I love my alter ego with a passion,but i also love being myself and i dont think i could ever just go one way anymore!People are really missing out if they cannot explore the other side of their gender to the maximum and i think there are alot of people out there that would love to do it but dont feel they should!!??
My guess is in twenty yrs or so it will be accepted as one of those things people do,or at least i hope it will!!
I would like to think that but it would seem the majority are comfortable with fitting into boxes or conforming to labels that society has come up with. As long as that exists, any "deviance from the norm" will always be looked at with a raised eye-brow at the minimum. Gender and sexuality are fluid and just as dynamic as life itself. Think of it as an experience rather than a choice and the number of things that change about the way you think are amazing and at times, scary.
Sonia now has a flickr stream...can she interest you to hop over and take a peek?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/soniacd/
She's also on Facebook now...and she'd like very much to be your friend
http://www.facebook.com/sonia.cd1
This is exactly how I feel too.
Why enjoy one life when we can enjoy two. It’s a gift that we have. At least that’s how I see it.
Yep, life is fun, [both of them] SUZY
it is fun for the transgendered to be able to live in both worlds.
I think I can speak safely for most TS here. To go back and live or have to present as our birth gender. There is not enough money in the world.
It was not fun living a lie or denying ourselves. It was and still is torture for many.
Danni
Last edited by Danni Bear; 11-28-2010 at 05:52 AM. Reason: corrected syntax
I for one do not or could not go back to being and living my birth gender. I could not stand that torture any longer. That being said, we have come a long way baby. The transgendered world has made great strides that many of you cannot see simply because of your age, not your fault, you were not here yet. The level of acceptance in most places has greatly improved over the last 30 years. Is it where we would like it, no. With proper guidance and a campaign to keep TG issues in the forefront, I think you will see more and more acceptance through out the world over the 20 to 30 years.
It sounds almost like you are saying that being transgendered (I don't mean transsexual) is a choice. I don't think it is. There is something innate within me that makes me dual gendered, just as thee is something innate in someone that is mono-gendered that makes them mono-gendered. I think that crossdressing would be as uncomfortable for someone that is mono-gendered as not crossdressing would be for someone that is transgendered. I know that, for me, yes, gender is fluid. But I don't think that is true for most people.
It would be nice to say that everybody is like us, and that we are like everybody else, but, truth is, we're not. We are a minority, and t date, a minority that has remained largely in the closet, out of sight and mind. There is precious little research to verify anything that would would like to believe, and as long as we remain in the closet, I believe that this will remain true.
Just my opinion.
Bobbi
Well said, Sonia!
I like being a part-time girl. Most of the time I enjoy being a man doing manly things but every once in a while I will get the chance to slip into something more comfortable and become Bekka. It's difficult to explain but it's like having a secret self that is also my true self. It's very exciting and liberating to slip into girl mode on occasion. I wouldn't want to be dressed all the time but I wouldn't want to never dress either. I've tried that several times and it makes me unhappy and incomplete. I love having the best of both worlds!!!
Perfectly stated, pretty much exactly what I was thinking.Originally Posted by Roberta Marie
The fact of the matter is that the average person, whether female or male, doesn't give even a second thought to their gender. It is what it is and it's not that they're happy with it, it's just that they know no different and that's cool for them. This is part of the reason why a lot of peeps have a hard time getting their head around the TG experience, particularly understanding stuff towards the TS side of things. It's simply not part of their world view.
As for my TG perspective, I know no different either as I have been this way for as long as I can possibly remember. As much of a pain in the neck it can be in my day to day life, I cherish my perspective. I do think of it as a gift at least most of the time.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
Hi Alexis,
It is one of thoes things that if I have to explain it to you
you probably wouldn't understand it anyway.
I once asked a friend of mine who is a twin what's it like to be
a twin he said I don't know--what's it like not being a twin.
Orchid
A few years ago I used to say that a lot.... But now its just the best of life... Now mater what clothes I wear. And anyway.... in 20 years. I doubt I'll be here.... ohh well. I'm always too late for everything. Sigh.....
lately, every time I am trying to respond to a question on the forum I am stopped dead in my tracks by some mysterious force. I am finally entering stage in my life when I feel to be becoming ME, all the past seems a fog and all the future just hope with dreams. Now, I feel just me, a being full of love and serenity, still fighting for this illusive mirror reflection but now bit less confused about it. I almost feel non sexual yet a girl, in the core and in my sole, I am just me but a girl just the same. Hard feeling to explain and not give it a sexual undertone but yet this is what it feels like. Do I care what cloth covers my naked soft curvaceous flesh, perhaps. And do I seek the mirror on the wall to tell me; "you are prettiest girl I know" absolutely. But if someone would present me wealth and all things earthly in return for forsaking femininity I would gladly turn down his offer and spent the rest of my life in poverty, yet fulfilled and whole. I once was a man who came in and out of femininity but it was just an illusion and a lie, for I always was feminine but needed to cover up and coward underneath masculine cloak. I believe there are those who are less feminine perhaps who truly are the inbetweeners and can accept duality with unburdened heart. I for once know, I can only be me, and that is that.
I don't want to take over this thread but... thoes of you that have responded so far have beat all around the bush in answering what you think it will be like in twenty years for cd/ts/tg/tv and people of all the other letters of the alphabet. Yes we all understand that you like being a girl or boy once in a while. We understand that gender and sexuality are fluid and just as dynamic as life itself. We understand that some people just don't know different.
Yet if you read the many of thousands of post in this community so many are afraid to come out of the closet for fear of reprisal. For fear of what thier spouse might think of them and the list goes on. What if, you could slip into your favorite panties, bra, stockings, garter, dress and heels or your favorite jeans, tee shirt, workboots and ballcap, open your front door and simply walk outside without being called a faggot or the other thousand names people have for us. What if, you could hop in your car and go shopping in the mall with out being singled out for trying on clothes in a dressing room which you were led to by an SA (which as we all know just happened to one of our own here).
So tell us, What do you think the acceptance of us will be in 20 years? Will we be able to come and go as we please? Will we still need to cower in the closet?
I wasn't going to respond, but I think that while Jorja asks an interesting question, it was not the original point of the thread.
I am happy to celebrate those who - like Alexis - genuinely have both genders within them. I believe that this is a gift that those of you who have it should be able to feel free to explore.
I also agree with Bobbi when she says that those who are cisgendered would probably feel uncomfortable trying to explore a part of themselves that basically does not exist.
That is also true for those of us like Danni, Jorja and myself who have already lived through hell trying to conform to the expectations of our anatomical gender. I would not want to go back to living as a man - even for one hour.
To try to give my answer to Jorja's additional question, I think that it is possible that there will be more tolerance towards the transgendered in about 20 year, but I do not currently foresee that there will be total acceptance (just as there is not yet total acceptance of our GLB friends).
Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.
This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist
Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity
both sides make a whole and that is me.
Michelle
First of all, I love dressing as Stephanie! But I have no desire to be Stephanie!! I was born a man, and am very happy with that fact. However, I do love to wear feminine clothes and plan to continue doing so as long as I am able to do so!
To get to the main question asked, I really don't care what the the next 20 years holds. Other than that I live that long!! The problem that a lot of people on this forum have is that they apparently are not certain of themselves. That is, who or what they are. Rianna and a few others have made the decision that they are not men, but women! Good for them, they really know themselves and have the fortitude to show it! So do I!!
Yes, I am a man and proud of it. But I am also a crossdresser! Now that I no longer have my dear wife to do my makeup and wig, I still like to dress and go out! So I do, but as a man dressed as a female!! It is my life and I live it the way I want, not what the general public wants me to do. The really odd thing is that I have been doing these things for the past 5 + years, and have not had one single bad comment made! I have had lots of compliments on my outfits, from both men and women! I believe the response one gets from the general public is in direct response to your own attitude. If you act like you belong where you are, dressed as you are and doing whatever it is you wish to do, you will be accepted! On the other hand, if you are afraid and act that way, the response will certainly be different! It is human nature to act that way! Hold your head up, and do YOUR thing!!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
I think a lot of this depends on us. If we are willing of come out of the closet to take a stand, to show people that while we can be a force to be reckoned with we are noting to fear, knowing that we may well be a casualty in a struggle for recognition and equal rights, I think the answer is yes. If we continue to hide in our closets, take the safe way out and only complain to each other and not to those who can make a difference, then we will forever be relegated to our closet.
Just my opinion.
Bobbi
I do think there will be major changes in the way society views the presentation of gender in the next 20 years. My observation is that the current generation does not hold the stigmas that previous generations have held, and I think it can only get better. The bottom line is that expressing the "other" gender does not harm anyone, and as the advantages become more commonly discussed, much will change in society toward transgenderism.
tina
How about society becoming tolerant of men wearing skirts, dresses, and heels, and applying makeup the same way as society tolerating women wearing pants? Men are allowed to have long hair, earrings, limited makeup, and painted toenails, items that were not tolerated in the 1950's. It will be hard for society to accept that men can wear skirts and dresses given that so few women wear those items.
John (Legal name)
Preferred pronouns: he, his, him
Sonia, very well said! I have never been so happy with myself until both sides came together. I feel we are a priviliged group having been able to experience this allowing us to see things with a much broader view. Ally
Ally
I couldn't agree more!!! Though one can hope a new world vision will evolve sooner rather than later
GG women are way ahead of the curve in this regard. Hell, most of them ARE men for all intents and purposes vs. how they were and what was considered normal and proper a few decades ago. The implication is obvious and unassailable. The logic, irrefutable. WE are the vanguard, the first of our kind. Tearing down what are old and now useless male stereotypes we are collectively redefining a New Male Gender, evolving. One that is multifaceted & diverse and what will in time become the norm. Behold: 21st Century Man!
GG women have advanced by crossing their traditional gender lines. Over the past 50 years or so they have evolved, becoming decidedly, even jealously independent, assertive and adventurous, assuming power positions at all levels of industry & government at an accelerating rate in the US the UK and other technologically advanced countries. So too have men now begun to explore and allow to blossom innate feminine characteristics which are in-standing, receptive & tolerant; attuned to form vs.function; the aesthetics of color & shape; the feelings of tenderness & compassion; intuition, sensitivity & understanding all of which have been self repressed and for all intents and purposes, socially prohibited.
As our numbers increase I suspect a critical threshold will be reached where our way of being is at first forced upon the public at large, akin to the Woman's Liberation Movement of the last century, and eventually accepted and adopted as normal male behavior. Just as the first female-men who shouldered themselves into leadership positions, of necessity over-exhibited their maleness, so too the first wave of male-women who appear in everyday life over-present their womanliness. The female-man will be examined by mass media with increasing frequency and focus: on the nightly news; in TV programs, in the movies; in real life. What is today's curiosity or threat, the transgendered M2F girl or woman will become not only accepted but championed and admired by each succeeding generation.
As today's post-modern GG woman attests, the opposite gender characteristics perhaps exaggerated and histrionic in expression in those who are the first (us), will integrate with the male side of who we are and this then will be the new norm: proud yet humble; strong & just; brave yet vulnerable; honorable yet tolerant. The 21st Century Man will become a worthy mate to his counterpart, today's typical GG woman. For the first time in the history of our species we will bring out the best in each other. True Love will follow romantic love as a matter of course. A new energy will resonate as a deepening abiding affection is realized experienced and expressed in essentially all male-female relationships, the vast majority of which will be long-term, even truly life-long as the norm.
The most rare and intangible force in the universe will become the most powerful force on earth. With growing frequency & coherence Real Love will be systematically focused by a sympathetic, enlightened species of humankind to dispel the darkness of ignorance & fear and as the deeper depths of Love are visited, its power will be brought to bear on the physical world comprised of matter, energy, space and time. Real Love will cure real disease, oppose natural disasters, move real mountains. This, the beginning not the endpoint of humanities adventure. Love is the jumping off point for a standard of living and opportunity of accomplishment the likes of which we scarcely imagine. It may seem a preposterous and grandiose proposition, that today's M2F TG girl is pivotal to tomorrows new social paradigm. But seriously though, why not? If not this way, how? If not now, when?
To quote The Bard: There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy (Wm. Shakespeare). So vast the greater expanse of this existence, this creation, this realm we find ourselves. Confused and alone, fearful and unknowing, blind to the overarching purpose of our individual lives let alone that of our species as a whole, we are all of us so young, so innocent, so seemingly lost. IMHO...it all begins with Love. As clichéd as it is I believe it is nonetheless true. As 21st century science indicates and logic itself suggests... Love conquers all.
How ironic yet somehow poetic and fitting that it is the human male whose brute strength and aggression once necessary for the survival of the species, must again rise to the challenge. The sublimation of those very traits that allowed us to survive and propagate, transforms 'lead' to 'gold', blue to pink, male to female, man to woman, guy to girl, and back again in a new synthesis during his transgendered quest for self understanding and purpose. In so doing thus transforming the manner in which all men and women relate, elevating relationships, ushering a new world vision based on Love. The missing ingredient, that which GG women left to their own device have failed to deliver, will be sparked by the male of our species whose influence is thus pivotal to overcoming today's seeming intractable global problems - possibly saving humanity...Again!
(Hey girls, do we ALways have to do EVrything around here??)
Last edited by Annaliese2010; 11-28-2010 at 09:23 PM.
Fantastic reply Anna, that was a good read! I agree that eventually the TG community will come to be more socially accepted, but its definitely going to take some time.
I agree with you Alexis, a lot of people really don't know what they're missing. Like my user title says I'm enjoying both sides of life!
Thank you Kristin that's very kind of you!
Now that I've reread it with fresh eyes (L'Oreal Wear Infinite Eyeshadow Palette for Light Eyes
Yes, I agree with you. Social acceptance will take some time for sure. Until then it's a good feeling to know we girls have the free & easy support that issues from the better angels inside us and by the natural inclination of good grace, to share ourselves one with all; all with each other.
never in a million bobbi,im just expressing the fact that you can enjoy being feminine without losing your other identity,i love being both!
Here here!I am lucky enough to say my girl accepts lexie and wants to explore with me(i understand that is so rare in Life im so exited for the future!!
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