The mysterious case of the exploding boobs...

[panda]

The mysterious case of the exploding boobs...


Yes you read it right ...

Ok, so I was looking for a cheap DIY alternative to breastfroms - I mean yes I will buy some eventually but I just haven't got round to it ( cos I want to do it properly, you know go to a specialist and get the right ones etc )

Actually lets go back to the start... tired of messing around with self timers and stuff I went out and treated myself to a Sony Bloggie which is a simple HD Video thing and not very expensive ( $150, but admittely another reason why I haven't bought BF's yet ) Sooo... I do some self shooting, just to see what I look like and everything is well not as bad as I was expecting, but not as good as I would like.

Prior to this I had never really "seen" myself as it were, so the whole thing was a bit of a revelation. So the story goes something like this.

At the first video session, I realized I looked well... rather like a man... which I guess is OK because according to the plumbing down below, thats wot I am innit? So I immediately rushed out and bought some makeup to cover the beard and blemishes. The result? Well apart from all the mess, slightly better... but still not great

Next I decided to hide "the bulge" which, despite re-reading "The Art of Tucking v2" several times I still haven't quite mastered ( mistressed?) Never mind, I can hide the equiplment fairly ok anyway - and it does mean I now have two rolls of sports tape ( one inch and two inch ) I can't quite figure out what the two inch is for because in the AoTv2 he ( she ) seems to stick it on, take it off, stick it back on etc etc then replace it all with one inch tape, so it seems I have a superfluous roll of 2inch tape... Never mind.. I FOUND ANOTHER AMAZING USE for the two inch tape... you simple wrap the stuff around your chest and you can instantly create CLEAVAGE!!!! Amazing

So now we get on to what this is really about... boobs...

As I now had the cleavage I was feeling pretty pleased with myself, but the whole boob thing just wasn't right - Looking at myself in profile in the video I realized that I was way off - When I started the whole CD journey about a thousand years ago when I was kid, well socks would do just fine, later I graduated to stockings stuffed with rice or beans or whatever was in the cupboard, and that worked fine for me for years... until I bought the damn video thingy... apart from being way too small for my body type ( average height, vaguely chubby and definitely bald and ancient ) My boobs were way too high up.

This is probably a common mistake for amatuers and newbies like me I think it's something to do with the fact we base the thing on the actual position of our nipples rather than the correct position of them which is obviously much lower down in a GG due to the natural protrusion and droopiness, anyway I digress.... I also felt that the beans/rice in stocking thing wasn't really working anymore due to my newly found cleavage... a new solution was needed... and after laying out 150 on the video camera, dropping another 150 or so on decent BFs was out of the question, especially as I have my eye on this fantastic LBD (/me grins sheepishly)

Thus I was looking for a cheap and simple solution to better boobs... and after searching and reading this forum, there was obviously lots of advice and suggestions and I concluded that I wanted something with some boyuancy - you know - feel a bit of bounce and a bit of weight so they seem, well, real I guess - I mean obviously I have no idea what they are *really* like, but based on empirical, scientific experimentations with the real thing as well as observation and examination of many I would say they are sort of heavier than we probably think, softer than a sack of rice or beans and of course warm and lets face it, highly pleasing and desirable in so many ways(*), but excuse me if I digress again - I am so obsessed with the prior named female appendages that I want some for myself, literally - but I guess I am probably not alone in that regard, particularily here on this forum

So there I am, searching for a cheap solution to this need, and I came across somebody who suggested filling condoms with water. ( ok it's obvious how this story ends, thats why i *padded* it out with so much background ) But it seemed like such a good idea! In fact, it *is* a good idea - for a few hours it really worked amazingly well - I filled them with twice as much water as i thought I would need ( about three cups for me anyway ) tied them up and stuffed them in under my newly taped up chest into my bra... and like WOW! Jiggle was like jiggletastic!!! The weight, the feel, everything about it was amazing... like REAL!!! Ok admittedly it needed a little adjustment - I ended up stuffing some socks in above to "fill" it out - but I can't describe how good it felt and REAL it felt ...

( hint: use lukewarm water, not COLD water

...now I'm what could be called a bit of a geek in RL, I work on computers, I'm surrounded by computers literally. I look around my home office and I see 7.5 screens - ( the .5 is because I have one newer laptop sitting on top of an older one so i can only see a partial amount of the screen, but in all honesty it;s just the tip of the iceberg) Believe me I have many more computers than most ordinary people need, and probably more than the EXTRAordinary people we find in forums like this one. I won't bang on about it because most people fall asleep as soon as I mention computers.. consider yourself saved

So there I am... working on my numerous computers... with my amazing lukewarm water-filled boobs...

..and I guess you can figure the rest out for yourself


The epitaph of course is that as I was heading to the kitchen to discard my deflated boob, I was thinking "oh gee I hope the other one doesn't burst as well" ....

So I had to mop up two major water spillages in one session...

Anyway, the moral? of this story is - if you want to try the condom filled with water technique - make sure you double wrap them, which means you need to use four condoms in total - a word from the not-so-wise

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it

Love

Panda xx






* there was a long pause between those two scentences

[annabellejorden]

Amusing, to say the least.
First off, thanks for the warning.

Secondly, as a fellow computer professional ( only 7 of my 13 computers have screens ),
I must ask, any casualties other than dignity, of course.

[panda]

Luckily not this time

...but I have f***ed several other computers in my time, usually due to wine spillages

[Phyliss]

Rather than "those" balloons , try some "party balloons" made for helieum (sp) can be purchased at most any "party store"
The material is a bit thicker and less prone to "breakage"

Just saying

[Rachaelgirl39]

Im sorry I don't have any words of advice, but i wanted to say thank you I had a good chuckle out of that. I hope you didnt ruin your computers.

[panda]

I'm just having fun with it and wanted to share the highs and the lows, if anybody benefits from my misfortunes then great

[helena.gcd]

it was funny to read it and i'm glad that you didn't damaged any of you computers!!!

i also still don't own any bf. i just play with padded bras and the silicone enhancers that ad one cup size. They get warm easy and add some bounce to the fat on my chest.

[Kate Lynn]

I tried waterballoons once,and one of them exploded,I don't have to go into detail do I?

[Kaz]

Hahah! Brought a lot back!

I used balloons and water for many years without a problem (I guess it is about the thicness of the plastic) - I even slept in some and woke up "dry"!

Seriously... get the silicones... don't mess about trying to find the perfect ones.. they don't exist...

I would start at the Breastform Store..!

[docrobbysherry]

Panda, u really had me worried when u mentioned "tape" and "down there" together! Brings back many painful memories! Ouch!

As Phyliss mentioned, balloons make cheaper and better breast forms! And, if you're going for size HH, like I sometimes do, be sure to double them up!

[KayleeDahl]

I would also hold out on spending money on alternatives, because eventually you will be getting the silicones anyway (as most of us have) and never look back. They are soooo much better than any DIY method i ever used, and I used alot

That said, I don't always use forms. Another alternative is layering 2 to 4 nu-bras to get the desired cleavage and cup size. Following that with a bra on top, you can create a great look that allows you to wear low cut tops.

On the whole tucking thing - i don't use tape unless i'm wearing a swim suit. for me, its far easier (and less painfull) just to hold everything in place with a tight set of undies. This works even for 24 hr days, including sleeping.

Hugs
Kaylee

[DebsUK]

It could have been worse. Imagine you'd popped out to the shops in the recent cold weather and they froze solid. It would be difficult to sashay along gracefully with a bra full of enough ice to sink the Titanic

[BritneyLynn]

I don't know if they are still on the market, but many years ago I was using two of those balloon/balls intended as a mobile "punching bag". They were a more durable material than your typical party balloon and came with a rubber band to fasten around your wrist. Deflated they had a pleated appearance. I detached the rubber band, put enough water in them to make them breast size (no where near the size for the manufacturer's intended purpose) and closed the "inflation" opening. Filled to breast size the pleats were no longer obvious. Between the minimal stretching necessary for MY purpose and the durability necessary for their intended purpose they were adequate for a generous term of service.

[panda]

Thank you all for the tips and laughs

I think I shall head to the store and buy some helium balloons. Had a good look at that nubra product - seems in fact pretty much the same principle as sports tape only somehwat more stylish - they actually have quite alot of products for ladies who are not well endowed up front - interesting and not wildly expensive

[linda allen]

Thank you all for the tips and laughs

I think I shall head to the store and buy some helium balloons. Had a good look at that nubra product - seems in fact pretty much the same principle as sports tape only somehwat more stylish - they actually have quite alot of products for ladies who are not well endowed up front - interesting and not wildly expensive

What you want is balloons large enough that when you put the water in they are not stretched at all, still limp. The bra will provide the shape. Probably something intended to be inflated to 24" or even 36". I've seen them on the Internet and I think someone on this board provided a link.

I use a double thickness of plastic garbage bag material. The short version is, I place it over a bowl, put the water in, raise the edges up to squeeze the air out, tie it off with a rubber band, and cut off the excess. As with the baloons, you want them to lay flat until you put them into the bra. You can warm them to body temperature in the microwave.

[Shananigans]

Bwhaha! It's okay. At least it wasn't in front of anyone. When I was about 13, I used to wear water bras. Victoria Secret used to make them and they are literally what they sound like...a bra that is filled with this oily, watery substance.

I had a huge crush on this boy down the street and we were fooling around (I was kind of a fast girl, I guess)...anyway...long story short...my bra busted on him. If I could have died right then and there I would have. Instead, I learned not to let boys grab on your boobs until you've actually grown some.

Either way, deflations are messy and embarrassing...moral to the story. At least yours' was just messy and you found humor in the situation.