sorry just too much info I shared. honesty did not know what I was thinking last night, but I will most defenetly keep what your responses all said. thank you very much for caring.
sorry just too much info I shared. honesty did not know what I was thinking last night, but I will most defenetly keep what your responses all said. thank you very much for caring.
Last edited by juligirl1984; 11-30-2010 at 06:15 PM. Reason: sorry just too much information I shared thanks anyways for the intrest though. I will keep it all in mind.
[QUOTE=juligirl1984;2336002 I do not want to be gay I get attracted sometimes to a really good looking guy but who doesn't? [QUOTE]
Well straight guys don't......
Honestly I would suggest that you talk to a therapist. You seem to be searching for answers about yourself.
Therapy would be my advice too.
You are right, you ARE confused. And you are suffering from really uninformed stereotype views of what men and women really are. "Normal" male conversation is not all about "boobs and stuff", for instance. You say you "don't want to be gay", but have been attracted to men. More confusion. Try to talk to a therapist, hon. They could help you straighten out some of your thoughts.
BTW, there is a huge difference between WANTING to be a girl (doesn't everyone?), and being a girl. Those who actually transition usually are fairly confident of where they stand on that issue.
S
Don't beat yourself up too much about your age and not having a girlfriend. The average age of marriage has been rising a fair bit in the last couple of decades, and that's just the average age, not the distribution.should I be out there trying to get a family started? I am 26.
I didn't start a long term relationship until I was 34. There were a small number of women I was somewhat interested in before that, but they didn't work out. Yes, there were periods along the way when I wondered "What is wrong with me, that I can't even get a date?", but the answers I came up with about that were things about me that I wouldn't change -- e.g., I refused to give up my honesty, and I refused to go to clubs to drink and "hook up" in hopes that one of the "stands" might last. I was "unusual", and it can take a long time for an unusual person to find a match. And that was even before I knew I was a cross-dresser.
Others have recommended that you seek out therapy, and I would agree with that. I'm in therapy, and it helps. It isn't uncommon for me to go in to one of the sessions with no real idea of what I want to talk about, perhaps even wondering whether therapy is still beneficial to me, but I open my mouth and something arises, and I do feel better afterwards.
I'll chime in here and agree with all above that therapy would be a good avenue to go down. A therapist doesn't mean you're "broken" or any other crap like that. Talking with someone about your deepest thoughts can really help sort things out. It's very, very helpful.
Gender identity, gender expression, sex attraction...they're not either/or situations. Have a look at this: http://www.gendersanity.com/diagram.shtml
That might help to order some of your thoughts.
LOL yes I thought that is what most would say... I used to go to therapy when I was young. I wish I took advantage of it then, I had to go since our parents divorced and honestly have no reason why mom sent me lol. but I would not talk to the guy and just stand there. I was a very closed up person when I was young unfortunley. so anyways thanks for the enlightments, When I said attracted to guys I meant like "a glance at brad pit or something and like wow he is a good looking dude". but yes i can see how a straight person would not even think so... "damn it" lol. Im not really beat up about getting married and a family, I personaly do not want kids at all. but its just the added stress from mom, basic stuff you know... yea I should go look for someone to talk too. Think I should go out of town on this one? I live in a small one 10,000 peeps. and I would hate to get gossiped about lol. stephanie, you are right, I NEED a better view on stereo types of male and female I guess I am not really a good people person. thank you all who responded...
Last edited by juligirl1984; 11-30-2010 at 06:18 PM.
I have heard of mothers nagging their children about getting married, pushing potential partners on them even in defiance of all common sense. My mother isn't like that, but there are a lot of stories about those kind of pressures. One of the fairly common elements of such stories is that if you give in and marry due to parental pressure, you will very likely soon find yourself under pressure to have a child. Sometimes just getting married is enough, if it somehow "proves" that "My child is not gay!", or if the spouse is wealthy (wealth equals social position or security, supposedly)... but often not, in the stories.Originally Posted by juligirl1984
aw thanks! yes she presses it a lot! even tries to hook me up with girls in town. ( my mom just moved from NJ to oregon to be with my sister and I, or closer to us anyways). she will ask about any girls she sees. and Im just like mom I work so much I have no time for a relationship or to even meet people rite now... and It's half ass true lol. I am honestly scared to even try to get in a relationship anymore. I just need to tell my mom so then she will be like "oh ok" now it starts to make sense... I already told her to stop once, and that she is really making me feel bad and kinda useless for not "wanting to date or even attempt it for the past year. ( this past two nights I finally started talking to a girl that skis and we have a lot in common) but still I figure Im screwed anyways... I dress up so much.... I really hope that is not how she thinks so far of me, pushing me to get married so she can relax... heck my sister is engaged practially and been living with her BoyFriend for 5 years... can't she be happy with that? thanks for writing back on that! that has been a problem for a while. a nice covered up one!!!! maybe I will straight up ask her, why do you want me to get a GF sooooooo bad mom? then you have to share me!!!!!! LOL!
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/...marriage_N.htm
That's an informative article about attitudes about marriage age
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0005061.html
That's a factual article about actual marriage ages
Canada's average age for first marriage were higher than that 50 years ago, and have been increasing since -- it is now at least 30.6 for males. "Geez ma, give me a break -- over the border in Canada, 26 would be considered pretty young to get married!"
... blah, blah, blah, "I just want you to be happy!"
Unfortunately, these kinds of pressures seem to be nearly immune to reason.
Could you tell her that you were thinking about going to a monestary? (I hear that some of them in Europe put on a really great meal for tourists)
Juli, what you were talking about made sense to me and I feel the same way to a lot of your thoughts.
Thanks for sharing
thanks for reading.
sara thank you for more Information. lol that would be funny to tell her. I do want to go to europe though some day! and austrailia!!!! yes I agree with you 26 is really early to even comprehend marriage the right way... I was engaged at 20-21 and I am so glad it did not work out!!!! who knows how that woulda turned out!!!! (very very bad Im assuming) I am happy though that others do find love. Its so nice to see my other family members get married and they all seem so happy...
christina yes Its a real pain in the brain to think about all this stuff right now... I have to get it done though and you should too! its not healthy, I feel shitty lately, have not had an appatite and just plain not there in the mind it seems.... I just go outdoors and exercise to try to extinguish the thoughts and problems... I does help to a degree... wow your in scottland? thats so cool! sorry excuse my spelling, I am lazy right now.
also Sara I LOVE YOUR MARK TWAIN QUOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!! I REALLY DO!!!!
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