Starting to get a little angry with the attitudes out there.

[GaleWarning]

Jay Cee, perhaps you ought to emigrate to NZ.
People here are more laid back.

[Jay Cee]

Jay Cee, perhaps you ought to emigrate to NZ.
People here are more laid back.

Tempting thought - I hear it's beautiful there. Might check it and Australia out in a future vacation.

[Kaz]

There is no "promised land". There is only now... I have been acting since I left school, probably before... every situation requires an act... it is just about fitting the right act to the right situation... Kaz is good at acting in male situations... actually, it's kind if fun!

[Kitty Sue]

I hear you. I too have been guilty of making jokes trying to cover up who I really am. I try not to do it anymore. Initially I was surprised by the comments and looks I received from members of the LGBT community, I am not now. I suppose education is going to take time.

[ThiHi]

Intolerance... yes, I'm intolerant of it ;-P

While I'm not "out", I'm definitely 'different'. The way I dress and act is not typical 'Male" behavior, but it's very typical 'Me". But it's taken a very long time to get even this far. I try to be true to who I am, and not be too sensitive about others comments and looks, though I get them.

[Melissa Rose]

Hating the world will not change anything. It will only gnaw at your spirit. You cannot directly control or change how others think and feel. You can usually control how you react to the hate, bigotry and ignorance. If you give in to it, they win.

Unfortunately, there will always be hateful people in the world. Fortunately, they are vastly out numbered by those who are tolerant or indifferent at the worse, and accepting and supportive at the best. Don't let the few ruin it for you and darken you heart.

[zoe m]

Think of how fortunate you are that you don't think like all those people, that your own situation has allowed you to see beyond the common prejudices. I feel sorry for all the intolerant people out there.

[Jay Cee]

Wonderful advice and stories. Thank you all.

Zoe, your attitude reminds me a lot of my gf - she has been amazingly supportive during my recent path of discovery of myself.

[GingerLeigh]

I think that everyone who secretly CD's or is in the closet for any reason will try to fit in the normal crowd (if that's what you want to call normal) by slamming the community they secretly belong to. I did it all the time, I often felt like I've "eaten my young" as I casually agreed with those that are so bloody intolerant of others.
Lately though, I've been trying to be more defensive. I'll ask why would you care what so and so does? As long as nobody gets hurt who gives a damn? I cannot outright try to educate the rednecks I work with, I'm already under suspicion. Knowledge of such activities would verify their suspicions and give them more reason to exile me from their clique. Big loss there.
I asked someone once why they felt so offended by homosexuals. Who do they hurt? There are a few openly gay people at my workplace and they are snickered at behind their backs etc... This person only replied "because it ain't natural". Whatever. Stupid logic for stupid people.

Ginger

[Jay Cee]

My grandfather once told me, and lo and behold these many years later...it is THE TRUTH.

"Sonny boy, if you go through life and at the end of it can count your friends...true blue friends on one hand...consider yourself VERY lucky. Even more lucky if you can count your BEST friends on 2 fingers of that hand....or even one."

I love your grandfather's wisdom. And how he dealt with your CD'ing at such an early age... amazingly enlightened.

[JohnH]

I had been found by my Southern Baptist grandmother wearing her girdle and stockings and saying hello with "Mary Thumb and her four sisters"....(Ejaculating.)

In other words, Rosie Palm and her five sisters!

[Xandria]

why let it bother ya? do you really think that these people will loose sleep for making fun of CDs/whatever else you may call us? NOPE they wont.. just because we wear delicates doesnt mean we should have delicate skin.. TOUGHEN UP ALREADY!!!


I AM A GENDER F*CK << i didnt even know what this meant till yesterday.. my voice is so low that i could never dream of trying to feminize my voice.. so i dress the way i do and talk the way i talk and if people dont like it.. KISS MY *SS cuz i wont loose sleep over you falling over backwards from laughing at me

i'm tired of trying to fit in, in any group that is. i give up.. i even see little cliques on this forum as well.. pretty disturbing actually.

[Stephanie Anne]

I want to just counter this by saying there are places where being out is not always negative. I have a very wonderful work and family and all my friends are positive about me. I never have a negative experience when I am out and pretty much am left alone.

I am thinking it is karma rewards for putting up with a life time of self deprecation.

Comment and opinion below... look out!

I would assume it is harder for a crossdresser as you all have both sides of your life and have or want to keep them. Most people do not like uncertainty and seeing someone who cross gender lines constantly is confusing to those just learning about trans issues. For me it was a clean break transitioning male to female so it helped in my mind avoid confusion. I hope one day our struggles and strides can be shared with you.

[erickka]

All I have to say, is that I can't wait until Karma catches up with those bigoted narow minded A$$HOLE$ !

[unclejoann]

My officemate told me that he could "understand why someone would murder a crossdresser." I don't personally have enough tolerance to try and talk sense to someone like him. I immediately asked to move to another office, when I told my manager what he said I was given a shrug -- like I was being too sensitive.

[Stephanie Anne]

My officemate told me that he could "understand why someone would murder a crossdresser." I don't personally have enough tolerance to try and talk sense to someone like him. I immediately asked to move to another office, when I told my manager what he said I was given a shrug -- like I was being too sensitive.

Ah but you see you are not giving context. I could also see why someone would murder a crossdresser. I wouldn't ever condone it but I can understand the twisted mind of someone unstable enough to kill another human being.

To me that sounds like it could have been a stimulating conversation. Now if they would have said "I can see myself killing a crossdresser" I would have got up and went to my manager then HR and would have pushed to have that person reprimanded under california equal rights laws preventing harassment.

Without context, I have to also shrug. This brings up a thought I have that we do sometimes are overly sensitive to the perceived threat. We would rather assume the worse than take the chance that it is not as bad as we think.

If I would have never just taken the risk, I would still be cowering at the thought that me coming out would get me fired and lose all my friends and family.

[GingerLeigh]

You answered your own querry Ginger! In an oblique round-about kind of way.

Here's what I think of cliques. In one word.

Ostentatious.

Work environments are just that. Work environments. Not work cliques. The sooner I separated myself from these sorts of gatherings, the sooner I felt more substantiated. Who gives a rat's ass what other people think about other people...supermarket rags and newspapers, and neighborhoods are full of this garbage.

Look. Celebrities come under horrible scrutiny...and guess what? It passes...and the negative limelight passes on to the next unfortunate millionaire...billionaire...common folks too, in every imaginable scenario...and I dare say again. Who gives a rat's ass?!?

If you engage in backbiting you're going to get bit on the behind...hard. Sooner or later.

My suggestion is to just do your job to the best of your ability and don't get involved in 'Office Gossip". Even if it's about another poor soul, and you overhear it, it's very negative and weather it's true or not, hearing snide remarks and worse, taking part in the laughter on your part, will bias you against that person being slammed to the point that the gossipers poison will be your poison...and that's a no win situation.

Poison in any form is just that...

"Ostentatious?" I dunno, what's that?

Anyway as I said, no longer do I participate in the activity of bashing others. I sit alone for the most part, either by my choice or theirs. Seems they are fine with me when I talk to them alone, but as a group there are always snide remarks along with the "knowing" looks and smirks going my way.

I'm above that. I don't give a rats @ss what they think anymore. If I weren't married (and closeted) I would openly go forth and demonstrate what it is to be a crossdresser. I would challenge any of them to say boo. However, I think my wife might take exception to such exposure and may be horribly embarrassed by my public femininity.

Ginger

[Jay Cee]

I am caring less and less what others think. I have to deal with the construction mindset nowadays (oh, joy), but I'm wearing studs in my ears, clear nail polish, and girl jeans. If they have something to say about it, I haven't heard the comments. I'm not running with the "in-crowd", but then again, who cares.

Thank you, girls! I appreciate your perspectives.

[JohnH]

I AM A GENDER F*CK << i didnt even know what this meant till yesterday.. my voice is so low that i could never dream of trying to feminize my voice.. so i dress the way i do and talk the way i talk and if people dont like it.. KISS MY *SS cuz i wont loose sleep over you falling over backwards from laughing at me

I guess you might be a second bass the same way as I am - able to sing down C below the bass staff and lower. We could be en femme [maybe as Dolly Parton] and sing a Johnny Cash song [e.g., Rings of Fire] at the local karaoke bar!

You do look very nice in your pictures.

Johanna

[NiCo]

I am angry with the world at large for all the BS that CD'ers put up with. Not just crossdressers, but the LGBT community as a whole. .

I don’t get BS from society, I’m stealth. What does piss me off is the BS I get INSIDE the LGBT. From people who are supposed to have an understanding, even just a slight, in regards to what I and others put up with on a daily basis to protect ourselves and stay stealth and stay safe and stay alive. The hatred I had for myself, the loneliness and lowness. It is something that will probably never change because some people are so obsessed with their own path they are ignorant to the world around them, and think the world revolves around them. Asking me things like “why would you want to be a man” or “what made you think you felt like a man” or “you have no idea how much I would want your body, why are you destroying it” is the lowest form of ignorance I have ever experienced. I never hear this from the rest of society, which is why I prefer being stealth. I could go on but I cba tbh. Some people will never *get* it. Not even some TS people; clearly, from the PM I received only an hour ago.

I hope others don't experience same/ similar. It makes you feel even more disconnected from the "trans community" and makes you wonder why you even bother sticking around on sites like this. But then again, someone out there might need my help.

I just hope for future generations, whether it be in the LGBT or outside, that people can just get a grip.

[Traci Elizabeth]

I actually could care less what you call me as I am unscathed by others opinions of me. I am a woman and a happy woman at that, and live my life as such 24/7. In your eyes am I transsexual, gay, lesbian, heterosexual, or some other label? Maybe I am all or maybe I am none. Nevertheless, I live my life to be happy and if that bothers you, that's your issue and problem not mine.

We need to quit worrying about others. Trust me most people could care less how you present yourself or what your gender is or your sexual orientation. They are too busy living their lives. You live yours as you see fit.

[ninapuella]

All I have to say, is that I can't wait until Karma catches up with those bigoted narow minded A$$HOLE$ !

One day the world leaders will all be crossdressers and then will we get our revenge.