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Thread: Have you ever gone to a job interview in boy mode with nails/heels

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  1. #1
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    Have you ever gone to a job interview in boy mode with nails/heels

    Yesterday, I was reading a post about companies who are LGBT friendly, and it got me thinking. Have any of you girls gone to a job interview in boy mode with nails (painted/french manicure..etc) and high heels? If so, how did it go? I so just want to move out of state and start from scratch.

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  2. #2
    Crazy Lady
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    There is LGBT friendly and there is LGBT friendly. And for big companies, it can vary by site/work location. And a 100% rating from HRC doesn't mean much. At the company I work for, (100% HRC rating) transgender employees are not allowed much leeway for gender bending. You must exhibit all the time as either one gender or the other gender. I have taken it to the max where I work. I present every day as a guy with boobs and long hair. Wearing a skirt is unacceptable.

    How do I know I have reached the limit? Two meetings with HR and one with Security. It seems you must present as male or female, are not allowed to switch back and forth, must follow standard rules when transitioning, and after transitioning, you must coordinate all activities with HR where you would be coming in contact with employess that do not know about your transition "for your own safety" as HR says.

    At the HR meetings I have been asked when I plan to transition, which I do not plan to do, I am a gender bender, not planning on any SRS. Company actions lead me to believe I will be terminated if I present as my prefered gender expression.

    Deanna

  3. #3
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Never. But especially in this economy. Even with a "friendly" company... I think I'd dress how they want me to dress rather than how I wanted to dress.. Rather be able to live comfortably and afford to by pretty things than starve to death in an old dress and heels.. Lol.
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  4. #4
    Aspiring Member msniki48's Avatar
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    Well put Karren! not only do we have to pick our battles, we have to time them also....and i would definately not play games in this economy.

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  5. #5
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    The scenario presented sounds like the stuff of fantasy rather than the action of anyone who would be serious about acquiring a new job. I can't think of anything good that could come of it.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  6. #6
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    I agree that in these economic times, it is not such a good idea to present yourself as you have described. I think that it messes with other people's minds. Keep in mind that when you get an interview, the person who you talk to "wants to hire you" and during the time you are with them they have a checklist either mental or on the clipboard that the do the "Ben Franklin". When one or several checks go on the negative side, the interviewer keeps looking.

    I think that in LGBT, the 'L' is okay, the 'G' is okay, the 'B' is okay, and if you are a 'T' (transsexual or transitioning one way or the other) that is okay; but I think that when the interviewer gets an idea that you are dressing up "like on Halloween" everyday in the workplace, that it becomes a hugh checkmark on the wrong side of the ledger.

    I think that if you dress 24/7 and present as female, no matter where you are in the LGBT spectrum, the company will accept you as female. They don't need to know whether you are surgically altered; I don't think they ask prospective female employees if their boobs are real or if they have had a hysterectomy.

    It would be interesting if any of the girls who interview dressed, at the end of the interview, looked directly in the interviewer's eyes and asked point blank if the way they presented themselves at that time or in the future would affect they way that they could perform the necessary functions of the position.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
    Never. But especially in this economy. Even with a "friendly" company... I think I'd dress how they want me to dress rather than how I wanted to dress.. Rather be able to live comfortably and afford to by pretty things than starve to death in an old dress and heels.. Lol.
    I agree, so if you want to dress for an interview it should beat a placethat would actualy encourage you to crossdress. Maybe a makeup store, some salons... But be sure about it so you don't ruin a good opportunity to find work. A workday is often just 8 hours, so making some $$ so you can , as Karren put it, buy nice clothes to wear for the remaining 16 may be a better route. Now have you considered womens apparel retail? Most have great employee discounts!

  8. #8
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    Brandy, I don't think your hypocritical. I think your dead on. People today think you can show up at a job interview dressed anyway they want and expect a company to hire them just on there skills. unfortunatly that's not so. When you walk in the door the first thing your judged by is you apperence. That first impression can determine weather the interviewer likes you or not, or consider you for the position. No matter what it is. Then even if you have the qualifications your then considered on how you will fit in with the rest of the staff. If they consider you a problem, I don't care what your cradentials are, your not going to get the job. Also remember, most people are employees at will.

  9. #9
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    I was in a training seminar years ago for my then employer, which was being put on by the HR department. They were talking about discrimination in the work place. One of the scenarios they described was a job interview, where the candidate was male, and dressed as such in every way except he had ankle socks on with little fuzzy balls at the back of them. You've seen the type. He was perfect for the job in every respect; well qualified, lots of experience, solid track record with prior employers, and he meshed very well with the people he interviewed with. But, a number of people who interviewed him raised concern about the socks. The HR person giving us the training told us it was a real scenario; she'd been one of the interviewers. They hired him, but it took time for them to get to the decision because of the socks. He ended up working out very well for the company.

    The basic point here is of course you can go to an interview dressed however you want. But, you can not control how the company will respond to the way you look, and regardless of how well qualified you are for the position, you might not get hired because of how you present yourself. If I were interviewing for a job I didn't need, I might consider going en femme. But, if I'm interviewing it means I need a job. So, that's not going to happen.

  10. #10
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    I work for a medium-sized UK organisation (nope not saying which one) andI do quite a lot of interviewing. W are genuinely an equal opportunities employer and it would be regarded as shocking of someone was disadvantaged because of the gender of their clothing. A candidate would be expected to be well-dressed, so I believe a man in an elegant skirt, tights and heels would be judged the same way as a woman in an elegenat skirt, tights and heels. If he had boobs, make-up and wig as well he would have to be that bit better at it for the simple reason we want people who are credible and competent and that extends to presentation - it does not mean you have to pass. OK, this hasn't been tested yet, but we have one MTF TS (appointed as M) and no problems. I just know we have a very politically correct attitude. Interestingly, interview panels sem to agree on almost everything so our policies are clrealy well-established.

  11. #11
    A Brave Freestyler JohnH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeeInGeorgia;LGBT2334000
    There is LGBT friendly and there is LGBT friendly. And for big companies, it can vary by site/work location. And a 100% rating from HRC doesn't mean much. At the company I work for, (100% HRC rating) transgender employees are not allowed much leeway for gender bending. You must exhibit all the time as either one gender or the other gender. I have taken it to the max where I work. I present every day as a guy with boobs and long hair. Wearing a skirt is unacceptable.
    (100% HRC rating)
    How do I know I have reached the limit? Two meetings with HR and one with Security. It seems you must present as male or female, are not allowed to switch back and forth, must follow standard rules when transitioning, and after transitioning, you must coordinate all activities with HR where you would be coming in contact with employess that do not know about your transition "for your own safety" as HR says.

    At the HR meetings I have been asked when I plan to transition, which I do not plan to do, I am a gender bender, not planning on any SRS. Company actions lead me to believe I will be terminated if I present as my prefered gender expression.

    Deanna
    Wow. That company is way out of line if they consider themselves LGBT friendly. Obviously 100% HRC rating is just window dressing with this company.

    If you didn't need the job so badly you might be able to sue the company for harassment for the prying questions of "when you plan to transition".

    Are you in general contact with the public with your job? If not, there is no reason for the company to treat you the way they have, unless they are looking for ways to reduce head count.

    I think the best way to get companies to treat their employees better is for the government to pursue policies to create new jobs. Then the employees would not be so much under the thumb of their employers.

    Now we live under an economy that has an unacceptably high unemployment rate - i.e., a depression. You sure do not want to jeopardize your chance of being hired by having painted nails or wearing heels while being in boy mode. Again, if employment was better there would be greater leeway.
    John (Legal name)

    Preferred pronouns: he, his, him

  12. #12
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    Being LGBT friendly or not doesn't mean the doesn't have a dress code. I think that's a mistake some people make today. To me LGBT friendly means, we don't care what you are outside the company but while your at work we expect you to project the image of the company we expect..

  13. #13
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sherib View Post
    Being LGBT friendly or not doesn't mean the doesn't have a dress code. I think that's a mistake some people make today. To me LGBT friendly means, we don't care what you are outside the company but while your at work we expect you to project the image of the company we expect..
    Very good point. I agree

  14. #14
    One Perky Goth Gurl Pythos's Avatar
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    Wow Brandy, how utterly hypocritical of you. You make me look like I am completely open.

    With more people with that kind of attitude men will always be limited in their expression.

    You see, that kind of attitude is not just in the workplace, but also outside. What if one of your customers sees one of your workers away from work wearing the clothing of the opposite gender, mush like how I an Rye of the dead do? What if that customer complained to you about that employee based on what they saw? Would you fire that employee due to the lost business? You lost that business based on the bigotry of your customer, which would be no different than if the employee wore what they liked to work.

    People seem to have forgotten, we spend much of our waking lives at work. We are there, and many usually hate it. Others love it. I for one like my job, I don't love it, there are many other things I would like to do. When we are at those jobs we are most likely wearing something we would much rather not. Thankfully my job is very open in what I wear. Can I wear a skirt? Nope. Unfortunately with attitudes like the one expressed here, will be sure to stop me ever having that choice.

    What image is it they expect? Once will you allow a woman to wear pants (once considered entirely unprofessional for a woman to wear to work), but say to a fellow CD "nope you can't wear that skirt suit, that does look good on you, but you know...the customers.)

    I have been served by people with face jewlery, visible tats, ear grommets on guys (at a bank no less!!). It in no way effects my view on the institution. I personally hate to hear of companies saying no jewlery on men, and no visible tats on any employee. Once again these policies are based on fear of what the customer may think. Is it possible those fears are the same as the ones we have of revealing our little "hobby"?

    By the way Brandy, this quote "Chains must first bind the heart. Freedom does not come with being released from your chains, but rather in the security of being bound tightly by them". is rather disturbing for someone that is supposedly trying to break social taboos (chains)

  15. #15
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    Pythos said:
    Wow Brandy, how utterly hypocritical of you. You make me look like I am completely open.

    With more people with that kind of attitude men will always be limited in their expression.
    sorry you think it's hypocritical Pythos, but apparently you have never invested thousands of dollars, time and sweat into your own business. I have. It's not hypocritical, it's reality, common sense. No one should have the right to ruin someone's business by driving off clients and customers by dressing in a way that would disturb most people. And only a foolish business man or woman would risk it. I'm talking small business here, not big corporate America or jobs where workers, such as mfg plants, assembly lines do not put those workers out where they have face to face contact with customers.
    As for one of my customers seeing an employee of my company out away from work dressed any way they choose, now I'd back that employee's right to do as he or she pleases on there own time. No they would not be fired. They were not representing the company while seen out, so it is not my concern for the one bigoted customer.
    With your flag waving stand on what someone looks like, then I guess it should be OK for all of them to be naked as well. To hell what others think and the business failing right? There is a time and a place for everything, a time and a place to be naked. But at the expense of ruining a business's reputation makes no sense at all. Change is happening, slowly but surely. But it will not happen if all businesses and those that want to dress differently throw all caution to the wind and lose jobs and business to satisfy the mostly unacceptable mannor of dress by a very small percentage of people.

    Sure it would be great of we all can dress and act as we please and be accepted by all, but clearly that is not reality. It's a long way off.

    BTW, I am not one that is trying to break social taboos. I'm glad some are, but it does not fit into my life to be so open or get fired for wearing a skirt to work. I'm happy keeping it very private. To each there own.

    And you sure twisted the meaning of "chains from my quote. Those chains are emotional chains, not the kind you think would be OK to wear to work.
    Last edited by BRANDYJ; 11-28-2010 at 08:00 PM. Reason: spelling

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member Danni Bear's Avatar
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    This is the type of thread that gets emotional quickly. Pythos, yes the emphasis on hiring should be on qualifications and ability to do the job. The reality is that those are usually the least important attributes that hiring managers look at. Hiring is done a lot of the time on just the gut feel of the person doing the interview good or bad. Brandy, some businesses do have restrictions on what employees wear even when on personal time, these are usually for those that through their job are known in public and how they are percieved can effect the company reputation.

    Personally, my husband and I own our own electrical contracting company. We also do interior design and decorating. With 90+ employees we have 15 that are members in the LGBT community and/or the GOTH lifestyle. What we ask of all of them is when they are on the job that they remember that not all accept or condone them. To use their own judgement on what they see as appropiate for representing our company. In almost 20 years we have had only two complaints from customers about any of their appearence.

    Yes, it is a balancing act that we all must do in order to survive in these economic times. How we present does matter to many, right or wrong life requires sacrifices be made. That is what makes one an adult and not a child, to make those choices and sacrifices for yourself and your loved ones.

    Danni

  17. #17
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    Pythos, I agree with what you have said: the qualifications for the position SHOULD be what the interviewer should be looking for BUT if several prospective employees have similar qualifications then it boils down to how well the prospect fits into the work environment and associates with the clientel. I wish it could be the way you have described but it just isn't.

    As a high school teacher and coach, I would not keep my job nor get another with another school district unless I completely transitioned and then I might have a very difficult time. I am not argueing with you but just stating what I think the world is like.

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