I was at college, and a girl I barely know (I know her on a name basis) comes up to me, grabs my breasts (Is it appropriate to call them that? I wasn't dressed at the time. at all.), and says, "Wow, that's a full, firm B-cup if I ever felt one! I'm jealous!" I was flattered (secretly), but outwardly, I just shrugged it off. She was being playful, but I'm wondering if it's becoming a good time to go bra-shopping. Plus, my "breasts" seem to be getting bigger every month. It's kind of weird.
"Move along people, there's nothing to see here."
Well, sounds like a good time was had by all!
Seriously, enjoy them! I don't have enough spare fat or flesh to make nipples - much less breasts.
Kathi
I think I might get slammed for this, but doesen't that count as sexual assault ?
yes Kelly, that is sexual assault. it makes no difference whether it is a male doing it or a female. assault is assault sexual or otherwise.
Danni
Not if the "Victim" is unwilling to press charges/ report the "assault". Seriously, I was more flattered than anything. I had to restrain myself from asking her what size and color bra she thinks I should wear.Originally Posted by Kelly DeWinter
"Move along people, there's nothing to see here."
I think Danni and I are in agreement, Grabbing anyone in that fashion would be sexual assault. Think of how a GG here would feel reading this thread. And as an FYI in the US if you can still be charged with 'assault' even if the "Victim' is unwilliing to press charges/report. All it takes is video evidence (cameras at college) or 1 witness who reports it as an assult.
Except that I'm not willing to press charges, therefore making your point moot.
"Move along people, there's nothing to see here."
OK, you 'win' , happy ?
P.S. You might want to read the whole reply next time. If the assult was observed it could still be reported withot the 'Victim'
Last edited by Kelly DeWinter; 11-26-2010 at 02:05 AM.
Tara,
I know it can be exciting for something like that to happen.
but are you CRAZY. What if that had been a guy doing that to you. Or if you saw that happening to someone else. How would you have reacted then?
GG's don't do that to other GG's and they shouldn't do that to you. It doesn't matter whether you are in drab or enfemme. Your body belongs to you.
thats my two cents worth and opinion
Danni
Oh no! A guy doing that to me?
Welcome to a part of my high school experience. After a while, It just becomes good natured teasing. Also, If you can't stand to laugh at yourself, but instead get emotionally crippled over every little thing, you really can't call yourself mature, can you?
"Move along people, there's nothing to see here."
Tara
There is nothing mature about assult. Thats part of your soon to be adult experience.
There is nothing good natured about assult.
Dani, I'm not sure Tara is even willing to try to understand whats being said. I'm sure another 'smart' high school response is forthcomming.
Last edited by Kelly DeWinter; 11-26-2010 at 02:20 AM.
Actually Tara, it is you that is imature.
This was not good natured ribbing, or joking. She insulted you. First by insinuating you are either fat, or have breasts, and second by grabbing you without your prior consent.
But you are unwilling to defend your self, so the point is, as they say moot.
Guys will let women assault them, but if a woman is assaulted LOOK OUT for the guy, cause he will have hell to pay.
Ah double standards, are they not grand?
Immaturity be darned. I was complimented, and she didn't even know it!
Also, Double standards are something that will always be around.
"Move along people, there's nothing to see here."
Tara,
Teasing is assault when it is done in that type of manner. And unfortunately maturity has nothing to do with it. I am a mature woman confident in myself. It has taken me a lifetime (63 years) to get here. I'm sorry that you endured teasing and bullying through high school. You don't have to accept it now.
Danni
Double standards on exist while people are willing to accept or submit to them, such as your experience.
Let me tell you a story ...
One day I was driving along the road when I saw a very young boy riding his bike on the sidewalk, without a helmet.
As I approached him, he fell off the bike.
From the way he fell, I realised he was badly injured.
I stopped a short distance down the road and returned to give him first aid (I am qualified).
Once the ambulance arrived to take over, I became conscious of a man in the crowd which had gathered, who wanted to bash me, because he assumed (incorrectly) that I had hit the young cyclist with my car.
Fortunately for me, someone else in the crowd had also witnessed the accident and was able to set him straight.
He calmed down and I was saved!
Get the point?
Butt out if you were not there to witness the events!
I'm with you, Tara.
Whats the point ?
The way he described the inccident it sound like assult, or would a croth grab be assult, or would that be considered a compliment too ?
Do I have to? Of course not.
Do I think she's some kind of Sexual Deviant for grabbing a spare bit of flesh on my chest? Also a no.
Am I going to report her for aforementioned act? No.
Does that make me immature? No.
Am I flipping out about it? No.
If a guy did it, would I flip out then? You assume I would, but the answer is still no.
Did she do it to be mean? No.
Did she insult me? If she was trying, she wasn't trying hard enough, as the answer is no.
Is it assault? Yes.
Was it done in front of a bunch of level-headed, good-humored college students ranging in their early to mid 20s? yes.
Were they going to report it or flip out about it? Absolutely not.
And why should they have? Obviously they saw it the way that I did- as good-natured ribbing (or rubbing, however you want to look at it), with no intent other than mutual laughter and a potentially awkward situation between two people on first name basis. For cripe's sake, the girl comes up to me and hugs me on a near daily basis. Was it inappropriate? Yes, but I don't care.
Does that answer your quandary with my situation?
"Move along people, there's nothing to see here."
Tara,
The way you described it in the OP and now makes a difference in how you responded to it and the manner in which it can be percieved by another.
our point was that the inappropiate grabbing of your breasts was assault on her part. Your response to her at the time was appropiate for you then, that can and will probably change with time.
Danni
It's getting a bit confusing, You said the assult occured on college campus, and that it is part of your 'high school experience' in front of a bunch of mids 20's students ?
If you are a highschool student under 18 being assulted at a college, it should be reported ? Do you need assistance filing a police report ?
I would have thought that Tara, having stated several times that she DID NOT feel sexually violated by the actions of this GG, had made it abundantly clear that you, Kelly, have no right to make a moral judgment, because you were not a witness to the events.
You may be well-meaning, but if you were to lay a formal complaint of sexual harrassment in this case, you would NOT be doing either Tara or the GG or the rest of society any favours.
You would only be pandering to your own pc attitudes.
IMHO.
The statistics from victims advocacy groups would astound you with how many 'victims' fail to report assult cases, and eventualy need counseling because of suppressed feelings, or the rise in the number of Female on Male assult cases. Or the number of times, victims, write about their assults via 'transferrance' experiences. Young victims have been known to tell friends of their experiences and shrug it off as 'teasing'. Assult is a serious matter, and yes I do understand what Tara is saying, I'm trying to get Tara to understand that in the situation as she described it, it could be read as ASSULT.
It has nothing to do with being PC correct.
It's not surprising America has the reputation of creating the 'suing culture' with over sensitive attitudes like that! If Tara wasn't offended then it wasn't assault. I would say she is actually very mature as saw the 'incident' as what it truly was & didn't jump on her high horse.
I am a college student. I was referring to a similar experience in high school.
All throughout high school (mid-2000s), it was fairly commonplace.
"Move along people, there's nothing to see here."
OK, Tara you 'win' again, we won't consider grabing somone by the breasts assult, we will pander to the un'sensitive' attitudes, so that all kids can enjoy all of the joys of these incidents as part of the 'high school experience'. Whats a few suicides because it's part of our experience. One that cannot be changed. It was only a short time ago, that we allowed grab assing in college hazing and gauntlets as part of military hazing. After all these 'only resulted in a few deaths a year, so we should bring then back right ? Heck since she was being playful, why not return the favor next time you see her ? Oh wait a moment, double standars, you can't do it because it would be assult right ? Even if you do it playfully.
Last edited by Kelly DeWinter; 11-26-2010 at 03:18 AM.
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