixture of feelings complicate my life but I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Magickman]

Single because I crossdress? No. Maybe I crossdress because I am single.

I am persistently and permanently single. A natural born bachelor. Born without any desire for marriage. That is just as well, since I don't think I have any talent for marriage.

Out in the world, I have more interactions with women when I am dressed up. Women ignore me, when I am in normal male clothes.

If anyone were to ask why i am still single, my answer would be, "Just lucky, I guess." But no one asks.

The physical presence of a woman is something I miss. Yet, i survive.

[AriannaH]

Single because I crossdress? No. Maybe I crossdress because I am single.

I am persistently and permanently single. A natural born bachelor. Born without any desire for marriage. That is just as well, since I don't think I have any talent for marriage.

This pretty much sums me up, too.

I'd like to find a gf but hasn't happened yet. Somewhat gave up on trying ot find one.

[NicoleScott]

NO we just get dirty quicker

Define "dirty"