Starting to get a little angry with the attitudes out there.

[Jay Cee]

I am angry with the world at large for all the BS that CD'ers put up with. Not just crossdressers, but the LGBT community as a whole.

I am dreading my return to work. I am dreading the idea of spending 8 hours a day with people who are, for the most part, intolerant of anyone who varies from the norm just a little bit. Loathing the thought of not being able to wear nail polish, a nice necklace, or whatever kind of earring I want.

Maybe this is Karma. For up until a year ago, I was tossing in my ignorant a$$ comments with the rest of them, trying to hide how I truly felt. Now I'm seeing the world from the other "side". If there really are sides in this. <sigh>

All comments are welcome.

[hhdave]

I hear you. I have an ex-girlfriend who is quite convinced that I'm gay just because I happen to like women's shoes. After we broke up her mom decided to unload and also decided to throw in that she has gay friends who think I'm one of them just because I like the shoes. Yeah, sure. After all, any guy who wears women's shoes, likes theater, and has his ears pierced must be attracted to other men . Sure, I probably fit many stereotypes, but I really don't find other guys attractive in any way.

[JohnH]

I wonder if there are some that are driven over the tipping point to transition to female so they can wear what they want without the stupid "masculine anxiety" that is pandemic to this society.

Johanna

[DaniPat]

Hey Jay;
Tolerance in the middle of Canada seems like the same thing in central Ohio and the deep south. A red neck is a red neck no matter where you live. Sorry to all of the tolerant red necks out there, all 2 of you......., just joking......, maybe. I have found that when a conversation is going in a direction that I feel is inapropriate to me I either try to turn the conversation, say nothing, or get up and leave for a while. Luckily my co workers, to an extant, are a tolerant bunch and not the general biggots found in most rural areas of OH. Since almost everyone I know or work with knows I have 2 places I call home, Lake county Ohio my birth place and home for my first 11 years, plus Washington state for Jr high and high school years, they know and see me as a liberal with mild conservative practices. Which actually means that I practice what I preach and when I see something wrong I don't pound on the walls, have a sit-in, or scream about the inadequacies of our modern society, I just try to work within the rules to affect or change what I find to be wrong. I have always been a bit of a contradiction anyway. I guess being a crossdresser fits for me, male outside and female tendencies inside.
I would tell you to be tolerant of those who are so closed minded or simple minded to actually think outside of their bias biggoted ways. Just know that there is a very large community of tolerant and like minded people in the world. This forum is a fine example of what a bright future our world can have and is found here in these posts every day. Good luck and just think of those biggots as mere sheep stuck in the "Tar pit" of the here and now. They will eventually become extinct and I can only hope that all of us are still around to see it happen. The worm turns my friend.

DaniPat

[Karren H]

Well come live with my wife for a while.... Ms don't get to girlie or I'll get pissed!! Compared to her, work is like a haven of acceptance! Lol.

Reminds me I need to trim my finger nails!!

[melissacd]

Arghhh! Not another intolerance thread...I just cannot tolerate them

[DaniPat]

"Proud member of the National Sarcsm Society... Like we need your support!!"

Love your signature Karen. Jay cold usehelp from the "Sarcasm Society" with those red necks where he lives. Red necks never understand sarcasm.

[Jay Cee]

...Good luck and just think of those biggots as mere sheep stuck in the "Tar pit" of the here and now. They will eventually become extinct and I can only hope that all of us are still around to see it happen. The worm turns my friend.

DaniPat

I like that analogy. A lot.

And you are right, DaniPat. There are tolerant folks out there. Somewhere. And there is the forum. Thank the goddess for this forum, and the good folk that participate in it.

[Starla]

It's frustrating, to be sure, but unfortunately such deeply ingrained prejudices take generations to overcome. It's been well over half a century since Brown vs. Board of Education and since Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat, and 47 years since the March on Washington, and while no one can deny the great difference in the way African-Americans are perceived and treated now vs. then, there is still lingering racial bigotry in the U.S.; some overt, most covert; sometimes still spouted and expressed in unguarded moments among even people who seem on the surface to be accepting and tolerant.

The active struggle for gay rights and tolerance is considerably younger; that for trans people even more recent. Though things change slowly, it's obvious that due to more such people having the courage to be "out," many kids grow up with friends who are LGBT, and more people know someone of that ilk personally through work or family members. Ignorance is often born of unfamiliarity -- the fear of the unknown. The more contact people have with us, the more likely they are to see it as no big deal.

My foray into transitioning and working as a woman was, to be sure, ill-advised and didn't work out for me personally. But I am proud of having had in those years, I believe, a positive effect on many people. One notable example was my first such job, at which it was known that I was TG. The office manager, a 50-ish man from a rural area of Florida, was initially standoffish with me in person, and hostile behind my back. (I was told that initially he often referred to me as "it" when I was out of earshot.) But I refused to be cowed, and finding that he and I shared similar senses of humor, used that humor and, coupled with a good work ethic, won him over. He warmed to me and became one of my biggest allies, and when I left that job, he was sorry to see me go, and wrote for me a glowing letter of recommendation. I like to think that the next time someone disses T-folk in his presence, he'd be more likely to say, "You know, I had such a person on my staff once, and she was one of the nicest, hardest-working employees I ever had."

That's how you change things -- one heart, one mind, one person at a time. Being "out" or activist isn't for everyone, but to those who are, thank you. You may only "convert" a few souls, but their newfound acceptance will spread and multiply. It doesn't happen overnight, nor is it an easy road. But, things WILL get better.

[DebsUK]

There are always goingto be intolerant tw@s. It's not karma, because if this was about you joining in previously, then where is their feted punishment? Do realise, hon, that they will all have things in their closet they would be mortified if other people found out about. He's a wife-beater, she slaps her husband around too, he's having trouble in the trouser department of a night time and she leaks a little more than she used to when she laughs etc. You're doing the right thing and they are in the wrong. You're way braver than me and my platitudes and almost indiscernible touches like the slightly longer hair, for doing what you're doing, so keep it up, babe. You rock
x

[Debutante]

I wonder if there are some that are driven over the tipping point to transition to female so they can wear what they want without the stupid "masculinity anxiety" that is pandemic to this society.

Johanna

Thank you for mentioning "masculine anxiety". I see that I have always noticed that, and hated it... men are so fragile and on edge with anything! Makes one want to run away and be a girl...!

[Joanne f]

There are always some that will never accept difference or change and you will never change that but for most ordinary people once they have got over the shock they start to be indifferent about it .

[Kate Simmons]

You can't change the world Hon. What you CAN do is get in touch with yourself and your feelings, take ownership of who you are and enjoy it. If others cannot appreciate that, it's their loss I figure.

[spotlessMind]

I think the best thing to do is to be the change you wish to see in the world. You'll have to deal with the accompanying adversity, but you can't expect anything to change unless you are willing to live it yourself. Plus, no matter what anybody does or says against you, you will always have an unmatched dignity that nobody can touch, and you just might influence and inspire souls along the way, whether your impact is minimal or monumental. If you submit to a lesser way of being then you will end up no better than the people you are criticizing. Don't end up with regret, stand tall and do what you know is right. Don't worry about tripping over some speed-bumps, it'll happen, that's life.

[Jill Devine]

I wonder if there are some that are driven over the tipping point to transition to female so they can wear what they want without the stupid "masculinity anxiety" that is pandemic to this society.

Johanna

Oh without doubt that happens.

[Shari]

Don't you know that along with white males, we are the only ones in this country that it's still okay to make fun of?

[Katesback]

From my observations it seems that when the GLBT community is fighting for causes they feel important crossdressers are rarely part of those fighting. I personally do not give the whole GLBT thing much thought these days but I will suggest to you that instead of posting a rant (with a picture of your legs I might add) you might muster the strength and go out into the real world and live your life as you see fit. If you have confidence and respect for yourself you will be doing good for CDs.

Finally I am no fan of the gender F__K thing. Ya want to present a man then it is best to present a man that is what society expects. Conversly when you present a woman it is best to present a typical woman.

[spotlessMind]

Don't you know that along with white males, we are the only ones in this country that it's still okay to make fun of?

Touché! So I'm both of the 2 things that are ok to make fun of =( That's fun *sigh*

[MJ]

What you CAN do is get in touch with yourself and your feelings, take ownership of who you are and enjoy it.

I think the best thing to do is to be the change you wish to see in the world..

very true.... if it's ment to be it's up to me

[Andrea's Lynne]

I struggled with this issue for much of my life .... and now don't give much of a @#$% what others think of me or my lifestyle. I wish I could have achieved this state of mind earlier. Best of luck to you, sister

[JohnH]

Just look at the bright side of things. I could still be a male narrow-minded oaf making fun of crossdressers and transgendered individuals, and hating my life. I will live with the way people think of us rather than to be suicidal.

I think crime would go down and people would be more productive if people were able to come to terms with their gender identity.

Johanna

[Jay Cee]

I thank you folks for some very thoughtful responses, and the support.

I have no plan (yet), but I'm very curious to see where this will go.

Jay Cee

[Virgin1A]

I hear myself saying the same intolerant rubbish to my mates and I hate myself even as the words are coming out. Peer pressure and the urge to deflect negative attention are the most powerful forces in the universe. Gravity ain't even close!

[Pythos]

Ya want to present a man then it is best to present a man that is what society expects. Conversly when you present a woman it is best to present a typical woman.

O.o

WHAT???!!!

This from a male dressed as a woman standing beside a motorcycle, at what looks like a motorcycle rally.

You do know that women and motorcycles DID NOT MIX until maybe 40 years ago? The thought of a woman riding a motorcycle was foreboden except for "those women".

My point being; just what is a "typical" male, and "typical" female?

As far as joining the LGBT things....have you tried? My understanding is the intolerance in those groups is just about as bad for the most part. If we are to attend we are to "blend in" something that is really getting old with me. I am sick and tired of people telling other people how to look, how to "blend in".

What is the purpose of blending in? I thought people strived for individuality, yet even here there is the press to blend in.

The only reason I could think for blending in is to avoid snide, or jealous, or catty comments. LOUSY REASON, and one that would not be necessary if LESS people blended in.

I am not talking about clownish looking mind you, but just because the majority of women wear dull styles, or jeans predominately, does not mean we need to limit ourselves to that lousy standard.

By the way. Proud gender F&*er here.

[VanessaVW]

If people want to "celebrate diversity" as much as they keep saying, then let's celebrate ALL KINDS of diversity, which would also include us, of course.