The relationship between cross-dressing and sex?

[spotlessMind]

I think at this rate I might get a reputation of "stirring the pot" too much LOL! What can I do, I'm inquisitive

Ok so... My last thread about the basic "why" of cross-dressing started a little mental thought process and wound up on the topic of sex (uh oh, i'm going THERE). And, since I didn't really answer my own question in the last thread, I'll ask one and give you my personal answer also.

Is there a relationship between cross-dressing and sex TO YOU? And if so, and you feel comfortable to share, what is it?

Personally, I'm a very day-dreamy person. When I get into that feminine frame of mind, whether its acted out in reality or in my imagination, I suddenly find myself feeling things that I can only describe as... natural feminine sexuality. But any other time when I am not in touch with that femininity, I am quite typically heterosexual. But I think for me, my desire to cross-dress (this might answer the other thread) is based on more factors than just the aesthetics. Infact, if I had a gun to my head I would say I am classically trans-gendered. However, I haven't really figured out to what extent yet.

In short, my sexuality is based almost exclusively on being the opposite sex of the other involved. In all my sexual day-dreaming and fantasies, I am a man with a woman, or I'm a woman with a man.

Feel free to share if you are comfortable to! xo

[NathalieX66]

It happens....it just does.

Women's clothes are a mystery to most men, so it's understandable. It's like another planet.

In my case, I found myself identifying with women, in what their personal tastes and choices are. I am fascinated by the female mind. I want to be there.

So, for me, it's more than the clothes.

Sex, to me, relies purely on imagination what motivates you, and your partner.
We are human beings, and we have big & wild imaginations (someting Christian fundamentalists hate)

Crossdressing gets into another plane when it becomes a personal identity, and there's no sexual feelings involved.

[Leohose]

The touch of silken hose as it slides up our legs, the hug of a leotard as its lycra wraps around us pulling close, the light feathery touch of a silk slip as it rubs against the skin. The sensations just make us wild with either anticipation or outright arousal, which is connected to our sexuality however it is expressed.

Fantasy can become real if you want it to, or reality can be adjusted as it needs to be, we are who we are and how we need to be.

Enjoy

[Tanya83]

It's really not that complicated for me. It's just better in a dress.

[Marie-Elise]

I think for me that crossdressing has always been sexual. I have never had a fantasy of being with a man no matter how I am dressed. But I have had fantasies of me being dressed as a woman and my wife being dressed as a man. But, more frequently, I have fantasies of a lesbian thing happening with me and my wife, both in lingerie or her dressed as usual and me dressed in quite ****ly garb.

However, I try not to question it to much. It just is and I just am.

[Michelle James]

This is a real complicated issue for me. I have been a crossdresser for 40+ years. Most of them in the closet. Initially it was all about sexual arrousal. one could say cross dressing was my fetish. I had others but that was the big one. I would but on the clothes, take care of business, and couldn't wait to get them off. Sometimes I would even be so repusled that I would throw them away and actually feel shame. That was many years ago! Somewhere along the line it or I evolved into most likely a transexual (still in the denial stage). As I am dressed lately most of the time sex is no longer an issue. In fact my fantasies now are not about crossdressing but other things that are best reserved for another time.

Sorry if I rambled a little I'm still trying to understand it myself.

[Karren H]

More like a relations between crossdressing and the lack of sex! Sigh. I should have been a nun!!!

[Barbara Dugan]

Crossdressing for me is a form of self expression it can be sexual or not sexual but for some reason when is sexual is when I find it more meaningful...again is just on my own personal experience as a gay crossdresser

[Angiemead12]

I do get some of my best O's when Im in lingerie. But my preference stays with women and in my fantasy a beautiful she male. Not attracted to the male form at all, the hair is a buzz kill. My partner knows that if I need something to pick me up she just needs to get me something to wear and its instant action. Who needs viagra anyway?

[charlie]

When I was 15, cross dressing was completely sexual. At thirty it was partially sexual, but I wanted to look good too. Now I just want to be as feminine as I can be and the best woman I can be. I don't want to date men; even when dressed. However, I will flirt with them and drink drinks that they buy me. The sexual part comes still from looking at sexy crossdressers and GG. I love women! Me included.

[AmiFL]

charlie..... i could not agree more.... men are not an object of desire at all.... the sexual thrill of dressing or seeing other crossdressers takes the second row.... behind being with a GG..... however being with a GG while dressed was my ultimate thrill

[Melinda G]

Womens clothes are designed to be sexy, and stimulate men. They feel better than mens clothes, and are made of softer materials, and reveal more flesh. High heels are designed to be sexy. So it's really just carrying it a step further to put them on and enjoy them.
Once you put the clothes or heels on, you're hooked. They turn you on, but you're still a guy in a dress or high heels. So you go to the next level, shaving yourself, and getting into makup, to see how that feels and looks. And the whole thing just seems to escalate, and you can't stop. And then you just have to have another pair of heels, and breast forms.................and, help me, I've got 40 pairs of womens shoes and I can't stop!

[Diann]

Count me in Charlie and AmiFL ! my thoughts too

[spotlessMind]

40 pairs, Melinda?! Gosh, I don't even have ONE pair lol you're outta controllllll =)

[Melinda G]

40 pairs, Melinda?! Gosh, I don't even have ONE pair lol you're outta controllllll =)

You gotta lot of catching up to do, hon. But it's gonna be fun.

[JennaDesire]

While I dress mostly for the feeling of being Jenna, I have played with toys as Jenna and loved it. While I am not attracted to men, I fantasize about Jenna and another cross dresser or she male having sex together. I love the sexiness of silky lingerie on my body though, that is a rush for me.

[Melinda G]

This is like heroin, only legal!

[Shari]

Sexual?
Absolutely!
It certainly raises the bar during lovemaking for me.
I've never been with a man, but given the right set of circumstances................

[spotlessMind]

I'm going to add onto my original post.

I have absolutely NO reality-based experience of combining sex and my feminine side. I've never been anything but a man with a woman in my palpable experience. That leads me to thinking that there are actually very few sex-based reasons for me to BE female. 1 is not 2, but if you add them together you do get a brand new number. That's sort of how I think I am about it.

I don't think I have much confusion on the sexual side of it at all. I can't definitively say that can't change with some experience, and I do find myself wanting to be attractive and beautiful for the opposite sex when I am female, but isn't that pretty much how ANY woman feels? Sexuality is seemingly just a result of what I am. This is why I get the impression that my cross-dressing is a matter of trans-genderism and not so much a matter of fetish and sexuality.

Thanks for all the replies! Some made me laugh out loud (Karren, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN lol) and some I honestly didn't relate to at all hehe, but they all fascinated me equally =)

[charlytuna]

this thread realy help me to sum my feeling of why I dress for me it all above I been trying to answer my wife question for years "why" now I sat her to read this I hope that came away with more understanding of "why". I know it made it clear for why I love to crossdress and why I have the need to dress. Thank you everyone who posted their feeling

[Michelle 51]

When i started dressing it always ended in sex but i dress far too much now for it to end in sex.I'm always at least partily dressed so when you reach that point sex just can't "keep it up"if you know what i mean.

[spotlessMind]

this thread realy help me to sum my feeling of why I dress for me it all above I been trying to answer my wife question for years "why" now I sat her to read this I hope that came away with more understanding of "why". I know it made it clear for why I love to crossdress and why I have the need to dress. Thank you everyone who posted their feeling

This thread being productively positive for even one person is more than I could ask for. I'm so happy that it helped you in some form! Sooo happy for you. What a wonderful thing!! =)

[Randee]

I have concluded that for me it is a love and infatuation for women that led me to a curiosity for how it feels to dress in the very different clothing they wear for the look and feel. The clothing brings out the best attributes of the woman wearing it. Feeling the same clothing on me gives me a very intimate feeling with all those attributes that excite me as a man. No big surprise why most crossdressers are hetero and the women who love them are worshiped.

[Debglam]

I think at this rate I might get a reputation of "stirring the pot" too much LOL! What can I do, I'm inquisitive

First, Your posts have been really thought provoking and "don't give a damn bout your bad reputation." (Joan Jett - One good music quote deserves another!)

Second and speaking for myself, I think that the urge to CD needs an outlet. When I wasn't dressing, the outlet was fantasizing followed by. . . Having actually fully dressed for the first time, the sexual component surprising wasn't there. I am strictly heterosexual and sometimes I like to assume the passive role, but still as the man. Now, sex with my wife while dressed is intriguing but about as likely as a snowball in hell. . .

[laura.lapinski]

It's always been sexual for me. I like to express my submissive side, and I suppose its also imitating the thing I adore so deeply, the femenine appearance and mistique. I must project them as being so powerful over me, hence my attraction to them, that I must want some of that power and beauty for myself, which is why I probably CD a little and fantasize about being one of them. I think, as others have said, as you emulate, you just go all the way and in your mind completely become them. I've also noticed I do this more if I'm lacking a love relationship with a woman or feeling stressful and insecure. Then, there is also the mind conditioning of it all. Your brain knows that when you do this, you give it (your brain) some pleasure, so it uses these facts about what gives you pleasure to drive your behavior. Psychologists say that attraction to a penis, as in giving oral sex, relates to suckling a breast (a nurturing need). Maybe this plays into it too.

Knowing all that, I could still see myself having a real relationship with someone who could pass as looking like a woman. I think as long as you are getting love and are attracted to that person, sex is just a natural expression of that.